// i’m still around, just pretty busy for the next week or so as i have a friend’s wedding to attend this weekend and my own wedding in a week :)

if i look back, i am lost
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@illbethroughwhenitisover-blog
// i’m still around, just pretty busy for the next week or so as i have a friend’s wedding to attend this weekend and my own wedding in a week :)
i would fight myself if i could
// oops meant to be in bed 3 hours ago, goodnight
// ps sorry if i am follow/unfollowing people at random my phone has been having a fit today it needs a nap
// oops meant to be in bed 3 hours ago, goodnight
Lavina’s wide, puffy eyes locked with the man’s. Her heart skipping a beat as she realised that it was merely someone who seemed to be going through the exact same as her. Her hands soon clenched into fists near her chest. ‘’ I’m —I’m.. Lavina – ‘’ Her eyes squeezed shut for a brief moment, not believing that there was TRULY someone else there.. She prayed that she wasn’t losing her mind, She prayed that this man wasn’t Just her mind torturing her with thoughts of hope.
‘’ are you… are you real? Oh please! Please be real… I don’t wanna be out here alone anymore..‘’ Tears began to well up again. It had felt like MONTHS since she had actually seen someone who looked seemingly normal.. The nurse wandered if this man had seen or spoken to anyone else, Either way, He was definitely alone now.. Hesitantly, she stood up, reaching a bloodied hand for the other’s arm. seeing the gun in his hand made her both relieved and.. slightly afraid. ‘’ are you a police officer..? do you know what’s happening? ‘’
“ Detective Castellanos. ”
He hoped the slight emphasis on detective wasn’t becoming a routine- how hard is it to tell the difference?- but Sebastian really couldn’t find it in himself to be too concerned that it might. Honestly, focusing on something so normal was helping to keep him- well, if not sane, then at least functioning basically normally, which was more than he could say for most of the… ah, people he’d run into.
More than he could say for some of his friends.
But this woman didn’t look like… that. She looked scared, yes, but normal, and Sebastian found himself torn between relief and probably unfair annoyance. Someone else to look after. And he fucking would, because Jesus, he couldn’t leave her alone here, not looking like that, afraid and lost and with nothing but a hammer to protect herself. If he could just leave someone alone in a place like this, he wouldn’t have gone towards the sound of her calling out.
She was harmless- for now- but when she reached out a hand to touch him, Sebastian had to fight not to flinch away, holding himself purposefully steady, watching her. She was scared, a woman alone; he couldn’t exactly slap her hand away. And he sure as hell could understand the desire to be certain things were real in this goddamn hellscape.
She touched him, his arm as bloody as her hand, but there- corporeal- real. Both real.
Sebastian let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Real, then. Or as real as things get around here, anyway. He didn’t answer her question verbally- shit, he didn’t want to get existential about reality right now- but the brief touch was enough for him, at least.
“And I really don’t. Are you alone here?” He eyed the blood covering… most of her, the way it was definitely covering him.
“ Is any of that yours ? ”
anything can be fightin words if you punch somebody right after saying them
Sebastian isn’t alone in Union, and even though he might not think that’s a good thing at first (he’s not on the best terms with Mobius), the Mobius agents he encounters will be crucial to his journey.
i will die with my joseph indoctrinated into becoming a mobius agent theory
// holy shit though!! i didn’t deserve this, i’m a good person!
// hey if anyone wants to do a thing just let me know, i am generally too shy to approach people but trust me, i want to do the thing.
wantxout:
——- Waking up in some unknown place, with no clue how you got there NEVER didn’t cause distress to whomever it had happened too. Lavina was no exception, paranoia took over her && left her with nothing but a sickening fear in her stomach. Things might’ve gone much better if she had, had some sort of company throughout her first few hours in what she could only call a NIGHTMARE. nauseating creatures around nearly every corner, in every room there’d be some sort of TRAP or bigger more powerful MONSTER. The nurse’s own BODY had become NUMB with fear to the point where she only KNEW of her injuries once she LOOKED. The worst of them all was when those THINGS would walk into a wire of sorts and EXPLODE, Leaving Lavina covered from head-to-toe in someone else’s blood. The young woman hadn’t had anything to fight back with, only recently had she found a hammer.. which still wasn’t much help. It was not until she found her OWN missing poster had she finally remembered that no matter what, whether she survived this and got home or not, She wouldn’t know where she LIVED. Lavina had spent a good couple hours sobbing into her bloodied hands, that was until she Heard SOMEONE. a ACTUAL voice! not a moan, or something in the dark, whispering her name. a VOICE, a man’s voice..
‘’ H — Hello !? is anybody there?! ‘’
Shotgun in white-knuckled hands, Sebastian paused in the middle of the dark and inexplicably bloody hallway, staring in the direction of the voice as though looking at the wall between them hard enough might give him x-ray vision to see if this was another new threat before it saw him. Hell, stranger things had happened than that, stranger things in the last few minutes even, so he couldn't even really be blamed. God, he could use a break. A smoke break, preferably.
The last time he heard someone crying, it was a ghost, or a memory, or something; this could be some kind of trap, which was why he'd almost just... let it go when he first heard the sound, work out from fighting his way through the... things a few feet behind him, now. After all, if it wasn't Joseph or Kidman or even that Leslie kid, it wasn't his problem. But- shit. He couldn't just ignore it, not if it might be someone who actually needed help. So he paused. And stared. And... nothing attacked him- nothing beyond the bloodied man-like creature he'd left dead a few paces behind him, quietly burning to ashes on the blood-streaked linoleum.
Well, fuck. That might actually be a person.
Some instincts never die, and Sebastian was a policeman at heart. Or at least he was before this nightmare started. So he stepped towards the room he judged the calls were coming from, feet crunching over things he didn't want to take the time to consider, and slowly pushed the door open, pushing into the room gun-first...
...to find himself staring over the shotgun at... a woman. A blood-covered, dirty-looking woman, but hell, he'd spent an uncomfortable amount of time looking himself in the mirror lately and he wasn't exactly workday-ready, himself. Most importantly, though, under all that, she looked... normal. Human. Of course, so had several other people until suddenly they fucking weren't, but... Sebastian lowered the gun, staring at her.
Shit.
" Who the hell are you ?"
Joseph: Is this what it was like, Seb? After the accident?
Sebastian: Well, I never put a gun to my head.
Joseph: No, of course not. Just quietly sank into a bottle.
Sebastian: We can't all be perfect... It never affected my work. But hey, you read the IA report.
Joseph: You know I didn't report you because I was worried about your work, Sebastian.
Sebastian: What else is there?
@demonisxd
It didn't take a detective to realize that the staff at the bar wanted him to leave- or rather, just the bartender, since by this time of night a place like this hardly needed more than one person there. Not that they needed anyone else earlier, either, but by now it was deserted not just in here but out on the street as well, well approaching the time when everyone should be at home- theirs or someone else's. The only thing that might do them some good was some security, since this place was far from the usual dive bars the guys on the force usually frequented. Those places were about as shitty as this but also well-protected, which was, once upon a time, a real draw for Sebastian and the people he worked with. Even detectives didn't make a lot of money, and uniforms sure as hell didn't; shitty was always all he could really afford to be wasting his money on. And then when he'd had a little more money, there were other... things to be spending it on.
He'd stopped going to those places near the station, started turning down invites after all but the most difficult shifts and the occasional celebration once he'd hit his late twenties, officially feeling like he was getting too old for that shit. The mind might be perfectly willing to drink until three in the morning on a Tuesday (if everyone else was doing it) but the body sure as hell didn't get the memo come Wednesday morning.
Turns out, though, if you really put your mind to it, you could drag your ass through Wednesday morning whether it liked it or not, even well past the thirty-year mark. But you had to be really dedicated. He always was, though; Sebastian never half-assed things.
And really, the only reason he was thinking about the next morning at all was the bartender's repeated but purposefully neutral glances in his direction were starting to irritate him enough to draw him out of the drunken more-or-less stupor he'd worked so hard on achieving. Passive aggressive looks aren't his style, and this guy had apparently mastered the art. Honestly- either tell him to get out or leave him alone, that's the job, how hard could it fucking be? To be fair, Sebastian slowly decided, it was probably the badge- he hadn't left it visible, but places like this, people develop a sense for how to pick out a cop. Made them nervous, he figured, since Sebastian had gone out of his way to avoid running into anyone he might know. So far, so good. All he'd run into was a couple he probably should've arrested for public indecency who'd left... sometime... ago, and this guy.
"Listen," Sebastian heard himself start speaking before the words were even fully formed in his mind. Which he had been told, admittedly, was something of a habit even pre-spending the evening in the sort of place where you can hear the sticky snap of your shoes detaching from the floor every time you try to take a step, drinking vodka he was pretty sure somehow came from below the bottom shelf. "If you have something to say, just say it so we can both get on with our lives."
// I have a reply and a starter to do but I'll have to get to them in the morning, sorry- not feeling great so I'm heading to bed.
[sebastian voice] nice work, detective!
“Hold the fuck up.” I say. I am the fuck up. Please hold me.
It's just the beasts under your bed In your closet, in your head
no addressing our problems we downward spiral like men