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Summary: Shiey visits Poison's flat. He drops a glass that breaks on impact and panics. He expects the aggressive response of his parents but it's Poison who's with him instead.
Rating/Warnings: panic attacks, implied past abuse
Relationship: Shiey/Poison (GIFGAS)
Wordcount: ~2,6K
Note: This one is also one of my favourites so far. Let me know what you think. I love all kinds of comments. If you have any feedback or criticism I'm here for it.
Ao3 Link!
His world turned into slow motion the moment the wet glass slipped from his fingers.
The adrenaline made everything so slow. Shiey saw the glass fall, but he couldn't catch it. He heard himself yelp a desperate "No" that he hadn't intended to let out.
The glass tipped sideways ever so slowly as he watched. Like a reflex, he tried to dampen the fall with his foot. Maybe it wouldn't break. Maybe it would be fine. Maybe it would only hurt.
The impact hit hard. The thick, heavy glass bottom hit his toes, that were only protected by an old sock. He didn't feel the pain yet, as he watched how the glass bounced off him and to the side. It hit the floor, where it shattered with a ringing sound that seemed to echo in his ears.
The world picked up speed again. Glass flew everywhere — under the table, under the fridge and all across the floor.
"No! No! No, no, no", Shiey whisper-shouted desperately. He grew quieter each time as he realised what had happened.
His breath caught in his throat as anxiety rushed through his entire body. It hit him like a wave that crashed down on him.
No.
His foot started to hurt but he ignored it as he dropped down to his knees and tried to collect as much of the broken glass as he could. The pieces under his knees bit into his skin.
His breathing picked up speed as it grew more shallow. It felt like electricity running through his veins.
No.
His hands trembled as he scooped up the pieces he could reach. The sharp edges cut into his skin as he shook. They drew blood in some spots.
"Shiey?"
He heard Poison from another room.
No.
Poison would be so mad when he saw. Fear rushed through him in another wave — he didn't even understand why. The pressure on Shiey's chest grew heavier.
No.
Then he heard footsteps. "Shiey?" Concerned this time. Poison entered the kitchen but Shiey didn't look up.
***
Poison walked with quick steps. The silence after the crashing sound was far too long and Shiey didn't react. Something was wrong. Was he alright?
As he rounded the wall separating them, he saw Shiey crouched on the ground between his kitchen counter and island. He was shaking, glass shards all around and a single droplet of blood fell to the floor; a sharp contrast to the light brown wood-textured linoleum that matched his counter tops.
For a moment he stared at Shiey, eyes widening in horror. What? The sight took his breath away as he stood there, frozen. He didn't understand. He took in the scene but nothing made sense.
His fingers still brushed the white wallpapered corner to his right as he snapped himself out of his frozen state.
"Oh no, Shiey, are you okay?", he asked and quickly stepped closer. He tried to avoid the glass but tiny shards pushed through his socks in an instant. He ignored the pain and focused on Shiey, who didn't react to him.
Only the shaking and the ragged breaths that cut through him moved his hunched over form. His shoulders were pulled forward, back rounded and head hanging low over his hands. A second droplet of blood ran down between his fingers. Shiey was really hurt. Poison felt nauseous. He didn't want to accept the reality of it and reminded himself to breathe. He firmly looked away from the ground.
"Shiey", Poison said again, growing more concerned by the second. As Poison placed his hand on his shoulder Shiey flinched. Hard.
"I'm so sorry", he choked out. His voice faltered.
"Hey, my love, everything's alright", Poison said. He cringed at the crack in his own voice. He tried to sound gentle, calming as he moved his hand over Shiey's shoulder. His heartbeat thundered in his chest as the adrenaline rushed through him. The same adrenaline that made him feel giddy and invincible when chasing down a train, now pushed his voice to crack and his hands to become unsteady.
It took him until now to fully understand the situation. Shiey had mentioned being yelled at over broken dishes — but this, this was severe.
He crouched down in front of Shiey. He had never seen him like that. He hardly ever saw him lose his cool no matter the situation. Poison's own breath picked up speed as his system kept flooding with adrenaline — completely unfit for the safety of his flat. He pushed it down, he couldn't stress out now that he had to be the calm one when Shiey couldn't.
Poison steadied himself before he continued. "I promise, it is fine. You did nothing wrong", he said in his best calm voice, forcing every kind of uncertainty out of the way even when his throat felt like it was being squeezed shut while his hands grew sweaty.
"Control your breath, it's okay" He didn't even know if Shiey could hear him — he hardly heard himself over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears. He had never dealt with a panic attack before but he continued to run his hand over Shiey's shoulder as he talked to him.
He talked and talked until his mouth felt dry like the desert. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth but he kept talking because he felt Shiey calm down a little bit with each reassuring word. The whole situation still broke his heart to pieces but he realised that he was helping and so he talked and talked until Shiey's breaths grew deep again and his hands shook less. He hated to see his boyfriend like that. Hated to see the blood and the anxiety but he shoved all those thoughts aside. It didn't matter what he felt right now.
Goosebumps spread across Shiey's skin even though the temperature of the flat was comfortable. "I didn't- I didn't mean to-", he stammered.
Poison felt sick again. All this because of a glass? He didn't even want to know why Shiey reacted like that. He tried to silence the stubborn thought — unsuccessfully — and focused on his boyfriend. "No, I know that, it's okay, don't worry about it", Poison said, doing his best to sound calming, not like he was freaking out himself, "let go of the glass, please. Be careful."
Shiey didn't look up at him yet, but he opened his hands that had clutched the bigger pieces. It looked as if he had to force his muscles to cooperate. Instead of a smooth motion his fingers uncurled bit by bit.
The edges of the glass were lined with red. Poison wanted to throw up. Not because of the blood, but because of the pain Shiey must have been in; was in. He refused to think about all implications of the past thought they kept bubbling up in his mind. He couldn't handle that right now.
"Everything is okay, it's not a big deal", he repeated — his voice had a false steadiness now, that he was endlessly thankful for. He supported Shiey's hands with one of his, to stop the trembling, then pulled each piece of glass away with the other hand. He set the fragments down on the floor.
"We have to get up now", Poison said gently, as he held Shiey's hands. He looked up but only saw his messy light brown hair hanging down. It was always a bit lighter in the summer, almost leaning towards a dark blonde and darker in the winter, like it was now. "You have to step back, away from the glass."
Shiey looked up at him for just a moment, then his bright hazel eyes darted away again and he nodded weakly.
Poison saw his face for the first time in minutes. A single tear had left a wet trail down his cheek. It made his own eyes sting.
Poison cupped his elbows to support him and together they got up.
Shiey seemed to have regained control over himself again. He lifted his arm to wipe the tear away with his sleeve. Then he stepped backwards, like Poison had said. He looked ashamed but too apathetic to change his expression. So he trained his eyes on the floor.
Poison noticed the pieces of glass that dug into his knees. He bent down and patted the shards out of the fabric of the pants. "Did they get to your skin?", he asked.
Shiey shook his head.
Poison wanted to push but Shiey wouldn't admit to anything — he knew that — and there were more pressing matters at hand. The cuts in his palms were bleeding. They didn't look too deep, not dangerously anyway, but the hands were a particularly painful spot and this wasn't just a paper cut either. Poison looked up at Shiey again, trying to search for any indicator of pain on his features.
Shiey averted his eyes instead. "I am so sorry", he whispered, this time a little stronger but his voice was so flat, so defeated. All the personality was gone. Poison flinched a little as he heard it.
"Don't worry about it", he said and pulled Shiey into a tight embrace, "I promise, I'm not mad at you. I don't care about the glass."
Shiey felt stiff beneath his hands. He visibly hesitated to reciprocate the hug but as Poison didn't let go of him, Shiey slung his arms around Poison too, careful not to touch him with his bloodied hands. He pulled Poison in, tight against him, and buried his face in Poison's neck.
They stood like that for a while. Just holding each other. Poison could feel him shiver from time to time as his rigid form slowly relaxed into Poison's touch. He knew Shiey needed the physical touch more than anything right now. He never let on about it, but physical touch was one of his love languages and Poison knew. He just had to comfort him now in a way words couldn't. So he waited. Poison wouldn't let go first even if they stood for an hour.
He felt Shiey shudder again as he relaxed into the embrace. Then his arms loosened and he slowly pulled his head back.
"Thank you", Shiey said, his voice a little rough but he tried to smile.
It didn't quite reach his eyes. Shiey could express everything with his eyes alone — and now they betrayed him, Poison noticed. He put on a gentle smile. "Let's get your hands washed and wrapped up, yeah?"
Shiey nodded and turned slowly towards the bathroom where there was a sink without shattered glass all over the floor. Poison placed a hand on Shiey's lower back to steady him and guide him to the bathroom. He didn't want to fully let go of his boyfriend yet. The contact was calming for both of them, he knew it instinctively.
They arrived in front of the sink where Poison opened the tap and let lukewarm water run out with low pressure. After feeling the temperature with his own fingers he slowly guided Shiey's hands by the wrists into the stream of water. It ran over Shiey's hands and washed away the glass that Poison couldn't pick up. The water that hit the white sink was tinted red. Not overly, but noticeable enough.
It was surprising how compliant his boyfriend was. Not resisting any of the movements Poison directed at all, it didn't seem like him. Normally he'd never let himself be guided — especially not in such minuscule things. It was concerning.
Together they washed away the tiny splinters of glass. At first Poison carefully brushed his fingers over Shiey's hand to remove any pieces — the light touch gave both of them that comfortable tingly feeling — but as time went on Shiey regained more and more of his autonomy and finally he pushed the mixer tap closed with the back of his hand. He was still moving slow and didn't speak. Neither of them spoke. Only the water rushing down the drain and the occasional drop hitting the sink made a sound.
Poison reached for a dark towel — the softest he had — and carefully patted down Shiey's hands. First the back, where there were no cuts, then he continued to the palms. Each dab was more careful than the last one as he approached the biggest cut right in the middle.
Poison glanced up as he did. Shiey's face was wrinkled up in discomfort but he didn't pull or flinch away. He must have been in pain.
"Sorry", Poison said quietly with an apologetic smile but continued.
Silence followed, now only broken up by the dripping of the tab. It had been faulty for ages.
"It's okay", Shiey said low and quiet. His voice tense regardless. "You don't hurt me."
Poison nodded but continued just as careful anyway, if not more.
When his hands were dry Poison pulled a first aid kit out of a drawer.
"Don't need that", Shiey protested. There wasn't much fight in it, but he tried.
He was becoming more lively, Poison noticed gladly. A sense of relief spread through him but he shook his head anyway. "Let's get it bandaged and it'll stay clean", he said, already pulling the zipper open.
A cut on Shiey's left hand was the deepest and too big for any band aid he had, so Poison found a gauze bandage and started to wrap it up carefully. He didn't really know what he was doing or if he was doing the right thing but this had to be covered, so he secured the gauze around his wrist anyway.
The other hand only needed a few band aids to keep the cuts clean and closed.
Shiey let him do all of it patiently.
"Is that alright?", Poison asked once he was done, looking up at Shiey.
His expression was neutral, tired at most. Whether that was a panic attack or not, Poison didn't know, but it must have been exhausting. His lips were dry and his eyes a little red. They looked puffy as if he had cried more than just one tear.
Shiey still looked down at his hands, not meeting Poison's eyes. He stretched and curled his fingers, until he winced in pain, before he nodded. "I'm really sorry about all of that, I'll clean it up", Shiey said, still far too apologetic, finally looking up, past Poison.
"No." Poison shook his head and stepped into Shiey's view, "I'll do it. What you'll do is stop worrying about it."
Shiey didn't quite seem to take it yet but he focused his eyes on Poison.
"For me, okay?", Poison continued as their eyes locked, "I don't care about that damn glass. No one cares. I just want you to be alright."
Shiey's expression didn't change but one more tear escaped from between his eyelashes.
Poison caught it half way down his cheek and wiped it away. Then he leaned in for a kiss, just a soft peck on the lips, nothing more.
"I love you", he said as he pulled back.
"I love you too", Shiey returned softly.
They stood there for a moment until Shiey asked, "Can we go to the living room? Watch something?"
Poison nodded almost instantly.
They huddled together on the couch and Poison powered on the TV, already opening Youtube to find something to watch, to distract Shiey. His boyfriend didn't only love to explore urban structures but also liked to watch other people do it, so he landed on a video of a group exploring a bunker and hit play.
"Thank you", Shiey said suddenly, "Thank you for everything."
He pressed a kiss onto Poison's cheek and got comfortable in the blanket that was thrown aimlessly over the armrest of the couch just minutes before.
Poison watched as Shiey rested his head on Poison's shoulder.
there's something about him. maybe the way he sees the tallest, dangerous, flimsiest, most decrepit structure and he runs over to it at full speed because he's excited to climb it and stand on the edge and challenge god directly
he has no fear
dislikes people
only feels alive when he's out in the world with no bed to call his own
Hey so I keep trying to comment on ao3 but it always flags me as a bot 💀 wanted to say love your work and very much appreciate you hard carrying this tiny fandom. Waiting game was 🌷 chefs kiss, I particularly enjoyed the inner monologues, and been loving every subsequent addition to the series. Much love, take care ❤
Oh that's so annoying. I've heard about it before but being flagged as a bot never happened to me. If ao3 isn't letting you, feel free to just do an ask as often as you feel like it, or comment over here. I can reply through these just as well as I can on ao3, so it doesn't matter to me.
I would love to continue to read your thoughts on it all though. I'm glad you liked what I have posted so far. I'll go right back to editing the next one. Thank you for the boost in motivation!
Note: I quite like this one. Let me know what you think. I love all kinds of comments. If you have any feedback or criticism I'm here for it.
Ao3 Link!
It was one of the rare times that Shiey walked home. Home? Back to his flat. The small place he had, just for the address and to keep his things in a dry place. A bedroom with a kitchen unit on the opposite wall and a tiny bathroom without a window but a ventilation unit that was so loud it could drown out his music. All of that situated on the highest floor of a concrete block building. The only great thing about it was that it had access to the roof.
He stopped at the entrance, let his backpack slip off his back and dug through it in search of his keys. He found them in a small pocket on the inside where they must have sat for a month. The metal felt strange in his hands.
He unlocked the door and stepped inside, pulling it shut with a loud click. His gaze flickered to the old, creaky elevator but his legs carried him to the stairs. Taking two steps at a time, he made his way upwards to the door that he recognised as his — just because it wasn't decorated in any way. The others were personalised by people he didn't know. His door fit the second, smaller key in his hand.
Unlocking it took a more forceful twist of the key and handle but it clicked open. Under his hands paint chipped off it's surface but Shiey ignored it — he was too tired to care and his bed was so close. He just wanted to lay down and close his eyes. He pushed against the cold wood, but was met with light resistance. Following the swing of the door he saw a pair of shoes being pushed to the side. They weren't his own shoes. His pairs were neatly placed along the wall, just like everything he owned, they had their spot to keep the crammed space organised. His were bigger than these ones too. Poison? Hope flickered up in him.
But Poison was supposed to be in Belgium, not Lithuania.
He deflated in a quiet yawn then slipped past the half open door, his backpack catching on the door handle for a moment. The air was fresh instead of the stale smell he expected after a month of absence. His eyes darted to the window. Open. Did he forget to close it? There was no way. He double checked everything before leaving every single time and the PC with his music editing software and hard drives was too close to the window to leave it open unattended. But he had been in a rush that day. Maybe he did?
His bed looked normal, the beige door to his bathroom on the left was closed but he heard quiet tapping noises from around the corner to the left. Just in that moment he was sure he recognised the shoes as Poison's. He took another step forward and looked around the corner.
Poison. It was really him. Knife in hand, he chopped vegetables on a worn down wooden cutting board. He had his over-ear headphones on. They pressed his messy hair flat on top of his head and he didn't seem to notice Shiey as he was listening to music — probably something atmospheric. Not quite Shiey's own taste but both of them enjoyed indie music so it was easy to find something when they listened together. He wore a sweater that was looking much too big and Shiey instantly recognised it as one of his own. He had given it to Poison the last time they met. Seeing him wear it brought a smile to his face.
Shiey gently pushed the door closed with the tip of his foot, then sat his backpack down next do it. His shoulders could finally relax again though the spots the straps had been digging into continued to hurt. Subconsciously he rubbed over the offending places trying to warm them up while he kicked his shoes off and pushed them to sit parallel next to the backpack.
He missed Poison. They had only been in a relationship with one another since their last adventure. It had been a busy past month for both of them, so they hadn't been able to meet up — and Poison was still supposed to be on a train ride with an open end, far away in Belgium.
But here he was. And Shiey watched how Poison pushed the vegetables into a pot that was set on the stove. It was a new sight. Poison had never been to his flat before. He had never seen Poison's flat, not even pictures, and now it felt almost domestic, in a strange way. Poison didn't even know he was there yet — and still it felt so right. As if he was supposed to be here.
The muscles in his face started to hurt from the tension. Shiey relaxed them, pulling open his mouth to stretch them back into a normal position but he instantly started to smile again — like an idiot, he thought. Smiling for no reason was strange. He was being strange. He should stop. He shook his head.
He knew he was in love but it was eerie how strongly he felt it. Like a pull that wanted him to reach out to Poison, to wrap his arms around him and never let go again.
He couldn't bear his own thoughts anymore, didn't want to think about how he was acting. How ever much he liked the view, he had to make himself known.
With light steps he snuck up behind Poison who was nodding along to the song that he was listening to, then reached out to tap his shoulder.
Startled, Poison dropped the knife and whipped around as he pushed the headphones off his head. They fell around his neck and rested on his shoulders. Shiey watched him cycle through the scare, then annoyance and finally his features softened in happiness as he realised it was Shiey in front of him. He loved to see Poison happy.
Shiey was pulled into a hug so tight he could hardly breathe. He embraced Poison, felt his hands brush over the soft sweater his partner wore, while Poison dug his hands into Shiey's t-shirt. The soft brown hair tickled Shiey's face but he pressed his cheek into the top of Poison's head anyway.
The warmth that radiated from his body through the fabrics felt like a blessing. He had been alone for all of the past month. He wasn't even sure when he got this much physical contact the last time.
Poison's grip on him slowly loosened as he relaxed into his chest. Shiey could feel the tension fall from his shoulders, then from his back. He felt Poison's chest expand below his hands as he breathed. Shiey inhaled the never changing smell of Poison's shampoo and felt himself relax. It was some lemon-like scent that he would recognise anywhere in the world. Poison's hair was a little damp, he must have just showered. The smell was freshly deposited, strong and reminded him of all the moments he was close to Poison. His favourite place in the world was wherever Poison was.
"I missed you", Poison mumbled into his shirt.
Shiey pressed a kiss onto Poison's hair. "I missed you too", he said and pulled Poison against himself firmly one more time.
Poison finally unclasped his hands and hesitantly released Shiey. A small smile played on his lips as he pulled back. "I thought I'd surprise you, but I guess you won this one", he commented.
Shiey smirked. "Your shoes surprised me. I didn't expect you here", he said, "but I am so glad you are. Aren't you supposed to be on a train somewhere in Belgium?" He reached for Poison's hand and held it in his own.
Poison nodded. "I was, but I wanted to see you again... and you gave me a key." His eyes almost lit up thinking about that moment.
Shiey had, very unceremoniously, handed him a pair of two keys. If you ever want to come over, he had said when Poison asked and received a kiss in return.
Shiey huffed out a laugh. "I am glad I did that, must have been a really good choice if I get to have you appear at random."
"Where have you been on the-"
"It's boiling over!", Shiey interrupted Poison and pointed at the pot on the stove. Red, thick sauce was bubbling up and pressing past the lid. It was spreading over the entire surface around the pot.
Poison cursed and yanked the pot away, onto a cold spot, pulled the lid off and frowned at the sauce.
Shiey already reached for a towel to wipe off the spilled liquid. The hot sauce burned his fingers and he drew in a sharp breath. Poison didn't seem to notice yet, so he held both his hand and the towel under cold water, then cleaned the rest. He had to wash the towel anyway. It couldn't have wiped up all of it in one go.
"I'm so sorry", Poison said, apologetically. He lifted the pot so Shiey could wipe the stove below it and get the bottom of the pot cleaned as well. Then he placed it back down on the heat.
He reached for the wooden spoon he used to stir it but he was stopped by burnt pieces that adhered to the bottom where the most heat had been. Poison cursed quietly as he scraped the layer off and scooped what burnt pieces he could get into the bin.
"I'm sorry", he repeated and set the heat to a smaller setting. "I completely forgot about it", he said, brows still furrowed. He stood half turned away from Shiey as if he was embarrassed for letting a sauce boil over.
"Don't worry about it", Shiey said gently and wrapped his arms back around Poison, from the side this time. His feet complained that he was still standing instead of sitting down finally but he didn't want to give in yet. He could just about place his chin on Poison's head, even if the smaller man stood tall. It was the absolute perfect height. He had told Poison numerous times but he'd always get defensive, say he wasn't short and that Shiey was just unreasonably tall.
A low chuckle escaped him at the thought.
"Are you laughing at me?", Poison asked. He acted offended but his tone was too playful and betrayed him.
"No", Shiey defended, surpressing a yawn, "I just thought about something — but I don't think you want to hear it." Now he would definitely want to.
"What is it?", Poison asked instantly, fulfilling the prediction.
"That you have the perfect height to be my chin rest", Shiey said and demonstratively patted his hair.
Poison sighed defeated, but unsuccessfully tried to suppress a smirk. "Oh shut up."
"That's what I thought", Shiey grinned and pulled Poison tighter. "What were you making before I — Oh so rudely — distracted you?", he asked with half closing eyelids.
Poison huffed out a laugh, "I don't really know." He kept staring at the dish. "I am trying to figure out whatever it was that grandma made all the time. She never told me but it was amazing and I need it again."
"That's... promising", Shiey laughed, "Do I get to try?"
"I hope I have enough for two. I didn't expect you until tomorrow at earliest."
Shiey glanced over at the food. "I can have something else", he suggested but Poison waved his hand dismissively.
"I'll share if you get two plates and cutlery — If you even have that", Poison challenged, then pulled open a kitchen drawer that was completely empty — safe for three grains of rice that must have been in there long before Shiey had moved in. He had never bothered filling the kitchen with anything that wasn't absolutely necessary but now, that he saw Poison cooking in it, he thought he might change that. He could try getting into cooking himself. At some point maybe, when he was in one place more often
Shiey laughed before he could stop himself. "I think they might be over here", he said, eyed another drawer and reluctantly let go of Poison to pull it open. Nothing.
"Well?" Poison unsuccessfully fought back a laugh as he stirred again.
"There are more drawers", Shiey said and found two forks and two spoons in the next one. He held them up triumphantly.
Poison acted impressed and clapped his hands together. The tips of his fingers hitting the palm of his hand. Shiey couldn't help but look at him. He loved to see the bright eyes filled with joy. He loved to see the relaxed posture on Poison and he loved his smile even more. It could make everything okay if Poison just smiled at him.
Poison didn't have to know that Shiey knew where the cutlery was. Poison just needed to be happy and everything would be alright.
He pulled out the plates with less of a show and set them on the small desk. One of them could sit at the desk, the other on the bed and they could still be close enough to hug.
His feet begged him for a break so much he finally gave in and sat down on the chair for a moment where he pulled his feet up. He sighed in relief as the pressure and the pain finally subsided. He'd been on his feet all day after a very short night. Leaning back, the one window his flat had, came into view again. Grey sky and grey buildings with tile roofing collided on the other side. A breeze that passed between this building and the next forced a stream of cool air inside and he remembered that it was open when he arrived. There was no way he'd risk his PC getting wet — the rain loved to hit this window. But he had left in a rush that day. Did he forget?
He felt the hard drives and the Pc under the desk, they were dry. He'd have to move the footage he filmed on this trip onto his hard drives, then edit it. I would be so much work again. Videos were fun to make but sometimes he just wanted to hide away and produce music for months without having to think of Youtube or Patreon or anything else.
Movement outside caught his eye, a dove flew past the window. They had nests on the roof. He had seen them every time he went up there.
"Did you open the window?", he finally asked, still looking up at the dirty glass. Trails of raindrops running down were visible even against the grey sky.
"Yes, I hope you don't mind, the air was horrible in here", Poison replied.
"Always is", Shiey shrugged. Stale air was the only way he knew this place. It was the first time he came back to a flat that didn't feel like it wanted him to leave again. The smell of the food was inviting even.
Sighing he tore his gaze away from the window. The last train he surfed had a much better view.
He got back up again, his feet complained but he decided that they had enough rest now. He reached for a cupboard, to find two glasses. "Careful", he said as he opened the upper door close to Poison. He held his hand over the corner of the wood so Poison couldn't hit his head too hard if he moved unexpectedly.
Having to walk around Poison again to fill the glasses with water, he let a hand wander over Poison's upper back. The tiny kitchen was enough of an excuse to touch him — even though he didn't need an excuse anymore. He needed one when they were friends, but now? They were together, in an exclusive relationship. Poison was his to touch. His boyfriend. He felt almost crazy for thinking that, but it was true.
He had said it out loud once before, when Poison asked for them to be in a relationship. It still felt so surreal. His boyfriend. He wanted to test the words on his tongue again but Poison would hear him. Shiey couldn't wrap his head around it. Poison was his to touch.
Realising that, he sat the glasses down and stood behind Poison again. He placed his head on Poison's shoulder, so their cheeks brushed up against each other, then wrapped his arms around him. Their bodies pressed flush together. "That smells amazing. You're a good cook if you have actual ingredients, huh?", he teased quietly. Poison had to have heard the smirk in his voice as he chuckled in response.
The muscles in his cheeks started to hurt again. Fucking idiot, couldn't even stop smiling. Having his boyfriend all for himself and in his flat was too good to be true, yet Poison's back pressed against his chest in this very moment.
He felt Poison lean into him. "I'm trying", he said.
"I think you're doing amazing", Shiey replied, "It smells amazing". He could recognise tomato, pepper and something like basil in the smell that filled his flat. It actually felt a little like home today. Shiey craned his neck to feather a kiss onto Poison's cheek, then another onto his neck.
"Thank you", Poison said, his voice just above a whisper. His cheeks grew a little warmer and tinted pink. "I think it's ready."
Shiey let go of Poison again and picked up a plate. Using a big spoon he had fished out of another drawer, Poison filled the plate with about half of the sauce from the pot. Shiey expected some sort of carbs to go with it but it seemed to be a soup. His stomach growled quietly. He handed Poison the second plate after placing the first one on the desk.
Both plates looked only about half filled.
Shiey's eyes darted to the cabinet that always had a few cans for emergency use — if he didn't forget to stock up that was.
"Hmm", Poison hummed dissatisfied. Shiey looked back at him as he looked at the plates. His forehead wrinkled up in thought until he had an idea. Then he started to rummage through the bag that still held some of the groceries he had brought back. Poison pulled out a bag of sliced bread and plunged two pieces into the pot. He let them soak in the soup that was still there. "For later. Let's try it", he said and gestured for Shiey to sit on the chair which he gladly did. His feet and his back thanked him as he relaxed into the thin cushion.
Poison looped around Shiey — once again trailing his hand across Shiey's broad shoulders, he drew a warm shudder from Shiey who loved the contact. Poison sat down on the bed, leaned forward and started to smell the soup, then tried just the tip of a spoon full.
Shiey did the same. It tasted good, fresh and full of flavour. Now it only had to be whatever Poison's grandma had made. "What do you think?", he asked, "Is it like your grandma's?"
Poison shrugged. "Not really. But closer than last time", he said and took another spoon full.
Poison had never mentioned his grandma a lot, only that he connected certain things to her, foods, smells and boardgames. It always made him smile when he mentioned her.
"I like it. I think it tastes great", Shiey said. The steam carried the smell right into his nose. It made his mouth water and his stomach growl. Only now he realised how hungry he actually was. His lunch had been luke-warm instant coffee from a gas station. "You should cook like this when we are on a journey." He hadn't had a properly home cooked meal in a month, maybe more. He hadn't realised how much he missed it. This tasted like heaven — In reality probably more like a make shift Italian food, but right now, to Shiey, it was heaven.
"That would be pretty hard", Poison said, smile clearly audible.
They finished the soup and the bread soaked in it too. In the end it was enough for both of them.
Shiey complimented Poison's cooking at least twice more while they ate, managing to make him blush a second time. A clear win for Shiey.
"If you wash, I'll dry the dishes", Poison suggested after they ate. He pulled one eyebrow up in question.
Shiey made a face as if he thought about it, then nodded. He never planned to disagree. It wasn't much anyway and they got done it in a few minutes.
Shiey put the last plate back into it's spot while Poison sat back on the bed. He let himself fall backwards onto the mattress which creaked and groaned under his weight.
"Come here", Poison said and spread his arms lazily. Shiey hesitated for a second but climbed onto the bed. The mattress commented his every movement with a creak as he shifted to lay next to Poison, his arm thrown over Poison's torso and one leg draped over Poison's.
He was still a bit tense, they didn't get to cuddle like this before. Everything felt so new still. It was new.
Poison began to absentmindedly stroke over Shiey's back with the light touch of his hand. Goosebumps spread from there across his body but it finally let him relax.
Shiey let out a sigh as he got comfortable, his head against Poison's shoulder. He really started to feel how tired he was. He didn't get much sleep on the last journey. And the comforting feeling of Poison's steady breath and his warm body beneath him let him drift off to sleep so easily.
Wanting to write something but being so indecisive that I can only look at the list of ideas I have and stress about it. Then add another idea to the list.
Omg you got a tumblr! Hi! And you published two new fics on ao3 too since i checked last! I might wait to read it because i dont wanna be influeced in my own writing and I am trying to join you in shipping them over on ao3 im just a slow writer (it is time to lock in). Anyway: THANK YOU! For planting the idea off shipping them, i somehow had not thought of that myself before i found your The waiting game
Heyyy, yess I just set one up. I was thinking about it for a while but it took even longer to work up the courage haha.
I am so excited to see more fanfics about them! When you publish please let me know, I need to see it. Take your time though. I'll wait for it. (Idk if that's too pushy but if you ever need help or feedback in any way you can absolutely dm me)
And I am just as excited for you to read the other ones that I got to post recently. I am actually happy with these two and in my opinion they are even better than The Waiting Game -- at least when it comes to the craft of writing. Please let me know what you think when you get to them. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions.
I can't even tell you how much you motivated me to keep writing for them by finding this account and following etc. (I might be working on the first multichaper fic for them. It's kinda just a oneshot that got too big though).
I feel honoured to give you the idea. They always had this friends to lovers dynamic in my mind.
Thank you! We can motivate each other to write :D Looking forward to reading yours!
When i wrote the ask I had one hour left to work at my job before 3 weeks of. Now I have come up with what I like to call the duolingo treatment of how to lock in with writing and made myself a chart to check of each day when I have written on the project. Like I already have the outline of my story I just need to actually write it. And the chart has already worked - I would not have opened the document yesterday if it wasnt for not wanting to break my streak before it had even started and I ended upp writing over 200 words.
3 weeks? that sounds amazing. I wish I had that long of a break. I hope you have an amazing time and don't stress yourself out over writing.
The duolingo treatment sounds amazing though. If that works so well for you, even better. I'd be so here for updates (to stay accountable) and snippets during the process, if you feel like it. Are there any tropes you plan to do or a word count you aim for and would like to share? If not that's totally fine, I am just far too nosey (I'm sorry).
I tend to go with monthly word goals. Otherwise I'm tempted to stop as early as I can haha. But I am putting most of my effort into an original work as of lately so I can only dedicate like 15 mins a day or so to fanfic which is a shame but oh well
Shiey Fanfics @illegal-freedom-ao3 - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
