Keep yer thoughts quiet

"All we know for sure, is all that we are fighting for" Cillian Boyd, what the eff do you want? (Ask/rp blog for Cillian Boyd from the Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness. Face claim: Aidan Turner, no gifs or pics mine. OC friendly)

[loveforaidanturner]

Aidan Turner (2/?)

[illholdemoff-blog]

[Text] Is there... someone else?

[Text] What? Course there damn well ain’t. 

[illholdemoff-blog]

Jealous messages

[MSG]: Did you have fun with you-know-who last night?

[MSG]: I guess my company doesn't interest you any more.

[MSG]: What do you see in that guy/girl?

[MSG]: (S)he's kind of hot... you think?

[MSG]: Is he bigger than me?

[MSG]: When's the wedding?

[MSG]: I heard you and ___ are an item.

[MSG]: Is there... someone else?

[MSG]: I never agreed to an open relationship!

[MSG]: Does she do that thing that I do for you?

[MSG]: I see you'll flirt with just about anyone.

[MSG]: I'm a fool for thinking I was special to you.

[MSG]: How serious is it between you two?

[MSG]: You've been spending a lot of time with ___ recently.

[MSG]: So you tell all girls/guys that, I see.

[MSG]: So that's your type, huh?

[MSG]: Who's better in bed, me or him/her?

[MSG]: I can't bear to see you with someone else.

[MSG]: You're just a slut.

[MSG]: Just curious... not like I'm jealous or anything...

[leavethehxrtbehind-deactivated2]

  And she’s crying, but he hasn’t the chance to see it before she buries her face into the crook of his neck and holding him ever so closer - ever so tighter. Perhaps this was all  just a dream, and tomorrow would consist of another hit, another bag of whatever grams she could afford to chase him away from her memories.

"You have to stay! You have to stay!” because even if it was for one night, that would be enough.

[illholdemoff-blog]

"I ain't-I ain't-" 

But the words falter and fail again leaving his throat dry. Of course he wanted to tell her that he would never leave again, that he would be here no matter what-anything. Could he though? Could he promise that? Would he be able to stay here even when-well, even what things were bad. 

He made a silent resolve and held her tighter.

"I ain't going nowhere." 

[captnjones]

                                              those hardest to love                                                    need it the most

[illholdemoff-blog]

"Ben says Cillian only fights with me all the time cuz he

cares 

about me so much but if that's true I say it;s a funny way to show it, a way that don't seem much like caring at all if you ask me."

Tumblr's first and only role play blog for Cillian Boyd from the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness

3+ years of rp experience, one of them on tumblr 

Over 3 years spent developing and writing as Cillian 

Independent and semi selective

Multi-verse and multi-ship 

OC friendly 

Mun is excited about everything 98% of the time 

|| Home || About || Verses || Rules || Ask  ||

[finnick]

[finnick]

[leavethehxrtbehind-deactivated2]

  She, surprisingly enough, caught him in her arms although the had both fallen to the floor. Ever since he’s left, she’d lost interest in almost everything. Spending more time at the club, she never went to the same bar again, and she changed her walk home so she didn’t have to pass his apartment.

Fingers sifting through his hair, she pulled him back to cup his face, kissing his hairline, his forehead, his cheek. “Shhh, it’s gonna be okay.”

[illholdemoff-blog]

Everything about her is familiar, almost painfully so. The sharp angles of her shoulders, the flush of her cheeks-her smell-oh Christ her smell. Alcohol, and perfume and smoke and something her-he tries to draw it in with every breath, wills his mind not to become used to it but of course it does, and them smell is gone. 

For a moment he just sits and lets her kiss him, drawing from that what comfort he can, before leaning his head against hers, his breathing slowing ever so slightly as he struggled for more words, no matter how useless they might be.

"Meg-I'm sorry-oh Christ- I'm sorry."

[illholdemoff-blog]

"So you disappear off the face of the earth and then you come back and just expect to pick up exactly where we left off?

"No-no-course not-kinda-look I ain’t-"

The words faltered before failing all together. 

What could he say? What could he possibly say to make this right? He’s shaved now, let her trim his hair in frosty silence, he almost looks like himself again. God, though, so much has changed, yet at the same time nothing has.

"I’m sorry."

[illholdemoff-blog]

theinfxmousbxthingbeauty

He has no right to be here. He knows that. You do not just disappear for months-you don't smash your phone-or make your self invisible. You especially do not turn up on their doorstep with longer hair and a beard. He has no right. But he's hsre. "Meg"

And all she can do is stand there with the chain on the door, staring through the gap it allowed at a man she once knew. People left; they always left, she merely accepted it now. Perhaps there was a time she would have been angry, but it wasn’t anger now, it was almost numbness.

So she took the chain off the door and she allowed herself to slip out, not saying anything; instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close.

That was all the permission he needed. He fell forwards, almost crumbling into her embrace. For a tall man it is surprising how small he can become, how every part of him seems to wilt, parts of him seemingly vanishing all together as months of loneliness, of despair, of all of the worst parts of him, finally take their tole. 

It is a moment before he can even speak and when he does his voice is gruff and scratches at his throat; he has not used it enough recently. 

"Meg-oh Christ Meg-Jesus H Christ-Meg-"

[wundgeheiltdeactivated111]

I want to make love, but my hair smells of war and running and running.

 - Warsan Shire, Conversations about home (at the Deportation Centre)

[rpmememaker]

Long Time Gone Sentence Memes

"I thought you were dead."

"So what’ve you been doing since you left?"

"Did you even think about calling?"

"But I went to your funeral!"

"What happened to you?"

"I’ve thought about you every day since."

"So I left, what’s the big deal?"

"I tried to call you."

"Did you ever get that postcard I sent?"

"Have you told anyone?"

"So you disappear off the face of the earth and then you come back and just expect to pick up exactly where we left off?"

"I came back for you."

"Did it ever occur to you that I might’ve moved on?"

"Well maybe I don’t want to see you again."

"I thought I’d never see you again."

"I left you a billion voicemails."

"Don’t ever do that again."

[psych-facts]

I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.

— Haruki Murakami (via psych-facts)

[outdoor-anarchy]

I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.

Joshua Graham (via sunshine-and-liberty)

[illholdemoff-blog]

"Cillian?" Todd says, looking at him like he was looking at a ghost. "Yer here?"

"Tod."

Todd’s alive-oh Jesus H Christ he’s alive 

Todd, Haven, Ben, Todd, Alive, Alive, Alive, Yer Alive, Todd, yer alive, Todd, Ben, Todd 

It took Cillian months to get to Haven, he’d been burnt up badly at the farm and he sure as hell thought he was dead, right then, when the sky had gone all black-when the last thing he saw was the Mayor looking down at him- right then he thought he was dead. 

Then he woke up and he was in so much pain he thought he might die again but he didn’t-he didn’t and he took a few days (too long, he took too long) to get his strength back before he followed the river the same way Todd and Manchee (and Ben, please Ben, please) must have gone. 

He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the bodies he saw on the way. 

But here’s Todd and he’s alive and he looked different but it was Todd, Christ awmighty it was Todd and he could hardly breathe he was so happy and relieved and oh Christ Todd-

"I’m here."

[illholdemoff-blog]

((*Emerges from the depths with a mountain of Cillian feels*))