independent multimuse nsfw / usfw writing blog. prefers plotted connections. 21+ to interact ! rules. muses. wanted opps. wanted plots.
Jules of Nature
Keni
Misplaced Lens Cap

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Sade Olutola
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
RMH
Three Goblin Art
Show & Tell

Andulka
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@illicitdream
independent multimuse nsfw / usfw writing blog. prefers plotted connections. 21+ to interact ! rules. muses. wanted opps. wanted plots.
"you want me to lie to save your ego? hm... i don't know, al. i value relationships built on honesty and all of that good stuff — don't worry, though. i'll be gentle with any critiques." and likely wouldn't offer them anyway — would be more than happy with anything that he made for them even if it ended up being something pulled from a freezer or a salad that involved no cooking. it was the thought that counted. flossie did genuinely wonder if their friends were clued in on what was going on right in front of them. she'd always known what she felt for him was deeper than any of the other friendships that she had and she had wondered if there was something more to it. the way that they felt relief to hear he'd split from his last girlfriend was something that had initially made her feel awful. then he'd suggested getting over it in a way that she found herself eager to provide and it all clicked into place. now here they were, being drawn under the warm wash of a shower with him. the heat of the kiss was something that they enjoyed. the way he handled her so delicately, with a sort of reverence, but also like he couldn't get enough. they felt the same way about him but feeling that desire from someone was something new. it made her pour her all into the kiss. "it might be... we'd be one of those super obnoxious couples who don't know where to cool it with the pda if that was the case... but, i don't know. maybe just once it wouldn't hurt. so they get the message," she shrugged, staying mostly still to let him clean her off. "eh — we're like, pretty hot together i imagine. can't blame them for looking." a sigh slipped from their lips at how nice it felt to be underneath his hands in what felt like a more intimate gesture than when he'd literally been inside of her. it was one thing to roll around in the sheets with someone but they were now exposed to one another in all sorts of ways as he dragged the cloth over her skin. "when should we have our little date, then? if you're going to cook, do you want longer to prepare? already have something in mind to make or are you going to have to do some sort of frantic googling?" tilted their head slightly to peer at him over their shoulder, "i'm not hard to please, you know. you already seem to have quite a handle on what i like." likely from what he knew about her from their years of friendship, combined with well-tuned intuition.
" i wouldn't say lie, necessarily. maybe just . . . you know, tastefully misdirect the truth just a little bit. " his head tilted, that same boyish smile still plastered on his face. it felt like he hadn't stopped smiling for an hour, but he had no plans on stopping any time soon. there was so much for him to be happy about, so many new experiences on the horizon that now he couldn't imagine seeing without his best friend at his side. their kiss, probably enhanced by the warm sensation of the water pouring onto them, felt different too. they'd explored just about every avenue of intimacy and passion together now, but that had all been confined to the bed, a natural place for exploration like that. standing in their shower with them, this felt like something approaching casual, domestic intimacy. like they'd been together for a decade, which they had, but not in this context. allen cradled them in his arms protectively, like he couldn't stand for them to be even an inch away from him but not so tight that they'd slip and pull him down with them. the longer he felt them pressed so close, the more natural it started to feel, and the more he cursed himself for not having had the courage to say something earlier. " i for one am totally okay being the annoying pda couple," he said, paying careful attention to every tract of their skin. it could so easily turn sexual: he could roll his hand between their legs, exploit how sensitive they'd become to his touch, but instead he commits to coating her with soap and water. chin rested against her left shoulder, occasionally pressing a kiss down into the skin, he can still smell himself on her breath either way. " they can look the other way if they want. if i'm inspired to kiss you i'm going to. which i probably will often, so, just warning you. " when flossie's body had been cleaned, allen moved on to massaging shampoo into their hair. " can't blame them for looking either, guess we do kind of invite the attention. " he shrugged, fingertips carefully rolling against their scalp. " i don't really mind if strangers stare, but them ? " directing the water against them, and once the shampoo had been fully washed out, he leaned forward to kiss her cheek, a signal that he'd finished. " oh, since you don't really mind i was probably just going to make some box mac n' cheese. maybe add some siracha, spice it up or something. " pausing again, he couldn't help but gawk at them a little when they looked over her shoulder at him. he felt compelled to drift forward, kissing their forehead before he could turn around, and they could return the favor. " i don't think i'll need that long, just need to hit the grocery store. i'll never turn down hanging out here, but maybe . . . a couple days? just so we can both . . . recover a little bit. " body leaned back into their hands, eyes closed, immediately trusting. " we both drained each other pretty good already. it'd be a little anticlimactic if we were both still too sensitive on our first real date. "
" embarrass ? be for real right now , allen . " might be on talking terms , but he doesn't quite know her , does he ? quinn isn't judgmental — would be far too hypocritical a move if she was . after all , she's become a total fuck up as of late . " don't tell me you're going to have trouble looking me in the eyes , cause that'd be really fucking stupid . " shakes her head , playful roll of her eyes following suit . won't stop teasing until he tells her to fuck off . she'd like to see that. " tempting . if i had the money to throw around , i would . " not like she doesn't have a number of volunteers on her phone's contact list , but none of them happen to be so . . . well endowed . " you can't ? " call quinn invasive , but she could think of a lot of ways he might be able to get rid of his problem . " oh , why not ? you clearly don't have a problem showering in public . by all means , don't let me put a stop to your fun . " chuckles , playful glint in her eyes . quinn just says things for the hell of it half the time . the other half ? well , she has a thing for placing herself in peculiar situations . and the girl is reminded of exactly why she does it when he . . . flirts ? wouldn't know what to call it , but it certainly piques her interest . " i could squeeze you in . but , i don't know . i go pretty hardcore when it comes to cardio . i don't know if you could handle me . " licks her lips, gaze flickering down his form again , lingering on the bulge underneath his towel . " probably means i should get to it , then . " tugs at her hair tie , golden tresses messily falling over her shoulders and down her back . quinn turns around , working her sports bra up over her head . call it settling the score . if he's going to make such a blatant sexual innuendo while completely bare under that towel , two could play at that game . " figured you'd feel a little less awkward if you saw some of me too . " looks over her shoulder , lips twisting to a smile . " hope you don't mind . we might as well get used to it if we're going to start working out together . "
he's not entirely sure how much more real he can be . but she expects him to act like he's done this before , so he does , shrugging his shoulders . " god now , doesn't make this any less weird on my part . " how weird should he consider it , actually ? now that he thinks about it , it isn't like quinn's shuffled back outside , like she very easily could have any number of times by now . instead she's manufactured a way to stay , which only leaves him to believe something more complex is at work here . " yeah , showering in public's one thing . i've already come to terms with you seeing me , i think that requires a different level of trust . " something he's said provoked her , though he did really mean it in the way he said it . something he's either too naive or too trusting to fully realize , at least until it hits him right in the face in the form of her starting to peel away whatever she's wearing . and when she licks her lips . maybe he truly was always this stupid when it came to women . " are we talking about the same thing ? " the answer is no , but that's not stopping quinn , and the more he thinks about it the more he realizes she's reciprocating . his brain briefly malfunctions , not really sure what to do . it's true , maybe it was just evening the score given what she'd already seen , but the very idea stuns him . quickly , he settles the chaos in his mind to walk over with her . think of something , you moron . " it's usually pretty empty around this time , but still , wouldn't want someone you don't know walking in on you . " innuendo , maybe , a little turn of what she'd done to him . so he walked past her toward the shower . " it'd only be fair if i stood nearby to make sure nobody saw you , right ? "
living out their twilight years together doesn’t sound like the worst thing to flossie. this isn’t her getting overly romantic or being unrealistic. they’ve always pictured their life with allen in it in some capacity. it’s nice that the chance of him being their romantic partner, their person, is now an option. it feels deeper but somehow more assured since there’s no one to get in between them. no stupid, no good girlfriends for her to compete with. just her and allen figuring things out in whatever way made sense to them both. which, might've very well been a calm, relaxed evening for the both of them. a small smile formed on her lips as he rattled off his suggestion for a date evening for the both of them. "you're no gordon ramsay, huh? but my standards for food are just so high..." her musing is only teasing, of course. flossie had never really worked out how to cook particularly well herself. had their mother to do it for long enough before she was unable to and then had muddled their way through making enough to survive — tended to opt for convenience over taste these days. "what a gentleman," they cooed, nosing at his jaw. she hadn't considered that he might not fit in her tub, forgetting sometime just how long and limb-y he is. it was easier to remember when he manoeuvred them both with relative ease, though his bambi legs did make her laugh. "hey, you can't blame me for that..." they trilled, amusement rather obvious. she leaned against the countertop while the water warmed, shoulders lifting in a shrug. "you think it'll be that much of a surprise?" maybe their revelation of feelings was surprising to the pair of them but something in flossie felt as though their friends wouldn't find it so odd. it was funny how people on the outside sometimes saw things clearer than those actually involved. "i was thinking more like we just kiss one day, totally off the cuff and make no big deal out of it." didn't want to be one of those aggressive with PDA couples but the thought of their friend's faces did tickle her quite a bit. "i can just come up like this..." she moved closer, leaning up and wrapping her arms around his neck, "and plant one on you." which, of course, they demonstrated by pecking his lips.
allen wouldn't consider himself relationship inept, just inexperienced. strange that flossie was the same way. sure, she had much more experience than him in other ways, but so much of this would truly be just the two of them figuring this out together, just the two of them. the thought terrified him, but he knew deep down that it meant whatever came from it would be far more authentic than anything else he could ever find anywhere else. " guess i'll just have to practice then, won't i ? " he takes the teasing in stride, the smile never leaving his face. " last thing on earth i'd want to do is disappoint you. " yes, he knew it was mostly a joke. still, when he looked into their eyes, his promise became real. " you'll have to promise to tell me it tastes good even if it doesn't though. " leading the two of them into their bathroom, one he'd been in a few times but never for what he was about to do, he carefully opened the curtains to begin the process of getting the water nice and warm for the two of them. " thought that counts, right ? even if it's simple. " he's just now realizing that he would walk to the ends of the earth for them: and yes, he probably would've done that anyway, but now there's so much more on the line than just a friend. listening to flossie opine on how much of a shock it would really be to the rest of their friends makes him laugh from his half bent over position in front of her shower, tweaking with the knobs to make sure it wasn't too cold, but not too hot either. " good point, " he said, standing upright to look over his shoulder. " chances are they probably knew before we did. " if that was the case, he would have a few things to say in the group chat. namely why they didn't point it out for him beforehand, why they just watched him flounder when he could've had this all along. standing upright when flossie approached, his smile only grew when they casually wrapped their arms around his neck. his arms instinctively curled around them, hand on her back, and her hip. " i don't know, " he responded, slowly starting to pull them into the warm shower with him, curtain carefully closed as the water started to drop over the two of them. " you do that and i don't think i could resist the urge to do this. " the added sensation of the water falling atop them only added to his urgency as he kissed them again, but deeper, both arms constricting to bring them as close to his body as possible. eventually one of his hands found their jawline, little gasps of a moan leaking out when he felt their tongue against his again. eventually he pulled away, punctuated by a kiss to their forehead, so he could grab the soap. " might be a little offputting, right ? " directing flossie to turn around, allen carefully began to wipe off their back, their ribcage, under their arms. " at least i hope it's a little offputting. it'd be weird if they were into watching us do that. "
now that the sticky sheen of exertion was easing, the touch was nice. being pressed against him everywhere that she could possibly be felt right for flossie. they didn’t know how the pair of them had gone so long surviving off of friendly hugs or leaning in to one another. now she knew what it felt like to be touched by him everywhere, would be able to feel the warmth of his skin long after they untangled themselves from one another. “infectious? oh gross, i probably have it now,” she feigned a whine, though it hardly had any holding with how she encouraged him to nuzzle in closer. a soft hum fell from their lips as they contemplated his words, slow smile forming. “yeah — i can see you being into that.” though, she was now aware his perhaps otherwise rather meek personality didn’t translate everywhere. despite initial uncertainties, he’d certainly seemed confident handling them if you asked flossie. maybe it was instinctual to take what he needed but she had no issues with it. was always happy to be guided, urged, put exactly where her partner wanted her to be. the trust aspect helped. they knew that they could trust allen with anything before they’d taken this step together and now the trust could only grow. she hummed softly at his suggestions, quite happy to let him rattle off whatever he was thinking. after settling on top of him, they let their hands wiggle in between his body and the mattress underneath it so that they could hold him at least a bit. “would you like to do that instead, then?” tilted her head to rest her cheek on his chest, picking the side where she could surely hear the sound of his heart beneath the surface. it was so comforting. it was so sure that she couldn’t doubt for a moment that this was real and actually happening.“a nice, slow evening being curled up together sounds good to me, too.” their head levelled to be straight on, lips pressing between his pectorals and at his sternum. it was just a soft, gentle press over and over again. his heart was supposed to belong to her now. she’d have to treat it well. “would you like to shower with me?” they asked after a moment, lips still moving on his skin. wanted to offer him all the care and affection they’d both been starved from in all the time they’d been waiting for one of them to realise they could have what they wished for. “or a bath?” the peppering of lips continued until she reached the hollow of his throat, nose sliding up the column before she lifted her head to lock eyes with him.
" probably ? nah, it's in your system now. " he nestled into them again, taking a moment to live in the scent they created. " i've been told it's terminal too, so. no choice but to live out your twilight years with me, what a horrible way to go. " this should feel strange, but it just doesn't. not even a little bit. two days ago they were in this same place, not the bedroom but not far from it talking about personal things, making little friend plans, figuring out what bar they should go to, talking about what he'd come to realize was a slowly failing relationship. and now they were cuddled up in their bed, idly talking like they always had. " okay, didn't think i came across as 'has a humiliation fetish' but really appreciate the shot. " it felt like the most natural thing in the world, laying there. even with flossie on top of him, breasts pressed against his skin, the two of them practically sticking together until they slowly began to dry off, it felt like they were right where they belonged. where they'd belonged this whole time. " yeah, actually. " energy spent for now, he went limp beneath her and focused on his breathing. " i could go anywhere with you and have a good time. i could take you to dinner or we could go out drinking and singing but. " moving his back, he made enough room for their arms to hook around him again, raising a hand to brush some of the hair out of their face so he could watch them kiss his chest. " it's kind of . . . i wanted it to be a little more personal, you know ? i mean i'm no gordon ramsay or anything but it'll be something i make with my effort. you can pick the movie though. " his head arched back as they started to crawl up his body, not wanting to deny them any space. " not gonna' scare you away by making you sit through the extended editions of the lord of the rings. yet, anyway. " by the time she'd reached his throat, and asked, he flexed his hands at his sides and rolled his ankles. " i don't know if i can fit in your bathtub, i couldn't fit in mine if i tried. just, " he leaned up, pecking at her lips only to start rolling over, offering them the chance to stand up. " give me a . . . " a few moments later, with both feet on the floor, he stood up. he wobbled briefly before catching himself with a laugh. " thought you made my legs go numb there. " he had been spent, physically. but there was no denying: the two of them stunk. it was a smell he'd commit to memory, but around their other friends ? now that they weren't clinging to each other still, and they could collectively stumble to flossie's bathroom, he took every opportunity to stretch his legs, watching as they started the water. " should be a fun reveal for everyone else. you think we should wait to say something and surprise everyone with christmas cards ? "
" could always have been worse, " offers with a feigned pout. quinn finds sympathy hard to come by, especially around someone who has nothing to be ashamed about . and to be completely honest, feels her fingers itching for her pencil and sketch pad. has a special appreciation of the human form that often goes overlooked by non - artists. " i could have been a complete stranger, for starters. " doesn't know if that provides the comfort she intends. might have actually been better if it had been someone allen doesn't know. " no. " chuckles, raising a hand to her forehead. it's the closest quinn will ever come to feeling ashamed. " but i do have a sketch pad in my duffle bag. give me forty - five minutes, and i'll have something somewhat close enough to a photo. " smile lingers, steps forth, seeming to diminish some of the distance between them. quinn settles on the opposite bench, eyes casually trailing a series of droplets trailing along his chest, arms, abs. " i'm kidding, by the way. it'd taken something more like an hour. " rises from her spot, stepping around to grab a clean towel. " my stare isn't the only thing that's hard around here, hm ? " draws a few steps forward, extending her hand with a playful smirk. " you have nothing to be embarrassed over, by the way. you're ripped and hung. it's pretty impressive, if anything. " quinn may have been afraid to speak her mind back then, but she's found she has little to lose at this point. " you think i might be able to sneak in a shower? before anyone walks in, i mean. " raises a brow, genuinely curious.
as much as he detested the logic she wasn't wrong . " good point . now i just get to embarrass myself in front of someone i see basically every day . " yeah , there were still a few things for him to work out , confidence - wise . baby steps . standing upright and trying to sort through his things , he rolled his eyes . " yeah , i don't really know if i can sit still and pose for an hour . not unless you're paying me . " interactions like this hardly help his own conception of himself , what kind of person he is or what his value is . it doesn't escape his notice how differently he's treated now , and so much of his mind remains wrapped up in what used to be , not what currently is . the little comment has him looking down . the fact that she pointed it out has only made it a little worse . doesn't help when she comes so close either , but he opts to play it cool , turning his gaze to her and taking the towel when offered . " i can't really do anything about that right now and there's really nothing left i can leave up to the imagination with you anyway , so . " he shrugged , raising the towel up to his head to dry off his face , and his hair. " impressive , huh . " perhaps in a similar vein , if they're pushing boundaries , he hardly has anything to lose either . like he said , she's already seen everything there is to see of him . " i could use someone to work out with if you have any gaps in your schedule . would be nice to have someone around to talk to when i'm doing my cardio . " god , what did he mean by that ? even he doesn't know . " it's pretty empty right now , i don't think anyone's coming by for another hour at least . just let me get changed and the place is all yours . "
“of course we are. i mean, i am.” flossie couldn’t speak for him, not in this situation. there were certainly instances where she felt like she knew allen well enough to make assumptions about what he was thinking or feeling, and was able to act on them accordingly. however, this wasn’t something they’d sensed or saw coming so perhaps he was better at keeping things a secret than they’d realised. or her ignorance had been intentional, turning a blind eye to something right in front of her through the fear that also came with it. who really was narcissistic enough to assume their best friend was in love with them? she’d just consider herself lucky if he shared even a fraction of the feelings that she had for him and it certainly seemed like he did, at the very least. “we do but it doesn’t have to be hard. things just… come when they’re ready. we’ve taken long enough to get here, i think this is supposed to be the easy bit,” she mused, though that admittance was perhaps also what was troubling her. “please, al. it would’ve taken more than you admitting you had feelings for me to drive me away. i’d probably have just called you ridiculous or… i don’t know. it wouldn’t have been a big deal.” not to them, at least. it might’ve been devastating for him, maybe he was the one that wouldn’t be able to come back from such a confession. she closed her eyes as he idly touched her, basking in the sensation of such pure affection. “i didn’t tell you i have the hots for mega nerds? huh, funny i missed that one out.” inhaling deeply, their eyes fluttered open to fall upon his face. a face that she’d looked at so many times before and also somehow felt like she was seeing in a brand new light. “i don’t know… i’ve heard i can be pretty scary…” not scary exactly, just fiercely independent and with a need to prove it. had more bark than bite, honestly. probably evidenced best by the fact she shuffled down the bed a little so that she could sling an arm around allen’s waist and tuck her head beneath his chin. “you wanna… maybe go on a date this weekend? actually do something nice. get dressed up. make a bit of effort.” it might be difficult going forward to distinguish the romance to their hangouts, they’d spent so much time together that she felt it was important to establish some sort of difference. “we can maybe hang out here afterwards too, of course… if the evening calls for it. we can just see where the night takes us, like a real first date.”
" i am too. " he was perhaps too quick to answer, hoping to immediately dispel any notion that he had any second thoughts or that he didn't really mean what he said. " i'm . . . i'm more comfortable with this than i've been with just about anything. i want you to know that. " the longer they lay there, tangled up with one another, the more he could feel his muscles tighten just a little, which brought on the occasional shift and stretch. his legs eventually got wrapped up in theirs, arms curling tighter again to bring them closer, head nestled right under his chin. " yeah, you're right. this is the easy part. " in the glow of what they'd just done he couldn't help but cling to them, holding their body close to his, close enough that he could feel their heartbeats start to steady. a hand idly dragged along their ribcage, their back, their curves, before tangling in their hair and idly petting it as they spoke. " don't have to go through the will-they-won't-they again. " moving his head back, he let theirs lean back enough where they could look one another in the eyes again. " i'm all yours, floss. and i wouldn't rather be anywhere else. " he punctuated his musing with a little kiss on their nose. " yeah, i feel like getting called ridiculous would've done some serious damage. " it's a joke, he presents it like one with a little laugh as he nestled his head against theirs. the hand that dragged down along their body eventually clasped onto their thigh, only to raise it and help wrap their leg around his hips so they could cuddle up a little closer. " careful, i hear the whole being a massive dork thing is infectious. " not long before he takes his turn resting his face against their neck. only the occasional peck, but mostly to revel in the sensation of being held by them, the comfort and stability it brings. " scary, " he laughed when he said it, as much as he could. " yeah, maybe to everyone else. " they shifted again, and he happily let a hand rest against the back of their head as she came to rest against the curve of his neck. " you'll always just be my girl to me. who knows though, maybe you being a little scary turns me on. " another casual kiss to their forehead. they could probably feel his lips curling into a smile as she spoke before he leaned back again. " i'd like that. what you think, dinner ? " each sentence punctuated by a gentle kiss to their lips. " maybe some dancing somewhere. " a deep breath followed. " floss . . . my ideal night is one where i'm with you. you ask me what date i'd plan . . . i'd get us popcorn, make us dinner, we sit on the couch and eat, and when we're done we put a movie on, or a bad reality tv show and we just have fun being in the same room. as long as you're with me i'll have the time of my life. " he rolled over so she could lay atop him, and hie could more comfortably watch her. " and when we're done i carry you back here, and maybe we do this again if we want to. maybe a few times, until we're so tired and horse that we can't keep going. " his eyes soften, like he's looking at the love of his life. " and maybe when we're done, we just hold each other and fall asleep. sounds like a beautiful night to me, either way. "
how had flossie been so blind to what was in front of her all along? it was perhaps easy to overlook given their years of friendship but he'd been there. by their side, understanding, the same. she supposed it was perhaps easier to overlook the obvious but with a friendship as precious to her as the one she shared, perhaps it was wilful ignorance that she'd displayed. a gnawing fear that anything more would ruin what the two of them had, and then how were they supposed to recover from that? it felt so right now, though. the way he so tenderly caressed her with his lips and drew her into his arms made her certain this was no mistake. when they stepped out of the four walls of flossie's room, things wouldn't regress. they'd move forward together and figure out what that togetherness meant for them. things felt a little hazy after some time, they could only focus on clinging to the hand that they were offered and ensuring they still pulled deep breaths into their lungs. breathes that were often punctuated by a moan or whine of his name. "yes — yes," she eventually got out, her own body tensing with the nearing climax. when it came it was one of the most intense things they'd ever experienced. white nose filled their ears in terms of the sound of their own pulse and his ragged breathing. she couldn't be sure she could trust her legs to carry her anywhere any time soon. head soon enough rolled to the side so that she could peer at him when he lay down beside her, hand reaching to clasp his and bring it to her lips. "don't i always laugh at your stupid jokes?" they murmured, half teasing. she didn't feel as though what they were to one another would change. in her eyes, it would only evolve. become better. stronger. "we can date, if that's what you're asking." it already felt established to them, their earlier shared confessions not something that could be withdrawn or taken as anything other than belonging to one another wholly. with a slight gasp, her blissfully used body turned to face him. they reached out to push back some of the hair stuck to his face, a small smile tugging at their lips. "i'll be really good to you," she found herself promising quietly. her aversion to relationships was perhaps notable but she didn't think of herself as incapable. it just had to be the right person... and that was allen. they were sure of it. "i know the things i've told you before about not being good at relationships or them being boring but that's just — it was only because it was the wrong people. i know that, i knew it even then. this isn't something new for me. the way i feel for you. i think i've just... ignored it for a long time because i was scared... but i'm not anymore."
what awaited outside both terrified and excited him. how else to describe something like this other than life-changing, or life-altering. the sounds they made writhing in pleasure both beneath and atop him had been burned forever into his memory. nothing would ever be the same, and as much as the thought made him fear for what could be, it just as easily made him happy for what will be. this, the way he curled his arms around them, the way their body felt nestled against his, this felt natural. it felt like, as they said, it should have always been them. it should have always been the two of them. in a way it always had been the two of them against the world, just in a separate way. he barely had control of his limbs anymore, but a dainty little smile floated across his face when they kissed his hand. " you do, but you know what i mean. " couldn't help but lean forward and kiss their forehead again, and again, slowly, a sign of trust but also an intimacy that would trend beyond just what they could do with and to one another physically. " i know we're dating, " he responded, a little weak. " i just . . . i don't know. this is new, for the both of us. i wanted to make sure we were both comfortable with it. " it felt strange for him to say. we're dating. they really were now, weren't they ? that's what the whole breathless confession was for. watching them smile was all it took for his expression to brighten up, like a light switched on. " i know you will. i guess we got a lot to learn, the two of us, but we'll learn it together. " he'd heard all of the rants and, in the back of his mind, he had to wonder just how real they were. how much of it was true and how much of it was them putting one thing before the other. physical needs over emotional. he'd brought it up more than a few times, out of concern as a friend. " nobody's naturally good at this stuff. " he mirrored their little act of care, brushing a few stuck strands of hair away from their face. " i think i felt the same way for a while. i didn't know . . . what me telling you would do, if you ever saw me like that. you're one of the best things that ever happened to me, i couldn't lose you. not over something like that. " he had the time to confess, but their words made him laugh under his breath and forward, so his nose could drag along her collarbone and up her neck. " you had a crush on little old me ? what did it, me talking too much about d&d and star wars ? " when he finally made it back to their lips, his own had grown sore a long time ago. it didn't stop him from leaving a slow, purposeful kiss on their lips. his lust had been spent, this was all romantic intimacy, fingers tangled loosely in their hair, left hand planted flat against their abdomen, up along their breasts to feel their heartbeat, movement leisurely and languid. " i'm not scared anymore either. why would i be ? i got you by my side. "
cranes her neck , towel slung over her shoulder as she steps into the locker room. needless to say that she's tense and in need of a warm shower to loosen strained muscles. too distracted with her own thoughts as she makes a wrong turn into the male locker room. comes to a slow stop , realization sinking in much too late. thinks about uttering an apology when the words die in the back of her throat. really can't help the way her gaze inadvertently flickers across his body , breath caught when she notices he's completely naked. gathers her courage a tad too late when he takes notice of her presence , prompting her to jolt with surprise. " sorry , sorry ! " tilts her head, cheeks flushed. " relax , okay ? i swear i wasn't spying. " quinn was simply stunned. if her eyes went on a bit of a trail across his naked form , it was purely instinctual. chuckles , avidly trying not to think about the droplets of water sliding down his chest and abs. " i came to shower and — " groans , vaguely gesturing in his direction. " i didn't know how to announce my presence. but it's fine , " ensures , all too relaxed about this situation. brows furrow, another laugh escaping past her lips. " do you want me to lie ? alright. " still keeps her head tilted , just barely able to make him out through her peripherals. " i didn't see anything. " mischievous smirk toys at her lips.
were this any other time or any other place , he might have felt far more mortified to be seen in this way than he was now . especially by someone his age , god forbid . but when the initial shock wears off , all he can do is sit down on the bench and put his head in his hands , more startled than angry or annoyed . " jesus quinn , " he finally let out , taking a deep breath in to settle his nerves . " yeah , yeah . it's . . . it's fine . " well , it's not really that fine , considering what she said next , but he could only shake his head , roll his eyes and lean back somewhat to look at her . if they were having this conversation , they might as well have it . " perfect . " eventually , the needle - like feeling on his skin settled down . what's done was done , nothing they could do to undo that . " at least you didn't bring a camera . " he paused. " you don't have a camera right ? " another pause , to think . " nevermind . sorry to interrupt your shower . " when he felt able , he finally stood back up . he hadn't noticed how hard he'd gotten under the towel , likely from the shower . doing that in public , even in a room with no people in it , still moderately excited him apparently . turning toward his locker , he looked around for something. " mind throwing me another towel while you're here ? and maybe try not staring at me so hard ? "
“maybe you could — i still need to find out what you like.” though, flossie didn’t have many intentions to ask. would rather just observe him closely to find out the things that made him tick, how to get him into a state of euphoria. it’s not as though they’d reject anything he had to offer, however. she smiled at his own rather knowing observation, shrugging her shoulders. “what can i say? you sound hot,” she mused, though there were definitely a few other factors to it than that. the sheer fact it was allen also contributed to her enjoyment. there was maybe actually something behind the thinking that sex was better when it was meaningful. they were certainly a rather busy individual prior to this but it always lacked any connection. sure, she had fun but the buck stopped there. it was different to be able to give herself to someone wholly and to also know they’d give themself back. she let out a rather pleased little giggle as she was splayed out under his gaze, warmth filling her at the compliment. any other time they might shush him or roll their eyes but for now they accepted it… if only because he crawled on top of them and any hope of a conversation died in their throat. she tilted her head back, arms loose and easy for him to manipulate how he wanted. they found they quite liked being pinned beneath him like this; an instinctive sort of safe feeling filling them. before she could get lost in any more whimsical thoughts, the nudge of the head of his cock at her pussy grabbed her attention. she was still so wet but now two orgasms in and doubly sensitive. they felt raw in every sense of the word, in the best sense of the word. his murmuring into her ear sent the words rolling around in her mind, lips mouthing the words along with him. she spread her legs wider, feet resting on the bed so her knees would bracket her hips. it gave them a little leverage this way, allowed them to tilt their lower half in such a way that each time he plunged into her she felt him at the deepest point. “you feel so fucking good,” they husked, hands balling in to fists as they struggled to know what to do with the pleasure emanating from their core. “it should’ve been you. all this time, it should’ve been you.” not tinder dates or one night stands, she’d had all that she needed packaged up in a little bow as her best friend. not a thing to get caught up about now but feelings just poured from them. “i’m yours — show me how much.” maybe asking him to put her through the mattress to measure his desire wasn’t particularly romantic but she needed to feel consumed by him more than she already was.
" i'm a simple man floss, what can i say. " the way they were curled up together like this, even before the next exchange of passion, that was good enough for him. " we could lay here for days and i'd be happy. " it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what turned him on. surely there were more than a few things that even he hadn't quite had the time to discover about himself, things they'd learn together. what a thrill, he thought to himself. " this implying i don't always sound hot ? " he made a little fake expression of disappointment before he leaned forward, kissing her forehead once again. there was something to say about it being flossie, not anyone else. with them he didn't feel the need to put on a mask and perform the way he had with the others. he knew, even if he didn't quite internalize it before, that they'd never judge him. the validation he'd received that afternoon went a long way, and it was validation he intended to pay back. both in the long term and now, as he straddled over her body and pushed himself inside her again. it happened slowly, a lot slower than he intended. both because of the feelings he'd experienced, but also because he knew she must be incredibly sensitive by now. but if she was willing to go through with it, so was he. even in a state like this he can't help but be a romantic. as much as he wanted to keep their hands pinned above their head like before it wasn't long before they slipped back down to their ribcage, before his arms wrapped around them again, a grip he refused to let go as he started again. the more he spoke the more he could hear, whether intentional or not, flossie mirroring his words close enough to his ear that they were barely whispers, but each one motivated him to keep pushing in and out of them faster. " so do you, " he responded with a kiss on the cheek, before resorting back to heavy breathing and a ragged, raspy moan right into their ear. they were both sensitive enough and he'd already practically edged himself by spending so much time between her legs that him lasting much longer was an impossibility. it became even less possible when he heard them speak again. slowly his head moved away from their shoulder so he could look right into their eyes as he thrusted, one hand uncoiling from their body so he could tangle his fingers into theirs again through another needed, intimate kiss. " i know, " he whispered in between exchanges, in between the noises of pleasure she pulled from him. " it will be now. " caught up in the moment, his hand clamped around theirs and he pushed harder, deeper into her, right where he knew she'd directed him to hit earlier. " it's always gonna' be me. " her words spurred him into action. one hand in hers, the other eventually found its way gently beneath their lower back, helping support them and ensuring that every thrust he made sunk as deeply into them as it could. he was bordering on exhaustion, all his energy sapped, but he kept pushing for as long and as hard as he could until he couldn't anymore. " i'm . . . i'm fucking cumming, " he whispered and, shortly thereafter he could feel himself emptying into her a second time, a long groan of satisfaction leaving his lips as he throbbed inside her, forcing whatever remained of his to give out for her to experience. when he'd finished, he all but collapsed against them, body coated in sweat and the stench of the two of them all over. remaining inside her for a few more moments, he slowly pulled away, rolling half onto his back at her side. vision dazed, he had to wait a moment before rolling over to look at them again. " it's always gonna' be me. and it's gonna' be more than this. i love this, but i want us . . . i want to be a couple, too. learn everything i can learn about you, take you out to dinner, have you laugh at my stupid jokes. " he paused, having to catch his breath. " i want to have us go get taco bell or something, come home, cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie or something, on top of all this. i want everything i can get out of life with you. "
he'd been listening, clearly. heard the warning that she'd gave about not stopping when it seemed like she was almost there, that she'd need him to get her all the way over the edge before he could slow down. for flossie it felt even better than they thought it would. having someone do exactly what they needed, when they needed? allen would be lucky if she let him out of bed. it definitely sounded worthwhile keeping him there to discover all the things he could do and was being modest about. once she sagged back into the pillows with his guidance, she continued to watch through lidded eyes as his hand came to his mouth and then her own. they accepted them, sucking each digit slowly and thoroughly. she let out a bit of a hum of disbelief as they fell from her mouth. "i'm sure anything that you don't know, you'll learn. you seem to be able to do that quickly." how he'd been able to turn her to mush with only a brief explanation on how to do that was clearly evidence enough. they closed their eyes for a moment as he wrapped around them, basking in how it felt to be this close to him. also acutely aware of the stiff length brushing at their hip. "does pleasing me get you off?" she asked, a vaguely teasing lilt to her voice. it wasn't a bad thing, would make getting him off a whole lot easier. her eyes closed when she was met with his barrage of kisses, in her own state of happiness as a result. they let a hand slide down their side, eventually grazing over his cock. "you are hard, huh?" her touch was mostly teasing and light, the back of fingers sliding slowly up and down. they tilted their head so to press their lips together once more, this time kissing him long and deep. she'd got her breath by now and so wanted to pour her affections for him out that way, while also sliding her tongue into his mouth so they could share the taste of her pussy. "do you think you can go again?" it was more of a curious question than a request; it's not been that long since his last release and while he has managed to get hard, she doesn't want him so sensitive that it becomes uncomfortable. they peeled back only enough to look into his eyes as they awaited the answer, hand still mindlessly brushing.
the praise is only a little difficult for him to accept, but coming from her, he is left to nod in satisfaction. " helps that i had a good teacher. " he did want to keep going, badly, but as much as he enjoyed sex, especially with her, it was these moments he seemed to treasure most. his hand gently came to rest at her ribcage after she sucked his fingers dry, only to slowly run along the length of her body to the curve of her hip, and back up again. " maybe i could teach you a thing or two, huh ? " he smiled, maybe the clearest he had in a long time just staring at her as they lay in bed. the little tease led him to lean forward, gently tapping his lips against her nose. " a little. pretty sure you going down on me got you off a little, so. " he rose both eyebrows at once, joking. " twins, right ? " his grip around her loosened when he felt their hand start to stroke his length again, breath only a little stuttered. the smell of her was all over him, his skin and his breath, and his sent stuck on hers. the room felt thick with both of their essence, and his only respite was to let his face nestle further into her cheek. his distraction lasted not a few seconds before he felt her lips against his again, his own instinctively opening to welcome the intrusion of her tongue, sharing so much of one another. when she peeled away to ask, his eyes slipped back open again. while it hadn't been very long since he was inside her last, it certainly felt like an eternity to him. the long diversion he took to confess his feelings, and to show the depth of those feelings had given him the opportunity to recuperate, and the more he listened to her speak, the more he felt like he needed to relieve himself. forehead came to rest against flossie's again as he rocked his head up and down, nodding yes, and without another word, he rolled her onto her back once again. for a moment, he just sat himself up and observed her. he couldn't help but develop another dumb smile the longer he stared. " you're so beautiful, " he whispered. sweetness gave way to lust again, eventually, as he slowly lay on top of her. as he did before, his fingers curled around her wrists, pinning them above her head as he began to gently kiss her throat. as he did, he slid himself forward just enough for his cock to stretch her open, until he had fully penetrated her. as he began to roll in and out of her again, he repeated himself into her ear, a reverent chant. " you're mine, you're mine, you're mine and i'm yours. "
hearing allen moan as he worked his mouth over her made flossie tremble. she knew some people would put on shows for their partner, do things for their benefit despite the fact they perhaps weren't enjoying themself completely. there was nothing wrong with that exactly, she'd done it herself, but it definitely took away from the experience a bit. however, when it came to him she knew that it was no show. the way his hips rutted into the bed as he sought his own pleasure from pleasing her proved as much. the slight reprieve from his mouth was maybe needed. it gave them a second to catch their breath... before it was swiftly stollen from their lungs once more as he tucked a third finger beside the initial two. it wasn't hard to do. she was sopping wet, audibly so, but still undeniably felt the stretch from the added digit. "oh my god," they groaned, eyes almost rolling back in their head. it was a wonder that she was able to meet his kisses at all, mouth distracted from releasing the sounds he was pulling from her. a hand draped over one of his shoulders, the blunt edges of her nails digging in and her lower half undulated desperately against his hand. his words filled the space between them and pushed them more towards the edge that they were teetering on. "just— please—" he didn't need the direction anymore, it seemed. her free hand reached down to loosely wrap around his wrist but played no part in his ministrations. she just needed him to stay there and couldn't verbalise it. eventually it hit them. an orgasm that made her back lift from the bed in an effort to get closer to him, a shaky cry of a moan filling the room and the tight walls of her pussy getting tighter around his fingers. eventually they trusted him to let them ride it out, hand falling away as they rocked up to soak up the last dregs of pleasure. "shit," she hissed out, eyes blinking open slowly so that she could peer at him with a dazed expression. "you didn't need me to tell you how to do that. there's no way."
he was still learning how to let someone else take care of him. he was, by his own nature, a people pleaser. after years of being some scrawny kid, he learned quickly that the only way he could really get attention was to go out of his way for someone else. with others he might've considered that impulse pathetic, but never for flossie. every swell of his tongue against her pussy excited him, because he knew the sounds he heard from their throat were all authentic. they needed it just as badly as he did, maybe that's why they worked so well together now. it was true, he probably didn't need as much instruction as he let on, but it wasn't so much the steps he needed to learn as much as it was the confidence to execute on them. feeling her tremble when he touched her the right way filled him with pride, one he shared in every messy kiss they shared. even when she couldn't properly articulate her thoughts, he knew she was saying just what he wanted to hear. " you're almost there, " he whispered, continuing to encourage and talk her through it as she approached climax. the second he could feel their nails in his back he knew he had them right where he needed them. that feeling alone was worth a thousand of them telling him not to stop: this was direct. so he didn't stop, he massaged her harder, pressed down a little harder right at that spot in her lower abdomen until he could feel their pussy clamp down around him. when she jolted forward allen uncoupled his hand from hers, only to wrap an arm fully around her and let her ride it out against his hand. " shhh, shhh, good girl, you did so good. " when it had finally ended, allen slowly removed all three fingers from her, laying her back against the bed so he could slowly brush sweat-tinged lengths of hair from flossie's forehead, and leave a lengthy, meaningful kiss right there. " i don't know if i did, " he whispered, raising the three fingers that still dripped with her essence. while she watched he dipped the tips of his fingers onto his tongue before offering them to flossie, should she want them. " but you're my girl. i needed to ask just in case . . . just in case there was something else you liked that i needed to know. " once he'd finished, both arms curled around her again as he slid up the bed. as he did, his cock dragged over her skin, hard to the touch again as he lay himself on his side next to her, refusing to let her go. " jesus, " he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead against theirs. " i almost came again doing that. " he couldn't help but punctuate his words with a giddy, childlike laugh as he pulled them closer, dotting her face with even more little kisses out of sheer, unfiltered bliss.
flossie wondered for a moment if she was going into too much detail. she was sure allen wasn't stupid; he'd had a girlfriend after all. had to have at least tried this. that being said, he had asked specifically how to please her and so she was going to tell him. by the time they were done with giving their instructions, they were a bit worried about overwhelming him. she knew that she shouldn't have, though. he almost looked determined. they'd given him all of the tools and now it was up to them to decide how to use them. as his digits thrust deeper into her she focused on relaxing, getting out of her head and just feeling instead. it wasn't long until he managed to pull a moan from them. the brushing of his fingers right where she needed them, how fervently his mouth moved against her. it was clear he'd been listening. they squeezed at his hand when their fingers laced together, forcing their eyes open to watch as he lost himself in trying to do what had been asked of him. he did it well. "that's it," she breathed, pussy fluttering around his fingers every time a press into that sweet spot hit just right. they moved a leg to drape over his shoulder, heel digging slightly into his back in a gesture of encouragement to keep him exactly where he was doing exactly what he was. she could also writhe a little like this, it giving her the leverage to move her hips to arch into his mouth when she felt like she needed it. their free hand cupped over one of their breasts, plucking and thumbing over the sensitive nipple to just add to the experience. he didn't need the help now he'd taken her instructions but it was just one more thing for flossie to feel. "fuck," they moaned, eyes eventually squeezing shut as their head pushed back into the pillow. "do i taste good? do you—" she definitely didn't need to be talking right now but felt the need to fill the silence with something beyond her cries of pleasure and the filthy wet sound of his mouth on her pussy. "do you like that?" didn't expect an answer. it seemed like it from their perspective. the way he ate her out was like a man starved and she lapped up every moment of it. didn't want it to end even if she'd have no choice in the matter given how good it felt. "harder. baby, please. make me cum."
most of all, the thing that held him back likely wasn't inexperience, but his own mind and expectations. sure, he'd done this before, but if he were being honest he would say that any earlier attempts had always been plagued by a fear of failure, of not being good enough or doing the wrong thing. fucking up so catastrophically that he would be sent right back to point a, doomed to keep searching again. maybe that's what made being with flossie so different. he knew them better than he knew anyone, but with that knowledge came the comfort of knowing they wouldn't let him drown. his voice became muffled by them, lips and tongue too occupied in tasting every last inch of their aching pussy for him to utter a proper response with words. crawling up against the bed a little more upon feeling their ankle at his back, the sensation alone was making him hard again, only amplified as his cock brushed against the bed, the necessary friction making him throb. that alone was new, he'd never felt a need to do this again, but he threw himself into it. the touch of flossie's hand into his hair had him eventually join them, lips backing away just enough for a breathy moan or two to escape before he returned to carefully tending to their needs. his other hand desperately held onto theirs, but when he came for air, his eyes peaked back up over their waist, down their body and to their face. " you taste so fucking good, " he responded, dotting her inner thighs with a kiss here and there before returning his lips to them, addicted to the scent of it. after a long time spent gaining perspective, paying attention to their body, how it reacted with every stroke and movement of his fingers, he carefully stretched their pussy open to put a third in. when he did, he crawled back up their body again to look them right in the eyes, lips still wet with the taste of them as he fingered them harder, pulsing and curling all three fingers right where he knew they needed it. " come on baby, i know how close you are. " head leaned down, forcing sloppy, dribbling kiss against flossie's lips as he encouraged them to arch against his hand. lips dot against their neck, their cheek again. " cum for me babygirl, let it all out for me. you're doing so good, you just have to let yourself cum. "
there was something about having someone needy for her. eager to please and desperately wanting. it made a warmth fill flossie that she was only somewhat familiar with; obviously she liked feeling wanted at the best of times but this was different. it was as though he needed them. the deep kiss, the way he clung to her and rocked up against her. he was right — they could set emotions aside for now. once the pair of them shifted she released a breath that she didn’t realise she was holding, hands rather willingly being pinned so that she could take what he had to offer. soft, shuddery moans left them at the brush of his lips, back arching slightly from the bed in their effort to chase for more. not that she had to chase when he was so willingly giving it to her. their eyes fluttered closed as some point as they relished his kisses, his words. he didn’t even have to hold her hands in place for after he moved his, she stayed there. when he slipped lower she came back a little, shifting to rest her head on the pillow in such a way so that she could look down as he settled between her thighs. “oh,” they whimpered, still sensitive from when they’d been together not long ago. she was still wet, glistening beneath his tongue with her pussy aching in anticipation. “okay,” paused to clear their throat, unsure when it became so raw, “okay. you just… do that. work me open a little. palm up. then, you want to focus a little less on going in and out. you can but you want to aim here…” she lowered one of her hands, bringing it down to rest extremely low on her abdomen. “like you’re trying to massage this spot from the inside?” they’ve laid with enough people to know what felt good and considering it was so rare to have someone so keen to bring them that pleasure, they wanted to let him do it right. “you can kiss me here, too.” hand slid down, two fingers spreading her folds before one brushed over her clit. “i say kiss because you need to do a bit of everything. lick, suck, a little graze of your teeth.” their hand moved again, now damp finger sliding between his lips for a moment just because they could. “and when i say don’t stop, that means don’t stop. don’t change a fucking thing. if you want to make me cum for you then you need to listen. pay attention to what my body is telling you. when i’m close, you can press down a little here,” fingers graze her abdomen again, “just a little light pressure. heightens what you’re doing inside. you’ll know when.” possibly, if he listened to her instructions at all. they slid their fingers through his hair, taking a handful to guide him with. “now — tongue out.”
all of this made him feel like he was a teenager again, drowning in his own desperation for something he could only barely understand. but back then, he had flossie to commiserate with, someone to tell him that it would happen eventually and that he didn't have to change. now, that person was quite literally under him, his in a way that not even his ex could match. he hadn't quite understood just how badly he needed someone like this. not just someone to fuck, but someone that could validate him in ways that he'd forgotten he wanted. yes, he had fallen all over them, practically worshipping their body, lips at their shoulders and ribcage, right above their heart and their throat, he wanted his lips everywhere they could possibly touch them. that was the only way of showing how much they really meant, that and what he was about to do anyway. that little whimper from their lips was enough to make him drag his tongue along sensitive folds again, relishing the taste of not just her, but him too. astute eyes slowly turned up to watch as flossie diagramed their body out for them, the spots he needed to reach to bring them the most pleasure, the motions he needed to perform and repeat. " okay. " despite his inexperience, allen was no slouch, and no mere introvert. one thing you learn being stuck on the other side of the glass for so long is how to read other people, the little ticks that signal a transition from happiness to annoyance, or otherwise. so he dutifully followed their instructions, placing one hand right over their fingertip, just to track that sweet spot deep inside them that he needed to reach. then, blue eyes slowly looked up as his fingers sank deeper and deeper into them , a few failed thrusts before he found himself right about at the mark they set out for him. when he did, he took her words to heart: a little less on going in and out, more on massaging. so his fingers curled up into it, slightly rolling back and forth as he watched and waited for any little twitch in her expression, muscle spasm beneath him. eyes still locked on them he opened his jaw again, before lavishing their clit with it once, then twice, then bringing his lips over it to suck it out, grazing teeth, buzzing his lips, anything he could do in rhythm with his hands. once he started he couldn't stop, devouring her pussy like it was a feral need. one hand reached out for her hand, to tangle his fingers into theirs as he kept stroking into her with the other. he wouldn't dare do anything other than bring her joy. no words, just actions as he followed her direction to a t.
they wanted the same thing, flossie was slowly realising. it was a surprise to her. their friendship had always felt natural, like they were just able to understand one another instinctively, so maybe feelings beneath the surface from both parties shouldn’t have felt so out of the blue. she had denied the existence of her own for long enough, knew they existed before now but they were easily squashed until allen had asked for assistance. now they had nothing to hide. they’d never been as exposed as they were now, speaking their mind whilst pressed against him and able to feel the warmth of his skin against their own. while they felt vulnerable it also felt right. he felt right. the peppering of kisses along with his words made her feel as though she was floating again, on some other plane of existence where everything in her life got to be perfect. she didn’t get perfect often, if ever, but maybe having him would be the change in her luck. taking this leap of faith would be worth it. “i’m yours,” they whispered into the space between them, eyes locked with his. saying it once wasn’t enough, she found, echoing the sentiment over and over. “i’m yours, i’m yours, i’myoursi’myoursi’m—” eventually she cut off, moving closer inch by inch until her lips could press against his, the words murmured in to his mouth for him to fully absorb. near enough climbed fully on top of him in their effort to get closer and then closer still. couldn’t possibly be close enough. eventually the words died out in favour of kissing him properly, slow pecks moving into something deeper as they attempted to pour the last of their emotions into the action. “show me,” she begged softly, still unable to tear herself from him, “please. show me.” maybe he already had without meaning to before but now they’d crossed the bridge and been honest, she needed it again. needed to be able to internalise it and know that she was allowed. it hadn’t been enough but they could get there. teeth caught at his lower lip, tugging slightly as they leaned back to lock eyes with him again. “i’m yours, allen.”
before this, he'd only been with one girl that he would've actively considered a " relationship " in the traditional sense. they reserved themselves for one another, they went on dates, they went to the movies and texted each other good morning and good night. but as he lay there, consumed by flossie's presence and her words, he was left wondering why he'd done that at all. his ex wasn't a bad person, at least he wouldn't consider her one, but despite their best attempts he never got even half as enraptured by anything she'd done as he did by listening to flossie speak. the first incantation only drew his arms tighter, and the more she repeated it, the closer he needed to be until their lips met again, first the gentle little taps one would expect out of their excitement until it morphed into something slower, languid. the moment he felt their tongue against his, a shuddering, needy moan left his throat. hands immediately went to tangle in their hair, hips rolling up at them. he'd started to get hard again, difficult as it was. " okay, " he nodded, hastily. " okay. " curling himself against her throat, lips pressed down to feel the raging of her heartbeat, allen slowly rolled himself over until flossie lay beneath him. half seated over her, allen's hands came to rest on their wrists, only to slowly push them up, until they were pinned above their head. leaning down again, his lips gently came to rest on her sternum, across her breast, over their nipple once or twice. " i'm yours, " he repeated, dotting kisses over their chest and their ribs, back again over their stomach. " i'm yours. " his eyes grew hazy, and the longer he continued, he began what could only be described as worshipping them, lavishing their still wet body with an intimate kiss here, slow drag of the tongue there. a kiss right onto the belly button, and eventually his hands had to let go of their wrists, only to clasp against their ribs. his lips slowly dragged down, hands with them, until he could open up their legs. " i'm yours, your mine. " the words are punctuated as he left longer, more intimate kisses along her inner thighs, down along her waist, just above her pussy. his eyes slowly roll up to meet hers as his tongue dragged along sensitive folds for the first time, a moan followed. " tell me how to do this, " he whispered, two fingers teasing them before they could start spreading them open, making room to start penetrating, not daring to move his eyes from theirs for even a second as he started working in and out. " tell me how to make you cum. "
even though he returned the sentiment, letting flossie know that he cared about her, she just wasn't sure that he understood what she meant. of course they cared about one another. they were friends. it was the depth of caring that was the problem. it’s stupid to feel this way about a friend, they wanted to say. she didn't, though. it wasn't fair to project the insecure parts of her on to him. when allen tucked her in close and pressed their lips together again, for a moment all the thoughts in her mind ceased. the buzzing that had started up after they'd realised what the two of them sleeping together had meant slowly dulled out, until they were left longing for his lips once more as they started at him. the more that he spoke, the more she wanted to hear. everything that he said was just right, the antidote to a problem she didn't even realise existed. and then it was over, he was looking away. they couldn't let him regress... and also couldn't let themself simply take the silence. her tongue slid out over her lips before she moved slightly, pushing herself up to peer at him properly despite the fact he seemed unwilling for their gazes to meet. "allen," they murmured, reaching a hand up to graze over his cheek. "it's not stupid." her heart was beating fast once more, thumping almost uncomfortably in her chest as she faced pure and utter honesty. "you want me?" their fingers stroked his cheek before slipping back, sliding into his hair. "you want to be mine?" the question felt weighted but also like it left room for more questions, which she didn't want. they both needed things to be clear and quickly, before either of them talked themself out of the heartfelt moment they'd created. "i'd... i'd like to try that. just being with someone — being with you. sexually and," her eyes darted away for just a moment, before settling on him again, "otherwise. no other people. just the two of us exploring what we could be?" it felt a little sloppy to them as it came out but they weren't used to this. expressing how she felt was something foreign to flossie but she knew she'd only regret it later if she didn't try.
in the back of his mind, the only true fear he ever had was finding everything he'd ever wanted and simultaneously screwing it up. flossie knew him better than anyone in the world: they knew that at his core he was a simple romantic, someone who only ever wanted to find the right person to see him for who he really was. and in that moment, babbling on and talking and talking, he could see the future play out ahead of him if he said the wrong thing, implied the wrong thing. when his head hit the mattress he felt consumed by that fear again, the nagging feeling that he'd just irreparably destroyed something that he held near and dear to him, but it only lasted long enough for flossie to begin speaking again. when they did, his attention always gravitated to them again, like it had for years and years before. his arms, curled as they were around their body, nestled closer, looser. when she asked, all he could do was stare at her for a while as the words started to pour out. " yeah, " he finally said, leaning forward just enough to dot another kiss onto their forehead, and another one, and one onto their cheeks and their nose. an unsure expression slowly changed into that of a little goofy, boyish smile. " that's . . . yeah. " as always, he is at a loss for words. when they spoke, he couldn't help but stand at attention, like he was finally seeing the light at the end of it. " say you're mine, " he whispered when they finally finished. " say you're mine and that's all you have to say. " a hand gently cupped his friends' jawline, keeping their head steady so they could look one another in the eyes. " look me in the eyes and tell me you're mine, because the second you do, " he paused, deep breath in. " i'll be yours too, and i won't let go of that for anything. " another pause, so he could lean forward and kiss her cheek. " and we can stop being so emotional about it, i can roll over, put you on your back and show you how much you mean to me. i still have so much more about you i need to learn. i just need you to teach me what you like. "
at least it wasn’t one sided — part of flossie thought she was going crazy. this was why it was easier sleeping with strangers. there were no emotions attached. they could just focus on feeling good and having fun. that wasn’t to say it didn’t feel good or fun with allen, because it did, but this wave of feelings wasn’t something that she knew how to process. they’d never been opposed to someone wanting to cuddle in the aftermath but with him she felt as though she needed it. his arms around her felt sure and steady, without them they couldn’t be sure they’d remember do do something as simple as breathe. when her glassy eyes lifted to meet his, she was met with the immediate need to look away. she didn’t though. took in his mused hair, still warm looking cheeks, lips reddened from their kisses. “nothing is wrong,” she insisted because it wasn’t a lie. it might’ve felt wholly confusing but it didn’t feel wrong and perhaps that was the problem. they tucked their head into his neck where they could just breathe deeply, inhale the scent of him and let that do it’s job in soothing them. “you’re my best friend.” it was the first statement she could muster up after a moment, fingers tracing idle patterns on his side. “and i… care about you a lot.” they knew they just had to spit it out. something. anything. flossie getting tongue tied wasn’t a wholly common occurrence but it was rare for them to ever be this sincere. how did she say what she was feeling? that the sweet ache of him between her thighs wouldn’t be enough? that she couldn’t just practice with him until he felt like he was ready for his next girlfriend? swallowing the lump in their throat, their head tipped back to peer at him once more. “i’m just being stupid. i… just forgot how different it feels when you feel that way about someone.” still couldn’t place her finger on just how she felt but maybe she didn’t need to elaborate. maybe he’d understand her? he had so many times before. she shifted once more, resting an arm along the length of the top of his chest so she could rest her chin on it and peer up at him. “i won’t get like this every time it happens. if you still want to, that is?”
it was probably some side effect of living most of his life as an invisible object, but it was fairly easy for him to connect to someone emotionally. it could be considered one of his flaws, the likeliest reason his last girlfriend couldn't handle it. she saw what he was on the outside, what he'd become, the form he'd spent years chiseling out of the person he used to be, but not the emotional, affectionate guy underneath it all. and in the moment it confused him: he'd done everything right, hadn't he ? been a nice guy, been attentive in bed, played by the rules. he thought it was something more. but laying in bed with her, with his arms curled so tightly around her as if he couldn't bare the thought of being by himself anymore, something felt strange. not wrong, but the fact that it didn't feel wrong scared him just as much as it would if it had. " you sure ? " his gaze slowly lowered, only for his eyes to close when she rests herself against the curve of his shoulder again. he slowly ran his hand up and down her spine, comforting as best as he could. when she said that, though, something in his brain clicked. yes, he may be inexperienced, but he's not stupid. something about being such a magnet for emotion for so long is that it makes reading people much, much easier than it should be. " i . . . care about you a lot. " when her head moves enough for him to look into her eyes again, his appearance has visibly softened. " you're . . . you're not being stupid. it's not stupid to care about someone. " they'd already crossed a line, one that he and flossie both knew they couldn't come back from. when she questioned him, allen slowly rest his hand on her ass, only to help pull her face up closer to his. when they were level , one arm casually draped around their body and the other held her jaw, only for him to lean forward and kiss her again. slowly, deeply, with a kind of need he didn't know he had lingering inside him. that could've been answer enough, but after a few moments he slowly backed away, so he could whisper into her mouth. " what if i do still want to, " he began, thumb gently stroking her cheek. " and . . . what if i don't feel like i'm ready to be with anyone else. " he paused, swallowing what felt like a rock in his throat. " what if we just . . . kept doing this, together. and we weren't . . . seeing anyone else, in between. " his eyes opened, terrified at what he'd just said , but there was a certainty there he couldn't make go away. " what if i said i wanted you and only you ? that . . . you're my best friend, that nobody's ever made me feel like that . . . that i want to hold your hand and kiss you in public and all the sappy stuff. " he rambled on a little more until his eyes closed, slumped back on the bed. " forget i said that, i sound so stupid. "