Illusional Luna Forever

être dans la lune

[illusionalluna]

Only in my dreams do you tell me what I want to hear

[illusionalluna]

I think I miss something that was never even real

I think I miss something that was all in my head

[illusionalluna]

How many times do I have to let you treat me like I’m disposable before I realize I am disposable to you

How many times can I allow you to disappoint me before I realize that you are disappointing

I’m surprised I even have any disappointment left

When will you realize their words in action or lack there of have consequences, that they mean something?

How can you not see how fucked up you are, how you treat people like shit and expect to be praised like a God how does the world look from that high horse? I can’t wait until it tosses you off and kicks you while you’re down.

One day, you will realize you are the source of all the expectations you believe others have, you are responsible for the way you allow others to make you feel

Even knowing this, it takes time before it really sets in, look at the questions. I asked myself here how many times before I realize I am responsible for the way I allow other people to make me feel.

And that’s why I can’t let you back in again. I’ve given the space I’ve given the time I’ve put in the effort that I needed to, something I’ll never see from you.

[illusionalluna]

I wanna be yours yours yours yours yours

I don’t wanna look

I don’t wanna see

I just want you to accept you and me

[illusionalluna]

Don’t you want to fall in love with me?

I promise it’s easy if you try

[illusionalluna]

With sticks and pins

I gouge my eyes

I blur what’s real

I drown in lies

I gasp for air

I beg for pain

I look for you

You’re smudged in vain

[illusionalluna]

You are so so far out of reach

And I blind myself to the truth

[illusionalluna]

[illusionalluna]

Why is it always thoughts of you

The one furthest out of reach

The one I know is not the one at all

[illusionalluna]

Like snow on the breeze

I fall with such ease

Down and down,

A spiraling plead

[illusionalluna]

Softly falling

To my own surprise

Downward spiral

Toward my own demise

[illusionalluna]

[illusionalluna]

What am I even chasing anymore

[illusionalluna]

God damnit

Just let me in so I can know

I don’t know if I should try

Or just let go

[illusionalluna]

To be all in

Or to pull away entirely

Why are those my only two options

[illusionalluna]

I’m right back where I started

Feeling lonelier than ever

[illusionalluna]

I think sweet little thoughts

And wish I had the courage

To make them my reality