sorry to everyone who is haunted by my reblogs on their dash i recently went from very high reblogging standards to just reblogging fuck all. i will do it again
Day eleven of cringetober brought to you by @icryink (I’ve fallen behind again)
5+1 things
I was gonna do a cute artihunter fic for this but I couldn’t bring myself to try, since I’m not an author
So have an unrelated frantic fanfic
Image text under the cut
DONT FORGET TO VOTE
CHARACTERS: HOUSE MONSTER (MINOR), "YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE?" GUY
WRITERS: MICHAEL, ARCHIE AND DEV RATED ALL AGES
"Hi have you registered to vote?"
...
"hey, Re you registered to vote in the state of arizona?"
"ugh." a dark beautiful creature takes out her airpop pr and looks in this guys direction. its a hot day out on the UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA campus, the dark fur of the gorgeous house monster isnt helping, and this guy is going to make her late to class. "No, im 17."
"Ah! Well dont worry, when do you turn 18?" asks the guy. wow hes desperate, kinda freaky to get on a minors case like this. come to think of it, when IS the house monsters birthday?
"uh, next month?" she says, lying through her teeth.
"well while you cant vote this season, its never too early or too late to register!" man this guys anoying
"Im a minor leave me alone. Freak" pulling the minor card.
"Well, this is the most important election of your lifetime! You wouldn't want to give up the opportunity to vote simply because you didn't realize you could pre-register!"
"I said, leave me alone!"
"wow, you Gen Z'ers are so assertive! You should use that assertiveness to vote!"
The house monster stared at the man. "I lied. I don't turn 18 anytime soon, okay? Please leave me alone."
"You can still--"
The house monster decided to escalate the situation. Using her deep monster lungs, she fucking screeched like a banshee out of hell, shattering the man's eardrums. It was more powerful than any stupid free whistle that the University could've offered her for free.
The man had, for a second, curled into himself and used his stupid little clipboards to cover his ears. Then, as he slowly begun to stand back up, blood poured from his ears onto his shitty voter registration papers.
"I--" the man began, realizing he couldn't hear his own voice. Then, loudly, he said, "WELL IF YOU CAN'T VOTE, YOU CAN STILL SIGN THIS PETITION FOR WOMENS RIGHTS AND BE ENTERED TO WIN A $250 VISA GIFT CARD." A crowd of now annoyed and deafened college students circled the man and monster.
"SHUT UP!" One heckled.
"WE JUST NEED TO GET TO CLASS!" Another protested.
"MAN THAT MONSTER IS HOT AND SHMEXY, BONCE ALEEERRRT" Sounded a distinct voice from the crowd. It could only be one person. The crowd parted like the Red Sea to reveal: Charlie.
The House Monster screeched again. "I'M? A! MINOORRRRRRR!!!!!!"
"My bad, G," said Charlie, and he disappeared into the throng once more.
The House Monster turned back to the annoying voting guy like a panther eyeing her prey. "Besides," she said coolly. "I have no use for money. I made a bank account in my Host's name and put him into even more debt."
"What?"
"I cannot overstate how much I DO NOT CARE about this election. None of it affects me. In fact, I'm barely surviving this 195F degree heat in this sleek black coat. I have no hands to sign anything with. I barely have a physical form. I. Do. Not. Care."
The voting guy stared in terror, before saying quietly, "Alright. Have a good day..." and stalking off to find another victim.
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