hello | goodbye

Heaven knows that I'm born too late | For these ghosts that I chase | With these dreams, I inflate, painted skies in my brain | Every day, I'm Carl Sagan in space | To escape this old world, this old world... ((Indie Klaus "00.04" Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy. Sideblog, moved back from justholybranches 12/2018))

[thatlastpartsthecatholicism]

((So, I haven’t been around in a while.

Short version is that I haven’t had a lot of muse on here, and then not a lot of muse anywhere. Real life has been a bit crazy, I’m trying to be on tumblr less so I can focus on other things, and in light of all of that I figured it would be best if I officially went on hiatus–not just here, but everywhere.

Don’t worry, I’m okay and no one did anything! You’re all lovely. I just wanted to make it official so that people didn’t wonder if I’d fallen off the earth or died or something. I’ll still be poking my head in occasionally, but actual replies are officially at a halt.

Again, not dead, just hoping to focus on other things in life. I’ve been writing more and that feels good. HMU if you want to know where I am on AO3 and read my dumb schmoopy Apex Legends fics.))

[ilooklikedeath]

musesthroughtheages‌:

“…I guess,” she said at last with a shrug. It still felt wrong. With a sigh, she stood and started to put the groceries away. By hand. It only enforced what was bothering her, but at least it gave her something to do besides think her way through the brick wall of her missing powers. “What did you do? When yours stopped?”

Klaus also put the groceries away by hand, in a gesture of solidarity. “When Dad wasn’t poking me trying to figure out where they’d gone? Uhm...” He sucked air in through his teeth noisily. “I...rested. Uhm, read books and knitted.”

None of that was a lie. He did read books and knit. While smoking weed and drinking. But he could leave that bit out.

“It was kinda nice not having to worry about saving the world. Although I used to get dragged onto the sidelines with Dad and Vanya to watch what was happening. It all looked really boring from up there.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

“Shit, man, that’s really rough…” Squeezing the brakes, Nocome brought the bike to a stop in front of an old trailer. The windows were covered with tin foil and it looked empty, but that was exactly how Nocome got away with living there without notice. Or if people did notice, they didn’t care. “I always thought that the whole super hero thing was sketchy as heck, honestly.”

“Really? That’s so cool! I love ghosts, my boyfriend is a ghost. Oh, that sounds weird, but it’s totally true. Do you talk to a lot of ghosts?”

“It’s incredibly sketchy.” The tin foil was new, but still definitely better than the kind of crack houses he’d stayed in before. “I don’t typically talk to them, unless someone slips me a fifty to talk to a dead relative, but they talk at me a lot. All the time, really. Also, when you say your boyfriend is a ghost...” Klaus’s nose wrinkled slightly. “How do you know? Can you also talk to ghosts? Because if you can, can you take some of mine? They’re incessant.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

“Once, not willingly. It wasn’t pleasant,” he said, hand going to his throat without thinking. He could go into more detail about that incident but Enli didn’t want to, it wasn’t something he liked to think about. He blinked at the string of questions.

“I’m… Enli.” He stopped again, trying to figure out the best way to answer. “I don’t have the urge to eat human flesh but I have. I woke up in a ditch of the side of the road. I’m just me. They killed me and dumped my body and then I woke up but I was– this. Dead.”

“...huh.” Klaus wrinkled his nose in thought. “I mean. That’s not ringing any bells, but like I said I don’t know jack about shit most of the time. I may have a book about shit like that? Somewhere. If you’re fine with coming into the apartment of a total stranger, but...” He giggled. “If you’re not bullshitting me with that beheading thing I don’t think I could kill you if I wanted to. And I don’t, by the way. Not my speed.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

He had been about to say ‘I see’ but he didn’t; when he looked at the spot indicated, Enli saw nothing. No ghost, just empty space. He believed there was, however. There was no reason not to, being what he was. 

“I don’t like being called a zombie but… I guess it’s something like that. I’ve never heard of anything like me, either,” he said, a rattling sigh escaping him. The brief flash of hope at the mention of ghosts was gone. This man didn’t know either. “No one has. I want to know how to fix it but I don’t even know where to start.”

“Did you try beheading?” Oh, was that rude? That was probably rude. “Also, do you have more details about your current affliction? I don’t know much about...uhhhhh, anything, really, but I may have picked something  up along the way. Do you have the urge to drink human blood? Eat human flesh? Do you resemble another person currently dead or previously deceased? Did you wake up in a lab? Also, what’s your name? I’m Klaus.”

[ilooklikedeath]

partsofthemachine‌:

“I… think about… things…” That sounded super convincing. Good job, Number One. “I have several degrees. And I went to space. That didn’t happen without putting thought into it.” Although, at Diego had oh-so helpfully pointed out ad nauseum, it had definitely happened because his father owned the space station. Still, Luther had to put a modicum of planning and thinking into that. It was just other things that he fell short on.

“Myeh.” Klaus waved him off. “That’s not the same thing. We’re just out there doing shit because it seems like a good idea at the time, but dearest brother, let me ask you this...”

His first attempt to put a hand on Luther’s shoulder missed, lightly smacking him in the upper arm instead. Klaus gave himself as light levitation boost and tried again.

“...how much did you actually think about going to the moon? Did you really want to go to the moon? And if so, please explain, because the moon genuinely terrifies me to the point where I can’t go outside some nights. But that might be the uppers.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

“No shit? I’ve never been into super heroes… Seemed like kind of a crappy job when you really get down to it,” she said, slowing the bike down as she pulled into the trailer park. It was less a place for people to live and more a campsite turned home for most. “Hey, at least you know it. Puts you ahead of most rich white dudes, no offense.”

“You know, the old spirits and legends. Not cryptids, that’s completely different, but winter spirits and tricksters like my grandma talks about. That kind of thing. Most people just think it’s nonsense but it’s not anymore nonsense than what other people believe.”

“It did suck ass and it killed my brother. Maybe two, jury is still out on Five.” Klaus looked around the space. It looked a lot nicer than some of the homeless camps he’d hung out in while high or drunk out of his mind, so he’d take it. “I mean, I’ve never met a winter spirit, but I can talk to ghosts, so, y’know, anything is possible.”

[partsofthemachine]

“Claire only stopped crying when Klaus held her because he has the shakes.”

[ilooklikedeath]

“Look, you don’t have to be bitchy about it. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

“What d’you mean, figure out who you are?” In the back of her mind, she thought maybe she knew. There was definitely something familiar about him but Nocome couldn’t figure out if it was because she had seen him before or because, at a certain point, all drunk or high dudes blended together. 

“Ah, well, you know. I don’t follow the ‘approved list of things to believe’ and people get pissy about it. I’m gonna take a pretty tight turn up here so hang on,” she said. “But that’s mostly it. Thanks for thinking I’m okay.”

“I used to be a superhero,” he said casually. “And my dad is rich, so even if they arrest me, I can make bail. Privilege and all that.” He might’ve been fine with exploiting it, but he knew what it was.

“Man, people are so boring.” He drifted out slightly as she took the turn, and his knuckles ached a bit from how hard he was gripping, but his tremor didn’t come back at random, so he was able to hold on. “What non-approved thing are we talking here?”

[ilooklikedeath]

musesthroughtheages‌:

Eleven nodded, looking back at the box on the table. It wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear, but it was the one she was expecting. It made sense.

“I don’t feel…normal,” she said after a moment. “If I don’t have powers…I’m normal? But I’m not.”

Hadn’t she wished, so many times, that she never had powers? But that was always like the other wishes–that Papa would never let her be hurt again, or that she could have grown up in a house with a mother and a father. They were always going to be fantasies. Even without her powers, she couldn’t go back to the start and be Jane.

“I want to be me.”

Here was the thing.

It was really easy--really damn easy!--to tell her that she had worth without her powers, that she shouldn’t define herself solely by them, that she would be okay without them. But that ignored the fact that she’d had them since birth. They were a fact of her life, and not having them around was probably like...losing a limb, maybe. He’d ask Allison, but also that felt insensitive. And seeing how she had a fairly normal relationship with her abilities (unlike literally everyone else he knew with powers), he couldn’t exactly argue that this was good.

“I know what you mean.” He sighed quietly and picked up the box she’d been trying to lift. Traitorous little bastard. It couldn’t even wiggle a little? “Normal is different for everyone. This is normal for other people, but it’s not normal for you. You’re not wrong to feel that way, is what I’m getting at.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

Enli stared, blinking slowly. It should be a simple thing to explain and yet for some reason he found himself floundering, his brain not wanting to cooperate. 

“Ghosts are see-through and not solid,” he said, though he didn’t sound completely sure. Some ghosts could be solid, some ghosts could be touched, or rather he assumed that was possible. “I’m– This is my body, it’s just dead, that’s what I mean. I’m not a spirit, I’m me. Just dead.”

“...so you’re a sentient zombie?” That was the only explanation he could think of. “Sorry, I’ve just...never encountered a dead thing that still had their skin on. Lotta ghosts, let me tell you, there’s one literally right there, right now...”

He gestured over his shoulder, when Ben was silently perched in a corner, watching this with an equally confused expression.

“...but never...just dead.”

[ilooklikedeath]

storiestotell‌:

“Yeah? I guess most people would probably scream or think you’re crazy or something. I get the crazy thing. People think that of me, like, all the time. They just don’t know what they’re talking about,” she said as she began to pedal. At first slowly, but when his grip didn’t waver she sped up a little. 

“Good, ‘cause I don’t really want to get involved with the cops. My situation isn’t exactly stable, you know? Though I’m sure that you have to put up with a lot of that shit, too.” It couldn’t be that easy for someone like him, either. 

“Sometimes. They usually bug me and then leave me alone when they figure out who I am.” That was probably super privileged of him, but he was too high to care. Besides, the shitty childhood gave him some leeway. “Why do people think you’re crazy? You seem okay.”

Okay aside from being pretty chill with his weirdness, but. Fairly non-crazy.

[ilooklikedeath]

/)///v///(\ - nocome

talking about @storiestotell (nocome)

“I dunno, Ben, I think she might actually be crazy. Or like, the most forgiving person on the...no, not because of the Wendigo thing, I believe that. I nearly got killed by robot zombie Gustave Eiffel, of course I believe her. She’s just letting me hang around, y’know?” He leaned back against the sofa and giggled, seemingly talking to thin air. “You already placing bets with your ghost buddies on how long before she kicks me out?”

[ilooklikedeath]

/)///v///(\ (from any/all of siblings?)

talking about @partsofthemachine (five)

“Okay, but you’re sure? Like you’re fucking sure he’s…” Klaus took a deep breath. It was shaking more than he meant it to. Fuck. “No, Diego, I’m not high, I just couldn’t sleep, and fucking…you’re sure? You’re sure he’s actually alive?”

[ilooklikedeath]

/)///v///(\ [from El]

talking about @musesthroughtheages​ (eleven)

“I’m worried. I mean, she’s strong and all, I’m sure she can get through this, but...” He stopped to drop his spent cigarette and pulled another one out of his pocket. “I don’t know if I can help her. And I want to! But shit, I can barely figure out my own issues. She deserves better than what she’s getting...” He sighed out a cloud of smoke. “She deserves so much better than all this shit.”

[rp-memes-cafe]

Send me “/)///v///(\” to see how my muse would talk about yours, to another person.

People tend to speak their minds openly when the subjected person is absent– or seemingly so! Have your muse overhear what they weren’t meant to hear about them!

[ilooklikedeath]

musesthroughtheages‌:

She looked up quickly as he entered, looking almost guilty, and pushed the empty cereal box away from her with her hand, shaking her head.

Why was it so hard? Eleven could barely remember what it was like before the testing started, so remembering how she first learned to do it was next to impossible. It had never been easy, but she’d always been able to, eventually.

Had the Mind Flayer broken something when it failed to kill her?

Though she’d already asked dozens of times, Eleven asked quietly again, “How long?”

“I don’t know.” Those were probably the suckiest combination of words on the planet. Klaus set the bags down (manually, he was trying to use his powers less around the house), and sat down across the table from her. “It’s probably like...breaking a bone or something? That takes a while.”

He’d know. He’d broken more than one bone in his life.

“I wish I had more answers, but I think the best thing you can do right now is relax. Things don’t heal if you keep trying to use them when they’re hurt, you know? It’s like...picking the scab off over and over.” Something else he was familiar with. Damn twitchy fingers.