i mostly write fluff, that's what im comfortable with, but if you'd like it to be a little bit suggestive i can do that! i will NOT be writing incest, in any kind (from step bro to your frog idc) so thank you if you understand. please do not copy my work since i spend a lot of time on these small fics, i view writing as a hobby so if i disappear it's bc i either have no motivation or have no idea what to write or im literally struggling where to go with the fic. my first language isn't english so be aware there WILL be mistakes, i kindly ask if you do notice it please tell me so i can pay more attention to it later on. i appreciate every kind of feedback (unless they are very negative) thank you for all your love. thought I'd make this, also I'm currently writing "um... wuhluhwuh part II" so i hope y'all are as excited as i am for it!
ps.: thank you if you read this and for being patient with me:3
A/n: was listening to better than revenge and thought abt this idea, english isnt my first language this is hella short but i wanted to write something
Not peoofread
Pairing: femreader x ellie
Contains: jealousy, ellie being a dick, ellie is hella mischaracterized for the plot
Your eyes burned with despise as they swayed to the rhythim of the low sound of the music, you watching from afar. You both knew that it was wrog. She did it on purpose. Again. She swayed with Dina, her hands around her waist, smiling down at her. Seeing Ellie dancing with Dina made you furious. You guys weren’t together but watching her dance with someone else like that made you mad. The stolen glances, that night where it was just you and her in the dark, comfessing things you have never told anyone. She knew you are a jealous type, she knew you were watching them. Dina said something to her that made her laugh, your hands twisted into fists, wanting to get inbetween them and punch Ellie in the face. You thought to yourself “how could she?”
You’ve had enough of their flirting, memories flashing into your mind how she touched your hand in dark rooms, how her green eyes sparkled in the light, the sketches she was way too shy to show you, was it all just a game? The baking nights when she would pour flour on your head then kissing it off of your face, watching those dumb 80’s movies together, talking about what anyone could like about coffee when it was just so awful. The way they looked at each other couldn’t be serious or could it? Were you just a pawn in a game?
You went outside, not caring about the cold or how you didn’t have your her jacket with you. The cold breeze made you remember how you shouldn’t care. All you’ve heard is that Ellie’s a player but you wanted to believe the opposite. Could she prove you otherwise? She loved to make you jealous, frown when she touched Dina the way she touched you, she loved to make you feel little cause you always crawled back to her. She always did those things out of spite, but you didn’t want to be affected by it, but she shared parts with you that ahe has never showed anyone, was this dickhead side of her the real her? You questioned as you took the path to your own house and not her garage, you didn’t want to see her tonight. You hoped she wouldn’t show up at your front door vause you would let her in. You always let her in.
The cold air crawled under your skin, your mind couldn’t stop, the twisted images took a great piece in your mind. The sight of your house had a sense of relief in you. As you stepped in and took off your boots, you made your way to the kitchen to make yourself some hot tea to get rid of the cold. You sat down by the window looking around searching it a familiar face would show up. You didn’t want to wait but you did. You always did.
You got up from your seat, but you suddenly heard the knock that was yours and hers specifically, to always know it’s the other. Your heart skipped a beat as you slowly made your way to the front door. You opened it, you were greeted by Ellie, her face red from the cold, the wind blew her bangs in her face.
“Could i come in?” She asked, smiling innocently in your face. That smile always softened you, always worked on you.
“Why would i let you in? You do nothing but hurt my feelings.” You tilted your head staying strong.
“I want to talk about things, about us.” She stepped closer, her hand on the door.
“There is no such thing as us, there never was.” She earned a frown from you which made her chuckle. “Go back to Dina you have nothing to do here.” You wanted to close the door but she stopped it.
“Please. Let’s talk.” She never really used the word ‘please’, that made you think about it for a second.
“Okay. Since you always show up uninvited.” You stepped aside, letting her in.
“But you always have your door open for me even when I show up like this. You love it, don’t deny it.”
She made her way to the couch, petting a seat beside her. “Sit down pretty girl.” You hated how your body obeyed to that nickname immediately, your mind said otherwise.
“So what is it that we need to talk about?” You sighed, looking at her face, nut you couldn’t read it. There was something in her eyes that you haven’t seen before. Was it guilt and regret?
“I care about you and you know that. I like you but you also know th-“
You laughed nut your laugh didn’t hold a piece of happines only sarcasm. “You don’t like me. You like that you play with me and that i stay. You a piece of shit, Ellie, and you know that.” You moved a bit further from her “You never cared about me for a bit, all you do is make me feel hurt and jealous, was it all a game to you?” Tears burned your eyes, you didn’t want to seem weak in front of her but you couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve had enough.”
She just looked at you in disbelief, she took your hand in hers but you pulled away. “Ah come on baby, you know i like you. I always have and you weren’t a fucking game, i meant everything. I like you pretty girl please.” She moved closer to you swiping the tears off of your face. “Please just give me a chance i never meant to hurt you. Ever.” You pulled away, not wanting to face her.
“No, just leave and never come back. I don’t want to see you. “Omce you looked at her there was nothing else but sadness in your eyes. You were done now with her bullshit.
She sighed getting up from her seat. “Maybe one day you’ll change your mind. I’ll be waiting for you.” She got out a piece of hair from your face, touching your face one last time then she walked out and yu hoped you won’t see her again.
synopsis: you said you were okay. said you had plans. said you didn’t care anymore. but the truth has a habit of slipping through the cracks; louder than you want it to be, softer than you’re ready for, and wearing the same eyes you swore you stopped missing. some things just never really leave you, especially when they know exactly where to find you.
warnings: 18+, swearing, emotional distress, panic attack, intense argument, physical altercation (minor), yelling, alcohol use, jealousy, unresolved romantic tension, complicated sibling dynamics, quick mood changes, emotional repression, guilt, crying, regret, angst, and the aftermath of a secret relationship.
authors note: this one’s a long one, so buckle up. i swear i meant to keep it short, but apparently my brain and heart had other plans. thank you so much for all the love on part one!! your comments genuinely mean the world to me. if you haven’t read it yet, definitely do that first so this chapter makes sense (and hurts the right way). also… there might be a little bonus scene coming soon (involving a certain older brother 👀), but no promises. if you manage to read all the way through this, i hope you know how much i love and appreciate you. truly.
part one
you didn’t turn on the lights when you got home.
the dark didn’t bother you. there was enough of the city bleeding through the windows to guide you, just enough for you to not trip. just enough to find the couch like muscle memory.
your keys landed somewhere on the counter. you didn’t check where. you’d stopped caring about details like that a while ago.
you weren’t really much of a drinker. everyone knew that. a lightweight, through and through.
one glass and you were warm. two and you were soft. three and you were falling apart.
jiyong used to joke about it. not in an unkindly way, but more in a best friend type of way.
“you get cuddly first,” he’d say, brushing your hand off his thigh like he didn’t secretly like it. “then mean. then quiet. it’s like a little timeline.”
you would pretend to roll your eyes, but you never denied it.
he always noticed the shift before you did. he was like that; observant in ways you didn’t always want him to be.
he’d notice when your voice pitched higher at the end of your sentences. when you wore long sleeves even when it was warm out. when you twisted the hem of your shirt when you wanted to say something but were too shy to speak up.
he didn’t always ask, but he always knew.
your eyes caught on the unopened bottle of wine beside the sink, still in the gift bag from your last birthday.
you stared at it for too long. like it might disappear if you blinked.
you’d been saving it for something special. some date in the future where you were happy and in love.
apparently heartbreak counted too.
you pulled it out of the bag and twisted the cap off with shaking fingers. no hesitation, just acception.
the first glass disappeared before you even realized you’d finished it. the second sat a little heavier.
by the third, your throat stopped burning when you swallowed.
by the fourth, you were just staring at the tile floor, wondering how it always looked a little bit dirty no matter how often you cleaned it.
your fingers ached. not from anything in particular. just from holding too much.
you left the glass half-full on the coffee table and wandered to your bedroom. your body was tired, but not in the way that made you want to sleep.
you were just, done. like your bones had decided to stop holding you upright.
the dresser drawer got stuck like always. you yanked it open harder than you meant to, causing it to groan in protest.
you reached for something loose. something soft. something that didn’t feel like it would suffocate you.
your hand brushed cotton. worn thin. familiar.
his shirt.
black. faded. a little frayed at the collar. one of the sleeves slightly more stretched than the other.
you hadn’t meant to keep it. or maybe you had. you could never really decide.
he left it here one night after a show. showed up at your door smelling like sweat, cologne and adrenaline. he dropped his jacket on the floor and collapsed onto your bed like it belonged to him.
you remember how he was always so gentle afterward.
after the noise and the chaos. after the mess of you.
he’d hum sometimes when he held you. sort of off-key and quiet. like he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
you’d asked him once why he didn’t just take the shirt home.
“you wear it better,” he said, eyes still closed.
he never asked for it back.
you slipped it over your head before you could talk yourself out of it. it smelled mostly like detergent now. but there was something else too; something almost like him, but fading.
still enough to hurt.
you stood in front of the mirror, tugging at the hem like you didn’t know what else to do with your hands.
“it looks like a damn dress on you,” he’d muttered once, arms around your waist, mouth at your neck.
you’d laughed. “you’re so annoying sometimes.”
he’d grinned against your skin. “you love it.”
and you did. of course you did.
for a second, just a second, you swore you saw him there again. in the mirror behind you. half-asleep, messy hair, and the softest eyes you’d ever seen.
gone.
you didn’t let yourself look twice.
you padded barefoot back to the living room and dropped into the couch like it was waiting to catch you.
it creaked under your weight. it was familiar. the shirt brushed your thighs when you curled up. your knees pulled tight to your chest.
you exhaled slowly as you poured another glass and didn’t taste it as it went down.
grey’s anatomy was already on the screen. low volume. autoplay. not for entertainment, just for something to fill the quiet. something predictable.
the theme song started and you felt it. the ache you’d been holding back all night, rising up like a wave.
because you remembered how you had to beg him to watch it with you for the first time. you remembered how dramatic he was. your head in his lap, and his fingers in your hair.
“just one episode,” you said, dragging out the vowels.
he groaned. “do we have to?”
but he didn’t move when you clicked play.
ten minutes in and he was deeply invested, muttering under his breath. “wait—wait, that’s her boss? what the fuck?”
you laughed so hard you dropped your drink all over the floor.
he was laughing too, mostly at you, but still handed you a napkin.
after that, it became a thing. your thing. every time he stayed the night, you put it on.
he never argued after the first time, just tucked himself against you like a habit he didn’t want to break.
some nights, it felt real.
he’d hold you through an episode and you’d think, maybe. maybe this is more than what we said it was. maybe he’ll stay.
sometimes he did. but mostly, he didn’t.
you blinked hard and snapped yourself out of your train of thought.
someone on screen was crying. someone else was dying. it all sounded the same.
your glass was empty. again. the bottle was almost empty too. you didn’t remember finishing it.
you just shifted deeper into the couch, into the silence, into the memory.
the shirt still clung to your skin. soft. warm.
you hated it.
you hated how this apartment still looked like it was waiting for him. how every room felt a little off-balance.
how every silence sounded like something he forgot to say.
you missed him.
not the sex. not the late-night texts. not even the breathless, messy way he used to kiss you when you pulled him in too fast.
you missed the quiet things.
the way he made tea without asking. how he always gave you the mug with the chipped rim because you said it was your favorite. how he pulled his knees up on the couch when he was cold but never said it out loud.
how he used to press his lips to your temple and murmur, “you’re too much,” in the same tone people use to say i love you.
you missed the parts of him he didn’t show anyone else.
you wiped your eyes with the collar of his shirt, when your phone suddenly buzzed.
just once.
you flinched, then stared.
the soft glow of the screen lit up the table.
no one had texted you all night. they all thought you were on a date.
finally, you leaned forward to see the screen more clearly.
jiyong: seunghyun’s asking if you got home okay. figured i’d check so he’ll stop hovering.
your chest hollowed. you stared at the message like it might rearrange itself into something that made sense.
you let your head fall back against the couch, and exhaled through your teeth.
liar.
you knew seunghyun hadn’t said anything. he would have messaged you himself.
jiyong just needed an excuse. this was his way of knocking without knocking. caring without crossing a line.
of saying i’m still thinking about you without letting the words leave a mark.
you didn’t reply. mostly because you didn’t know what to say.
the only options you could think of were,
yes. i got home.
i’m fine.
i’m wearing your shirt and crying over the way you used to make me laugh during the commercials.
your eyes burned. you pressed your fingers to your face and stayed like that.
still. quiet. waiting for something to give, and to your surprise, something did.
the knock was soft.
you didn’t move.
at first, you thought it was the tv or maybe your imagination. maybe you wanted it to be someone else so badly that your mind was just inventing things.
but then it came again, firmer this time. not urgent. not polite either. like whoever it was knew exactly how much pressure to apply to say ‘i know you’re home’.
you pushed yourself off the couch.
everything felt heavier than it should’ve; your legs, your arms, the weight of your chest. like gravity was suddenly stronger in this apartment. like your body didn’t want you to answer the door.
and maybe you shouldn’t have.
because when you opened it and saw him standing there — hood up, face red from the cold or maybe from running, chest heaving like he hadn’t stopped to think before showing up — you froze.
you didn’t say anything. you didn’t have to.
your body reacted before your brain did. your hand gripping was the door, and starting to slam it shut like a reflex.
but his hand was already there. flat against the wood. not forceful, not aggressive. but steady.
steady, like he knew you’d do that. like he deserved it. like he didn’t plan to move until you forced him to.
“y/n—wait.”
his voice was soft. strained. almost careful.
you stared at the edge of the door where his hand met it. your own knuckles had gone white around the handle. your throat burned.
he didn’t push the door open. didn’t beg on his knees.
just breathed. “please.”
you hated the way your fingers relaxed, and hated it more when you stepped back.
you didn’t want him in your apartment. didn’t want him in your space, in your air, or anywhere near the unraveling mess you’d been trying to clean up since the night he left.
but the door opened anyway.
he didn’t move, not right away.
he just stood there; eyes wide under the edge of his hood, blinking like he wasn’t sure you’d actually let him in.
“what do you want, jiyong?” your voice was sharp. sharp enough to sting. not because you meant to hurt him, but because it hurt to say his name out loud again.
he flinched, just barely. “you didn’t answer my message.”
you scoffed, turning back toward the couch. “that’s not usually an emergency.”
“you said you were going on a date.”
you didn’t look at him. “so?”
“and you’re here,” he said. “wearing my shirt. drinking. alone.”
your spine straightened. “so what? you came to shame me for lying?”
he blinked. “no. i came because i was worried.”
you stopped, just for a beat, but he caught it. the flicker. the crack in your armor.
you covered it fast. “you don’t get to worry about me anymore,” you muttered, walking back into the apartment.
you didn’t tell him to follow.
but he did. you knew he would.
because that’s what he always did; came close enough to make it hurt, then pulled back the second you reached for him.
the tv was still playing. volume low and characters mouthing drama you had already heard before.
you dropped into the couch like you’d never left it. like your body already remembered how to be this low.
your fingers wrapped around the stem of the wine glass like it was a lifeline. and maybe it was. it was the only thing in this room that hadn’t walked away from you.
he hovered for a second. didn’t sit. didn’t speak.
but eventually he moved. walked around the table and dropped onto the edge of it, elbows on his knees, close enough to touch you but not stupid enough to try.
his eyes scanned your face. the puffy lids. the tear-dried cheeks. the shirt that used to be his.
his voice was quieter when it came. “how much have you had?”
“not enough.”
he exhaled. “y/n—”
“don’t.” you said sharply as you tipped the glass toward your mouth.
and he took it. without even asking.
your eyes cut to him. “what the fuck are you doing?”
“you’ve had enough.”
“you don’t get to say that,” you snapped. “you don’t get to come here, uninvited, and act like you give a shit.”
he didn’t argue. just tipped the glass back and drank the rest in one mouthful.
your mouth fell open. “you hate wine.”
“yeah,” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “but you hate it more.”
and there it was. the fuse.
you laughed. sharp. humorless. “fuck you.”
his eyes flashed. “y/n—”
“no. fuck you. you’re not allowed to say things like that to me anymore.”
“i didn’t come here to fight.”
“no? then why did you come? to feel better about yourself? to make sure i’m still heartbroken enough for your ego to stay intact?”
“you think that’s what this is?” he said, almost sounding offended you would think that lowly of him.
“isn’t it?” your voice rose. “what, you saw me in rehearsal and couldn’t handle the idea of me going on a date? you saw me smiling about someone else and had to remind yourself i still belong to you?”
his jaw clenched.
you stood up.
“you told me we were a mistake,” you said. “you told me we never should’ve happened. and now what, you’re mad because i’m not sitting around pining for you anymore?”
“it’s been a month, y/n.”
“and whose fucking fault is that?”
he stood now too. “what do you want me to say?”
“i want you to hurt the way i hurt,” you snapped. “i want you to feel what it’s like to have your chest torn in half every time someone says your name. i want you to live with the fucking silence you left me in. i want you to be just as ruined as i am.”
he didn’t say anything. not at first. his hands stayed clenched at his sides.
your fists hit his chest. weak. shaking. “say something. fight back. do something.”
nothing.
so you shoved him again.
“don’t you dare stand there and act like you’re the victim,” you sobbed, shoving at him with all the force your body could gather. “say something, jiyong. scream at me. tell me you hate me. fucking lie if you have to, just—”
“fine,” he exploded. “you want me to scream? i’ll fucking scream.”
your chest snapped tight. but you didn’t back down.
“you think i wanted to leave?” he barked, louder now. “you think i wanted to walk away from the only person who’s ever—who fucking saw me? you think it didn’t kill me to do that?”
“then why’d you do it, jiyong?” you threw back. “if it hurt so bad, why the hell did you choose it?”
“because i didn’t know how else to protect you!” his voice cracked, sharp and fraying. “you’re my best friend’s little sister. i was never supposed to touch you, let alone fall for you.”
you scoffed. “yeah. i was never supposed to happen, right? just one big fucking—”
“you’re not a mistake!” he screamed, stepping closer. “but do you think hyung would’ve forgiven me if he found out? do you think i would’ve forgiven myself?”
“so instead you just fucked me and left.”
he flinched like you slapped him.
“don’t you dare.” his voice dropped lower, darker. “don’t fucking reduce us to that.”
“why not?” you shot back. “that’s exactly what you did.”
“because it wasn’t just sex and you know that!” he shouted. “you know exactly what it was between us and you’re acting like it was nothing just so you can be the one who’s hurting more!”
“i am the one who’s hurting more—”
“bullshit!” he roared, suddenly even more furious. “you don’t get to fucking claim that, y/n. you have no idea what this past month has been like for me. i’ve been going insane. i haven’t slept. i can’t eat. i’ve been replaying every fucking moment in my head, wondering how the hell i’m supposed to keep breathing when you won’t even look at me.”
you blinked hard, like the tears burning your eyes were somehow his fault.
“what do you want me to say?” your voice cracked. “that i’m sorry you chose to leave? sorry i listened when you told me it was over?”
he scoffed. actually scoffed. “don’t put this all on me.”
you stepped back like he’d shoved you. “you said it was a mistake.”
“i said it because i didn’t know how else to let you go!” he shouted. “i said it because it was the only thing that would make you hate me enough to stop loving me!”
you froze, but he didn’t stop.
“you think this was easy for me?” his voice broke on the edges but the fire didn’t die. “you think i wanted to walk away from you? i’ve spent the last month trying to pretend like i don’t see you in every goddamn room we walk into. do you know what that’s like?”
you didn’t answer. your jaw locked.
“no,” he said, stepping closer. “you don’t. because clearly you’ve been too busy drowning in wine and watching tv in my fucking shirt—”
“fuck you—” you tried to retaliate, but he wasn’t done.
“—like we were nothing but a hookup.”
your lungs started to feel heavier.
“like i didn’t hold you almost every night,” he snapped. “like you didn’t kiss me like i was the only thing keeping you grounded. like you didn’t mean it.”
you shook your head, voice quieter now. “shut up, jiyong”
“i should have never touched you. i should’ve stayed the hell away.” he said, eyes wild.
“you were never supposed to be mine.” he shouted, fists clenched like the words were fighting to tear out of him. “i should’ve walked the fuck away the second i started looking at you differently”
you still didn’t speak. you couldn’t.
and he saw it. the way your lips trembled. the way your hands twitched at your sides like they didn’t know what to do.
so he kept going, mostly because he was already in too deep.
“but i didn’t,” he snarled. “because i was selfish. because you looked at me like i was someone worth ruining everything for, and i—i let you.”
his voice cracked on the last word. but he didn’t slow down.
“i let you. i let you kiss me like i meant something, i let you crawl into my bed and into my fucking life like it wasn’t going to destroy me.”
you physically flinched, and he saw it.
“i spent months pretending it was just physical,” he spat, eyes burning. “like holding you didn’t feel like breathing for the first time. like hearing your laugh didn’t fucking gut me. like i didn’t fall asleep every goddamn night with your name in my head because i love you and i fucking hate that i do—”
you stopped breathing, but he didn’t.
because he didn’t even realize what he’d said. he was too far gone. too angry. too hurt.
“—i hate that i love you,” he kept going, louder now, rawer, “i hate that i can’t fucking stop, i hate that i still see you in everything i do, and i hate that you’re looking at me like i’m the one who gave up when i never fucking wanted to leave in the first place!”
his face was wet. his voice was shaking. he wasn’t yelling anymore, he was pleading. unraveling.
and still, you didn’t move.
your eyes were wide, cheeks drenched in tears, your chest starting to hitch like every breath scraped the inside of your ribs. your mouth opened, just slightly, but no sound came out.
he saw it immediately.
the way your fingers twitched at your side. the tapping; middle to thumb, over and over. how your shoulders tensed, your jaw clenched, the way your teeth sank into the inside of your cheek like you didn’t even realize you were doing it.
“fuck,” he whispered, his anger breaking like glass beneath him. “no, no—baby, hey—”
but you were already backing up. slowly. stumbling one step at a time, like distance would fix the fire clawing up your throat. your breaths came faster. louder. more shallow. like your lungs had started folding in on themselves.
he followed you without thinking.
“y/n,” he said again, lower, moving with you, softening. “y/n, baby, look at me. please.”
you tried. god, you really tried. your mouth moved like you were trying to answer, to scream at him, to curse his name, but nothing came out. just air. broken and sharp. each inhale shallower than the last.
“you don’t—” you only got one word out. maybe two. your voice didn’t sound like yours.
your back hit the hallway wall, snapping you back into reality for only a quick moment.
you pressed your palms to it like it might keep you up. like you could push yourself back into your body if you just held on hard enough.
but your body had already given up on you.
you collapsed forward, hard and fast. chest folding, legs buckling, and a sob ripped straight from your lungs.
he caught you instantly. mid-fall, arms locking around you with instinctive force. his back slammed into the wall behind him as he dragged you down with him, pulling you into his lap, shielding you from the floor like it was something that could break you worse than this.
you didn’t care. you thrashed in his grip. wild, broken, and feral.
your fists landed wherever they could. his chest, his arms, the side of his neck. your nails scraped, your elbows dug, your legs kicked out as your body folded into itself and tried to fight its way out.
“get off me—get the fuck off—i hate you—” your voice cracked and fell apart, less a scream than a sob torn open mid-breath. “i hate you, i fucking hate you—”
“i know,” he said softly, one hand steady on your back, the other at the back of your head. “i know, sweetheart. it’s okay. you can hate me.”
he was just as scared as you were, if not more. but, he knew he needed to force himself to stay calm. if not for himself, than for you.
you still bucked against him again violently, like your body couldn’t survive being held.
“why,” you gasped, the word barely audible. “why—why would you—say that—why—”
your lungs stuttered, breath catching like it had to claw its way out. you couldn’t stop shaking. you couldn’t breathe either.
“i can’t—” you choked out, voice splitting down the middle. “i can’t—breathe—i can’t—fucking—breathe—”
your hands clawed at your ribs. at your throat. at anything.
“fuck—baby—look at me, please—” he whispered, his voice rough with panic. “y/n—just look at me—come on, pretty girl—”
your eyes snapped up to his. and that’s when he saw it.
not hate. not rage. pure terror. not of him, but of the fight and of what he’d said.
you were afraid of your own body. of the panic. of what it was doing to you. worst of all, you were afraid it wouldn’t stop.
his entire face shattered.
“okay,” he breathed, hand shifting to cup the side of your head, cradling you as gently as he could. “okay. come here. come closer, baby, i’ve got you—just stay right here with me—”
you didn’t mean to collapse into him, but you did.
your head dropped forward, landing against his chest like it remembered the way. like it had always belonged there.
and the second it happened, everything shifted. the sound of his heartbeat was deep and steady. so loud beneath your ear, it crashed into you like a wave.
your fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie.
his other hand came up, pressing flat to your chest, firm and grounding. like he could hold your heart in place.
“you feel that?” he murmured, voice cracking again. “that beat—you know it. you’ve fallen asleep to it.”
your sobs faltered, just barely. a single jagged hitch caught in your throat.
“you’ve calmed to it before,” he said quietly, his forehead coming down to rest against yours. “you told me once when you were half asleep that it made you feel like nothing could ever hurt you.”
your body gave the smallest tremor, but you didn’t lift your head. you didn’t pull away either.
“i’m sorry,” he whispered suddenly, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. “i’m so fucking sorry for yelling. for everything. you didn’t deserve that. i was scared, and i said the wrong things, and i hurt you. i know that. i’m so sorry.”
his hand on your chest stayed right there. steady. anchoring. his thumb rubbed soft, careful strokes against your collarbone.
you were still gasping. still sobbing. still shaking so violently you felt like you might unravel in his arms, but your ear was still on his heartbeat.
his arms folded tighter around you. his body curled in, protecting, cradling, like he could shield you from whatever part of yourself was breaking.
“you’re doing so good,” he breathed, pressing a kiss to your temple. “you’re here with me. you’re still here. just keep holding on. i’ve got you.”
“hurts,” you sobbed. “it—it hurts—i can’t—”
“i know. i know, sweet girl,” he whispered, his voice breaking entirely. “i’m right here. i’ve got you. you’re safe now, i promise.”
your whole body jolted with another sob, but your grip didn’t loosen. he pulled you in tighter, if that was even possible, curling his entire body around yours even more.
“stay with me,” he whispered, again and again. “stay with me, darling. you’re safe here.”
and still, your ear stayed pressed to his chest. his hand stayed pressed to your chest. your tears soaked through the fabric of his hoodie.
but he didn’t let go. not even for a second.
your next breath came in slow. it was shaky, uneven, but deep enough to count.
your lungs burned, ribs still tight, but air finally filled them. finally.
jiyong felt it beneath the hand still splayed over your chest.
his own chest rose with it. his eyes fluttered closed for a second.
“that’s it,” he whispered, voice hoarse with something reverent. “there’s my girl. that’s it, baby. good job. i’ve got you.”
your fingers tightened in his hoodie again as you buried your face in the hollow of his neck, like the world would be softer in the spaces between his skin.
his hand stayed steady, rubbing slow circles into your back. and for a long, quiet minute, neither of you spoke.
until your voice, barely a whisper, cracked through the silence.
“jiyong…”
your voice cracked around his name; quiet, hoarse, frayed at the edges like the rest of you.
he dipped his head downwards at the sound of your voice, his nose brushing against your temple, and his arms already adjusting to hold you closer.
“i’m right here, angel,” he murmured, like it was the most obvious truth in the world. “i’m not going anywhere.”
you tried to swallow, but your throat felt like it was lined with glass.
“i’m sorry.”
his hand instantly moved. one palm still over your chest, but the other rising to cradle your jaw, as gently as if you were made of porcelain.
“no, sweetheart. no,” he whispered, eyes searching yours. “you don’t ever have to say that to me.”
you blinked, fighting back another wave of tears.
“but i yelled at you,” you whispered. “i hit you. i said things i didn’t mean. i just—i didn’t know what to do—i didn’t know how to stop it, ji, i didn’t know how to come back—”
“baby,” he said softly, stroking your hair, “you don’t have to come back alone. not ever.”
his thumb brushed your cheek. “you were scared. i know. i saw it all over you. but you still held on. that’s all i’ll ever ask of you.”
your breath hitched again.
“it’s never been that bad before,” you whispered. “i thought—i thought something was really wrong with me. i couldn’t breathe. i thought i was dying, ji. i was so scared.”
“i know, love. i know you were,” he whispered. “i was scared too.”
he tilted his head down further, resting his forehead against yours, his nose brushing yours so gently it felt like comfort itself.
“but you’re here now. you’re safe. and you didn’t do anything wrong. you hear me? not one single thing.”
you nodded shakily.
without thinking, you nestled yourself even deeper into his chest, curling your arm around his waist.
his entire body moved to make room for you like it was instinct, like he was always meant to hold you just like this.
he kissed the crown of your head. “you wanna know one of my favourite memories of you? maybe it’ll help ease your mind a little.” he asked gently.
your brows knit slightly, a tired little hum leaving your lips.
he smiled softly. “it was, what—eight months ago? the night after tour rehearsals, when we all went out for dinner. you had, like… two drinks. maybe. and you were absolutely gone.”
your cheek shifted against his chest. almost like it would have been a laugh if you had more energy.
“and then, of course,” he continued, his voice light, warm, “it started pouring rain, and you didn’t wanna wait for a car. nooo, you just needed to walk. claimed it was more ‘cinematic.’”
you exhaled hard. “i’m gonna pretend i didn’t say that.”
“too late,” he grinned. “you marched us through the rain like it was a movie scene. we got to mine drenched to hell and back. i tossed the boys some clothes from the closet — because, yes, i steal their stuff — and told you to find something comfortable.”
you groaned softly into his shirt, not liking where this was going.
“you came out ten minutes later in one of my huge ‘i <3 GD’ hoodies and a pair of my boxers like it was the most normal thing in the world.”
you winced. “oh my god.”
“you weren’t even fazed. you just wandered in, soaking wet, hair brushed back, no makeup — looking so stunning, by the way — and dae immediately started clapping. bae even offered you a damn flower he found lying around.”
you huffed a little through your nose. “what did seunghyun do?”
jiyong had to fight a grin. “he stared like he was about to combust. but it gets even better. once you realized how mad he was, you climbed up onto the coffee table.”
you groaned again out of embarrassment.
“you started doing poses,” he laughed. “like a full-on vogue photoshoot. slow turns. hair flips. you pointed at your hoodie and winked at him. hyung looked like he was gonna explode.”
his voice dropped, slipping into a hilariously deep tone,
“‘yah! you better not love GD like that!’”
you let out a little hiccup of a laugh involuntarily. jiyong froze. he looked down at you, a smile slowly creeping in.
“did you just hiccup?” he whispered, grinning. “are you giggling at me right now?”
your shoulders shrugged up a little, your cheek still hidden against his chest. “no.”
“liar,” he said softly, brushing his nose against your temple. “anyways, he stormed over, yanked you off the table like a ragdoll, tossed you over his shoulder, and body-slammed you onto the couch. then he started scolding you about ‘dignity’ and ‘respect’ while you snuggled into him and passed out mid-lecture.”
you laughed softly again, this time for longer.
jiyong rested his chin on the top of your head, his hand still stroking your back. “you passed out between the both of us. totally content. we all just gave up and stayed there the whole night. all five of us slept in the living room.”
your fingers flexed against his waist.
“you don’t even remember it,” he added, quieter now. “but i do. every second of it. you looked so happy. so comfortable. like you knew you belonged there. and i think…”
he paused. exhaled slowly. “i think that was the first time i realized i was in love with you.”
your breath caught again. not in panic this time, not from fear either, but from the weight of everything he’d just said.
from how gently he held it all. how gently he held you.
his thumb brushed beneath your eye, collecting what was left of your tears. he nodded slowly, like it still scared him to say it out loud.
“i didn’t mean to,” he said softly. “i think it just sort of happened. you were standing on my coffee table in my hoodie and boxers, looking like the absolute troublemaker you are, purposely trying to piss your brother off, and i remember thinking, ‘yeah. that’s it. i’m screwed.’”
you stayed quiet for a beat, watching the way his lashes trembled slightly when he blinked. the way his hand never stopped tracing little lines into your back. his chest rising and falling beneath your cheek.
you tilted your head to look up at him. “you know i’m in love with you too, right?”
his breath hitched so hard it sounded like a hiccup.
his eyes snapped to yours. “you’re—wait. what?”
your lips tugged up, a soft smile blooming through the fog of emotion. “jiyong.”
“you’re—” he blinked. once. twice. “you’re in love with me?”
“you really didn’t know?”
his whole face twisted, like you’d just told him the sky was purple and he’d somehow never noticed. “no?! you—you said you hated me for months.”
you laughed, quiet but real. “well yeah, because you were being an idiot.”
his jaw dropped a little. “i—okay, valid, but still—”
“you didn’t even wonder?” you asked, leaning your chin on his chest. “not once?”
he shook his head slowly, still dazed. “i was too busy trying not to lose you.”
your heart clenched, because you’d spent so long trying not to lose him.
you exhaled with barely a sound. your hand curled into the front of his hoodie. “i think i’ve been in love with you for longer than i even realized.”
you felt him freeze under you, almost like he couldn’t breathe, but you kept going, voice quiet but steady.
“it wasn’t one exact moment. it was a hundred little ones. when you’d wait for me after practice without ever saying why. when you’d bring me food without asking. when you made me laugh on days i wanted to disappear. when you looked at me like i wasn’t broken.”
you tilted your head just enough to meet his eyes.
his lashes were damp. his grip on your waist tightened just slightly, like he needed to hold onto you to stay grounded
“i love how stupid you are about your skincare,” you whispered, smiling through it. “i love that you care too much. i love that you act all cocky and untouchable but you’re just—” your voice cracked, but you smiled anyway. “you’re just you. and i’ve never felt happier and safer than when i’m with you.”
he still hadn’t said anything. just looked at you like the weight of your words hadn’t quite settled yet. like maybe they never would.
then, quieter than before, and rough with feeling, “come here.” he said.
you blinked, lips tugging into a small smile. “i’m already in your lap.”
his fingers flexed a little at your waist. “yeah, but it’s not close enough.”
you huffed a soft laugh and leaned up just enough to meet his eyes. “you’re ridiculous,” you whispered, smiling. “and maybe a little obsessed.”
his mouth twitched, eyes soft. “can you blame me?”
still grinning, you shifted in his lap; tucking your arms around his neck, pressing in closer until your nose brushed the space beneath his ear. and the second you did, he folded into it like he’d been waiting his whole life for that exact closeness.
his arms came around you fully. warm. sure.
“you really mean it?” he murmured, voice barely there. “you love love me?”
you pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “jiyong. do you seriously think i could fake all of that?”
he opened his mouth. closed it. let out a slightly choked breath. “i don’t know! you’re a very convincing liar sometimes!”
you laughed quietly against him. “i’m not that good.”
he stared at you for a second, like he couldn’t quite believe you were real, then let out a breath that sounded like it had been holding him together.
“cool,” he mumbled. “cool cool cool. i’m in so much trouble.”
you grinned against his chest. “because you’re in love with me?”
“because i’m so in love with you,” he muttered, like it was a crime. “and now you’ve gone and said it back, and i’m never recovering.”
you giggled as he kissed your hair again, dramatic and a little breathless, almost like he was surrendering.
you shifted back down slightly so that your cheek was resting over his heart again when the silence shifted. not heavy like before, but softer now. calmer. like the part of a storm when the winds quiet, and the rain doesn’t hurt anymore.
you could feel his heartbeat picking up again. not frantic like when you’d panicked earlier, but fluttering. fast. like it was excited. nervous. happy.
you smiled a little against his chest. “your heart’s going crazy.”
jiyong let out a quiet breath through his nose, the kind that barely reached the air. “yeah, well,” he murmured, fingers brushing gently through your hair, “it does that when you’re around. it’s not really something i can control.”
you tilted your head, just enough to look up at him. his cheeks were still pink.
“i thought you were supposed to be the cool one,” you whispered, soft and teasing. “all that swagger and bravado, and you’re over here blushing.”
he gave you a look. like he wanted to come up with something clever, something cocky, but it never made it past his lips. instead, he just smiled.
he squinted down at you. “you’re literally wrapped in my shirt right now and talking shit?”
“just calling it how i see it,” you whispered dramatically, lips twitching.
“you’re lucky i’m in love with you.”
you tried to hide your smile in his chest again. “i know i am.”
you stayed like that for a while longer. just breathing. wrapped around each other like maybe, if you stayed still enough, time would forget to move forward.
his hand never stopped tracing slow circles into your back. your cheek stayed pressed to his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat still grounding you. the world was quiet here. warm. almost like it had always been waiting for you both to catch up.
“okay,” he said eventually, voice warm against your ear. “as much as i’m enjoying this whole heart-to-heart-on-the-floor moment, my back is gonna give out if we stay on the floor much longer.”
you laughed quietly. “okay, old man.”
“watch it,” he muttered, but there was a smile in his voice as he tightened his arms around you.
and then, without any warning, he stood. lifting you off the floor with ease.
you yelped, clinging to him. “jiyong!”
“shhh,” he teased, voice smug as hell. “don’t fight it. you’ve definitely wanted this treatment since day one.”
“emotional intimacy and a bridal carry?”
“exactly,” he said smoothly, heading down the hallway. “welcome to the deluxe package, baby.”
you buried your face in his neck, smiling despite yourself.
he carried you into your room like it was second nature, like he’d done it a hundred times. and when he placed you down on the bed, he did it so gently, as if you were something precious and breakable. his hands lingered at your waist for a beat before he straightened up.
“don’t move,” he murmured, brushing his thumb gently across your temple to move your hair out of your face. “i’m gonna get you some water.”
you stirred just slightly, your voice quiet. “you don’t have to do that.”
“i know,” he said, and kissed your forehead like it was second nature. “but i want to.”
he left with careful footsteps, and for a few long seconds, the silence stretched around you. soft. steady. your body had curled in on itself, arms tucked between your legs like a barrier, but you weren’t shaking anymore. just breathing, finally breathing.
when he came back, he nudged the door open with his hip, and had two glasses of water balanced in his hands.
“here, sweetheart,” he said softly, making his way over. “slow sips, yeah?”
you sat up just enough to take one, hands reaching out automatically, and that’s when he noticed.
your arms had been tucked under your thighs, clenched close to your body. now, as your fingers curled around the glass, he caught the faint tremble in them. the way your thumb rubbed absently over your opposite forearm. the little things he always noticed, even when you didn’t even know you were doing it.
his gaze softened. “baby.”
you looked up at him, brows lifting slightly.
“you’re cold,” he said quietly, already setting his own glass aside.
“i’m not—”
“you are,” he said, without the slightest hesitation. “i can always tell. your body tells me even when you don’t want me to know.”
you opened your mouth like you might argue, but nothing came out. maybe because you knew he was right. or maybe because, before you could even respond, he was already tugging the hem of his hoodie over his head.
the fabric stretched. his hair ruffled with static. and something about the way he did it made your chest feel warm in a way that had nothing to do with body temperature.
he held it out with a crooked little smile and a tilt of his head. “arms up, trouble.”
you rolled your eyes, cheeks going pink. “you’re ridiculous.”
“mhmm,” he hummed, carefully helping guide the sleeves over your arms. “and you’re freezing.”
the hoodie was just as soft as you remembered. still worn-in and familiar, like every version of comfort was stitched into the fabric. it smelled like him, too. that clean mix of laundry and cologne and something warmer underneath. something that always felt like home.
still warm from his body, it settled over your shoulders like it remembered you. like it had been waiting.
he pulled you in gently, settling back against the pillows with a quiet sigh like he’d been waiting all night to do this. your head rested on his chest while your hand rested lightly over his heart, and the way he tucked you under the blanket, like muscle memory, made something deep in your chest finally relax.
he grabbed the remote off the nightstand and flipped on the tv, the quiet glow lighting up both your faces. the familiar red netflix logo bloomed on screen.
you peeked up, curious. “what are you putting on?”
“just… trust me,” he said softly, scrolling through the profiles.
yours. his. seunghyun’s. youngbae’s. daesung’s. all with different ridiculous icons.
he paused on his own, displaying the little gold crown avatar you’d picked months ago just to mess with him. he never changed it.
he clicked into it, and sitting right at the top of continue watching, was grey’s anatomy.
you blinked. “…really?”
he didn’t look at you. just scrolled over to it and hit play like he hadn’t just made a silent confession.
you lifted your head slightly. “i thought you hated this show.”
he shrugged. “i didn’t hate it.”
“you said it was ‘an emotional hostage situation.’”
“and it was,” he muttered. “that crash came out of nowhere.”
you grinned. “we stopped it right at the end. left it on a cliffhanger.”
“yeah,” he said, quieter now. “because we thought we’d finish it the next day.”
your smile faded a little. his hand smoothed over your arm, slow and comforting, like he could feel the shift in your chest.
“i kept thinking about it,” he admitted. “the next part. what happened. but i couldn’t bring myself to keep watching it without you. even though i know you’ve already seen it all.”
you didn’t answer right away. just curled in tighter, your fingers curling gently in the fabric of his shirt. “jiji…” you murmured. “you don’t have to put it on just for me. we can watch anything.”
“no,” he said, almost instantly. “i want this. it feels right. you. me. this dumb show you made me pretend not to like.”
you smiled against him. “you used to say you never paid attention.”
“i paid so much attention,” he whispered dramatically. “i was emotionally invested. i just didn’t want you to know.”
you laughed, nose brushing his neck. “you’re ridiculous.”
“and in love,” he said, kissing your hair. “now hush. i’ve been on this cliffhanger for a month.”
you giggled as the episode started, and his arms tightened around you just a little more.
neither of you moved for a long time. just your breathing, his heartbeat, and the comforting hum of something familiar filling the room again, like you’d finally picked up right where you left off.
his heartbeat was still rather quick. still fluttering beneath your cheek like it hadn’t caught up to everything yet.
you smiled against his chest. “your heart’s still going crazy.”
“yeah,” he murmured. “i told you it does that when i’m in love.”
your breath caught. not because you didn’t already know, but because he said it like it was the easiest truth he’d ever known. like loving you had never been a question.
you didn’t say anything right away. just let your eyes fall shut, let yourself breathe him in. soak in the way his arms wrapped tighter like he was anchoring himself to you.
he was quiet too, until he wasn’t.
“…y/n.” his voice cracked. just a little. barely there.
you blinked, not lifting your head. “hmm?”
he didn’t answer at first. his thumb had been tracing your hip lazily, but now it moved with more purpose, like it was trying to ground him. or you. or maybe both.
you felt him swallow. then, almost too quietly to hear, he whispered, “can you sit up? i—i wanna look at you.”
you blinked, already worried. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing,” he said quickly, eyes flicking to yours for a second before shifting away. “i just—i can’t say this while you’re laying on me. i’ll chicken out.”
you shifted slowly, pushing yourself up onto one elbow, then moving with him as he sat up slightly against the headboard. his knees bent, yours pulled close. you settled beside him.
he wouldn’t look at you. not yet. his hands fidgeted at his lap until you reached over and gently took one of them in yours. you laced your fingers through his and brushed your thumb across his skin.
he exhaled. it was shaky, but you could tell it helped ground him a little.
“this is probably gonna come out all wrong,” he muttered. “and it’s not even a big deal, it’s just—no, that’s a lie. it’s a big deal. it’s always been a big deal.”
you squeezed his hand. he looked down, then up at the ceiling, then finally, finally turned to meet your gaze. his voice was low.
“i thought i could live with just pieces of you,” he said. “i thought i’d convinced myself that was enough.”
your breath caught.
“but it wasn’t,” he went on, his eyes wide, honest and terrified. “it never was. every time i left, i left a part of myself with you. and every time i pretended it didn’t matter, i swear it killed something in me.”
your chest ached, but you stayed silent.
“you walked into a room and everything else faded. like—like static going quiet. like i could finally breathe. even when we weren’t talking. even when we were pretending none of it meant anything. it still felt like…everything.”
his grip on your hand tightened as he continued.
“and when you told me you loved me earlier, i think my heart actually stopped. i’ve wanted to hear those words for so long, i almost didn’t believe it.”
his voice cracked again. he blinked fast, causing one single tear to slip free.
“but i don’t want to love you in secret anymore. i don’t want to sneak around, or lie, or act like i’m not the luckiest person in the world just to know you.”
you reached up and wiped the tear from his cheek, your hand lingering there. his eyes fluttered shut beneath your touch.
“i love you,” he whispered. “so much i don’t know what to do with it most days. but i know what i want to do now. what i’ve always wanted to do, but was never brave enough.”
he opened his eyes, gaze steady now, more sure with every word.
“i want to choose you. out loud. every single day. not just in the quiet. not just when no one’s looking. i want the real thing. i want you. in every single way.”
you swallowed hard, your eyes already stinging.
his thumb lingered against your cheek, and you could feel the nerves rolling off him; in the way his jaw clenched, in the way his knee bounced once beneath the blanket, in the way he looked everywhere but at you.
until he finally did. his eyes were watery and filled with so much love, it gave you instant butterflies in your stomach.
and then, barely above a whisper, “will you let me be your boyfriend?”
your heart stopped, but you didn’t hesitate.
“yes,” you whispered. “god, yes.”
you were crying again, but this time, the tears were the good kind. the ones that came when the ache in your chest finally had somewhere to go.
“you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to hear you ask me that.”
his inhale was sharp and shaky, like your answer knocked the air from his lungs.
he blinked at you, wide-eyed, overwhelmed, completely undone. “wait—really?” he asked, voice barely holding itself together. “you… mean it?”
you nodded, laughing through the tears now. “jiji. yes. really. why are you so surprised?”
“i don’t know,” he said honestly, voice rising with panic. “i thought you’d laugh. or throw a pillow at me. or say it’s too soon, or that i talk too much, or—”
“you do talk too much.”
“see?!”
“but i love that about you. i love everything about you.”
he made a sound, something between a laugh and a sob, and pulled you straight into his arms.
his hoodie still swallowed you whole as you curled into him, and his hands cradled the back of your head like you were something fragile.
he kissed your temple. once. then again. and again. he couldn’t get enough of you.
he eventually let out a shaky breath, eyes wide and shiny as he pulled back slightly to look at you. “okay. okay, cool. this is good. we’re good. you love me. i love you. we’re officially dating. amazing. i’m thriving. we’re thriving.”
you smiled into his chest. “we’re thriving,” you confirmed, “but i think you’re forgetting something.”
jiyong tensed. “no i’m not.”
“mm. pretty sure you are.”
“baby, please.” he whispered, like he was trying to make a deal with god.
you pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “you still have to tell seunghyun.”
he blinked. then physically recoiled, like the words themselves had slapped him.
“…fuck me.”
you burst into laughter as he collapsed his head backwards, dragging both of his hands down his face like a man preparing for his own execution.
“oh my god,” he groaned, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “he’s gonna kill me. not figuratively. not even creatively. like, straight-up murder. headlines. candlelight vigil. obituary. closed casket.”
you curled into his side, still laughing. “he’s not gonna kill you.”
“he is,” jiyong insisted, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to his chest like it could protect him. “and not quickly either. he’s gonna do that thing where he talks real quiet, and just when i think i’m safe…”
he made a dramatic choking motion for dramatic effect, “boom. i’m dead.”
you tried to your absolute hardest stay serious, but your shoulders shook with laughter. “ji baby, i think you’re being a little dramatic.”
“am i?” he shot back, lifting his head just enough to meet your gaze. “last week, i asked him if you were seeing anyone and he just… stared at me. didn’t say a god damn word. and i swear to god i felt cold. like, spiritually. in my soul.”
“you’re such a baby.”
“i had to wear two sweaters!”
you were full-on wheezing now, “you’re lucky i love you.”
“i am,” he agreed solemnly. “and i plan on reminding seunghyun of that when he’s holding me out a window by my ankles.”
you wiped at your eyes from laughing so hard. “you’ll survive. probably. hopefully. i’ll protect you.”
“you’re very brave, saying that from the safety of my arms.”
you shifted to look at him, more tender now. “jiji, you love me. i love you. he’s gonna see that.”
he nodded slowly, his hand finding yours again beneath the blanket. “i know. i do wanna tell him. and i will. i just,” he paused and exhaled. “i hope he’ll see that it’s never been a game to me. not for a second.”
your heart melted as you leaned in and kissed his cheek. “he’ll know.”
“yeah?”
“yeah.”
he let his head fall back again, dramatically. “cool. amazing. i’m still absolutely terrified, but at least i’ve got the girl.”
“and two sweaters,” you reminded him.
“god bless.”
you just laughed again, full of love, warmth, and maybe a tiny bit of joy at watching your usually unshakeable best friend, now boyfriend, fall completely to pieces over you.
he grinned, proud of himself. and proud of you too. just for being here. for choosing him.
the chaos settled, eventually. you curled back into his side, quieter now. the kind of quiet that felt earned.
for a while, you didn’t speak.
but then, your voice came softer. “i’m sorry it’s all so complicated.”
he didn’t answer right away. he just kissed the top of your head and held you a little tighter.
“baby,” he murmured. “you don’t have to be sorry. none of this is your fault.”
“but it is,” you said. “because i’m me. and he’s… well, he’s him. it shouldn’t have to be this hard.”
he pulled back just enough to see your face. to make sure you saw how serious he was. “loving you has never been the hard part.”
your throat tightened at the sound of his words.
“it’s everything we tried to do instead of loving each other that made it hard,” he added. “all the pretending. the sneaking around. the trying to act like it didn’t mean anything.”
you didn’t speak at first.
his words just hung there, soft and certain, and you let yourself feel them. not rush past them. not change the subject. just sat with them.
he was right. you’d both made it hard. not on purpose. not to be cruel. just out of fear. out of habit. out of trying to protect something that you didn’t want to admit was already real.
your voice was quiet again when it came back. “we wasted so much time.”
he shook his head instantly. “we didn’t waste it. we just didn’t know what to do with it yet.”
you looked at him then. really looked. and his hand, already resting against your thigh beneath the blanket, gave a small squeeze like he felt it too.
“it still scares me a little, if i’m being honest.” you murmured.
“it scares me too,” he said, without hesitation. “but not enough to walk away from it again.”
that undid you a little. you shifted closer, your knees brushing against his legs. his eyes flicked to the movement like he couldn’t help it, like you were magnetic.
“you make it really hard not to believe in love, you know that?” you whispered.
“i hope so,” he murmured softly. “because i want you to believe in it. in me. in this.”
“i already do.” you smiled, small and real.
your hand found the side of his neck, thumb tracing just beneath his jaw, and when you leaned into him, it was calm, and familiar. like slipping into something you’d been waiting to return to.
his lips met yours with the same quiet knowing.
the kiss was soft. not rushed. not desperate. just full. like an exhale you didn’t know you’d been holding. his lips moved with the kind of certainty that didn’t need proving, just feeling.
one hand stayed warm against your thigh, the other brushed faintly at your side, like he couldn’t bear to let you go even for a second. your fingers curled at the base of his neck, anchoring you both in the quiet.
when you finally pulled back, your forehead rested gently against his. your breath intertwined, and hearts pressed close together.
his was racing, but still steady. so was yours.
“i’m so in love with you, kwon jiyong.” you whispered.
he didn’t speak right away. just breathed you in. eyes closed, hand slipping around your waist like he couldn’t stand the thought of you even an inch away.
then finally, soft like a secret, “i love you so much,” he murmured. “you don’t even know.”
but you did. you felt it in the way he looked at you. in the way he never let go.
in the way this, right here, felt like home.
you curled into his side again, resting against him. and for a while, there was nothing else. just the sound of your breaths.
the weight of his arm pulling you closer. the kind of quiet that only came when everything finally made sense.
eventually, and inevitably, your voice broke the silence, a little mischievous now.
“just so we’re clear,” you said, “i’m still gonna make fun of you for crying during grey’s anatomy.”
he let out a noise that sounded like a half groan, half laugh, “you promised we’d never talk about that.”
“i lied.”
“unbelievable,” he muttered while shaking his head, eyes closed and grinning.
you lifted your upper body and turned slightly to look at him, legs still tangled beneath the blankets.
he felt the movement and opened one eye to peek at you, with that boyish grin that always made you melt.
you nudged his foot beneath the blanket, not hard, but enough for him to feel it. he knew you just wanted his attention.
he kept his eyes closed, still smiling like an idiot. “was that a love tap or a threat?”
you shrugged, eyes soft. “you’ll never know.”
he opened both eyes this time, finally, and just looked at you.
and in that look, there it was. relief. love. disbelief that this was real. like he still couldn’t believe you were his to look at.
the silence between you wasn’t empty. it was warm. filled to the edges with everything you didn’t need to say out loud anymore.
your fingers found his under the blanket once again. his hand closed around yours without hesitation.
you stayed like that. quiet, steady, and sure.
no performance. no pretending. just two people who had been through a wreckage and still reached for each other.
and in the stillness, something settled.
not a question. not a fear.
just the quiet, certain knowing that this was real. that this would last.
Hello, Ellie. I like your stories about the Dimitrescu family☺. Have you thought about writing something about Cassandra or Daniela? For example, about how they spent the day with their girlfriend, or about some event that made them start dating?
Hi yall! Sorry for disappearing for so long! I'm gonna try and write more💗 I really liked this idea, thank you for requesting!
Synopsis: Dani and Cassandra spending a day with their lovely girlfriend
Warning: cassandras part mention horror movies
Not proofread!!
Daniela:
She fell in love with you immediately. The first time you two met was destiny, she knew it too. After you became friends with Daniela and she realized how many things she has in common with you she knew she wanted to be more than just friends. Your sense of humor, your flirty personality matched hers perfectly. You two had a habit flirting as a joke, but that wasn’t a joke for her. She meant it. She looked at you with sparks in her eyes, even her mother, Alcins liked you, which was a surprise to her, since her and her sisters are everything to Lady Dimitrescu.
After a while she decided she doesn’t want to stay friends with you. She wanted you. She prepared a candle lighted dinner in the castle, invited you over and with sweaty palms and with a racing heart sge confessed. You found it cute, sweet especially how nervous she was. The dinner was successful, you felt the same way as she did. Since then you’ve been inseparable and spent as much time you could with each other. This day was no different from the others.
You were laying in her bed, in her arms, talking about the future you would be happy to have with her.
“Ah babe, can we do something? Here this huge castle for ourselves for today and we’re just laying in your bed” You complained to your girlfriend.
Daniela leaned in to kiss the top of your head, listening to every one of your words. She just smiled at your complain. “Okay so what do you want to do?” She sat up and looked down at you.
You thought to yourself for a second, since you have so many options.
“Oh i’ve got the perfect idea!” You sit up swiftly as the idea popped up in your mind. “You have this enormous art area, right?” Daniela nodded at your correct statement. “We could go there and have strawberry dipped in chocolate while we eother try and paint each other or switch paintings every 5 or 10 minutes.” You told her idea excitedly, holding her hand. She liked your idea.
“Oh babe, I love it when you are so creative with your ideas…” She smirked, getting out of her bed. “Well come on now, or I’m gonna paint you with a mustache.” She joked and held out a hand for you.
You spent your afternoon with her in the art area joking, splashing each other with paint and having a good laugh.
Cassandra:
She was trying to convince you so badly to watch that new movie that has just come out. It’s name was maybe Conjuring… You weren’t sure. Cassandra loved these horror movies, you didn’t know why but she just did. But then after all, you loved her more and you went along with her plan and watched the movie. You were terrified as hell, while watching the movie, you used her as your human shield, as she would be able to save you from the scary parts. She chuckled, she thought that you are adorable. You can’t believe you agreed to this. She knew you didn’t like horror movies, but then you knew she loved them. Maybe if you’re lucky you only won’t be sleeping for like 3 days and if you have even more luck she’ll treat you for the scary things you had to witness throughout the movie.
“Babe! You know I hate these, why do I always end up watching these with you?!” You ask, terrified as you hide behind her shoulder, you still look at the screen.
She chuckles then kisses your cheek, trying to comfort you. “Sweet thing, you know we can turn it off. We don’t have to watch it together, if you want we can watch something else.” She showed a fang.
“I know, I know, but you asked me… Which means a lot to me.” You look back at her, making eye contact.
“What if i make it up to you? Tomorrow? Would that be okay, gorgeous thing?” She asks with a smug look, which looks good on her, you can’t deny that. It always did its thing on you.
“If we aren’t going to some horror house or doing something halloween themed thing in the middle of summer it is okay.” You reply, knowing her a little too well, then placed a kiss on her cheek. “Now we should finish this, the sooner the better i guess.” You said while getting some popcorn in your mouth.
“I mean there are a lot more movies in the conjuring universe, babe. One day you’re gonna appreciate them.”
“Maybe or maybe not.” You gave her a look of being sure you would not appreciate these kind of movies.
heyy! (dont know how many ppl have requests) but how would Lady dimitrescu and her daughters react to her wife (us) getting sick. as always it is COMPLETELY fine if this is too soon for you or what ever the case might be. your my fav writer so take your time!! <3
a/n: hii!! ngl no one has requested this yet but im glad you did!! sorry for not uploading this sooner, ive been so busy:(( i wrote the daughters as readers wife as well, i wasnt sure if you meant it as theyre readers daughters but if thats the case ill edit this and write one like that for each daughter!
im also horrible at writing dani and cassandra but i wanna write fics about them too theyre so interesting</3 ill try to get back to posting more! also its an honor that im ur fav writer! it means a lot to me❤️
Lady Dimitrescu
I feel like she’d be very careful with you, always making sure you’re tucked in, you always have warm tea. She’d turn into a maid herself, checking if you’ve gotten worse or better.
“Oh my sweet wife, how are you feeling?” she says as she brings you more of that herb tea that was made by her maids.
“I’m feeling better” You say or at least try between coughs.
“It’s not the time to lie about your condition sweet darling.
She’d lecture you like a mother but would make it up by kissing you and pampering you. I also think she’d read you your favorite book, making sure you’re not doing anything else besides laying and bed and drinking that awful herb tea.
Bela Dimitrescu
She’s the type to act like she’s not bothered by your sickness at all when in reality she orders everyone around worrying herself sick about your condition. She feels like you are her responsibility even though you can take care or yourself. She spends more time with you at this time, reading a book with you or if you happen to be sick around spring/summer time she takes you out for a walk in the garden.
“My sweet little thing, get dressed, we’re going out for a walk.” She orders as she withdraws the curtains in your shared bedroom. You just turn on your other side, tucking yourself more into the sheets.
“Noo, baby lemme sleep…” You mumble half asleep, not wanting to get out of bed.
“It wasn’t a question, you need some fresh air!” She stomps around, trying to get you out of bed, smirking at you.
“Jus’ open the window…” You say inbetween a yawn, making her roll her eyes.
She’d promise you something such as making her sing your favorite song, play an instrument.
Cassandra Dimitrescu
She’s the real deal here, growing up she always tried to copy Bela to make herself stand out more to their mother, trying to outrun Bela or to just get out of her shadow. I definitely think she would do some things similar to Bela’s but she would agree more easily to do things with you than Bela. She wouldn’t worry much about you being sick, but would keep a keen eye on you, making sure you get everything you need in time, if it doesn’t happen, someone dies in a sadistic way that’s for sure.
Daniela Dimitrescu
I think she would be playful with you and flirty, she would act like her playfulness and her jokes are the cure to your sickness. She’d make you laugh so hard that it would trigger a really bad coughing and she would apologize the whole day for it but secretly enjoys that she made you laugh and that she brightened your mood a little.
hiiii!! I noticed that there are like HUNDREDS od smut or thirst stories of Lady Dimitrescu, but i was wondering if you could right some fluff. maybe like spending the day or something with Lady Dimitrecu as our wife and our daughters. I think it would be nice and fluffy! Of course, no pressure what so ever!
A Day With Lady D
a/n: heyyy!! first of all thank you for requesting this, i love the idea! i have been wanting another fic for Lady D but i never was sure of what i should write so this came at the right time lol. enjoy it and i hope you like what i wrote<33 also i am very much sorry that i took so long to write it</3
masterlist
You slowly come to wakefulness, your eyes blinking open and taking in the familiar confines of your shared bedroom. The thick canopy bed curtains are still drawn, filtering the weak morning light into a dim gray haze. The air is still and quiet, the manor not having woken up yet. Slowly, and rather groggily, you sit up in your bed, letting out a sleepy yawn and rubbing the last remnants of sleep from your eyes. As you start to wake up, you notice something. Lady Dimitrescu's eyes are still closed, her soft face relaxed and peaceful in the early morning hours. Her hair is a silvery mess around her head, messy from its braid the night prior. Though, the sight of it makes your lips twitch into a soft smile. It's rare to wake up before her, she was always an early riser. Alcina preferred to watch over her castle and manor in the early hours, when everything was still and dark. Your smile grows a little more when you shift closer to her, resting your head against her broad chest and listening to the steady beat of her heart.
A soft hum leaves her as you make yourself comfortable against her, her right arm shifting lower to wrap around you and hold you against her. In her sleep, she pulls you closer, the hand not holding you moving to rest gently on the back of your head, holding you flush against her. You hear her take a deep inhale, her nose burying in your hair with a low hum of pleasure. She takes a moment to simply relish in your presence beside her, her breath slowly even as she relaxes into the soft bed linens beneath you both. After a long moment, her eyes finally blink open, revealing the honey gold irises that you adore. Her gaze focuses on you, and she can't help the small, loving smile that tugs at the corners of her lips.
"My dear." The words are a low, sleepy murmur, her voice deep and raspy in that particular way it always got when she was groggy. Her hand moves to gently cup your face, her thumb tracing gently over your skin. "You're awake early."
"I got to watch you sleep peacefully, which is rare." You giggle, making her smile.
"Couldn't bear to be away from me any longer, hm? Had to come snuggle in to my arms in the early hours?" She teases you, her smile growing slightly. Her voice is still rough, but you can hear the amusement and affection in every word.
"I mean, I do love to snuggle. You make me feel safe." You say, snuggling even closer to her.
"Did you sleep well, my dear?" She asks, her voice growing warmer with the use of the nickname. Her hand moves to gently cup your face, her thumb tracing slow half-circles over your skin. Her eyes never leave yours, watching you warmly.
“Mmm, yes. I slept well. You’re very comfy.” You reply quietly. Your own hand comes up to rest lightly on her upper chest, the feel of her cool skin and steady heartbeat soothing beneath your fingertips. "What about you?" You ask back, looking up at her face.
"I slept just fine, my love." She murmurs, the words soft but earnest. "But waking up to see you so peaceful and relaxed...?" She can't help the smile that spreads across her face. "It's an even better way to start the day." Upon finally untangling yourselves from each other, Alcina makes her way to one of the large oak wardrobes. She moves slowly, her eyes still somewhat heavy with the lingering fog of sleep.
“So, my dear...” She starts, opening one of the doors and looking between a few dresses. “What would you like to do today?”
You take some time to think to yourself, before she gives suggestions. She glances over her shoulder at you, her eyes studying you curiously. “I’m sure there’s something you’d like to do here. Read, explore, take a walk in the gardens? Perhaps you have some other plans in mind that you haven’t shared with me yet.”
You ponder her options quietly for a moment before replying. “Maybe we could go for a walk?” You suggest, watching her closely. “It’s a nice day, and the gardens are looking lovely this time of year.”
Lady Dimitrescu turns around to face you, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. She nods, the idea clearly sounding good to her as well. “Yes, that does sound lovely, my dear. It is a beautiful day outside, the perfect time to take a stroll.” She makes her way over to you, her steps soft against the hardwood floor. Alcina moves close to you, taking your hands in hers and giving them a gentle squeeze. “Then, you’ll accompany me on a walk through the gardens.” She grins before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Alcina moves away from you a moment later, grabbing the dress on the bed from earlier. She takes a seat at the nearby vanity, her eyes falling to the mirror before her. “Give me a few moments, my sweetheart, I’ll be ready shortly.”
Her eyes study her reflection in the mirror as she picks up a comb, starting to undo her mess of a braid from the night before. She lets out a low hum as she combs through her hair, working out the knots, slowly but surely. Her eyes take in the sight of her reflection, her gaze wandering idly over her features, almost as if lost in thought. After several minutes and several hummed tunes, the Lady sets the comb down on the vanity top, the tangles gone from her silvery hair. She turns to you, a satisfied smile on her face. “There, much better.”
She turns around to face you, her hands reaching up to smooth down any wrinkles on her now changed dress. Her eyes study you from across the room, noting the way you’re watching her. A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “Ready to go?” she asks, taking a few steps toward you.
"Yes." You shortly respond smiling up at your wife. Her hand reaches out to take yours, and she begins to pull you toward one of the side doors to the room.
Alcina grins excitedly, clearly thrilled by the idea of taking a leisurely walk in the warm spring air. She opens the door, leading you into the hallway beyond. Her fingers tighten around your hand, keeping a firm, yet pleasant grip on you. She smiles warmly down at you before leading you further down the hallway toward the back of the manor. She leads you down the hall, her steps quick and purposeful. The hallway is empty like usual, her staff still keeping away in their quarters for now.
The quiet of the manor is only interrupted by the sound of your footsteps and the occasional bird call or insect hum from beyond the windows. As you follow her, the hallway comes to its end at a large set of doors. Lady Dimitrescu pauses in front of them, her head tilting to the side at the sound of birdsong coming from just outside.
The air sounds warm and fresh, no doubt from the many flowers and trees that grow in the many gardens surrounding the manor. She lets out a hum from somewhere deep in her chest, clearly pleased with the spring weather. She reaches a hand out to pull open on of the doors, revealing the outside world beyond. A blast of warm, spring air hits you both, carrying with it the scent of blooming flowers. After a moment, she takes a step outside, pulling you with her. The fresh air is even more invigorating, and the sunlight that hits your face feels wonderful. She closes the door behind the two of you, then turns her gaze from the gardens to you, the Lady’s smile growing a little wider.
“It is a lovely day, isn’t it?” She comments as she leads you down the stone steps and into the gardens beyond. The grass is soft beneath your feet, and the air is still and warm. “The flowers are in full bloom this time of year, I think you’ll appreciate it.” She glances down at you, a warm smile still gracing her lips as she leads further into the gardens.
"Yes, spring is the best time of the year, the scenery is wonderful and I get to enjoy it with my beautiful wife." You look up at her and her grip tightens slightly on your hand, almost as though to ensure you can’t wander off. Her eyes take in the sight of her estate’s sprawling garden, her expression growing more relaxed than it was back in the manor. The garden is a sea of color, the many flowers that grow throughout it all in various states of bloom. The air smells of pollen and damp greenery, and it’s a scent you’ve always found pleasant. Alcina keeps her gaze on the flowers around you, though sometimes it flits down to you, studying you fondly.
“See what I mean?” She comments, a hint of joy in her voice. You nod, looking at her lovingly. Her eyes wander to the many rose bushes as you two walk past them. She reaches out and gently plucks one of the dark red roses from one of them, her fingers carefully twisting its stem before handing it to you. Her smile is warm and pleased as she watches you take the flower. Her own hand reaches out, gently caressing your cheek as she smiles down at you.
“Beautiful.” she murmurs, taking in the sight of the rose now cradled in your hands.
"Me or the flower?" You chuckle, knowing what she meant, but you want to hear it. Her hand pauses on your cheek, a brief flicker of shock passing over her features. But that only lasts for a moment. "You, my dear. Of course you."
Soon her eyes soften with affection, and a low hum rumbles in her chest. With slight hesitancy, she finally leans down to press her lips against yours, her hand shifting to cradle the side of your face gently. Her lips on yours are soft and cool, gentle and familiar. The Lady makes a quiet sound of approval as she deepens the kiss, the hand not holding your face moving to rest against your waist. The kiss is slow, tender, and full of affection, lingering for a long moment. With a soft breath she finally breaks the kiss, her eyes dark with affection as she looks down at you. Her cheeks are a little darker now, a hint of warm blush staining them. The Lady’s thumb brushes gently against your cheek, a smile tugging on her lips.
After spending some hours in the garden you suggest something else.
"Now... Alcina would you like to get tea with the girls?"
Alcina smiles at your suggestion. Her gaze softens for a moment, her eyes taking on a hint of affection. “That’s not a bad idea, my dear. Come.” She says, taking your hand in hers again and leading you out of the garden and back inside the manor. She leads you inside, her steps slow and relaxed as she goes, her eyes looking ahead. The manor is as still and quiet as usual, the sounds of birdsong and outdoor insects no longer reaching the two of you. The Lady’s grip tightens a bit on your hand as you two walk, her eyes shifting around almost as if she’s searching for something.
“Bela!” The Lady’s voice calls out calmly through the manor. “Cassandra! Daniela!” Her eyes glance around the main hall as she calls for the girls. The silence that answers her is deafening. She lets out a soft hum, her eyes searching the area intently.
As if on cue, a pair of giggles from one of the upper floors answers the Lady’s call, and she lets out a low, tired sounding sigh. A hint of a smile tugs on her lips, her eyes now turning upwards to the staircase. “Daughters!” The Lady calls again. “Come down here, please!” Her voice takes on a firmer tone now, her patience for her girls’ games growing thin. There’s another fit of giggles, followed by the distinct sound of rushing footsteps from upstairs. After another moment, three figures come running from the upper part of the manor. The three Dimitrescu daughters. Bela, Cassandra and Daniela all rush down the stairs and toward their mother at a rather speedy pace, their eyes wide and grins wide on their faces. Cassandra is the first to reach the pair of you, her eyes lighting up in excitement. “Mothers!” She exclaims, her voice bubbling with barely contained energy. Bela and Daniela are not far behind, their faces also smiling widely.
The Lady hums in acknowledgement, her eyes falling upon each of your girls. “Oue beloved Y/N suggested a tea party which is a good idea today, I think.” She says, nodding in approval. “That sounds lovely, don’t you girls think?” She turns her attention to the daughters, a small smile on her lips. They all seem to respond at once, their voices bubbling with excitement.
The Lady lets out another hum at the outburst, a mixture of amusement and exhaustion. But she’s smiling, her eyes fond as she gazes down upon them. “Alright, alright.” She cuts in, raising her hands to quiet them. “If you’ll all calm down, then we can have tea.” Her eyes narrow on each of them in turn as she speaks, waiting until they go quiet before continuing. They all seem to quiet down with her words, taking a step back to give her a little space. Though they seem a little pouty about it, their eyes still lighting up with excitement. The Lady nods slightly, her features returning to their usual more calm stoicism as she glances at each of the girls one more time.
“Cassandra, go fetch the tea set, will you?” She asks, her eyes landing on the raven haired girl. Cassandra’s eyes light up in glee at the mention of the task, and she lets out a giddy hum of excitement. One quick salute later, she’s already rushing off to another part of the manor. Daniela lets out a huff at her sister's excitement, scowling and crossing her arms across her chest. Bela, too, rolls her eyes at the sight, though both of them do so with fondness. The Lady only smirks, a bit of humor in her eyes as she watches Cassandra sprint off to grab the tea set.
After she's back you all gather into a sitting room and have a delightful time sipping tea and chatting about all sorts of things. The Lady watches over your daughters and you, her eyes fond as she sips her tea. The girls seem to have a wonderful time, excited and full of energy as they chat and laugh throughout the session. The atmosphere in the room is warm and pleasant, and you can tell the four of them are happy to have you there with them. There's a moment when Cassandra accidentally dumps a little spilled tea on Bela, prompting a small scuffle between the sisters that makes the Lady chuckle. The Lady has to step in to break them apart, and she does so with a smile on her face. As you all sit and chat, the warm, pleasant atmosphere slowly begins to make you feel sleepy. Your wife watches you closely, noticing the tiredness in your eyes and your slowly drooping eyelids. She reaches out to grab your hand in an affectionate gesture, her thumb brushing against the back of it. "Tired, dear?" She asks, her voice gentle. "Mhm..." You reply, closing your eyes and nodding.
The girls are still chatting happily, seemingly oblivious to your tiredness. Alcina, however, can sense it. She lets them chatter on for a while, indulging them as she sips her tea.
After some time, she finally speaks up. "Girls," she gently interrupts their conversation, her eyes flickering between them. "I think Y/N should get some rest now." The girls stop and look in your direction, their gazes immediately taking on a hint of disappointment. They start to protest, but the Lady simply holds up a hand to stop them. "Now now, you've had plenty of time with us already. Let Y/N rest." She says, her voice firm but gentle. The girls let out a collective "aww," and pout slightly, though it's clear they understand and aren't going to argue. "Okay, Mother.." One of them, Daniela, chimes in. The other two echo her, and the Lady smirks, amused by their slight disappointment.
She lets out a short hum at their pouty response, her eyes flickering back to you with a touch of sympathy. "Off you go, girls.." she gently waves the three of them out of the room and toward the door. They grumble slightly in protest, but start to head out of the room. Each of them gives you a quick goodbye, each one of them wishing you a good rest. Cassandra even gives you a warm smile, her annoyance at being dismissed quickly turning into affection. The Lady smiles fondly at them as they go, her eyes softening as she watches their pouts turn to smiles. After the door closes behind them, she turns to you, her eyes meeting yours. There's a hint of worry in her expression, but it's mostly replaced with gentle affection. She reaches out and gently brushes a strand of hair out of your face, her hand lingering on your cheek for a moment. "I hope they didn't wear you out too much." she says, her tone soft. Her hand drops from your face to settle on your shoulder, her fingers giving it a gentle squeeze. She tilts her head to the side in thought, studying your face a moment. "You really should get some rest, you know." she murmurs, a hint of concern in her voice.
"I will once we get to our bedroom. But... Thank you for today." You look up at her, admiringly. She gives you a little nod and smile.
As the two of you make your way down the halls, the Lady walks with a relaxed, easy stride. Every now and then her eyes dart to you, taking in your tired yet content expression. In return, you occasionally glance at her, a warm smile on your lips.
As you walk, she begins to talk. She seems to know exactly how tired you are and makes sure to keep her voice soft and light. "It's quite late, I hope the girls didn't tire you out too much."
"No they didn't. I love to be with them." Her eyes glance down at you again, studying your face for a moment. "I swear they never seem to slow down, not even at night. I suppose that's their nature, though." You respond with a soft hum, nodding slightly in agreement. The Lady lets out another soft chuckle at your response. "Yes, I thought you'd agree," she says, her voice affectionate. "They certainly keep me on my toes, that much is for sure." She continues to chat with you as you walk, her voice soft and pleasant. Her words are slow and comforting, as if she's trying to soothe you into a relaxed state before bed. She speaks of things that are simple and pleasant, clearly choosing topics that are unlikely to keep you awake. As the two of you reach your shared bedroom, the Lady leads you inside and shuts the door behind her. She turns to face you, her eyes studying your face again. "You look like you're ready to pass out, darling," she says, a hint of amused concern in her voice.
She gestures toward the bed, urging you to lay down. "You go get some rest. I'll be along in a moment, alright?" You nod and make your way toward the bed, your movements slow and heavy due to your tiredness. As you crawl underneath the sheets, the Lady watches you, her expression affectionate and amused. She lets out a soft hum, then nods her head toward you. "Rest well, love."
Thinking about Jackson Ellie who gets super nervous about sweet girls. She catches a single glimpse of you in a pen petting baby sheep, and she discovers something new about herself that day. She can’t keep her eyes off of you, constantly searching for your face around Jackson and trying her best to look away when she sees that soft smile you love to give her. Fuck, just the way you laugh when she tries to impress you with her book of puns. You wear these cute skirts around town, and just when Ellie think you can’t get any cuter, she finds out that you’re good with kids. You make her weak with just the gentle tilt in your voice. She’s not used to being treated so kindly, and yet she has no complaints. The day Joel knocks on her garage door asking her why her friend brought over an apple pie for her, she can’t handle it anymore. She’s gotta ask you to the winter festival.
this idea has been stuck in my head for days now if i ever finally finish the seattle fic im working on i am so writing this into an actual fic..ugh i love jackson ellie she is such a sweetie
a/n:well hello!! happy new year, i hope y'all had an amazing time💗 idk what my next fic will be, i don't have any ideas rn
fluff, not poofread masterlist
when ellie and you started dating she knew you were no ordinary girl. she always brings gifts back from her patrol for you, but blushes and gets awkward giving it to you.
ellie who daydreams about her girl, writing songs about her. she's obsessed with you, but in a good way, always making sketches of you and most definitely writes songs about you that she would like to perform to you but is shy. probably needs to convince herself to play a song when you're around.
ellie who does not play about you. she shows you off, doesn't hide you, but when her friends joke about how in love she is she'll be like "yeah haha fuck off" but secretly loves that they acknowledge you.
ellie who makes corny jokes whenever she can. you're sad? corny, lame jokes. you need a good laugh? corny, lame jokes. she pulls out her joke book out of nowhere and will laugh at the jokes like she's never read them.
when she's out on patrol and she finds something that just speaks you she'll either take it home for herself or give it to you.
ellie is the type of girl who always, but always talks about the recent comic she's reading and tries to convince you to read it cause it's "absolutely the most fucking amazing piece of art you'll ever read"
she would take you to the museum joel brought her to and would talk endlessly about the dinosaurs, explaining every single detail about them.
she's still so fucking awkward when you're dating. she tries to kiss you but gets shy, but you know what she wants so you lean in just for her to smile awkwardly and say a shit joke. you'd still laugh.
when you're just chilling on her couch, playing with each other's hair and enjoying the quiet surroundings she says out of nowhere "babe" you look up at her with a smile, thinking she wanna say something cute but in reality she would tell you a random fact about space. you roll your eyes and punch her shoulder, she'd act like she got stabbed and say a quiet "oow" but then continue rambling
I've seen people make the argument that if you like/support Ellie Williams or Abby Anderson from The Last of Us Part Two, then you should be fine with Caitlyn Kiramman's actions in Arcane season two and I'm gonna break down why I disagree with this.
It's true that both TLOU 2 and S2 arcane are revenge stories and have similar story beats. Caitlyn Kiramman is a cop who comes from a privileged family and she ends up losing her mom, Cassandra Kiramman, in a terrorist attack against her city. The terrorist responsible for the attack is Jinx, the sister of Caitlyn's romantic interest. In the first season it's clear she has a good heart that ends up being corrupted by revenge in the second season. Caitlyn becomes so blinded by her hatred for Jinx she ends up pushing away those closest to her and she comes heinous, discriminatory crimes against the lower class.
Ellie Williams starts off TLOU series as a little girl who's sarcastic and lonely and also immune to a deadly zombie virus. She forms a father/daughter like relationship with a man named Joel Miller, the man tasked with ensuring Ellie makes it to a hospital on the other side of the country in order for a cure to be made for the virus. Ellie ends up living with Joel in a safe haven after they make it to the hospital, because according to Joel while Ellie was unconscious in the hospital, it was revealed that Ellie wasn't the only person who was immune and they didn't need her to make a cure. As Ellie gets older, she uncovers the truth: Making a cure from Ellie would have killed her and so Joel not only stopped the cure from being made, but he also killed everyone in the hospital. This causes a heavy strain on their relationship and Joel ends up being murdered right in front of Ellie before she ever got the opportunity to make amends with Joel. This makes Ellie go on a quest to kill Joel's murderer and in the process she ends up killing countless people and she loses everything to her lust for vengeance.
Ellie and Caitlyn have a few similarities but the similarity that's most important for the sake of this post is the fact that they lose a parent and end up losing their morals on their path to vengeance. For me personally, there're two reasons why I hold Caitlyn and Ellie on different levels.
1. Relationship
Both of the last of us games focus on the relationship between Joel and Ellie. In the first game alone you spend hours upon hours with the two characters. You're there for their ups and downs and you watch them go from strangers to people who genuinely care for each other. You can only really care about a relationship if you spend time with them, and in arcane, we spend no time with Caitlyn and Cassandra. We understand that their relationship is a bit strained because they have different perspectives on life, but this is the only thing we can really say about their relationship. The closest we get to them having some kind of positive moment is when Cassandra makes sure Caitlyn and Vi get an audience with the council and when Cassandra gives Caitlyn a nod to go after Vi after she leaves. This is all we have for this relationship. So realistically, outside of the fact that Cassandra is Caitlyn's mom, why should I care that Cassandra is dead? Like I said, we don't see anything substantial from their relationship. Not in flashbacks or during Cassandra's life or after her death. We never even see Caitlyn really grieve the loss of her mother. She never sheds a single tear for her. She talks about how her mom's death has left a hole in her and she talks about how it feels impossible to live up to her mom's legacy, but this doesn't really tell us anything about Caitlyn actually FEELS about her mom or her death. We never even see Caitlyn feel any kind of way to the fact that her relationship with her mom ended while they weren't on good terms. When Joel goes in TLOU 2, we see exactly how it impacts Ellie. We see her mourn his death and we see her frustration in losing him and how she struggles with remembering him exactly. We see how she's tortured by the fact they left things on bad terms and also by the fact that Joel maintained a lie for years. We understand exactly why she's doing what she's doing, even as she pushes to newer extremes. We don't have this for Caitlyn. For Caitlyn, it seems at the start that she's doing it for her mom and that makes sense, but then we see Caitlyn take on a much bigger role in society and it just seems odd and unnatural. It doesn't feel like it's about her mom anymore.
2. Damage
Ellie gets consumed by vengeance. She loses her friends, her girlfriend, her personality, everything. And she keeps going too, she keeps hurting her enemies and her allies. Ellie has killed so many people on all sides it's genuinely gross. But not as gross as what Caitlyn does. Caitlyn doesn't kill anyone in her mother's name that we know of, but Caitlyn uses her grief to oppress the lower class of the nation of zaun. She gasses the city which leaves its citizens sick and afraid. She sets up borders and checkpoints in the city and treats innocents like they're criminals. Caitlyn's heartbreak over her mom's death is used to discriminate against others and Ellie's grief is NOT used to do that at all. For Ellie, anyone who stands in her way for vengeance is against her but Caitlyn villainizes the entirety of the undercity.
I've also seen people compare Caitlyn to Abby Anderson, who in TLOU kills Joel in front of Ellie because years ago, Joel killed Abby's father. Although we don't see much of the relationship between Abby's dad and Abby, we can understand the severity of his loss because we see how it impacts Abby and we know his death was undeserved. Abby's dad was a good man and a doctor. He helped people and cared for those in his community. The only reason he was killed was because Joel shot him in order to save Ellie. Abby doesn't witness her dad's death firsthand like how Ellie does, but she does walk in on her dad's dead body, and we see her anguish at the sight. Cassandra Kiramman was not innocent. She was a member of Piltover's council, the political body responsible for the oppression of the lower class. We know she had prejudice against those from the undercity. This is another reason why I lack sympathy for Cassandra and her relationship with Caitlyn but have it for Abby and her dad. TLOU 2 shows us how the death of her father still haunts her years after its occurrence, and it also shows us how even after she got her revenge, she still felt the emptiness his death left her with. Again, Arcane really doesn't explore how Cassandra's death truly impacts Caitlyn.
a/n: enjoy this drabble, idk what this is, events are after joels death. i also changed a bit on the plot since i posted the poll. hate this sm
pairing: traumatized ellie x fem!reader
synopsis: you and ellie fight but make up
contains: miscommunication, making out
proofread, wc:1k, requests r open
It happened again. Ellie and you were in the middle of an argument. Ellie, feeling frustrated and angry, couldn't understand why you weren't seeing things from her point of view. She crossed her arms tightly, her jaw set, refusing to budge. Meanwhile, you were also fuming, refusing to back down. The two of you stared at each other in silence, tension filling the air. Another fight, another night that you will probably spend in separate rooms. When will this end? Ellie just doesn't understand. Or are you the one not understanding her? Do you want to? Does she want to? So many questions crossed your mind.
"You just don't understand!" Ellie yelled back. "You just don't fucking understand, Y/N!" You were frustrated. It wasn't the first huge fight you guys had. You always made up somehow but how long could that last? "Oh so now I am the one who just won't understand yeah, keep telling yourself that bullshit!" It was about her episodes. Again. "If you'd let me help you, it could work. It should work! If you won't let me in, or even try to help you, what do you want me to do?" You were walking back and forth in the room while she was sitting on your shared bed. She was fidgeting with her fingers. Again. Everything's the same, yet everything's different.
"I want you to understand." She mumbled but you weren't sure what she meant exactly. She looked horrible. Eye bags under her eyes, underweight and tired. So tired.
"What?" You asked back, eyebrows furrowed. "What do you want me to understand? Ellie, just tell me." You ask wanting her to say it after putting it under the rug for so many months now. You never expected her to be like this. She changed a lot, but not in a good way. Her hatred towards that woman, Abby. Abby... She had said her name in her dreams before. When she could sleep. Her obsession and grief just became worse over the years. Were you just a distraction for her?
"Just want you to know that I'm fucking trying to get better, to leave it all behind!" Her eyes are full of tears, knowing where this argument is going. She stood up from where she had been sitting this whole time, walking towards you. She put her hand on your cheek, waiting for you to lean in her touch. Give a sign it's still worth fighting for. "I know you mean well and I want to be better for you. For us, babe."
That was it. You leaned in her touch, putting your hand on hers. She always made your legs weak when she called you babe. Making you weak in ways only she could, the late night talks after having each other, talking about the future. "I always want to wake by your side, feel your touch, feel loved by you. You mean fucking everything to me. I want to keep fighting for us." She said as she pressed her forehead to yours. You held your breath for a second and pulled back stepping further from her. She never opened up like this before, she had it under all of those strong layers of confidence and masks.
Ellie's breathing was fast and labored, and her heart was pounding in her chest. You could see how hurt she is, but there was also a hint of vulnerability and pain in her eyes. You had tried with all your might to stay mad at her, but it was impossible for you. The atmosphere was too tense, and the silence was defeaning.
"Stop, Els. Don't look at me like that, I need to stay mad at you for a minute longer." You said, looking in all directions avoiding her gaze. You broke the silence, speaking calmly. " But this is exactly what I've been waiting for. I understand Els, and I do want what's best for us too, but we need to stop fighting so much. You have to stop being so stubborn and I need to listen more to what you have to say." Ellie sighed but a hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "You know, you don't have to be mad at me for long." She replied, taking a step closer to you.
"I guess I do have a tendency to be a bit stubborn and I'm trying to listen more, babe. It's not always easy, but I'm working on it." She reaches out and gently takes your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. "You're always stubborn, Els." You smile feeling relief in your chest. "I know you're working hard to be a better version of you. I hate fighting with you, i really do and I'm sorry." You caress her hand with your thumb, locking your eyes with hers.
"I don't like fighting with you either. It's exhausting and it doesn't solve anything." She looks down at your intertwined hands. "Can we promise no more fights? Just talk it out instead." She looks up at you, her eyes searching for your response. She takes a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing a little. "Yes but i want you to know that I'm here Els, i really am. Don't drown in your thoughts. I also don't want this for us. Fights don't fix things. And I don't want to lose you, like ever." Ellie's face softened as she looked at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She took a step closer, her body now standing just inches away from yours. She lifted her hand to your face, gently stroking your cheek with her fingertips. "You know, there's another way we can solve our differences without fighting." She leans in closer, her breath hot against your skin. "And I have the perfect way to make it up to you for being so stubborn earlier."
She moves even closer, her body now pressed against yours. She wraps her arms around your neck, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of your neck. She brushes her lips against yours, lightly at first, but the kiss quickly deepens. Her tongue explores your mouth, pulling you closer, erasing any lingering tension between the two of you. She pulls back slightly, breathless, looking into your eyes with a mixture of desire and affection. Maybe you won't spend the night in separate rooms.
a/n: promised this a long time ago (back at the leon fic) anyway i forgot to post this short hc
Agent!Leon who would never leave you alone. If you fight, he's right there until the end
Agent!Leon who says he likes to work alone but when it comes to his partner, he takes his partner's safety very seriously. He has lost way too many people to lose his partner too, he'd do anything for the people he cares about
Agent!Leon who would do anything to protect you if you'd get hurt, even with his own body.
Agent!Leon who offers his help where he can, just don't let him drive
Agent!Leon who makes dad jokes in very serious moments and laughs at them and when you don't laugh at them he rolls his eyes
Agent!Leon who lives in the past but still tries to rewind time to undo his past mistakes, but making it even worse for himself
Agent!Leon can't take it when he's defeated, he goes out of his way just to prove he's able to save others
Agent!Leon who hides his soft, caring side
Agent!Leon who won't admit that he sucks at driving
a/n: heyy loveliest ellie fans thank you so much for loving the first part of this, i wanted to start by thanking you. here's the second part, if you haven't read part one here it is: part one, so yeah enjoy it and thank you for all the support!!
synopsis: it takes place a day right after, you ask her out to go to the Winter dance together :p (i saw a cute dellie edit and i thought I'd go with this)
proofread! wc: 1,6k
pairing: awkward ellie x reader
What the hell even happened yesterday? You question yourself at 2:13 am. You couldn't sleep. She was all over your mind, you tried to crush the imagination of her in your thoughts. Tried to get rid of how good you fit in her arms, how good it makes you feel hugging her. You can't even imagine how it would make you feel if she had the courage to kiss you yesterday. You thought to yourself "maybe I should've made the first move", there were a lot of maybe's and what if's. That didn't change anything even though you wished it would've. Does she sleep well? Does she even sleep? All you could think of was Ellie and the way she smiles at you, the way she makes you laugh, the way she makes you feel things you never thought was possible. You made the decision that you'll be brave. You'll ask her out. You'll ask if she'd like to go to the Winter dance. You knew she wasn't fond of these things but maybe spending time with you and being with you would make her want to go to that "stupid dance" as she liked to call it.
In the morning you woke up with four hours of sleep, tired but excited with a mixture of being nervous. You were excited for the dance but nervous of what Ellie would say. You did your morning routine, ready to go to Ellie's place to talk to her, -about the dance, about yesterday- you also had the feeling she wanted to talk to you. As you walked through town in the morning, greeting people, it reminded you how good it is to be a part of a community. Sometimes the days you spent outside and the feelings, the memories came back. You tried to think of something else on your way to your so-called friend. You wished those days never happened. You happened to have talked about those days to Ellie, in "exchange" she told you her story. You two were so similar it hurt. As all these thoughts were running through your mind, you arrived at Ellie's garage, hesitating before knocking. "C'mon Y/N, don't be a fucking coward, it's just a dance."
You knocked on the wooden door, with shaking hands, hearing loud footsteps from inside. As Ellie opened the door you noticed that she definitely had just woken up. Her hair was a mess, tiredness visible on her face that had come along with a big yawn. "Good morning Ellie!" You welcomed her with a big grin, trying to play off your nervousness.
"Morning Y/N." She said between yawns. You giggled at how sleepy she was. "Didn't sleep much last night huh?" You asked, mischievously.
"Couldn't sleep at all, but I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep either." She looked all over you, taking every inch of you. "Anyway come on in!" She stepped aside so you could walk through the door. "Yeah I... I couldn't either.." You mumbled while going inside. You sat down on her couch looking at the current comic she was reading. She sat down right next to you.
"So um, i kinda wanted to talk about something, specifically two things." You looked at her hoping she's willing to have the talk. "Yeah, Y/N, I'm all ears, wassup?" She asked and leaned closer to you, paying full attention to what you had to say.
"Basically just about yesterday... and today. I was actually wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with me... I know you said it's some stupid dance but i thought it would be great hanging out and y'know, ju-" You couldn't finish, she put her hand on your left thigh and gave you a reassuring smile.
"Of course I'd like to go with you" You looked at her tattooed arm that was resting on your thigh now, feeling flushed. "N-nice! Um... and about yesterday... uh, y'know the almost kiss..." It's like she can read your mind, she finished your sentence. "It didn't happen cause it wasn't the right time. I hesitated because i didn't know if you'd want it, if you'd want me. But now that you're bringing it up, I have a feeling you would've wanted it." She was now caressing your thigh. She never showed this side of hers. It was bold and just not that Ellie awkward who's all about her comics. What demon took her? You questioned.
"Okay first of all, when did you become so fucking bold and straightforward about kissing me or even wanting me? Second of all, of course I wanted it, third of all, what is happening??" It was like you panicked, she sensed how tense you were and placed her left hand on your face, forcing you to look at her.
"Hey, it'll happen when the right time comes. I want it to be special. I want it to be so fucking memorable because that's what you deserve." She was now caressing both your thigh and face, making you feel relaxed and safe.
"O-Okay... Um, so what do we do now?" You placed your hand on hers, pressing your cheek to her palm.
"Let's watch a movie, then we could find out later what we could do." She smirked at you, which made you flushed even more. But she seemed to be really smitten by you and her face was all red. It was adorable.
The two of you spent your time until the dance with watching movies, playing games, and Ellie made you read some comics with her. She was actually just explaining the lore of her current comic while you tried to read it. It's been a while since you laughed this much. You were glad it was with her. She always made you smile, and always made your day brighten up. You were so thankful that she is your friend. Or maybe soon to be girlfriend. You two now started flirting, and getting closer, the stolen glances lasted longer. It was really a matter of time now. Before the dance the two of you separated to get ready, both of you agreed to meet later on.
At the dance
You arrive to the dance feeling nauseous from how nervous you are. You walk in and see your friend Dina dancing around and Jesse and Ellie talking at the bar table. You wipe your hands in your jeans, and walk towards your friends.
"Hey guys, wassup?" You try to be casual, but can't stop grinning when Ellie looks at you and walks up to you to hug you.
"Heyyy Y/N" She hugs you tightly, taking your scent in. "I'm glad you're here" She pulls away from the hug, setting her drink down.
"I'll let you two talk." Jesse nods towards you and Ellie then winks at her, he walks away, leaving you two alone.
"Let's go dance!" You try to yell over the music that was playing and you pull Ellie towards the dance floor. She smiles at the way you intertwine your fingers with her. She puts her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to her. You put your arms around her neck and tuck a strand of her behind her ear.
"Sooo... did you miss me in those very long hours we spent separately?" You chuckle while asking it as a joke, but her expression doesn't soften, it hardens and her face turns from happy to serious.
"I very much missed your joking ass." Her tone is serious and tough but still has a hint of mischievousness. You were left speechless. As you dance with her it feels like it's the best night of your life. The memories you made together so far, and how far you've overcome your fears with her. So deciding it is the right time you lean closer to her face.
"I think this is the right time." You whisper and kiss her. At first she doesn't kiss you back, surprised by your sudden move but when she comes back to Earth she kisses you back.
Ellie's pov:
She thought to herself that she can't believe you wanted to go to this dance with her, She never thought you'd want to be with her.
"How the fuck did I win this gorgeous girl?" She mumbled as she put down her journal. You only ever lived in her journal, the sketches she made of you, the songs she's written about you.
"Maybe I could play one of them tonight after the dance if it goes well with her." She said to herself again, lost in thoughts.
"Okay Ellie you can't fuck this up, if you fuck up, you fuck up your friendship too." She mumbled to herself as she put on her outworn converse sneakers, ready to go to the dance.
At the dance; Ellie's pov:
She's at the bar with Jesse talking about you.
As the two of them were talking she sensed your presence, as she turned around she saw the biggest grin on your face that she could ever imagine. As she hugged you tightly she wished she could stay in this moment with you. You felt so good between her arms, your scent was the best thing she had ever taken in, you were mesmerizing. You invited her to dance, she was thinking whether or not would be the time to finally take matters into her hand and kiss you. She was so nervous but happy. Happy to be with the girl she's had a crush on from the very first day. You took the first step and kissed her, taking her off guard, but she kissed you back. After this you can be sure as hell that her journal pages will be dedicated to you even more, and a song will be played for you tonight.
shaming people for writing noncon and saying they support actual rape is not it
do u not realize that it’s just fiction? people dont actually support that irl its literally just writing
Whether it’s fiction or not changes nothing. Would you say the same if someone wrote smut about Ellie and Joel? Or fuck it, how about Ellie and David too? It’s just fiction, right? Or are you gonna say that that’s different and rape’s less serious to you?
If rape is fine because “it’s just fiction”, then where do you draw the line? Is there a line at all? Writing about your sick rape fantasies is no different than writing about pedophilia. It may be fiction, but it reflects who you are as a person and what you’re into. Romanticizing rape is wrong the same way romanticizing pedophilia is wrong, and if you disagree then you seriously need help. Get the fuck off my account
a/n: tlou has been kicking in (for almost 2 years now lol) ellies been on my mind forever now, whenever i feel like i need a break i just play tlou (so many of you can relate probably) so enjoy this slow burn with awkward jackson ellie x awkward reader! PLEASE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO NAME THIS FIC, took me way too long to write this😞 excuse me for it
part II
summary: you and ellie had been friends for months now, you clicked right away. you have so many similarities and you go on patrol together. lately she's been way more awkward around you and it makes you question things between you two. both of you have a secret crush on each other
pairing: awkward jackson ellie x awkward reader
it's full of fluff, ellie being her cute, nerdy self. also idk if i should write part 2 lemme know if y'all want it!
pics r from my gameplay and from pinterest
proofread!
the first couple of months
When you first arrived in Jackson you didn't know if you'd ever find someone. A friend. You spent months outside, alone and terrified. Finding a place where you could rest, eat, shower, call it a home. Man, that was something you didn't know still existed. Finding Jackson was a miracle. Finding a home was one too. An unexpected one. In the first couple of days you were so lost, you were only able to sleep and eat after being so exhausted of traveling for months not staying anywhere for too long, it was way too dangerous.
The town was beautiful. Usually when the sun was setting the town was lightened up with gorgeous lights, you loved walking around and just take it all in. You started to feel comfortable and when you were finally able to take part in patrol and help the town it was more than good. You kind of missed going out. After a month of staying in town and getting to call this place your home, you found some cool people and you started to hang out with them. It was fun and all but you still didn't feel like you actually had friends. You were here and there but sometimes you still felt lonely and out of place. In the group there was this one girl though. Her name was Dina. She introduced you to a lot of people, she taught you some skills that would come in handy.
In exchange, you became good friends with her and you spent a lot of time with her. You also taught her many things that you had learned on your own when you were out there. She was super nice to you from the beginning, it was no surprise you became friends with her so fast, gosh you wished you had met her sooner. She's also mentioned a friend of hers, Ellie. She said it many times when you were just chilling and hanging out at her place how the two of you would get along really well, she wanted you two to meet. It was almost crazy cause you never actually saw Ellie no matter how many times or how long you were hanging out with Dina. One day she convinced you to go over to her place so she brought you to her garage, it was behind a house, if you were correct it was Joel's house. You didn't know much about either Joel nor Ellie but that was about to change.
Dina knocked on Ellie's door, you didn't know what to expect. Dina mentioned Ellie knows she wants her to meet someone new, you had a knot in your stomach from how anxious you were. Ellie opened her door, first noticing you then Dina.
"Hey Ellie!" Dina greeted her with a big smile then hugged her.
"Hi...!" There was an awkward pause before she greeted you and Dina. As she was hugging Dina, she kept looking at you. You waited for your turn to greet her and tell her your name. Dina pulled back from the hug letting you two greet each other.
"Uhm hi..!" You greet her in the same awkward tone, she did before, you're not sure what to say or do so you turn to Dina for some help.
Dina laughs and gives you a nudge towards Ellie. “Cmon you weirdos, talk to each other!” Dina says jokingly, turning to you and Ellie.
Ellie's just fidgeting with her fingers not knowing what to say to you, she's even barely looking at you at this point so you take the situation in your hands.
"I'm Y/N, it's very nice to meet you" You try to go over your anxiety and smile at her. She gives you an awkward smile.
"I'm Ellie, heard a lot about you" She says, still fidgeting with her fingers. Dina just stands there trying to figure out where all of this is gonna go.
And that's how you two met. Very awkward, and weird at first. The three of you started hanging out after you and Ellie had met. Sometimes you even hung out just the two of you. You'd become inseparable with Ellie, always going to the lake, exploring different areas, sneaking out at night, bringing gifts to each other from patrols when you weren't assigned together... Before you got assigned with her for a patrol.
the first patrol together
This day has arrived. The first ever patrol together with her. With Ellie. You were excited for this day, not expecting much, go out, go to your assigned place, clear it if it has any infected, sign in, go back to town. Easy for you. And with Ellie who had gone across the entire country at the age of 14. It seemed like going on a tea party in the afternoon.
It was early morning, you woke up to the noise of birds chirping, Ellie and you agreed on meeting at the stables. You had been thinking of her for a while now. Were you actually thinking of her as a friend? Had it been more? Could it be more? You don't know. Everything felt natural when you were around her, she made you laugh so easily, she made you smile on your gloomiest days. You love her, you know that for sure, but was that love in the friend category? As you were walking through town to the stables you were lost in your thoughts. Most of them were about her... Was it a crush? You weren't sure, you haven't been in love before, you were always way too focused on surviving. You arrived at the stables, and you saw her there, she was already there waiting for you with a saddled up Shimmer.
Ellie looked tired, but when she noticed your presence her face softened, and a smirk appeared at the corner of her mouth before hugging you. "Hey, how ya doing?"
"Morning Els, didn't think you would be here this early, my morning was good, but better now I'm here with youm" You pulled away from her hug, looking into her green eyes trying to figure out what she could be thinking about... you
No, it can't be... or can it? She always seemed so confident and fierce but was that all true? Was that a mask she always wore so her true feelings wouldn't come to the surface? You hoped you'd find out about it one day. Maybe today could be that day.
As you and Ellie talked for a while, the tiredness that had previously been on her face seemed to disappear. She was in a good mood, perhaps because you were there, talking with you. As you talked, Ellie's mood seemed to improve. You could see a smile on her face as she joked quietly with you, listening intently to what you had to say. When you suggested going up on Shimmer, Ellie immediately agreed. She climbed on the horse's back then patted the Shimmer's neck, before looking at you.
"You're riding with me, right?" Her eyes were sparkling with a hint of mischievousness, she wanted you to ride with her.
"Yeah it would probably be better." You grin at her before she took your hand to help you up on to Shimmer's back. You put your hands around her, noticing the sharp breath she took. "You ready to go?" You ask, squeezing her side a bit to catch her attention.
"Yup let's go." She replied with a smile on her face before motioning Shimmer out of the stables, to the gates that were already opened up for you and the others who went on different paths.
You talked through the whole way, for the first time she opened up to you truly. You had a great time with her, just like you always had but something was different, she was more talkative. Was it because of how close you two got? Probably. You already knew you started to develop a small crush on her but could it be more with her, was she in a relationship? Was she open to date someone? Maybe it was finally time for you to take this risk and shoot your shot. You had nothing much to lose, maybe the friendship. Or maybe not? Maybe you and Ellie will date it's only a matter of time to find out about your own true feelings and about her feelings, perhaps towards you.
You were riding in complete silence as you made your way through a woods to the location that was on you and Ellie's patrol. "So... you got a boyfriend?" She asked you, out of nowhere turning her head to look at you. Her question surprised you, after thinking for a second you just shook your head. "Ohh, so girlfriend?" She bit her lip, while literally staring into your soul with a small smirk trying to find some kind of reaction on your face of confirming what she has been thinking.
"Wish" You reply with a hint of blush on your cheeks. She stared at you for a second her smirk widening. "Oh so you are into girls, huh?" She giggled, then looked back at the surroundings.
"I didn't know you were this straightforward." You reply with a small giggle, the blush on your face just darkened. "Wait look there's the supermarket!" You point to it clearly trying to change the topic. Ellie looks in the way you're pointing, revealing the huge building in your sight.
Silence fell on you again while you and Ellie slowly approached the big supermarket, focusing on your surroundings. Ellie slowed Shimmer down to stop in front of the supermarket. "There it is." She slid off Shimmer, tying the reins to a bike stand. Then she looked at you, a little apprehensive. "You ready?" She looked back at you waiting for you.
"Yes" You replied, taking out your gun out of the holster. Ellie nodded, looking around once more to make sure there was no one else around. Then she walked to the front door, trying to open it. "It's locked... Let's try... and find a fucking door or somethin..." She shook her head then started looking around to find an entrance. You walked around the building, trying to find a broken window, a cracked door, something.
You found a broken window, you rushed back to ellie to tell her that you found it. "Ellie, there's a window on the back of the supermarket!" You said cheered up. Ellie smiled then nodded, following you to the window. Ellie carefully climbed in first, alerted. You followed her sticking by her side.
"Look around see if there's anything useful." She commanded but still had that soft look when she looked at you. "Yes ma'am." You replied in a joking tone which made her blush and smile a little bit, she liked it to say the least.
As you scavenged the place out, you proceed to leave the supermarket along with Ellie. "We got so many things! I haven't found this many things for a while now, looks like you're my good luck charm." You bump your shoulder into hers. She grins and looks at her feet.
"Um, will you take me everywhere you go then?" She tries to joke with you, but deep down she means it. You brush the strand of hair out of her face then lock your eyes wirh hers and stop her in her tracks. "Everywhere." It feels like an unsaid promise that hangs in the air which makes both of you think for a moment. Would this be the right time to... Well it is. Ellie starts to lean closer to you but hesitates. You nod your head that you're ready, desperate to taste her, desperate to feel her on your own lips. You both had been waiting for this moment for a long time now.
She hesitates again then pulls away. "We should go now, it's getting late and we need to take back all the supplies we found." She places her hand on your elbow, leading you back to Shimmer. You're confused and upset, you don't understand why she did that. She seemed as she wanted it. You feel a rush of sadness, but you don't want to show that it hurt you, you feel rejected. As you were zoned out a little bit you tried to snap out of it, got on your horse and started to ride back home. You don't know what to say, whether if you should say something.
"So... Do we call it a success?" You ask squeezing her side to get her attention again. She turns her head towards you, then gives a little nod of agreement. "We fucking do!" You just reply back with a nod and a smile. You feel lost in feelings, drowning. Why is this girl doing all this to you? You don't understand it. The ride back was peaceful, or so you called it peaceful.
You arrived at the ominous gates, and dropped off the supplies. You both went to the stables then said goodbye to the horses then to each other. You went home to sleep the day off, to sleep off the almost kiss.
lowkey in a mood for another ellie fic, what do y'all say? it would also be a longer fic (possibly 3-4k words since my last couple of posts weren't that long so i wanna make it up to you)
do you want me to write about ellie?
we want smellie fic!
no.
somebody else (but who? idk)
Voting ended onNov 10, 2024
I'll see tonight how the poll is going, im also preparing the leon hc's😈😈 if y'all want anyone else lmk!
