Original title: Two Hetalia related horrors.
Original post date: July 2013
Original blog: @weebstories
”OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!” I turned around and im just TACKLED by some girl! Lets call her Y. She was heavy, not what you would call ”fat” but, big build, broad shoulders, and smelt bad. REALLY bad. I managed to stay up, but she ran straight into my little sister?! Of course, my sister began crying into my neck, not looking at this hambeast and her two friends.
”OH MAI GAWD WAT A KAWAII IGIRISU AND AMERIKO!!KYUUUUUU!~” My friends were obviously confused and stood there while Y’s friends spazzed over their cosplays. So we posed for pictures, and we sat down, expecting them to leave. THEY SAT DOWN BESIDE US and began talking about how smexy all the men in Hetalia were and in Black Butler, FMA, SNK, Shit like that… She also talked about how kawaii chibi fem!ameriko was and how she wanted one of her own ”Watch out iggy, ameriko is so kawaii I might just take her for maiself!”. SO when we got up after about a half hour, my sister was walking and holding onto my hand while these weebs followed us, obviously scared. My little sister dragged me and the weebs over to a Lolita table(my two friends went to a different table) and began begging for a hairbow (pink with pearls and a little gold chain, pretty cute). It was only $5 so I thought, why not? I let go off her hand to get out my purse and bought it for her, when I turned around, SHE WAS GONE. I nearly had a heart attack. I began looking around and she was nowhere in sight. I freaked out and began crying, and my friends came over, realising I was alone. Soon Con security came over and calmed me down and was soon looking for her. I explained what the weebs looked like and why I thought they had her. I immediately began running around looking for her, and soon realised she was either outside or a hotel room, I hoped not. I made my way around, checking the quieter area of the con, and heard crying. My sisters voice. I followed it quickly and ended up in the bathrooms. Surely enough, the weebs were there with my little sister, putting greasy cat ears on her and kyuuuu-ing over her while she stood there crying her eyes out. ”GET YOUR GREASY HANDS OFF MY SISTER” I immediately ran forward and picked her up. She was in tears and I tore the cat ears of her head and threw them on the ground.
”Gyuh! Why did you do that Alice chan!?” Y cried. I then screamed at them that con security was after them and stormed off with my sister. I told one of security I had got my sister and I later saw the weebs being carried out for harassing Naruto  cosplayers.
I’m a 15 year old American German girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a little smaller than average height and healthy. I’m on the swim team at school, basket ball team and gym. I’m fairly popular I guess.. I go to parties, have a group of great friends, nice home. Anyway, this is the story of how a weeb harassed me for weeks and tried to steal my things.
I decided to go to the anime club one day, even though it was notorious for weebs, and my good friend, lets call her Misty (she loves pokemon) and I will be called, Alice, as my last story. So we went and it was pretty fun, everyone was really friendly and there was actually two other boys who were there, including my boyfriend, lets call him L, and they talked to us, telling us about Dangan Ronpa. We very kindly ignored the weebs in the corner, squealing and talking ”japanese” when one must have targeted me, as she must have noticed my bag. My bag has little pins and badges and keychains on the zips, and one of those patches happened to be the German flag. They came over (you could smell them a mile away) and interrupted the boys. She just began SQUEALING, right in my face while her friend grinned like a physco.
”Oh em gee, Germany flag!” she squawked, flapping her arms about. Lets call me Neko, she was convinced she was half vampire cat and she openly bit people often. Ow. I always told myself I wouldn’t call anyone fat because, hey, they might have a health problem, and its their life. But this girl, just ate, all the time. She was big, tight clothes, she would have at least been a 16 in American sizes.
”Yeah yeah, Im German” This caused her to squeal even louder ( she was obviously a hardcore hetaboo) and begged me to speak German. So I said the basics, Hello, how are you, I’m good, hows life, and she began hugging me while my friend and her friend just watched. When club was over (its held after school for half an hour, 45 mins every Monday, Wednesday and Friday) my friend got a lift home. I live a 20 minute walk away from school so I had my earphones in, just beginning to walk when WHOOMPH.
”Ne Ne, Alice-Chan! Lets walk home together, ne?” Neko squeaked in that god forbidden squeaky anime voice. So I took out one earphone and listened to her talk on and on and on about kawaii thingzzzz. When I got to my house and waved goodbye, but she just stood there, gawking at my house. I have a nice house, and its pretty big and fancy, and I even have my own balcony outside my room. I went inside and closed the door, and looked out the small window beside my door. Shes holding a flip phone laden with all kinds of charms, TAKING A PICTURE OF MY HOUSE. I went into the kitchen and brushed it off. This sort of behaviour went on for two weeks. SHe offered to carry my books, called my senpai, made faces, and to avoid walking home with her I jogged home so she couldn’t keep up. Misty and her boyfriend, and L and I even had the unfortunate experience of meeting her and her weeb friends at the mall. Until one weekend….
I was at my house,in my kitchen, making nutella sandwhiches, in my black bikini *hey its summer!* working on my tan and stuff. My mother was out shopping and father had gone with her, and my little sister was at a friends house. I heard a knock on the door. I pulled on a see through beach blouse and opened the door.
”Konnichiwaaaaaa, Ali-chan!” She was wearing on Naruto t-shirt she cut up to make into a strappy one, and too-tight bright pink shorts, carrying a bag.
”Um, Hello?” I said nervously
”Your supposed to say Guten Tag!”
”*sigh* Guten tag, Neko”
”I heard you had a pool so I came over for the day!” She giggled. Ok, HOW THE HELL DID SHE KNOW THIS?! She invited herself in and ran out the back, began stripping and before I could even get out there I heard an almighty SPLASH. I sat on the deckchair while she ”swam” around. Thankfully, she wore an actual navy swimsuit.
”Ne ne, Alice-Chan, why are you wearing a bikini? That’s not kawaii at all, wheres your swimsuit? thats kawaii, IVE WATCHED YOU SWIM IN SCHOOL!” She said.
”That’s my actual swimsuit, I use this for the beach and sunbathing”
SO while she swam and talked nihongo, I texted my mother, telling her to come home ASAP. Neko then wanted to see my room, so I made her dry herself completely and change back into clothes before she went inside to my MARBLE kitchen floor. I led her up the stairs (she had great fun trying to undo the back of my bikini) and let her into my room.
”WOOOOOOOOW! Your room is SOOOOOOOO SUGOIIII!!” She screamed, running around. She immediately began TOUCING everything, my jewellery, books, wii, tv, manga, bed… She soon came to my wardrobe and opened it up.
”SUUUUGOIIIIIIIIII! Your clothes and cosplays are soooo kawaii, Alice-Chan” So while she pawed and poked at my Fem!England Cosplay and my other clothes, she begged to try my clothes on. Keep in mind she was atleast a 16 and I am a small 8 or so. She then began taking out my underwear and bras and bikinis and telling me I should try them on for her. I said a flat out no and she ”cried”. I sighed and changed in my bathroom into a blue bikini and came out. She was at my jewelly stand looked at me big eyed. I glared at her.
”I took nutin!” I walked over and looked at my jewellery on my desk.. After scanning it for a while I put out my hand.
”Pandora Braclet, give it to me” I said bluntly. She looked at me with big gawky eyes. ”NOW!” I yelled. She jumped and took the Pandora out of her pocket. I put it back carefully and noticed something else in her pocket. I went over to the shelf on the wall above my bed, where the pillows were all messed up, where I keep 6 manga’s and my hetalia coin figures. I sighed and glared at her.
”France coin figure. Give it.” SHe sighed and handed it up to me. I sat down on my bed and next thing I know she is over me?! SHe crawls over me and tells me how sugoi and what a tsundere I am. She tells me how I am a perfect German and how kawaii I am and that I would make a great seme. SHe tells me how I should break up with L and be her seme. She got all close to me and while Im here being smothered, I done what any girl would do and kneed her in her, as some would put it, ”vital regions”. She let out this god awful squeal and I ran for it. I ran downstairs, where my dad was. I hadn’t even heard him come in. I ran behind him and told him a girl from my school was in my bedroom. Next thing I hear her thumping down the stairs screaming ”COME BACK ALICE CHAN IM NOT DONE!” She ran into my kitchen and she saw my dad. My dad is a big muscley man. She just stands there and stares at me, and then just runs out of my house. I told my dad everything that happened and he reported her to the school. She was expelled for a week and never harassed me again. Shes still in anime club, Misty and I never went back.
