Damian: I am already regretting this.
Jon: How did Tim and Kon start dating?
Damian: Why are you asking me?
Jon: Because every time I ask them, they give me a different answer.
Damian: That is because Drake finds misinformation amusing.
Jon: Yesterday Tim said they met because Kon "fell out of the sky and into his life."
Damian: Technically accurate.
Jon: Then Kon said they bonded through "mutual emotional instability."
Damian: Also technically accurate.
Jon: Then Steph said they were "professionally obsessed with each other."
Damian: Again, technically accurate.
Jon: None of these answers help.
Damian: Welcome to the family.
Kon: Jon's trying to figure out how we got together.
Tim: It's funnier this way.
Kon: When I stole his coffee.
Steph: There are like... six versions.
Jason, from the kitchen: IT WAS BETTER THAN THE REAL ONE.
Jason: Agree to disagree!
Jon: Can someone just tell me what actually happened?
Tim: We kept almost dying.
Jon: That's... concerning.
Steph: Pretty standard for them.
Kon: Then we got really emotionally attached.
Tim: But neither of us noticed.
Steph: They were the last people to notice.
Damian: Grayson noticed first.
Dick: Timmy, you looked at Kon like he hung the moon.
Steph: He's doing the face.
Tim: I am making a normal face.
Jason: You absolutely are not.
Kon: Keep talking about me.
Jon: Wait, he actually gets like that?
Damian: Drake becomes significantly less irritating in Kon's presence.
Damian: It was not intended as praise.
Damian: Of course you do.
Steph: This is my favorite part.
Jason: Oh, this is hilarious.
Dick: I have the screenshots.
Dick: They accidentally confessed.
Jon: How do you ACCIDENTALLY confess?
Kon: I meant to text Bart.
Tim: Important distinction.
Kon: I sent Tim a message that said, "I think I'm in love with Tim."
Jon: YOU SENT THAT TO TIM?
Kon: I threw my phone across the room.
Bart, appearing out of nowhere: He screamed for like five minutes.
Tim: I stared at my phone.
Steph: For twenty-three minutes.
Dick: "Hypothetically speaking..."
Steph: He opened with "Hypothetically speaking, if someone accidentally confessed their love for you..."
Jason: "...what's the etiquette?"
Bart: I still laugh about that.
Dick: I said, "Do you love him back?"
Dick: Tim disappeared for another fifteen minutes.
Steph: You were blue-screening.
Kon: Meanwhile, I was digging my own grave.
Kon: It felt appropriate.
Jon: This family is exhausting.
Jon: So then what happened?
Tim: I went to the Kent's farm.
Kon: I assumed he was there to reject me.
Tim: Then I forgot every word I'd ever learned.
Jason: He absolutely did.
Kon: So we just stared at each other.
Bart: Long enough that I left to get snacks.
Bart: They were still staring.
Tim: It wasn't that long.
Bart: I microwaved popcorn.
Kon: Then Tim finally said—
Jon: THAT WAS THE SPEECH?
Kon: Then we stared again.
Damian: I have never witnessed two supposedly intelligent individuals fail so catastrophically at communication.
Damian: In an embarrassing sort of way.
Kon: "I think I'm in love with you too."
Steph: Then Kon started crying.
Kon: A reasonable amount!
Tim: Then I started crying.
Tim: It had been a stressful day.
Dick: Bart cried because they were crying.
Jon: You made it sound like this huge dramatic story.
Bart: You had to be there.
Damian: I take back everything I have ever said.
Damian: That was still disgusting.
