deleted the last one out of shame

this is so I can vent and rb stuff leave me alone

[imacliche]

Just had devine inspiration in work to make this shit more whimsical and fun and therefore I'm more likely to do it, set up a random number generator from like 0-450 then every morning spin it and you've to try and eat those calories exactly in the day

I feel like this idea is a game changer

[imacliche]

I just want to be so tiny that people are good to me, it's ridiculous that that's what it takes but it's just true

[imacliche]

Read something yesterday where someone was like "i need to get thinner until they apologize"

So real

[thinslixis]

Let's play a game called "how skinny can I get until my mum genuinely apologises to me"

[give-me-ribs]

I rather take dizziness and fatigue than being fat.

[soahap]

[imacliche]

I can do it it's just a choice I can do it it's just a choice I can do it it's just a choice

[imacliche]

Number for today: 145, I need to do this one well or even less cause I was with my bf all day and hes too lovely to stress out by not eating like he does :(

[imacliche]

Today's number 252, I'll try and reblog with how I get on but I'm going to Ikea with my bf so probably god awfully

[imacliche]

Guys new quirky grosspo, imagine a feeder fetishist is watching you eat 🫄🫄

[imacliche]

My main motivation for relapsing is so I can relapse into alcoholism and not look disgusting

[dollyg1rl-deactivated20231210]

is it weird to want people to think/know u have ana just by looking at u?

[imacliche]

Organise vitamins and coffee so I gravitate towards that first

Before eating drink something warm/ vape/ smoke

You'll feel just as sick eating as not

You can always just throw up

Remember how people used to only care about ur emotions when you weren't eating, yeah that still aplies

Do it for him

[imacliche]

Also its insane how much harder it is to sustain an ed I don't want to recover from when I've moved out and have a job and have to go to college compared to secondary school, I can't just rot in bed for a week cause I'll become homeless also I walk everywhere and all my course friends are recovering ed people so I don't want to trigger them so I always try to eat around them cause they always mention when I don't and I care about them too much to find satisfaction in that.

Long story short I need to find a balance and get back in my step in this new environment cause I've been bouncing around mad binging and bulimia for too long and I'm fucking huge now, thank fuck I've no scale anymore cause the reality in numbers would make me fucking kill myself

I've been doing this shit for 9 years why can't I just do it like I used to cryyy

[imacliche]

Here we go again !!

Update I've a bf now and ik he knows I'm fat cause no shit he has eyes but he also is conscious I never eat in front of him so like its gonna be so satisfying for him to see me fade over time

[imacliche]

Something counter intuitive in trying to eat more gut healthy fermented shit and washing it down with laxitives

[imacliche]

I'm starving so they wish they never hurt me