Sometimes I sit and think of all the amazing things I wanna do, places I wanna go, shit I wanna eat & even thoughts I wanna share and in the end I always wanted to share them with you. It took me so long to realize that you honestly was what I needed. It was the jokes we would share. Yea they were corny to the world but to us they were better then anything out. You showed me how to open up and rely on myself to fix my situation. We could talk for hours about anything. Start off talking about how dumb the color of something and would expand to how things made us feel. And the best part that's not what I wanted it to be. We were friends who just talked about different things. We got each other's opinion about life and that sprung to us just grabbing a bite to eat which escalated to catching a movie to before I knew it we were smitten by each other's presence. I honestly miss those days. When I didn't have to worry about anything l, when all was right with the world and the world was you. It was honestly scary I didn't know what scares me more the thought that someone was devoted completely to me or that this feeling could go all away in a matter of moments. I wasn't able to have that sensation taken from me at the peak of its existence. I panicked and made bad decision after bad decision and now I'm regretting it. It's to the point that I can't even open up to anyone about it. I have always been the one to take responsibility for my actions but right now doing that just hurts me more and more and more. And what's worst I mean literally worst is that I sit back and watch you live the life you were supposed to live with me with someone else. I can't blame you I can't expect the last great piece of cake to stay in the fridge forever. Someone would pass by make a double take and see no one wanted it and scoop it up. Sometimes I just wanna say to you that I miss you so so so so so so much and just wait for you to say that you have missed me more then I know. For now I'll live with this mistake and never make it again. But how many times can you kick a diamond in the dirt before you realize that it's something precious and valuable and cherish it with all you have because you know it's worth, strength, value and existence can help solve all your issues and make your life infinitely better???
