#1
In the 4.5 years I was in highschool, I think I learned 4, maybe 5 important things that have stuck with me. One of them being a principal technique in Theatre class where you analyse your character’s lines and determine their intention for everything they say or do. You should apply this to your IRL communications.
Interpersonal relationships are about the well-roundedness of communication. If you are to be a good friend/companion/whatever, you have to be many things to that person, not just one thing.
If everything coming out of your mouth is “informing/explaining” and not, for example, “imagining/inquiring/sympathizing/” you are failing at communication.
And sometimes our jobs or social roles force us to rely heavily on one mode of communication and neglect others. If you are a manager/boss/parent, you are spending large amounts of time “correcting/disciplining/instructing” and before long you may discover that you are doing this communicating with everyone around you (spouse, friends, parents), which is bad.
I can’t remember where I read this, but it suggested that most casual human interactions are really just “emotional check-ins” and we treat interactions as simply opportunities for selfish self-preservation or validation. Pretty depressing.
There is an interesting Jordan Peterson clip where he was talking about why so many young people are depressed and self-conscious, and JP summarized that the reason is most likely a lack of empathy in interpersonal relationships. If you are self-conscious, the best thing for you is not self-esteem mantras but rather developing opportunities to be empathetic and give your attention to others.









