Everybody has someone in their family who’s made mistakes. My Dad, got into cocaine and prostitution. He lost his job of 25 years, and his wife (my Mom) left him because of neglect and abuse. He drank, he did drugs and paid for sex.
He is still my Dad, and a damn good one. When I was 17 and he realized I was cutting myself, he snapped out of it. He protected me as much as he could of from my sister. He wasn’t just my friend, the Dad I only saw at midnight while he was on the couch eating ice cream cones without the ice cream. He became the Dad who woke me up at eight am in the morning to cook me breakfast and take me on drives and wandering book stores. He still sat on the couch at midnight, cone in hand withought the ice cream. He became a father to me, the one I needed. He had my back too, no matter what and I had his.
He bought anything I wanted, except the expensive gaming laptop. That shit is a thousand, no thank you. He paid for my trip to Europe, I went alone. And yes, he yelled at me when I was lost and trying to get to the airport to head home. When I came home he was there, pacing, and walked towards me and pulled me in for a hug and held back his tears.
He let his health go, on purpose. He was suicidal too. Turns out my sister was just as bad to me as him. I know it’s hard to believe that a 26 year old has her 54 year old father scared of her. You don’t know her. He wasn’t perfect, he was trying though. He was a loud man, obnoxious in fact, he was angry too. He couldn’t physically hurt us, not family. He hurt my mothers heart, not her physically. But it was still abuse. He used to tell me that he wanted my sister dead, but he couldn’t even cut her out. He’d then tell me about when she was born, she was in an incubator and reached out for his hand. She grabbed his finger and he was a father and loved her. He did everything for her.
My sister wanted a thousand dollar laptop, she got it. She wanted a new iPhone every time one came out, she got it. She wanted $50, she got it. She got everything, but if the off chance he said no? There’d be hell to pay. A hole in the wall, a call from his work, his girlfriend not talking to him, missing bank card too. No thank you, ever from her. When he was in the ICU she asked to watch as they performed an autopsy and unplugged the machines that were keeping him alive.
This man, who protected and did everything for both his daughters. This man who gave a ten dollar tip for a ten dollar cab ride, or a fifty dollar tip on a thirty dollar bill. This man who lent a neighbour a pressure washer, and help around the house. This man who sung Elvis while he wrote in his journal every day. This man who would sit with his mother every morning and every evening to chat. This man who could befriend everyone. He was a great man, a kind, handsome, talented man who made mistakes and gave into vices. But he is my father, and my friend and I love him.
He left me money too. It’s caused me trouble because it’s separated from his estate and under my name. He had no will. My sister is after my money now, after me. All I want is my Dad back. If I knew for sure that $300k was oils guarantee my Dad back, I’d write that check in a heartbeat.
It’s true you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Also money doesn’t buy happiness.
