you wanna kill yourself? imagine that. one day you're coming back from College. you had another terrible day. you're just ready to give up. so you go to your room, you close the door, and you take out that suicide note that you wrote and copied over and over and over and over. you grab a jar of pills and drink them all. you lie down on the bed, pressing the letter to your chest, and close your eyes for the last time. a few hours later, your little brother knocks on the door of your room to call for dinner. you don't answer, so he comes in. all he sees is you lying on the bed, so he thinks you're asleep. he's talking to your mom. mom goes to your room to Wake you up. she notices something's wrong. she grabs your letter and reads it. crying, she's trying to Wake you. she screams your name. your brother, scared, runs to tell dad that "mommy is crying and brother won't Wake up". your father runs to your room. he sees your mother crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. what is happening, breaks it, he starts to cry. he screams and throws something at the wall. and then, kneeling down, he begins to cry. your mom crawls up to him, and they sit there holding each other, and they cry. the next day it's announced at the College. the Director is telling everyone about your suicide. it takes only a few seconds to realize this news, and once it happens, everyone is silent. everyone blames themselves. your teachers think they were too hard on you. and these greedy popular girls, they think about everything they've said to you. and that boy who used to tease and call you names, he can't help but hate myself for never telling you how good you really are. your ex-girlfriend, who you told everything to and who you broke up with... she can't stand it. she breaks down and starts crying, blaming herself. your friends? they, too, sob, wondering how they never noticed something was wrong with you, wanting to take time back and help you before it was too late. and your best friend? he's shocked. he can't believe it. he knew what you were going through, but he never thought it would be so bad... bad enough for you to end it. he cannot cry. he doesn't feel anything. he gets up, walks out of class, and just drops to the floor. shakes, shouts, but can't cry. a few days later, your funeral. came the entire city. everyone knew you, this boy with a bright smile and a perky personality. the one who was always there, ready to lend a shoulder. many people talk about all the good memories associated with you, and there were many. everyone's crying, your little brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he's too young for that. your parents just said you were dead. it hurts him, a lot of pain. you were his big brother, you should have always been there for him. your best friend, he remains strong throughout the service, but as soon as they begin to lower your coffin into the ground, it just breaks down. he cries and cries and doesn't stop for days. it's two years later. all your teachers quit their jobs. those popular girls now have eating disorders. that boy who used to tease you is physically hurting himself. your ex-girlfriend doesn't know how to love anymore, and she just sleeps with boys. all your friends are depressed. your best friend? he tried to kill himself. he didn't succeed, unlike you, but he tried... and your brother? finally he learned the truth about your death. he hurts himself, he screams at night, he does exactly what you've been doing for years leading up to your suicide. your parents? their marriage failed. your father became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. your mom's been diagnosed with depression and she's just been lying in bed all day.
