A couple of weeks ago, the new Narnian volunteers had a conference with our host families (if we still have them) and our counterparts. Basically we worked on communication, project ideas, language skills, and much more. It was very valuable and I'm glad I didn't let my post-flu-shot-flu keep me from going. The first day was a cross-cultural education session with our host families and even though I did not have a family member attend, I definitely learned from the other fathers and mothers there. At one point, the facilitator asked us our opinions on the importance of tradition and cultural customs in a society. Of course, all of the volunteers said that while tradition is important, it should not inhibit progress, which it is so clearly doing in Kyrgyzstan. The host families stood firm in their belief that tradition and custom is the way of life in Kyrgyzstan, especially Naryn, and should not be changed or altered...no matter what. Their responses got me thinking about the idea of cultural traditions and modernization. In the last few years, Kyrgyzstan has actually pushed to restore and preserve the traditional Kyrgyz culture that was lost during the Soviet Era like music, dress, poetry, food, and much more. But just because a tradition or custom is important to a society, does that mean we should keep it? The role of women in Kyrgyz culture first comes to mind and reminds me of the quote from Letty Pogrebin, "When men are oppressed, it's a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it's tradition." Although many of you might scoff, roll your eyes, and say feminists under your breath, Kyrgyzstan is a great example of this. The role of the woman as housewife and child bearer is so ingrained here, and I am specifically speaking about Naryn, that there is literally no other option for them. When I tell people I am 24, unmarried, with no children they are shocked, confused, and even disgusted. Several elderly women have offered me their sons, nephew, or grandsons for marriage and when I politely refuse I can feel them condemning me to a lonely, ill-fated life. Of course with each generation comes change, but the hierarchy of family in Kyrgyzstan presides over everything and little girls must listen to their sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers who intend to have them married with two children by age 21 or 22. You might say that American used to be like that and true, there are still people who believe that if you aren't married and having children by your 30s you have done something terribly wrong. The difference is the level of pressure put on women in this country and that once you sign the marriage contract you are in it, for life. No matter if your husband beats you, if you are not in love with the person, if you've already had 5 children and your husband wants 6 (those numbers go up to 10 and 12 for the older generations), and the list goes on. It is very shameful for women to divorce their husbands, let alone consider remarrying. Although I have strong opinions that sound more against marriage and children, I believe that every woman deserves to have the choice. Choice is freedom: hoosing have two children instead of six, to confront your husband and his family, or to pursue work and school before family. Kyrgzy women are wonderful, caring mothers and they love their children so dearly. However, there is always a "but" or an "If I didn't..."
