I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

When you get dumped by your boyfriend graduate grad school get a job and tumblr is still the lesser of the social media evils Lucy (she/her)~27 I’m back bitches ~ Hufflepuff~Demisexual~Feminist~ JILY/marauders

[nookisms]

Person in my gas station talking to someone on the phone: ...We're in Ohio...

Me, knowing we're in Utah: ????

[nookisms]

[paddysnuffles]

Thank you for the map for context. It makes this 1,000 times funnier and intriguing.

[virtie333]

[tunafarts]

[fullmetalfisting]

I thought this was a statue of st Joseph at first and was like “yeah that’s normal”

[chongoblog]

they spent billions on this

[remanedur]

went to go check myself

[remanedur]

[charl0ttan]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[wizardarchetypes]

I want to write a book called “your character dies in the woods” that details all the pitfalls and dangers of being out on the road & in the wild for people without outdoors/wilderness experience bc I cannot keep reading narratives brush over life threatening conditions like nothing is happening.

I just read a book by one of my favorite authors whose plots are essentially airtight, but the MC was walking on a country road on a cold winter night and she was knocked down and fell into a drainage ditch covered in ice, broke through and got covered in icy mud and water.

Then she had a “miserable” 3 more miles to walk to the inn.

Babes she would not MAKE it to that inn.

[pixelartpeach]

Are there any other particularly egregious examples?

[theglintoftherail]

This book already exists, sort of! Or at least, it’s a biology textbook but I bought it for writing purposes:

It starts with a chapter about freezing to death, and it is without a doubt the scariest thing I’ve read in years (and I read a lot of horror fiction).

[wandercuriosity-deactivated2024]

This book can be downloaded for free on Researchgate, posted there by the author himself:

The Biology of Human Survival: Life and Death in Extreme Environments

[gallusrostromegalus]

In third grade, I started writing a book called "HOW TO NOT DIE IN THE WOODS" mostly about not petting the wildlife, but apparently I should finish it.

[violetsandshrikes]

every single photo I see of Kirby, the baby Asian elephant born at Houston Zoo, is absolutely killing me

[violetsandshrikes]

this thing is so delightful. i love it.

[drtanner]

I look upon this weird little freak (affectionate) and am immediately reminded of this post:

[assiraphales]

you guys made luigi mangione trend for days and I need to see the same energy for brianna boston. she is a 43 year old mother of three who ended a phone call with blue cross blue shield (after being denied a claim) “delay deny depose, you people are next” and is now being held under a 100,000$ bond and could face FIFTEEN years of prison if charged. she has no weapons, her record is clean, and yet she is being held behind bars. they are afraid of the public and are trying to subdue. do not let them!!!! be outraged that our freedom of speech is being threatened!!!!! deny defend depose! free brianna boston!

[megmelodia]

Good news, she is out with all charges dropped

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

This is apparently false (a lie, given the Polk Co Sheriff's reporting), she has not been released without charges, she has been placed under house arrest pending trial

https://www.wfla.com/news/briana-boston-case-how-would-attorneys-defend-against-threat-accusation/

Do not take your eyes off her case. The announcement that she had been "released without charges" is almost certainly an effort to disrupt the immediate groundswell of public sympathy this exhausted and persecuted single mother is receiving.

[discoursedrome]

monks debating whether vows of silence should still allow you to leave emoji reacts on the monastery groupchat

[gallusrostromegalus]

So a guy I went to middle school with now works in the vatican and according to Cam, the rules on:

Whether you can leave emoji reacts in the groupchat

Whether you can leave regular messages in the groupchat

Whether you can HAVE a groupchat

Whether you can have Electronic Devices

-vary from one silent monastic order to another, but none of them have ever successfully banned "Long trail of increasingly hostile post-it messages on the fridge".

[lemonbubble]

me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

[belloochie]

hair silky like tofu

ass firm like another kind of tofu

[val-mora]

#Tits moderate firm yet jiggly like a third kind of tofu

[deeply]

16 days to 2015 and I still think I’m in 2012

[alexsays-no]

After the full moon landed on the 23th, all of them stayed with Remus on Christmas Eve and they spent that night all cuddled up while Remus read to them.

[butchhatred]

Kind of a hot take but i dont think we can solve the issue of marginalized people being treated like children without asking ourselves why we treat children like subhuman objects incapable of thinking and undeserving of autonomy

[iremade483492348234]

time to waste the last month of 2013 on the internet

[my-neighbor-romero]

[theknightlywolfe]

[victusinveritas]

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.