heyo im back with another depressive episode :]
This summer I did so many classes in order to improve my voice and my acting and my dancing so that I could show off what I can do at my school’s musical and prove to my parents that I can sing and act. I worked so hard for this and I worked for weeks on end for the auditions.
Today I got the cast list. I’m in ensemble.
Y’all might be thinking that i’m being super dramatic and that i should be proud of even being in the musical but let me tell you why i’m sad. I auditioned, got callbacks, got really good reviews from every teacher, and i ended up at the bottom of the list for ensemble... I really hoped to show my worth this year and prove myself. However I couldn’t and since it’s my senior year, I most probably will never have another chance to because of college and then work.
The even sadder part is that the ensemble list was put in alphabetical order of last names. I’m at the bottom. My last name starts with an M. I should be in the middle. But no, they plopped me in last minute cause either,
1. they thought I was good and put me there reluctantly because all of the parts were taken (which is not that probable)
2. they put me in last minute because they needed an extra person and I was their best option from all the people that didn’t get in (most probable)
and that’s why I’ve been crying for the past three hours...
