After his run in with Victor Hesse, Steve escaped a guarded ambulance. In his haze, his feet take him to your apartment. And after a nasty fall into you bathroom window, he can’t help but give stitched apologies when he sees you again.
“For fucks sake.” You mutter, sitting up slowly and pulling the gun from under the table.
Slowly you crept to your bathroom, gun raised as you pushed the door ajar.
You saw the tread of his shoes first- boots you hadn’t seen. Then blue pants.
Then the blood. Your heart sunk.
You used your foot to push open the door, clocking the safety off.
“Don’t move-“ you spoke before pausing.
Steve laid there, against the wall. His head leaned to the side, sitting on his shoulder.
“Y/N,” he breathed.
“Fuck dude,” you clicked the safety on, setting the gun on the counter. “What the fuck happened?” You fall to your knees in front of him.
“I’m sorry,” eyes half lid looking at you- trying to look at you. “I’m sorry I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Steve babe,” you take his face, wiping blood off his cheek with your thumb. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” Your hand trails panicked down to the hem of his shirt and he hisses when you lift it. “I know I need to see.”
You pull his shirt up and it peels from the towel he’s stuff his wound with.
“Um. Okay- okay, I’m going to stitch you up but I need things first. We need to move you to my room-“
“I’m sorry,” he says again, his voice was weak this time.
“Don’t-“
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “I didn’t want to leave.”
“You’re-“ you sigh wrenching your eyes shut for a second, “you’re not dying, so stop.”
You move to stand and he grabs your arm.
“Please,” he whispers, “just..just let me say it.”
You pause, scanning the man. His skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, he was pale and his hair stuck to his forehead.
“Steve.” You whisper as his hand moves to the back of your head. You let it. You let him pull your forehead to his.
His voice shakes. “I didn’t want to leave.” He says again, “I was trying to protect you.”
“I didn’t need your protection,” you murmur. “I needed you.”
“I know,” he says again, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” his voice cracks and he takes a sharp breath in when he moves. “I’ve never wanted anything more than I’ve wanted you. And I-“ he swallows and groans, “it scared me to think I could lose you like I did mom.”
“Baby,” you move your hand to his face. “Okay, okay,” you nod. Eyes close you lean your nose against his, the tip dragging up his bridge before you kiss his forehead. “Okay.”
“I love you.” He whispers. “I still do.”
You press your forehead against his and nod, tears pricking your waterline. “I love you too. I never stopped.”
He nods weakly.
“And as much as I’d love to keep hearing your voice- baby I really have to get you patched up okay?”
“Okay,” he groans trying to move, “okay.”
“We need to get you to my bed okay? You remember where that is?” Your hand squeezes the space between his cheek and neck. “Steve?” You whisper.
His eyes are closed now, his breathing shallow. Your heart drops and you take a breath.
“Steve!” You smack his cheek and his head bobs up.
“Yeah- yeah.”
“You remember where the bedroom is? I’m gonna need your help moving you.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I’m going to help lift you up.”
“Yeah.” He whispers. He leans forward from the wall and you snake your hand behind his back.
“Okay big guy, on the count of three we go up, yeah?”
“Yeah. Three.” He starts standing and you follow after a slight pause.
“You get heavier?”
He lets out a light chuckle.
“I mean you’re killing me. I don’t remember it being this heavy.”
“I’m in a bulk.” He answers. His words are slurring now. But he’s talking. He’s responsive. That mattered.
You open the bedroom door, pushing it open and leading him in.
“I got a new vanity.” You say as you lower him to the bed.”
“Ts pretty,” he says in a breath, closing his eyes. “You’d been looking for that one,” his voice trails off.
“Okay, I’m going to go get what I need, and then I’m gonna fix you up.”
He nods.
You move his legs up on the bed, taking his shoes off. You set them to the side and unbuckle his pants, pulling them off carefully.
He doesn’t move. He doesn’t make a sound. But he’s breathing.
Next is the shirt. Each arm through the blue button up that belongs to some poor HPD officer.
You look at your vanity, at the eyebrow scissors that laid next to your blush.
It would have to do to cut off the tank.
It took longer than you wanted but finally it was off. You pulled them from under his back and tossed them to the floor.
You give him a quick look before moving to the kitchen to wash your hands.
You open the sink cabinet and pull out a white tin box and the gloves next to it.
You pull your phone from your pocket, opening your call log.
With a sigh you click Danny’s. “Something every day,” you mutter as you placed the phone to your ear.
Two rings. It took two rings. “Hello?”
“Daniel.”
“Danie-Daniel? You call me after three months of absolutely nothin’, on my phone, on the phone I pay for and all you say is Daniel?”
“Danno-“
“No no. No! I mean-“
“Danno Steve is here.”
“What- Steve? Your Steve? Our Steve? He’s at your apartment?”
“Yes, he’s here. Broke into my bathroom. He’s bleeding, a lot. Nasty hole off the center lower abdomen. He’ll be fine but I need to patch him up. And I need you to get here. Like now.”
“Yeah babe. Okay chin and I are on the way.”
“Kay, see you soon.”
You hang up the phone and toss it on the dresser.
“Alright,” you whisper to yourself, popping the sanitizer bottle cap open. “Nothing too big here baby girl, just stitching up your ex navy seal ex boyfriend.” You open the kit and pull on your gloves. “Just a normal Wednesday afternoon. Deep breath.”
It was almost cathartic, stitching your ex. Your mind was quiet as you cleaned the blood around his wound. It was focused when you pulled the paper towels stuffed in his skin. It worked like a clock as you packed his wound with gauze. It was still when you deep stitched it after a refresh. It remained still when you stitched the opening back in place.
But it swam when you looked at him. It replayed your fondest memories.
When he took you to the beach that Kono frequented- and taught you to surf. Or tried to.
When he held your hand in the gym when you were frustrated with yourself over another incorrect form.
How his hand felt on your back as you two walked the flower field in the trees.
How movie night felt as you laid on his lap. He’d brush your hair, braid it as the movie played.
He’d braid your hair every night. You slept in braids, and he wanted to braid.
Or when he kissed you, soft and slow when he came home to dinner.
Home.
You smile slightly, taking his hand carefully, thumbing at his fingers.
“Fucking idiot.” You whispered, pressing your forehead to his hand. “If you don’t wake up, I’ll kill you myself.” You kiss his knuckles and stand with a sniffle.
You pick up the dirty gloves and toss them in the trash by the bed.
“Y/N?” You look towards the door.
“Danny,” you call out, walking down the hallway. His eyes meet yours and your shoulders fall. He opens his arms and you fall into it.
He wraps his arm around your back, the other finding place in your hair. “You okay?” He asks ins soft voice.
“It was bad Danno,” your voice is stiff and muffled. “It was really bad.”
“I know.” He whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.
“I’m sorry.” You voice cracks. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Hey hey, babe it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. You got nothin’ to be sorry for.”
“No I just- I just fucked off when he left me okay? And I held it against you too.”
He wipes the tears from under your eyes. “It’s okay, I promise you, it’s okay.”
“He told me he still loved me. Told me he was sorry,” you sniff. “I’m scared Danny, I’m so fucking scared he’s not going to wake up.”
He smiles lightly, brushing his thumb across your cheek. “If you’re the one who stitched him up I know he’s going to be fine. Besides, he’s a tough asshole, ‘Kay?”
You nod. “He’s in the bedroom.”
Danny presses another kiss to your forehead before walking down the hallway.
You look awkwardly at chin, “Hey Chin,”
“Hey Y/N. Sorry we had to meet again like this.”
You smile lightly, taking the man into a hug. “It’s okay, thanks for being here.”
He ruffles your hair light as you two follow Danny.
“Um- after a short course refresh, I stitches him up. Shank wound I’d say- cylinder and not awful in diameter.”
“How’d you manage that?”
“A friend of mine works as a surgeon, every now and then he gets me extra supplies for my first aid kit. Last week he got me absorbable stitches. Good timing I guess.”
He nods. “You usually do have something for everythin’.”
“Do you guys want coffee? Tea?”
“Yeah actually, if you don’t mind? Coffee?”
You look towards chin who shakes his head. You nod and step out of the room.
Danny follows shortly after and sits at the table.
“So, I know Steve wouldn’t have killed the governor. What’s going on?” You look up from your iced coffee. “Wo fat?”
Danny gives you a look. “You know he doesn’t like you getting involved with that.”
“What? Are we forgetting he showed up in my bathroom? That he bled up my sheets?”
“No. No I know. I know.” He rubs his face and sighs. “He wanted to- He wants to keep you safe y’know.”
“I know.”
“It is Wo Fat. He killed the governor. Pinned the murder on Steve. We’re trying to clear that.”
You nod quietly.
It quiet for a moment. “How you feeling?”
You shrug. “The man I was going to marry is laying in my bed, in a puddle of blood. The man I love broke into my bathroom half dead, crumpled on my floor, and framed for murder. I’m not feeling exactly great.”
“What…What exactly happened with you two? One day I saw you in his office dropping off food and when I turned around you weren’t speaking.”
It’s your turn to give him a look. “You expect me to believe you don’t know?”
“No I mean- I mean he told me some. Protecting you from Wo Fat. Being scared of you turning out like his mom. Hurt. Dead.” He shrugs. “But there’s more to it than that. I know that.”
You signed and rubbed your eyes. “We were going to have a baby.” You say, eyes glued to the condensation rolling down the glass of your cup. “I um- I found out probably a day before I miscarried. I wasn’t far along, I would say even a month. I just had a feeling- I um, I had a dream. I took a test the next day. I didn’t even get to tell him before it was all gone. Before she was gone.”
“Y/N babe I’m so sorry.” He reaches across the table to take your hand. You squeezed it lightly.
“I dunno I just shut down a little. I tried to play it normal.”
“Does he know?”
You nod. “Yeah. He does. It wasn’t long after that we broke up.” You shrug and wipe your cheeks with a deep shaky breath.
“After his sister.”
You nod. “Bout two or three weeks later. Not long anyway. We didn’t speak again after that. He tried to send me groceries- ice cream and flowers. In a card said he wanted me to feel better- you know.”
Danny nods. “The baby?”
“Yeah. I took it for the first couple weeks, I liked seeing his hand writing. I missed him. I didn’t take it after that. Hurt too much to think about it. Last thing I told him was I never wanted to speak to him again. I would’ve followed him to the end of the earth- but we were dating for what? Half a year? And he was vague when he spoke to me- I don’t know I thought he left because I,” you squeeze his hand and let go. “Because I lost the baby.”
“No. Oh you sweet girl no.” Danny moves the seat across the table, arms wrapping around your frame. You lean into his chest, finally snapping. The grief, the hurt, the exhaustion, the shock. Your eyes welled up and you hid your face in the cloth of his shoulder. Your body shook when you finally let yourself cry, Danny’s hand rubbing circles in your back. “He’s a prick but never and I mean ever would he do something like that. He loves you more than you could ever know.” He murmurs into your hair.
You nod quietly. It’s not until you’ve calmed does Danny take your head in his hands. “It wasn’t your fault. You hear me? It wasn’t your fault.”
And then it’s quiet. You find yourself on the couch, head in Danny’s lap asleep with the TV on while you wait for Steve.
While Chin sits in the room waiting for him to take up.
You aren’t sure how long it was before you feel a tap on your shoulder. “Hey babe,” Danny smiles lightly.
“Is he awake?” You sit up.
You don’t wait for an answer, you walk down the hall and Chin steps aside.
“Steve?”
“Hey,” he smiles. It’s warm. It’s alive. His eyes crinkle when he does.
“You’re a fucking asshole,” you sob, moving over to the bed and crawling in next to him.
“I know.” He breathes, “I’m sorry,”
“I’ve heard sorry more times today than I think I have ever in my life.”
“Lay down,” he says, he finger finds your cheek. “Just for a second.”
He doesn’t have to ask twice, you take a place next to him, your head resting on his shoulder.
He takes your hand and intertwined your fingers. “You stitched me up pretty good I hear.”
“I hope so.” You murmur. “Took a refresh on deep stitches. You’re my first victim though.”
He lets out a small laugh. “It feels better already,” he smiled.
“You’re going to need antibiotics though, especially with that towel shit you had.”
“I had few resources babe.”
“I know, I know. I sterilized it how I could but you’re going to need preventive antibiotics. Maybe some probiotic soda to go along with it.”
He looks over, pressing his forehead against yours. “Thank you,” he whispers. “The second time you’ve saved my life.”
“The second time?” You brush your nose against his. “When was the first?”
“The day I met you. Cussing out the world because your car broke down.” He smiled.
“You think you’re slick don’t you.”
“I mean it.” He says, “I knew as soon as I saw you I was going to love you. I didn’t know how- but I knew you were going to be special; important to me.” He presses a light kiss to your nose. “I love you. I love you, and I know I have to prove it to you again, but I want to.”
“I thought you left because of the baby,” you whisper, your voice suddenly small. “I thought protecting me was a front. I thought you were mad. So I said I never wanted to speak to you again.”
“No baby,” his voice is soft, “No I’m so sorry. I had no idea you thought that- that you felt that way. It isn’t your fault. I promise you. I was never mad.” All you give his a nod and he continues, “I love you. I want a life with you, I want to be a dad with you, I want to be a husband to you. Can I show you I mean it?”
“Yeah,” you smile, “yeah I guess you can McGarett.”
“Thank you,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss you. His lips brush yours like an invitation, hesitant but wanting. You close the distance and press your lips to his.
It’s soft. It’s slow. It’s elegant even, it pours out the months of want, the months of need and yearn. It pours out unspoken words and feeling. It becomes a promise.
Steve wasn’t going to leave you again. Ever. He was going to show you exactly what you meant to him. Steve wanted his life with you, and he was going to make sure that happened.
regularly thinking about Danny disliking Steve at first bc he thinks Steve sees himself as invincible and better than everyone, until he realizes that Steve just doesn't have any regards for his own life and is afraid of losing people...
Steve also would always choose to die with someone (Danny) instead of losing them and continue living.
He does this in s3 e6 when Danny is threatened by the bomb and in s5 e18 when he tries to get arrested with Danny bc he knows he'll get killed there.
And I think my fav example of Steve's behavior is s8 e9 and e10, bc in e9 they're all infected by the virus, including him and he is totally calm and accepting his fate. While in e9 when Danny gets shot he is the most stressed and freaked out I have ever seen him.