While it's very clear his opinion on their relationship, I think this is like.. Where it gets fickle. His stance on gay (I will specify MLM) love is very very different to how he feels about straight love. Realistically, even if he never watched his own show in the final post editing state, he did have to do several takes of the confession scene and he continued to choose ignorance in favor of acceptance. Not that Dean is gay, but that Cas is confessing gay love to him.
He heard Castiel's words, prideful and confident and full of romantic love, and still went the 'family' route. There's a clear distinction in how you come out to family vs. someone you love. I say this, because should Cas have somehow been a woman Jensen would have definitely had no problem saying it was romantic. And because, as far as I've been able to dig and see throughout SPN's history, this is the first time he compares their relationship to Father/Son, which like I said, is weird and new and still completely inappropriate.
In fact, he plays his straight character roles the same, with the same intimacy. Castiel's confession was deeply intimate in a clear romantic way, not situationally the same as other straight roles he's played but intimately the same, if that makes sense? I'm yapping, but I'm just trying to elaborate is that this is a pattern he continues to show. And something we can't know for sure unless he elaborates on why he cannot fathom MLM gay love to the same love as FLM (is that a real term??).
But of course that is a WILDLY innapropriate question to waste over 150$ on asking some rich guy "Why do you keep comparing gay love to incest?", and a therapy session he will never take LOLL.
But he clearly does recognize Cas' confession as romantic. At (I believe) purcon 8 he said it's not subtext, it's clear text and that Dean understood it was romantic. He doesn't ignore canon, he actually kinda represents it (even if that makes us mad).
Personally, I think it is more that queer people obviously have a deeper and different perspective on topics like this, than a straight white cis man. For example, when he started talking about it being a coming out scene, I realized that I had never even for a second considered it as such. And I think a lot of the queerbaiting that happened in the show are things he doesn't even pick up on (at least in the way we do).
Plus, I think it seems more extreme bc Misha exists in the same space, a man who, at least to a certain point, has a way deeper understanding of it than the average straight guy. (And from what I know, that hasn't always been the case.)
Though I do believe it would be great for Jensen if he were to play a canonically queer character somewhere for a while, because that would deepen his understanding. Bc yeah, he probably is the kind of person who sees chemistry in a man and woman dynamic as very likely to be romantic, while for same sex dynamics it takes a lot more. A lot of people do and it unfortunately takes quite a bit of engagement with the topic to recognize that. It is just very deeply rooted in our society.
I also genuinely don't think he's trying to actually compare queer love to incest, but with his phrasing I can't blame anyone for understanding it that way. Idk if you were there, but in the whole grant of all that was said, it made sense to me and wasn't that bad. (Doesn't mean I agree obviously)
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