Hands up if you were the child that read thousands of books and as an adult you hit burn out and now only read stories about the same 2 idiots falling in love over and over as you don't have the brain power to get emotionally attached to new characters.
shoutout to AO3 authors who write 100k fics for free while juggling mental illness, academic burnout, 3 jobs, and a deep-rooted need to fix fictional people.
7.18 & 8.09: “I know what you’re gonna say. I feel the same way.”
Or: a gifset I’m filing under Dammit Guys Please Let The Other Person Talk For A Minute And You Might Both Benefit Once You Realize You’re Still Alive Afterwards, Ugh, You Idiots.
(Hawaii Five-0 2010, Steve/Danny, Mature, Post-finale, eventual fix-it, eventual getting together, heavy angst, depression, suicidal ideation, mental health issues, PTSD)
What is he going to say? I can’t fight, so I can’t be among people. I can’t be with Danny because then he’d know. They’ll never stop coming, but he can stop fighting. He can stay away so no one else gets hurt.
Fic is up! Please mind warnings. More info below!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Visuals
The story takes place at Joe's cabin, Montana. According to my research, the cabin shown in 9x10 is much more likely to be located in Hawai'i than anywhere else. Apparently, the roof would need to be a lot steeper to clear snow if it were in a state with a lot of snowfall. So we will pretend the roof is steeper but the layout is the same:
The first floor plan is the original cabin, drawn to the best of my ability from endlessly rewatching 9x10 and 9x11. The majority of the assault in 9x10 comes from the east side of the cabin with the RPG blowing up the south window of the living room. The second floor plan is after Steve's renovations in the story.
Thimble, Montana, is entirely fictional but based entirely on Victor, Montana. The location I chose for Steve's cabin (completely randomly and fictionally) is this:
It faces the Biterroot Valley and is at approximately 6000ft altitude, which makes the weather in the story plausible.
Asshole, the deer--Algeria found his picture!!! He's posing in front of Steve's fence 🤣
Steve's plants (pictures from the internet--many thanks to AlgeriaTouchshriek for most of these):
Actually, my therapist has told me this is a healthy way of processing things. Because you can get the trauma out of your head And you can write the ending you wish it had. The trusted person rescue, the catharsis of getting to kill the one who hurt you.
It's good for your brain. It's healthier than bottling it up. Fiction is where we go for emotional release. That can be true with trauma too.
Adding @dear-massacre's tags because they are so true:
#this is why it's important to remember that fictional characters are fake #they have no agency. they're made up #it hurts no one to make any character go through the horrors #it is healthy and cathartic