As if you didn't know, Glossier is the well-loved brainchild of the makeup-loving crew of Into the Gloss, the kind of beauty publication I'd love to love if they didn't make me outrageously uncomfortable. Even though Into the Gloss is run by people who seem to have had the proverbial silver spoon in their mouth since the day they were born - at least, no one bats an eyelash at interviewing people who talk about the 50 dollar lipstick they fell in love with at age 16, surely not a universal experience - Glossier is an actually fairly affordable brand for a lot of people and their branding hits all the right notes. I was seduced by their trademark powder pink, their vibrant, natural-makeup, multicolored models, the accessibility of their website, and finally, the quality of the products I put on my face. But as time has gone on my opinion of the brand has shifted a little bit, and I want to evaluate it as honestly as I can, so I've been putting this off for a really long time because there are so many products I had yet to try.
I'll start from the top with this one.
Priming Moisturizer, $25
Of the initial range of products, back when Phase 1 consisted of this, the skin tint, the face mist and balm dot com, this was the only truly necessary one, and is certainly the product that earned them their landslide victory over the hearts and wallets of their consumer base. Glossier's packaging is pink little bags! They send you stickers with every purchase! All the same, it was this liquid-y, face soothing, super hydrating tube of joy that made everyone hype the brand. Even in the dead of winter when this isn't quite doing it for me, all i need to do is add a few more steps to my face routine, which I'd surely be doing anyway, to get the hydration I need. I just find this sits well on the skin, absorbs to a nice velvet finish, and does, probably, prime my skin nicely for makeup. It certainly makes it go on smoothly and evenly, and doesn't leave my skin feeling like it needs more moisture.
Skin Tint, $26
Is this a very thin liquid that offers essentially zero coverage? Yes. Do they claim it has diamond powder in it without acknowledging that while a real thing, diamond powder does not come from diamonds? Oh yes. But somehow, Skin Tint really is slightly blurring, redness-reducing, color-evening in a way that imperceptibly makes your skin look better, and if your skin is relatively okay, this + concealer is actually very wearable. I'm almost out of this bottle and I've been debating whether or not to repurchase it, because when they updated the shade range, it looks like they lightened the shade Medium to me (which is what I use). But the color is so sheer I can't see how it would actually make any difference. On very lazy days I tend to use a few drops of this as a base and then apply RMS Un Cover-Up over the top of it because it blends out more easily and I don't have to apply it everywhere.
Soothing Face Mist, $18
I never paid money for this one; I got it when they did a giveaway thing where if enough people used your recommendation link to sign up, you'd get free stuff, and 20 kind friends of mine used my recommendation link so I got this and the coconut balm. Well! This is the best rosewater spray on the market, and easily one of the least expensive. (The Mario Badescu is cheaper, but uses dog rose, and my skin reacts badly to it. Everything else seems to be more expensive.) I've tried other face mists since I ran out of this one, but absolutely nothing compares in terms of rose scent or hydration benefits. I wore this constantly. In the morning, in the evening, before makeup, after makeup - there's no way you can go wrong with it. And then, of course, I emptied it. It's taken me literally a year but I've repurchased it and guess what? I use it. All day. Every day. A non-essential essential product that is, from my frustrated attempts to find it in another brand, best from Glossier.
Balm dot Com, $12
Look, this is a thick balm that is mostly petroleum, though they advertise its castor oil and beeswax as being what makes it so grand. But I admit this one is a little better than other thick petroleum-based balms I've tried, like the TokyoMilk one or the C.O. Bigelow and Smiths rose salves, which are thicker and much thinner, respectively. I got the Coconut flavor in the aforementioned giveaway and it changed my opinion about coconut as a scent; it's buttery and rich, not fake in the slightest. I use this after exfoliating my lips in the morning, and it's mostly sunk enough in by the time my makeup is done that I can put on lipstick over it and walk out the door, but I don't like it as a balm on un-exfoliated lips for the same reason I don't like any other petroleum-based lip balms. When they updated this with more flavors, I got the Rose one as well (of course) and it's very pretty, but its pink tint is non-existent.
Milky Jelly Cleanser, $18
This was... my first fumble with this brand. At this point, Glossier's star was risen so high that I think they could have produced anything and gotten the same degree of praise, but I was out of my regular face cleanser and desperate to try this. After all, everyone said it was absurdly hydrating and smelled of rosewater! I would have trusted this brand with my life, but all they asked me to trust them with was skin. I delivered myself into their hands.
This cleanser is not very good. I am sure other people who love it are not lying, though some of them might smudging the truth a little. The hype for Glossier is very real! Milky Jelly is made with hyaluronic acid, which is meant to absorb moisture from the air into your skin, but often just absorbs it from your skin and brings it to the surface, leaving it momentarily very plump but drier after the hyaluronic acid is gone. And i think that is the case with this one. When it goes on (and the pump makes it very hard to control how much you use, so in spite of the low cost of this, I think if I used it regularly i'd go through it very quickly), it has a thick jelly texture and a natural rose scent that I loved, and it feels divine on the skin - but my skin felt dry when I rinsed it off! That is a no-go for me in a face cleanser. But I was desperate to make this work for me anyway.
Until I realized it was breaking me out. Stopped using it, skin returned to normal. Went back to it, happened again. So it was clearly the cleanser.
That's just my skin, however. The real problem I have with this product is that it was advertised as a divine makeup-removal product, so you didn't have to remove your makeup and then wash your face. In actuality, this wouldn't remove my makeup at all, even if I washed my face with it a second time. I have a hard time believing that's just my skin somehow, so when I see people praising how this melts away every trace of your makeup and leaves your skin soft and moisturized, I have to admit, I'm a skeptic.
Stretch Concealer, $18
First of all, I bought this in the shade Dark, which is... too dark. Medium was out of stock, but I don't think I'm going to purchase Medium at any point in time so I can't compare them.
I saw a lot of Glossier's go-to models and spokeswomen praising this for its sheerness and dewiness where a lot of concealers are bulletproof and cakey. And... respectfully, I think most people don't want sheerness from their concealers, or they, at least, want buildability. The finish of stretch isn't dewy; it's greasy. It is wearable under powder, but it absolutely doesn't have a normal skin finish even on my skin which is normally oily-leaning. I didn't hate Stretch Concealer when used as extra coverage foundation over my Skin Tint, but I found I still needed an additional concealer for the purpose of concealing blemishes. If you're a Glossier model you already don't have blemishes, do you now? But I am not a model of any kind and believe it or not, I require coverage from my concealers. A personal preference, I know. Stretch's oily base doesn't build when you try to add more, it just moves the product around.
To compare this to the RMS Un Cover Up that I strongly suspect it was inspired by, they aren't all that similar (although I do think Stretch would be a less frustrating product if it were, like Un Cover Up, marketed as a foundation and concealer; I wouldn't expect as high a coverage from it then). Stretch doesn't settle into the skin, but kind of sits on top of it a bit, has a dewy to greasy formula and finish, and isn't buildable. Un Cover Up has a velvety to dewy formula, has to be worked into skin but then melds entirely with your skin and looks like your skin, and is buildable to a roughly medium finish (though I still need actual high coverage concealer on my spotty or my bad-feel days).
Haloscope in Quartz, $22
This is one of my favorite and one of my least favorite products. Let me explain.
At this point, I realized that Glossier was no longer what I had loved it for being. They had released lipsticks and a brow product that, unlike the moisturizer, were, in spite of their low prices, costlier price per ounce than other high-end brands - so though each tube cost less than other brands, you would get very little product. I wanted to try these things and their formulas and promises sounded appealing, but I just couldn't justify spending the money. I also was so unimpressed by the concealer and face wash not living up to both Glossier's promises and the army of yeswomen in its service who go on social media and talk up how they beat out everything else that when the same thing happened with Haloscope, I couldn't be excited. How much respect could I have for a brand that sold its highlighter on the strength of its real crystal extract (it was in their ad copy and word for word praised by all the girls who reviewed it on youtube, so you can deduce they were told to mention that specifically) when it actually gets it glimmer from mica?
That said, I did buy Quartz. It's a solid shimmer stick in a plastic tube that adds a glimmery pigment that looks like light hitting your face but nicer. I actually love the dewy core of this and wish they'd modify it into a lip balm because I'd use this as a lip balm if I could; I just hate frosty lips. At first Quartz did not impress me and I wished I had gotten Topaz, but it grew on me, and its neutral beiginess makes it wearable with every blush, eye and lip combo I own. I still don't like its hugeness (I like to apply with a finger) or the packaging it comes in, which makes me cringe. I still don't like how their ad copy and model army clearly suggest that the glow on your face is the result of crystals, when it's the result of mica. I hate that Glossier literally calls this "the galaxy's first dew-effect highlighter", when RMS Beauty's living luminizer has literally been around longer, and other natural beauty brands have been making highlighters with the exact same ingredients, coconut and castor seed oils, for the exact same finish and formula for years. Do I love this product? Yes. But what it reveals about Glossier's marketing is ugly.
Vapour, RMS and Ilia all literally have comparable products, and they don't mislead their customers. The one thing I will say about Glossier is that theirs costs less.
Moisturizing Moon Mask, $22
The masks actually came out in Glossier's second release, but it took me this long to get around to buying them. When I got this, I was heavily unimpressed, contributing to an overall apathy towards the brand. Its moisturizing powers are only so-so, and you have to apply a lot of product for it to look like it does in the cute pictures of models masking. (That's not a bad thing - you don't need that much product, after all - but it made me realize Glossier has been doing the misleading advertising thing for a very long time.) I got the moisturizing mask because the "juice cleanse for your face" branding on the detoxifying mask is very ED-normalizing language (cleanses don't work, they are made up, your kidneys do all the cleansing you need) and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
I got this in the summer and it did absolutely nothing, but trying it now again in January it does a little, but not enough that I'd recommend it. It also stings my face a little bit, which I'm pretty sure is just my skin.
Limited Edition Haloscope in Moonstone, $22
I'm reviewing this separately because I was, like everyone else, swooning over the prospect of a bluish-opal highlighter in the same formula as Quartz and Topaz, and this is not the same formula as Quartz and Topaz. Those don't ever completely dry on the skin, but this is much oilier and has much less pigment, so while it is bluish and a tad opal-y, in order to build it up you also get a much tackier finish. It feels like wearing a balm on your face, except not because I own Living Luminizer which is a balm and that's still more pigment in less product so it's never that sticky on the face. I'm so relieved I didn't buy the Black Tie Set just to try this one. I would have been so pissed. But it does remind me that I wish one of these brands I like would come out with a genuinely dewy blue-type color instead of lavender shades. I love RDF Ghost Light, but i'd love it even more if the blue duochrome showed up on me.
Boy Brow, $16
Finally, ages later, I finally committed to this one, and I love it. I'm so frustrated, because I have gone from loving Glossier to wishing I didn't love anything from them and didn't need to buy their stuff, but there's just no other brow product that has this texture, this hold, this longevity, this beauty on the brow. One thing that surprises me is how genuinely black the shade Black is. I love how it looks, but it's rather intense, and I suspect won't work as well on the days when i want to wear nothing on my eyelids, so I might need to get Brown at some point. The only caveat I have to this is that, in spite of its low cost, you do genuinely get a small amount of product, and the tube is tiny. You don't need much product to do your brows, of course, but I know I'll have to repurchase this often. It's probably worth it, because I've never seen anything even approaching this product anywhere else.
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So that's where I stand on this iconic brand: somewhere in the middle, easily swayed to either love it again or hate it depending on the product I'm using. They are unquestionably dishonest, which is something I can't respect. They're also one of the only brands out there with a serious commitment towards advertising to women of all skin colors, and demonstrating how every single product looks on every skin tone, which is rare enough that I feel some gratitude towards them regardless. Their products lean towards people with dry skin, which I don't quite have, and almost a cult has grown up around them that makes it astonishingly difficult to find honest reviews.
There are still products I haven't tried. While i know that Glossier can surprise me with quality products even after I've made up my mind, the Generation G lipsticks and Supers serums look to follow a pattern with which I am by now familiar. The lipsticks claim to be the first ever lipstick to "look blotted without the blot", to be matte and sheer at the same time. I'm already unimpressed. It takes no time at all to apply a lipstick very lightly over a balm and blend it with your fingertips for a stained look, and I don't need a lipstick to do that without my fingertip, and from the swatch reviews on the website, it requires a lot of lipstick to get to that point, and there's not a lot of product in those little tubes. (I still want a couple of the colors for the colors themselves, but I don't expect that I'll want to throw out all my other lip products after I get them.)
The Supers are even less impressive. They are $28 for half an ounce when your usual serum is an ounce, making them $56 an ounce, very much the same as most high end serums. Glancing at Super Bounce, the top ingredients are water, glycerin, dimethicone - not unusual or particular. By contrast, The Ordinary sells a comparable hyaluronic acid product at $6.80 an ounce. In fact, doing my research, each Super has a primary product that you can get over at The Ordinary for like ten dollars an ounce. Super Bounce is Hyaluronic Acid and B5, the same thing I just purchased from The Ordinary; Super Pure is Niacinamide and Zinc, which I also just purchased from The Ordinary. Super Glow, the most tempting serum, is Vitamin C and Magnesium, and The Ordinary has several options for you there. (The one I wanted was sold out, so I haven't gotten it yet. My own glowing skin potion is out of reach for now, but not forever.) I'm not against spending 60 dollars an ounce on magic skin care, mind you. I'm just doubtful that the Supers truly are more magical than anything else on the market, and much more tempted by The Ordinary, whose no-frills approach (sometimes so no-frills that my un-science-trained mind can't decipher everything they are saying) is a pleasant antidote to Glossier's model-testimony-backed hyperbole that covers up that it has only a very small number of products that are truly unique on the market.
You should try: Priming Moisturizer is the only product I will die on a hill for. Boy Brow is perfect for genuinely textured, pomaded brows, but if that's not your ideal brow, you can pass. I do like the rose balm, but I'm sure other things are out there. I do like the skin tint, which does somehow brighten my complexion and is unbeatably low-maintenance (something I truly rely on as i work at 5 am), but most people won't care for something that low in coverage. I can't decide about Haloscope. The shades look as advertised and I do love them, but they're not entirely incomparable to other brands I've tried. That said, the Vapour and Ilia illuminators that look most similar cost over ten dollars more. But those are truly all-natural brands, which Glossier is not. I'm pretty sure that face mist owns my soul. I missed it so badly when I didn't have it, and I am overjoyed to have it again. If it isn't broken, don't fix it, etc.
You should pass: unless what I would call its flaws sound like benefits to you, I can't think of anyone who actually needs the Stretch Concealer, and I had a very poor experience with Milky Jelly. I can't truly say there is a product here you shouldn't buy, but I will say there's nothing here you should buy for the hype, because there are comparable products out there, you need only look.