The Imp Merc Group

I.M.P RP Blog. Millie. Moxxie. Blitz. and Loona. 18+. Mun is 30. Canon/OC/Etc friendly. Side blog to jeff-the-gnome-king.

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"And you'll have the time to learn, in between doing office work and shit....you do know office shit, right?"

He looks over at her a moment, pausing in his search for documents, before scoffing lightly and turning back to his drawers.

"Of course you know office shit, you're a chick. But whatever you don't know, Loona will show you."

He concludes, finally getting everything he needs and settling back down. Clicking a pen as he does.

"Alright, let's do the boring part of this."

[hellsmayflower]

"Well if going to college would count." *Mayleene would joke a bit laughing lightly but is not gonna mention that she was a college drop out so that she won't make it like she'd be the laughing stock at any minute through this new job. She'll just say leaning back a bit watching him getting the documents but she'll frown at his response.* "Kinda a sexist thing to say." *Mayleene would say as that hit a nerve a bit from dealing with that same thing back on Earth and it just ticks at her ever since. She'll watch him get the documents and she'll just close her eyes sighing a bit hoping this would go so well.* "Okay. I was born in Salem and raised...well in foster care."

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Foster care, huh? My Loony was in foster care until I adopted her! See, you've already got so much in common with her!"

Blitz adds on idly, barely registering May's reactions to the stupid bullshit popping out of his mouth.

He gets her to sign the employment paperwork, and it turns out she'll be paid a pretty decent amount for what was basically a glorified office admin position. Apparently the book had been that much of a problem for the imps....

"Alright. There we are, welcome to the I.M.P family!"

HE says when they're done, shaking her hand.

"Office hours are 8am to about 5pm or so. Depends on how much of a pain in the ass the day has turned out to be."

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"And you'll have the time to learn, in between doing office work and shit....you do know office shit, right?"

He looks over at her a moment, pausing in his search for documents, before scoffing lightly and turning back to his drawers.

"Of course you know office shit, you're a chick. But whatever you don't know, Loona will show you."

He concludes, finally getting everything he needs and settling back down. Clicking a pen as he does.

"Alright, let's do the boring part of this."

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Hazbin Hotel....?

"You mean that gang the Princess of Hell keeps singing about on TV? Yeah, I've heard of it."

He rolls his eyes lightly.

"As long as you show up on time for work, I don't care what cult shit you indulge in on your free time, yeah?"

The imp dismisses lightly, and starts digging through his desk for the few employment documents he actually bothers with. Listening to the young woman as she began to sputter about......whatever.

"Look, May. Babe. You got a freaky pentagram on your hand, that book has a freaky pentagram on the cover. And it listened to you. As far as I'm concerned, that's good enough. Especially because we're gonna keep dealing with freaky witch shit, most likely. Jobs in Salem pay INSANE money!"

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Eventually, introductions are made. The boss, her new boss, was Blitzo, and her new coworkers were Millie, and Moxxie - the other imps - and finally Loona. The hell hound.

"Alright May, come back to my office and we can talk your new job. Sign some liability waivers, all that shit."

Blitzo says, motioning for her to follow into the big back office.

[hellsmayflower]

*Mayleene would over look at this book and can't help but feel some dread of...how much capable this pentagram mark can be a long with this book...she was further more afraid to find out to be honest. She's not a witch! Just because she's from Salem. The historical place of witches. She'll just look over at Blitz smiling now as she'll nod. At least he's helping her to be distracted.*

"Yes,sir. And again,thanks for this job. I mean,at least what I feel like I can be good at. Though at times,I would just be as a waitress."

*Mayleene would joke a bit about one of her past jobs.*

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"It doesn't matter what you were before, lady. What matters is what you wanna be now!"

Blitz says smoothly, ushering her into his office and he makes his way to sit at his desk. Leaning back comfortably in his desk chair.

"Alright, let's talk job description. Hnnn....?"

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Eventually, introductions are made. The boss, her new boss, was Blitzo, and her new coworkers were Millie, and Moxxie - the other imps - and finally Loona. The hell hound.

"Alright May, come back to my office and we can talk your new job. Sign some liability waivers, all that shit."

Blitzo says, motioning for her to follow into the big back office.

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Yeah, yeah lady. We can talk about whatever ya want AFTER you get a wrangle on this damn book!"

And the imp is rushes over to grab at her hand and drag the 'sinner' into his conference room. Which was currently in shambles. With two other imps trying wrangle down a giant spell book that was floating about and causing havoc.

"FIX THIS!" He demands

[hellsmayflower]

*Mayleene gasped a bit feeling dragged by Blitz and is flabbergasted from what the giant spell book was doing floating around. Great. Nothing but witch stuff seeing the familiar pentagram mark. But...she had a feeling about something. She looks at the pentagram mark on her hand and she'll curiously held her hand out. Both the mark glows and...so did the book. It then came to her in a float causing her to be taken back but she'll slowly grab the book with her hands as if...she commanded it to come to her. She'll quickly set the book down on the table and backed away as if it burned her. She'll look over at the imps.* "Uh...fixed?"

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Oh thank fuck." The two other imps mutter in unison before slumping together on the ground. Groaning, a little worse for ware.

Meanwhile, Blitzo is absolutely beaming.

"Oh fuck yeah! You're hired as the weird human book expert! I'm Blitz, and these two are Millie and Moxxie!"

He says brightly, pointing to himself and his employees as he introduces everyone.

[hellsmayflower]

"...I'm Mayleene." *Well. She's hired. That's a good thing. But still,she has a bad feeling about the book and she's curious if these imps had gotten this book from Salem since they do go to Earth from what it would seem if this book came from the living world above.* "Did you get this from the museum up in Salem by any chance since...well...I sorta came from there before I...died." *Completely leaving out the fact that she is human despite of her palm looking like it's life like.*

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Salem? Yeah! We had a job out in Witch Country! Ended up havin' a run around all over the place during it. And then Moxxie over there had to go and confuse a museum for a gift shop-"

Blitz starts only for Moxxie to interrupt,

"Actually, that was you! And you thought the book was for gimmick recipes!"

"Yeah, well! I'm sure there's some recipes in there!"

As the two continue to squabble, Millie sighs and walks over to the "sinner" Mayleene.

"Welcome to tha team. Fer what it's worth."

It might actually be pretty easy for the human to hide how alive she actually was.......

[rpmemes-galore]

exhaustion … sentence starters

the exhausted

“I can’t sleep.”

“I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“Can you help me back to bed?”

“I’m okay. I’m not even that tired.”

“I don’t remember the last time I slept.”

“I can’t sleep, yet. There’s too much to do.” 

“I don’t want to sleep. I keep having nightmares.”

“I promise I’ll sleep in a bit, just let me finish this, first.”

“Can you help me lie down? I can’t move, I’m too tired.”

“I can’t even think straight anymore… maybe I need to sleep.”

“Of course I want to relax. But, we don’t all get what we want.”

“I’m so tired I can’t do anything, but I’m not tired enough to sleep…”

the concerned

“You keep yawning.”

“Go. Sleep. That’s not a request.”

“If you’re that tired, just take a nap.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were this tired?”

“Those are some bad bags under your eyes.”

“You don’t have to push so hard. It’s okay to rest.”

“You can barely keep your eyes open, go lie down.”

“I haven’t seen you sleeping in a long time, what’s up?”

“I just had to stop you from toppling over. You’re not okay.”

“With everything you’ve been through lately, of course you’re tired.”

“I heard you thrashing around last night. Nightmares? Is that why you’re so tired?”

“You know, you keep fretting over everyone else, but you won’t even take a second to relax, yourself.”

misc

(doze) : one muse falls asleep on the other’s shoulder

(tuck) : one muse finds the other passed out onto the bed, and tucks them in

(collapsed) : one muse finds the other passed out on the floor from exhaustion

(carry) : one muse finds the other after they’ve fallen asleep on a chair / couch, and carries them to bed 

(cover) : one muse finds the other asleep somewhere other than bed and covers them with a blanket / their jacket

(assist) : one muse finds the other so tired they’re having trouble standing and helps them walk somewhere to lie down

(comfort) : one muse has been having nightmares and unable to sleep, so asks the other to cuddle with them to help them drift off

[memelleity]

the house with a clock in its walls sentence starters

magic? magic's not real.

the other night, we did something awful.

we don't know the truth.

we fought about it, and we fought some more, until finally i just… took off.

you. it was you in my dreams.

what were you two doing?

not everyone can appreciate the intricacies of a free-form jazz odyssey.

they did everything together. they were best friends.

now you're just showing off.

having a child means being scared for them 24/7 and doing it anyway. it's the whole damn job description.

something is wrong. something is very wrong.

i foolishly walked into a trap.

you can't do this alone. you need help, and i can help you.

look, i get it… you're scared. i am, too.

are we playing poker, or am i playing solitaire?

i'd been left for dead.

is that why you didn't go to ____'s funeral?

you know this is about the complete opposite of real magic.

come out, come out, wherever you are! you can't hide forever.

i'm sorry about everything.

it's not what you say. it's how you say it.

you drive like an old grandma.

i taught you everything you know. i didn't teach you everything i know.

i don't have a choice here.

we'll hide in the basement, like sensible people.

finally, a smile! i was starting to think you were incapable.

you should have seen me before the war.

i'll take what i can get.

you can tell me.

you went through something awful during the war. we all did.

don't just stand there!

she missed you. she talked about you all the time.

you know how i said there were no rules? actually, there's one rule.

she thinks she's smarter than me because she's got more college degrees.

you're gonna have to be brave.

can you feel that?

i'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

whoever said i died?

this is no place for a kid.

what are you doing here? where are all your friends?

for a small price, of course.

is this place haunted?

well, i'm gonna drown my sorrows in some hot cocoa. you want some?

you've seen this code before?

you're lonely, huh?

you know, i didn't think this is how i was gonna die.

why won't you talk to me?

look, ____ drives me nuts. and he doesn't always smell so terrific. but he's gotten me out of more tough scrapes than i care to mention.

i thought you'd want this.

it's not safe for you here. i was wrong to ever think that it was.

okay, this is no time for jokes.

why can't you help us?

well, for a boy who loves words, you're sure at a loss for them.

raising the dead? now, that would be a trick.

you could stick it out. but no no, when the going gets tough, you get going right for the exit!

i'm gonna need your help on this one.

what are you doing here? i told you it's not safe.

well, what are we waiting for?

please don't make me butcher him.

go ahead, yell at me. call me some names.

just leave me alone, okay?

i like being your mom.

depends on what you mean by "bad." i'm nice, but i'm not that good.

i don't know the word yet, but thank you.

so… how are you making out?

maybe another time.

wow. that was really really terrible. i mean, just awful.

i just think it might be easier for you if you acted a little more… you know .... normal.

are you wearing a robe?

i can't do this alone.

you always were a lousy liar.

oh, come on. don't kill yourself before i've had a chance to meet you.

it's creepy that you know that.

i played it perfect. he suspects nothing.

you can eat cookies till you throw up, for all i care.

you're responsible for keeping a human child alive?

why are you always wandering around at night?

i see weird stuff out of the corner of my eye, and… i feel like… i almost feel like…

you're a coward.

seriously, are you almost done?

please. there must be some part of you that doesn't want this.

i was dead long before i died.

this is my fault.

we're all very proud of you.

you look like an insect. i mean that as the highest compliment.

i got hurt one time. pretty badly. and even though my outsides got better, my insides never did.

sometimes i get over-enthused. i'll admit that.

life is like a bicycle. to stay balanced, you've got to keep moving forward.

you can look that one up.

children make mistakes, they get in trouble. that's why they're children.

have you seen anything creepy?

no, we gotta do the responsible thing: lie to the kid.

oh, i slept peachy. like a baby. like a big, peachy baby.

you gonna saw a lady in half?

now you're just showing off.

your mom was my sister, so that makes you family.

you are indomitable.

calling that a poker face is an insult to faces.

look, i don't know how to take care of a kid.

i know something's wrong.

you've got to get up! you've got to get up right now!

i'd give anything to be with you again. you know that, right?

death's been good to him.

i just wish that i met you a long time ago.

if you tell anyone i was there, i'll break both your arms.

am i gonna be okay?

are you gonna axe murder me?

i've found that all one really needs in this world is one good friend.

i'll— i’ll make it up to you. please.

i think i'm smarter than you because i'm smarter than you.

i'm going to bed. you're welcome to stay up as long as you like.

i'm sorry you had to see that.

she looked up to you. she needed you. and now she's gone.

we just have to hold it together.

how come you left home?

this is me. i'm not brave.

here, let me help you with that.

there's very few problems in the world that can't at least be helped by a good chocolate chip cookie.

this is over.

i'm sorry you lost your family.

what the hell were you thinking?!

and no, to answer that look you're giving me, ____ and i aren't anything kissy-faced.

i learned from the best.

there must be something we're not thinking of…

i'm not gonna axe murder you.

what's wrong with weird?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Oh you have GOT to be shitting me!"

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"....that's just wrong...."

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Uh....I don't get it."

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Oh, barnacles."

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Yeah, yeah lady. We can talk about whatever ya want AFTER you get a wrangle on this damn book!"

And the imp is rushes over to grab at her hand and drag the 'sinner' into his conference room. Which was currently in shambles. With two other imps trying wrangle down a giant spell book that was floating about and causing havoc.

"FIX THIS!" He demands

[hellsmayflower]

*Mayleene gasped a bit feeling dragged by Blitz and is flabbergasted from what the giant spell book was doing floating around. Great. Nothing but witch stuff seeing the familiar pentagram mark. But...she had a feeling about something. She looks at the pentagram mark on her hand and she'll curiously held her hand out. Both the mark glows and...so did the book. It then came to her in a float causing her to be taken back but she'll slowly grab the book with her hands as if...she commanded it to come to her. She'll quickly set the book down on the table and backed away as if it burned her. She'll look over at the imps.* "Uh...fixed?"

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Oh thank fuck." The two other imps mutter in unison before slumping together on the ground. Groaning, a little worse for ware.

Meanwhile, Blitzo is absolutely beaming.

"Oh fuck yeah! You're hired as the weird human book expert! I'm Blitz, and these two are Millie and Moxxie!"

He says brightly, pointing to himself and his employees as he introduces everyone.

[rpmemes-galore]

romantic relationship hc q’s: 

Is your muse a good kisser?

Is your muse monogamous? 

What would your muse’s ideal date be?

Wild date night out or quiet date night in?

“How easy is it for your muse to say, “I love you”?

How important is physical appearance to your muse?

What is the longest relationship your muse has been in?

Does your muse like a height difference with their partner? 

How physically affectionate is your muse with their partner?

What would make your muse immediately abandon a date?

What physical attribute does your muse find most attractive?

Does your muse enjoy giving/receiving grand gestures of love?

What personality trait/type does your muse find most attractive?

What is your muse most likely to notice first about a potential partner? 

Does your muse like receiving gifts from a potential partner? If so, what?

Has your muse ever been heartbroken in a romantic relationship before?

Does your muse like being asked out, or do they prefer to do the asking?

Does your muse find the idea of a secret admirer charming or off-putting?

Would your muse prefer a spontaneous date night, or a planned night out? 

Does your muse like pet names? Do they like calling their partner pet names?

Does your muse fall for someone quickly, or does it take a bit to win their heart?

Does your muse consider financial status an important factor in dating someone?

Is your muse smooth when it comes to flirting? How do they handle being flirted with?

Does your muse tend to get jealous when in a relationship? Do they like it when their partner gets jealous over them?

Does your muse consider romantic holidays  ( such as Valentine’s )  important to celebrate when in a relationship?

How much stock does your muse put in first impressions? What is the best way to make a good first impression with your muse? 

Is your muse one to sit down with a new partner and formally define a relationship, or do they prefer to go with the flow and see what happens?

When it comes to paying for a date, does your muse prefer to split the check, thinks the man should always pay, or thinks that whoever invited the other out should pay? 

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

"Yeah, yeah lady. We can talk about whatever ya want AFTER you get a wrangle on this damn book!"

And the imp is rushes over to grab at her hand and drag the 'sinner' into his conference room. Which was currently in shambles. With two other imps trying wrangle down a giant spell book that was floating about and causing havoc.

"FIX THIS!" He demands

[rpmemes-galore]

scared sentences for your scared needs … sentence starters

“Hide me!”

“Who’s there?!” 

“It wasn’t human!”

“You can’t do this!”

“Get away from me!”

“Don’t let them hurt me!”

“This can’t be happening!”

“Please! Please, help me!”

“I-I know someone’s there!”

“Please… please, I’m scared.”

“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!”

“Are you… are you here to hurt me?”

“There’s… there’s something in here.”

“No, don’t make me go in there alone!”

“Stop! Please, stop, you’re scaring me!”

“No, no, no, don’t leave me here alone!”

“No, stop! Stay away! I said, STAY AWAY!”

“I saw it! You have to believe me, I SAW it!”

“Wait! I d-don’t… I don’t know what you want!”

“I’m not lying! It was right there! It was right THERE!”

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Starter for @hellsmayflower

It was a pretty simple flyer, obviously some handwritten message photocopied onto multiple posters that were posted across several blocks in a haphazard manner.

Seemed the local mercenary group was having a bad time.....?

[hellsmayflower]

"....Hey...." *Mayleene was just passing by on her way back to the hotel before Charlie would wonder about her as that flyer got her so distracted from how that mark looked familiar. She'll look at her palm. That mark. It's the same damn mark from that stone artifact at the museum back in Salem! She's finally found some help!*

"Okay...if I were IMP...there's got to be the building that's somewhere...." *But where? If only there was a miracle or a sign that it is close.*

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

As if right on cue, one of those digital billboards that were nearby her would change images. Moving on to this silent presentation of an ad for IMP. Imploring the viewer to hire them and just where to find their business for an in-person appointment.

If she wanted a sign, she had it.....

[hellsmayflower]

"...Well. That's one damn of a sign." *Mayleene would chuckle with a small shrug and she'll walk over to the billboard to look up for the directions. She'll read silently seeing it was in Imp City. She'll take out her phone to map the location so that she can let it guide her. If it's Imp City she'll have to go,then it'll have to be. Hopefully Charlie can understand. She'll stop for a cab and she'll get in with enough money she has to get herself there.*

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

Finding the building would be easy enough, I.M.P was rather well known to the imps. So the cabbie would take her right there. And then there were signs directing to the floor that the 'firm' was on.....

And then all of the yelling would lead the way to the obvious office door.

Despite the noise, one simple knock would send the door flying open.

"Yeah?! Waddya want?!"

[hellsmayflower]

*Mayleene would blink from that sudden yell by this angry looking hellhound. Good thing she was in her sinner disguise since it would be a bad idea if this Hellhound sees her as human and immediately attack her. She'll clear her throat with a small smile.* "Hello. I'm here because of that ad about the haunted book?"

[immediatexmurderxprofessionals]

The change in demeanor was immediate at that question.

"Oh shit, really?"

"Fucking awesome! Come on in!"

And the hellhound is motioning her inside and she yells to someone inside the office.

"BLITZ! WE GOT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT THE BOOK!"

"THANK FUCK!"

An imp pops his head out from around a corner, looking harried. His eyes landing on the newcomer, the sounds of yelling and crashing coming from where he was leaning from.

"You! You recognize the symbol on the book?!"