Fate is fluid, destiny is in the hands of men

23/Anything goes (Was Batonski)

[mjalti]

me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace

me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building

[thebootydiaries]

#imagine: this is justin’s face when u tell him ur pregnant 😍😍😍😍

[poorlytimed-deactivated20190607]

I am going to end my life

[madcat-world]

Call of Cthulhu (3, 6, and 7) - ömer tunç

[morbidfantasy21]

Eternal by ivan stan

[horrorandhalloween]

[memesoutoftime]

[onlytheembersremain]

You sellin anything new, Cabbage Patch?

So what if the merchandise has blood on it? It gives it character!

[intensional]

Your blog fails to make me smile :) I love you!

did you forget the word never or is this a hate message 

[tumblingtumbleleaves]

[jointphotographicexportsgroup-d]

they: wyd me: 

[oopsabird]

everybody is so bored while stuck inside bc of covid-19 that i just got an ff.net alert that a fic from 2009 i was following updated with a new chapter for the first time in FIVE YEARS

[bugheadsextape]

Reblog for your favorite old fic to rise from the grave.

[deinde-prandium]

Reblog for your writer’s block to go away so that you can actually resurrect your WIPs

[secifosseluce]

quick, tell me the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten. my doctor told me i have impeccable eardrums 

[drakatzen]

my dentist once told me (in an appreciative tone) that i have huge neanderthal-like canine teeth

[secifosseluce]

oh i AM losing my mind over this 

[78nanosieverts]

I have frequently had doctors complain to me that I have tiny ear canals and like

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information besides apologize for providing a subpar patient experience?

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

When I had surgery, the anesthesiologist had me open up my mouth so they could “see what they were working with” when they intubated me and they were like “oh nice, lots of room! [assistant] come look!” And the assistant came to look down my throat and was like “nice” 😂

[yidquotes]

My wife, when we were first dating, told me I reminded her of a walrus, you know, a really pretty one.

[physticuffs]

a dancer once told me i had beautiful achilles tendons. (they are v long, i think. i have always been able to squat with my feet flat on the floor with no practice, which is unusual for americans.)

my doctor told me that my blood pressure is excellent, like yes i’m young and healthy but i have blood pressure out of a medical textbook, and i told my mom that and my mom said oh yes, you have genetically perfect blood pressure. you inherited it from my side of the family.

[despazito]

A mortician told me my skintone is so pale I’d be a pain in the ass to embalm

[eusociality]

A yoga instructor complimented me on having “stretchy hips” - I’m not overall flexible I just apparently accidentally trained myself to be a master of all hip opening yoga poses by sitting in the weirdest ways possible at home.

[ehlbee]

My sonographer exclaimed that I have “the cutest little uterus” while giving me an ultrasound.

[pastrygeckos]

I once went to a doctor for hip pain, she proceeded to lay me down and stretch my legs all kinds of ways, going “wow you’re so flexible, I guess you’re fine”. I’m hypermobile.

[followthebluebell]

I have excellent veins. “Very juicy,” said the nice totally-not-a-vampire nurse taking my blood for a hormonal panel.

[pangur-and-grim]

a hairdresser once got legitimately aggrieved with me because my hair follicles are densely packed (as though if she frowned hard enough I’d relent and space them out properly?)

[thefloatingstone]

When I was getting a physical, the doctor asked me to shift on the bed a little so I just lifted myself up from my stomach to move slightly and he was all ”Oh! Nice strong core!”

[ruinedchildhood]

[just-shower-thoughts]

It’s totally fine to play video games by yourself but solo board games make you seem like a loser/loner

[thebootydiaries]

Tears fill my eyes as I read the words on my screen. The world seems to stop spinning for the slightest second as I re-read the anonymous message over and over again, gripping on to the hope that the words will magically disappear. But they didn’t. Anon had done it; they’d figured out that the only way to make me take off my hijab was to call my hair ugly. My one weakness.

A tear streams down my left cheek.

Eight years of academy hijab training…wasted. I had to prove this extremely relevant and good-looking anonymous person wrong, I cared too much about what they thought. How could I live my life knowing that there is one person out there who thinks probably my hair is ugly maybe? How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I face my family? My shoulders shook as I cried silently, and my chair squeaked ever so slightly at the vibrations; as if it, too, was crying in sorrow.

It wasn’t until that moment that the second part of the message dawned on me… how would I prove them wrong without breaking the rules? Was it really against the rules? I reach into my hijab and pull out a scroll. At the very top, in cursive jet-black inked letters, the word ‘Rules’ stares back at me. My heart is racing as my eyes frantically read the scroll.

‘Rule #1: no killing people,’ it reads. I let out a whimper. There go my evening plans. 

Suddenly, my eye catches the next words. The scroll is rustling in my trembling hands as I turn my face away, tears spraying out of my eyes like the spit of a white person as they try to justify racism. The cursive words felt more like a curse of words, vivid and refusing to disappear as if I were still staring at them even through my closed eyes.

Rule #2: don’t show ur hair girl it’s ugly lmaooooo

[queernuck]

as the french say, merci goku

[childweanedonpoison]

my new favourite thing is italian regional presidents and mayors absolutely LOSING IT at people violating quarantine. here’s a eng subtitled compilation for y’all. (the president of campania region; the mayor of messina; the mayor of bari; the mayor of gualdo tadino; the mayor of tutolo.)