in october of 2022 i was brutally raped. i was hit, slapped and had a knife to my throat. i had my pants and underwear ripped off leaving bruises from how hard they were pulled. i had bruises on my stomach and hips from getting punched. i had bruises on my chest, collar bones and neck from almost being asphyxiated. i almost passed out from the hits i took but stayed conscious enough to grab my things and leave quickly after it was over. I went to an scenic view with a tall cliff and was inches from jumping, when i heard someone tell me not to. When this originally happened i tried to blur it out of my mind, i rewrote what happened to me because the real story broke me. ive always tried to see the good in people and find it so hard to reach out when im having a tough time living. but i continue to although i honestly dont have the energy or mentality for this. this happened over 3 years and to this day i struggle with this problem where i cant fully understand or grasp what happened to me. i live in a constant brain fog. it never gets better, i blame myself, i cant escape this reality. i dont want to be me.