I'm a grown-ass man!

1. I'm a professional chef 2. I'm kind of a hick 3. My last girlfriend cheated on me with the guy from workaholics and it has filled me with an unknowable and fearsome rage.

[t4timekeeper]

“why do you hate taylor swift” im a kandi artist and all the craft stores in my area are sold out of pony beads because of the eras tour

[t4timekeeper]

thank you penis sexer

[thepenissexer-d]

THE PENIS SEXER

[testure-1988]

Beavis said ACAB

[sexhaver]

i love it when people end their dumbass points with a snappy one-liner that is technically true but in the complete opposite direction they intended

[sexhaver]

"i only concussed myself on a bike once and it wasn't even as bad as the time i walked directly into a metal pole" is not the supporting argument you seem to think it is

[appleschoose]

I just noticed chris chan is the closest thing to an IRL truman show as there ever will be

[ace-pervert]

Yup.

And this is why no one should ever be in that position

[imnotafeddammit]

Chris Chan is proof that god isn't real.

[nematodeneedles]

Moomoo Milk

[delusion-of-negation]

staff when am I getting polls I've been nothing but a menace and this is how you repay me?

[imnotafeddammit]

Do non-americans know that a groundhog decides how long our winter is going to be?

[everythingfox]

A bun having a snack at Walmart

(via)

[thewintersoldier]

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991) - dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[porterr-robinson]

[anotherpapercut]

[amoisthobo]

This is literally the funniest video on this entire site

[vergak]

[xylophonetangerine]

[retiredmahoushoujo]

[cellarspider]

… I usually do not touch anything to do with PETA, but I feel compelled to inform everyone that there are, in fact, legal frameworks in some places for claiming dibs on roadkill, either as salvage or placed on a waiting list to receive it when it becomes available. Here’s a map of US laws on the subject. The vast majority of states require a permit, or permission from the relevant police department.

In areas where there’s state oversight, it helps ensure that people don’t poach and lie about it. States and municipalities with roadkill regulations require people to take the whole carcass from the site of death or from state custody, usually after an audit or an on-site inspection of the carcass.

Some municipalities donate the carcass to food banks. Most people use it as a windfall that will be butchered and shared with others, or frozen and kept for months or even years. Moose sometimes get hit, and they are hecking big.

Do people eat the roadkill raw? I’d guess probably not. However, the Alaska Department of Public Safety does have this to say on their website:

[imnotafeddammit]

Back in my hometown we had the roadkill lady.

A short squat middle aged woman would roll around the back roads in a high vis jacket, throwing whatever dead animal she could find in the back of the stinkiest Chevy Silverado on earth.

Dunno what she did with it, she didn't work for the county or the state. And I sure as shit wasn't going to ask her. Just accept that she was keeping the roads clear.

[deirdreskye]

American middle school: okay for gym class today we're going to learn how to square dance like a bunch of cowboys. The cookie monster pajama pants white trash girl and the most suicidal autistic boy will be going first

[sonic-wildfire]

[tittyinfinity]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[meezer]

obsessed with this post. everything about it is just hilarious to me. the anger in the title..