Hi. Spare a Spank?

18+. hey check out how hard i can pee PWWWWFFFFSSSSSHHHFFFWWWWWWW--- ---28-they/them---

[bubbleteavangelist]

[junglejim4322]

My delusion that im always right really isn’t helped by the fact I almost always do end up being right

[writing-prompt-s]

You mention to your co-workers that you think the bronze statue that you pass by everyday on your way to work is such an eyesore. Their only response is “What statue?”

[commanderchrist-deactivated2017]

Huh, that’s weird, I think to myself.  I hope I’m not going senile.

I went home early from work that day.  I dry humped my pillow until I came and fell asleep watching The Tick, starring Patrick Warburton.

[charl0ttan]

I'll block a bitch on coinstar for cheese

[pjackk]

We all got that feeble & extremely unpleasant loser friend that wont let u touch their shit just because yo hands sticky as fuck

[mrhealyourgirl]

happy pride to losers who get no bitches and stack no paper

[aw4et234tetaw3]

[sea--burn]

[melancholic-whimsy]

they hate me for my flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations

[druckers]

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him

[mewwon]

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

[halondrus]

broooo last night was a cry for help

[kushblazer666]

[hungwy]

21 STRANGEST DINNER ANOMALIES

[discount-supervillain]

[tatzelwurming]

i took a drug test and tested positive for hummus #fuck

[firstethicalpisces]

happy tipsy touch it thursday everybody