“I don’t know how to stop feeling everything so deeply. I look at the smiles on the faces of the ones I love and I look around my messy room. I keep still and look at how everything sits. Then somehow it’s the middle of the night and I’m stuck with a heavy chest and eyes redder than the roses in my Grandmother’s garden. I start thinking about the things I shouldn’t and I don’t stop. Some time, everything that I care for won’t be existing. My parents will be gone, and I’ll follow soon after. The friends I once had will live their firework lives: fast paced, bright and meaningful. But then they’ll plummet down, fizzling out. I can’t understand why I often get upset over the inevitable. Once you get stuck in a certain frame of mind, it’s a struggle to get out. We grow up and change, but little habits never quite leave us. I wish I could pour all of this out of me. There’s all of these names and diagnoses but I feel like some of us are just so intelligent that we constantly see the truth in everything. Even on the days that are more pleasant than the others, a persistent thought remains: it’s all just temporary. Temporary smiles, temporary tears, temporary feelings. Is there any point to anything? I can’t remember any of my days last week, so do they even matter much? What was the point of them? It’s difficult to want to see the daylight, when it’s 3:56am and you can’t stop feeling that you’re simply not cut out to live.”
ellievsbear
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
origamiaround
