godless

on the way home, i wrote a poem

[valtsv]

do you ever have something happen to you and just know that it would've had an absolutely devastating impact on your capacity to endure if you'd been in an even 5% worse psychological state

[valtsv]

it's like watching an ice shelf break off a glacier and plummet into the water inches from your little sailing vessel and knowing you were this close to joining it in the frozen depths below. oooooohhh girl.

[syzygy-yzygy]

So sick of dog motif what about cat motif.

I love you but we don't love the same. I can't be near you when you want me to be. Your love is smothering and your need to keep me safe is trapping me. I'm my own person but I don't know how to show you that. I lash out and hurt you even though I don't mean to. I need you to move slowly around me or I'll bolt. I love you, even though I don't say it. If you stay still I'll sit next to you, and even though we don't understand each other we can be together like that.

[syzygy-yzygy]

@aspengrown this is the rawest possible addition to this post thank you

[mylordshesacactus]

and also:

cat love as in I am small and scared and all of my instincts and my experience and your vast power say you're a threat but I am choosing to trust in your kindness despite my fear. you could kill me with one hand but I know you won't.

cat love as in I can tell you are upset and I don't understand why so I will sit stiffly beside you and awkwardly provide the only reassurance I know how to give. I am uncomfortable with every single moment of this but it is what you would do for me.

cat love as in I am small and powerless but I will curl up back to back with you and stand guard while you sleep and I will mean it with every fiber of my being.

my cat Nepenthe was a former stray behavior case at risk of euthanasia because she kept mauling potential adopters. on her second week in my apartment--having already attacked me multiple times without provocation, I will add, I wasn't special, she needed genuine help--she slinked out of the bedroom yowling at me. when I went to check on her she kept walking back and forth until I followed her, where she insistently paced between my feet and her hidey-hole in the back of my dresser, increasingly distressed. about three seconds after she gave up and hid, an absolutely torrential rain front hit. she didn't understand yet that we couldn't get wet inside. she'd been trying to warn me.

she didn't know me yet, but she knew I hadn't yelled at her when she hurt me. she knew I hadn't tried to hurt her back. she didn't understand why she was attacking me; those episodes probably scared her more than me. she knew I "shared" food with her, and that I asked before touching her. and she went out of her way to bring me into her safe space, to protect her friend.

cat love as stiff hesitant uncertain acts of service that are devastating in their sincerity, as well.

[naamahdarling]

I'm sorry, I had a response to add on, but now I'm crying over your cat. Oh my god.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

cat love as stiff hesitant uncertain acts of service that are devastating in their sincerity, as well.

He had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.

Isabel Allende, from The House of The Spirits

[glowcowboy]

i want to be a sweet and friendly girl but there’s all this anxiety. and the horrors

[iremluna]

and rage

[glowcowboy]

yeah and also the rage

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

i missed tumblr

[queenstylinsxn]

Reblog if you’re bisexual, support bisexual people or are actually a bunch of tiny velociraptors in a human suit

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

<3

[joygucci-deactivated20160123]

Reblog if you're black tumblr.

You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.

[zaybntdaw-blog]

100%

[wetpsy-deactivated20150407]

200%

[decodethefallenmoon]

Someone who’s black or supports black people and their human rights. it literally says that in the description. “You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.” 

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

<3

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

okay so imagine living in a typical small, city apartment in a typical city building but inside the apartment there are like rooms dedicated to aesthetics, like your balcony is full on plant core, your study is light academia, your art studio or recreation is dark academia, your bedroom is softcore and your kitchen is cottage core, and your living room is like a warmly lit place with comfy sitting and has tiny souvenirs and memories from every person and place you know and washrooms have scented candles lining the shelves

[mehahu]

There’s two types of anger one is dry and the other wet and basically wet anger is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and I hate that cause I feel weak when I’m crying while angry I like dry anger when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp I guess wet anger shows that you care too much and dry anger means you’re done.

[thecrownedadonis-deactivated202]

“When I meet others like me I recognise the longing, the missing, the memory of ash on their faces. No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark”

— Warsan Shire, from “Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth: Conversation About Home (At The Deportation Center)”, published c. 2011.

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

It's been six months since we last fought. Not a single argument. And I'm starting to think maybe that's worse. Maybe we just stopped caring at all.

So you let me paint the walls bright blue and I let you stay out till three in the morning. I go to sleep crying and you break under the burden. No questions asked. Hollow eyes and empty smiles are all that we know now. We're breaking promises we never made.

This is not how I pictured us.

-via @nirjaarorapoetry on Instagram

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

"Some girls are so full of heartache and poetry and those are the kind of girls who try to save wolves instead of running away from them."

-Nikita Gill

[lvrq-deactivated20220311]

I just want to jump into an enchanted book, or run through a library where magical things happen at night. I want to dance among the stars, or fall in love with the heir to a gang that shares a blood feud with my family. I want to receive a letter to a magical school, be remembered by my constellation of freckles. I want to dance at a ball and catch the eye of royalty; be given a task that determines the fate of the world we know. That is why I write— to be as close to my dreams, my fiction, as I can be. That is why I read— to peek into the world inside another's head. Is that too much to ask?

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

when taylor swift said "i see delusion when i see it in the mirror" and "i'm the one who burnt us down" and "you kept me like a secret and i kept you like an oath" and "i don't know anything but i know i miss you" and "so casually cruel in the name of being honest" i-

it made me feel things i didn't know i could feel

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

i make little notes in every book i read. beside the lines which make me laugh, or cry, or smile like a dummy. the ones that make me wanna throw the book across the room and curse the stars. because they make me feel something. because deep down i hope that someday i'll lend this book to someone special and as they read each word,

they'll fall in love with the parts of me buried in between the lines.

[bakwaaas]

‘your parents just want what’s best for you’ that is objectively not true for a lot of people, sometimes they want what’s best for them or what looks the best to other people, or what they think is best for you is based on outdated, backwards and messed up values & beliefs. even if their intentions aren’t bad doesn’t mean they even remotely know what’s good for you

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

Don't you see how our love is killing me?

[imsorryitsjustthechemicals]

7 ear piercings, straight hair, smooth skin and the urge to study could really fix me right now