I'm telling the Pope

You've been bad

[imtellingthepope]

Omg you guys have no idea how grateful I am that this portable tabletop fan arrived a week earlier than expected. It’s been averaging 27-31C daily, and I just canNOT go on like this at all.

[imtellingthepope]

Today marks exactly three weeks since the Emily The Etsy Witch casted a wealth and prosperity spell.

The closest thing to a blessing so far happened a few days ago when someone bought a $150 Arc'teryx jacket from my Poshmark closet ($120 after commission). I also sold a Lululemon backpack on Facebook Marketplace yesterday for another $50.

But life has otherwise been quiet and I've been struggling with the waiting game.

It's only been a week since my interview, which is basically the blink of an eye in government hiring, and I know the team interviewed two more candidates on Friday. They're probably going to need this whole week to check references, but surely they would've contacted mine by now, and I imagine at least one of them would've given me a heads-up.

I'm trying very hard not to spiral into the what-ifs, but it's been difficult. I guess I should be grateful for a couple of lukewarm internal competitions have recently popped up to keep me occupied over the next few days.

Yesterday I treated myself to an impromptu haircut before meeting Metro Man & Lady, along with the mutual friend I complained about not too long ago, for dinner.

To my surprise, she was much more pleasant to be around this time, and I was reminded of how much we actually have in common. Maybe group settings are the secret ingredient.

We're all getting together again this Saturday for a pop-up mystery escape room at the downtown library, and she even offered to share her food tickets with me if I join them at the food festival beforehand.

As one final nudge to the universe—and thanks to @notaparagraph's recommendation—I ordered both a Road Opener spell and a Negative Energy Cleansing spell from Emily the Etsy Witch this morning.

Perhaps I should've gone all-in and added the Protection or Curse/Hex Removal spell instead, but maybe it's best to save those for September if I can't find a new job and have to return to my current one.

[andrearrrrr]

What you see is a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain’s parietal cortex which creates happiness.

Happiness. You’re looking at happiness.

[brutalistarchitecture2]

@exitwound

[dreamyeuphory]

~ A bit of piece and quiet to calm the mind...~

[nosfera-tits]

Basically I like when there’s garlic and onion

[imtellingthepope]

I ate so much cheese this week and now I must pay the piper

[imtellingthepope]

It feels like my life is dying a slow death but I’m eating manchego black garlic cheese and for 5 seconds life felt pretty good.

[imtellingthepope]

Today I am going to let myself feel the sads and scares, and maybe even the anger, but then I need to do some work, okay?

[imtellingthepope]

Filed under "Stories from Uber Drivers"

Today my driver was retired Filipino man named Augusto.

He moved to Canada 20 years ago and married to a Chinese woman, his second wife, who recently retired. He grew up in the Philippines, where he studied civil engineering and met his first wife, who was Iranian. They eventually moved to Iran, where they lived for nearly 20 years during the war. During this time they regularly fled across different areas of the country for safety, and he worked for several Japanese engineering companies before eventually immigrating to Canada.

These days, he and his second wife split their time between Canada, China, and the Philippines. He told me to ignore what I read about his home country in Western media because, in his view, much of it is propaganda. He also told me I was lucky to be Chinese and should be proud to come from such a rich culture.

When we pulled up to my neighbourhood, he turned around to thank me for letting him share his story and told me I'd made his day.

I'm proud of the fact that he is one of many drivers who have said this to me over the years.

I'm honoured to hear people author their own introduction, and I always walk away feeling richer for it.

These are the moments that remind me what makes life worth living and fighting for.

[imtellingthepope]

Post Mortem

Well, I survived it.

The interview wasn't bad, but it also wasn't flawless.

There was one technical question that I absolutely should have anticipated during my preparation, but completely overlooked, so I more or less had to admit that I could only speak to it at a high level.

Additionally, I didn't have perfect STAR examples for half of the situational questions asked, so I had to adapt the strongest ones I had. Ultimately, I'm not going to fault myself for not having a textbook example of something that simply never happened to me.

Overall, though, I think all of my responses demonstrated that I'm a well-rounded analyst with sound judgment, good interpersonal skills, strong operational instincts, and a genuine aptitude for strategic policy work.

Ironically, the one technical question I answered well wasn't even graded (lol... why though?). I was able to explain the evolution of the policy work and the sector, it's governance structure, the ongoing direction of the work, and the core issues driving it, while drawing direct parallels to my current policy area. The manager seemed genuinely impressed by that answer, so I'm hoping it helped offset the earlier question I stumbled on.

My impression was that the director was less interested in testing technical knowledge and more interested in assessing how I communicate, manage projects, navigate risk, work with stakeholders and leadership, and present myself. If so, I feel reasonably good about how I came across.

Another pleasant surprise was learning they'd recently been approved to hire two additional analysts from this competition, bringing the total to three spots to fill. From what I gathered, they've interviewed three other candidates so far. It's not a guarantee of anything, but at face value at least the numbers are more in my favour than not.

The biggest unknown remains my current supervisor reference (ugh, I want to know the numb nut who decided that a current supervisor reference should be mandatory, or what the logic was behind that requirement), but it's outside my control. At this point, all I can do is hope the hiring director and manager are experienced enough to read between the lines of my interview, weigh all three references appropriately, and make their own assessment of who I am as a candidate.

[imtellingthepope]

BTW this was my mock interviewer this morning. She was awful; didn’t pay attention or hold eye contact, and she kept getting distracted licking her butt.

It was rude, unprofessional and I left disgusted.

[imtellingthepope]

Everytime I start to spiral right before an interview, I remind myself of the most ridiculous interview I ever had.

Among all the ridiculous things that transpired leading up to and during the interview, the hiring Executive Director asked me a gotcha question, and after having painfully bullshitted my way through the previous ones, I just looked AT THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE MOST SCRUTINIZED PORTFOLIO and said, “I’m afraid I don’t know, but I’m sure I can look that up and find out. However since I can’t do that in the middle of this interview we should just move on to the next question...”

WE SHOULD JUST MOVE TO THE NEXT QUESTION.

The look on his face as he dropped his pen and adjusted his tie when I said that.

Anyway, HR called me that evening with an offer from his office.

[imtellingthepope]

Happy to report that I’ve enjoyed success with this viral product.

Make no mistake that the price is absolutely ridiculous, even after the 25% promo code—it still set me back almost $70CDN is just insane for a one-month supply. However, I was probably already spending that much on Metamucil and regular store-bought probiotics and enzymes, which simply weren’t doing the job for me.

I've long suspected that my gut issues are of another calibre. A $70/month, influencer-peddled calibre.

I’ve been on Seed for two weeks and it has kept me regular on a daily basis, even when I recently skipped intake for a few days. Most importantly, the quality of the 💩 is just the most satisfying thing ever. Just make sure you take enough fibre and water with it.

If the regular store-bought stuff works fine for you, stick with that--you're probably a normie! Based on the reviews I've read, this formula is for intended for people with next level gut issues, hence why I think some people report some drastic side effects, to the point of being incapacitated.

For instance, my mom is a normie--Metamucil and papaya enzymes do the job of going at least once a day. Then she tried one capsule of Seed per day for a few days, and it interrupted her sleep due to painful cramping and she was too scared to venture outside of the house because it loosen her stools that much. She stopped taking it shortly thereafter.

For myself, it took a good five days to notice improvements in my regularity and stools, but after that it's been smooooth sailing since. Initially side effects were minor bloating/cramping, and flatulence, but otherwise no disruption to my daily life.

At this rate I'm thinking I can even go down to one capsule a day to stretch my subscription where I can.

I’ve already scheduled a 3-month refill supply to save money where I can. Tip: if you try to cancel your subscription, at least for the first time around, they’ll 30% off on your next order if you keep with the subscription.

[imtellingthepope]

I really need to write a post about my food quirks.

For instance, I hate soupy noodles.

That is why you will rarely see me eating pho, despite growing up in a Chinese Vietnamese household. Same goes for spaghetti, the third most consumed dish we had at home after rice and steak dinners.

It's like Satan's cum splashing over your face when he's jerking himself off next to you while you're trying to read.

[imtellingthepope]

Spot the boop

[skinny-dipping-sasquatch]

[imtellingthepope]

T-minus 24 hours

It's ridiculous the amount of objectively unnecessary stress and anxiety I put myself through for each and every interview. I am the most experienced I've ever been; I've the years and examples to back it up.

Most of the job offers I've received where ones where I didn't give my smoothest, or most articulate performance, but I was visibly eager, if not fawning.

Unfortunately for me and all future government interviews, I am completely done fawning.

Here is my experience

Here is what I can achieve for you in a 36.25-hour work week

Do you want me

Yes or no