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[cupofcarolina]

Hello!! I absolutely adore Ellie and her style, would u consider making a little lookbook of her? ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)

here's ellie's little spring-summer lookbook! ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡

hair / bangs / shirt / shorts / tights / socks / shoes / necklace / backpack

hair / bangs / shirt / pants / shoes / necklace / bag

hair / bangs / shirt / skirt / tights / socks / shoes / bag

hair / bangs / shirt / cardigan / shorts / socks / shoes / necklace / bandage

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

How To Write Diverse Characters! (And Avoid Tokenism)

Yeah, you know you can't just make all your characters white men anymore (well, you probably can but you shouldn't.) But how do you add diversity into a story without it being the dreaded Tokenism? Well...

A. What Is Tokenism?

Tokenism in a story is basically when the author looks at their white canvas, wants to put a dot of color in there, literally puts one single dot of black, and calls it a win.

Aside from that metaphor, expect:

Characters we are meant to either dislike or just plain not care about are the minorities.

Plot Irrelevant. The author made the barista Ida Davis and gave her braids! Wow, all the protagonists, secondary characters, and antagonists are still white.

Decorative. The protagonist might be black, or Hispanic, or whatever. It doesn't really change the story. They'll probably be whitewashed. It's added to make the story more profitable since "Wow, representation!" without having to actually make a minority. They're so decorative, often fandoms can even forget what minority they're actually a part of.

So, yeah, most people really don't like when it feels like their representation was kinda just thrown into the ocean and that they're meant to clap because the author was so "brave" and they even added one black classmate in their slice-of-life.

So what can we do?

B. What to Do: Some Quick Steps

Make at least two of your main/secondary characters a minority and add a lot more diversity in minor roles.

Why? It removes the token "special minority" aspect from them and lessens the load of having to have one "good" character be the torch holder - now they're not just "the diabetic character' or 'the black character'. Bonus Points: make sure multiples of each minority exist so that way if you write a feminine gay male character or a submissive Asian character, having the opposite of that character forces a dynamism to that race/disability/gender/sexuality portrayal. (BE WARY!)

Actually, keep in mind that character's race/disability/sexuality, whatever! when you are writing that character.

Don't write a scene where your woman character is like "I've never even seen blood before!" or your black character "quickly washes their hair, brushes it out, and ties it up in a quick bun before running after the bus".

There are a surprising number of people who forget that having a black character is not like a cosmetic thing but also impacts EVERYTHING. You can't just take your white, blonde girl named Cindy that goes to a private school and paint her brown. I've literally seen people write out "I brushed my platinum blonde hair out of my face as I look up and see James" or say that their parents are pale and not realize that their protag. is literally black.

This is especially true with disabled characters. Please, for the love of God, don't write your diabetic characters saying that they need their insulin shot after saying they're hypoglycemic. No, that's stupid. Or that they need their insulin "urgently" after eating a candy bar. No, people can sit with high blood sugars for a while, otherwise my mom would die after eating her 90% daily allotment of added sugars in her tea every day.

Make the place accessible, or choose a different disability

Imagine throwing a character that uses a wheelchair due to Mysterious Paralysis into Hogwarts.

If you want to write a character into an either already existing world or just from your own world, you need to think about if they can even get in it at all. It's not that hard just look up "accessibility devices in hospitals/houses/schools/work" and whatever in order to just write "the metallic bars in the hallway shimmer underneath glow of what feels like a hundred lights"

If it's just impossible to do so, just choose a different disability. There are some cases where trying to fit a disability and chopping it up in order to fit the rectangle into the circle is more harmful than finding a circular shape.

Non-Disability Related: Obviously there are a lot of professions (like OBGYNs) and environments (such as prison or some private schools) that are going to be focused on, like, all-one gender or mostly one gender establishments. In that case, try to incorporate diversity in secondary roles, like the protagonist's wife is planning to break her husband out of prison because she hates being a single mom or the OBGYN is welcoming in a new male nurse.

Ask someone.

Just ask someone, someone of that minority, and then ask someone else (maybe even ask a third person). If one person has a problem with it and the other person(s) don't, think about it. If all of them say that it's a problem, change it up.

(WARNING: You're an individual writing your own individual story. It is physically impossible for me to write the one stop shop for all stories in this one post. Get a bunch of advice from other people too and don't get offended that my advice didn't include your super specific issue in it.}

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

Disabled Things I Want to See More Of

Stacking Minorities:

I feel like a lot of writers are just, like, "ooh, a black and disabled person, that's too much".

Like, if a disabled person gets added, they're always white, straight, agnostic or Christian, cisgender, 1-2 disabilities, and upper-class.

Where are my immigrant ladies that ride electronic wheelchairs? Where are my diabetic, plus-sized gay men?

Go for it!

Poking Fun At Disabled Tropes Without Lampshading:

Lampshading is this super fun tool that writers and directors use when they know that some parts of their production are offensive or outdated, like asexual Asian men, black besties, and harassment, but instead of changing anything, they just make a joke about it.

Basically, I want disabled characters to feel free enough to either poke fun at themselves or poke fun at stereotypes and assumptions people give them while also not just playing those bad tropes straight.

Like, how funny would it be if the Disabled Amputee Veteran walked in, his lack of legs that totally symbolize the price of war while turning his body into an object of pity, and he says that he just lost his legs in a ziplining accident?

That scar? Got it from trying to eat the tuna out of a can straight-up?

The blind oracle of the future that keeps accidentally scamming people because everyone acts them to predict the future and this oracle is like "Dude, I literally can't see. I can smell the future. I can hear the future. I don't know why you keep thinking I can magically see in my mind's eye"

Superheroes With Random Disabilities and Coming Of Age

I feel like a lot of superheroes that are made disabled tend to be, like, mentors or people that have spent years in the field when, personally, I really like superheroes just learning how to be heroes with their new powers and they absolutely ruin stuff.

Peter Parker swinging into build boards? Iconic stuff. Ladybug also swinging into build boards? Totally equally iconic. Atsushi struggling with the tiger? Amazing.

However, I don't want Blind Seers or Blind characters that are just like "oh, but I can see". I don't like amputees being given SUPER PROSTETICS that basically function like 'limb but better'. I don't really care for flying wheelchair that's literally just a hoverboard but better.

I don't like hypercompetent disabled characters, not because disabled character can't be competent, but I feel like it's just a way for the author to avoid having to write a character that can't do everything an able-bodied person can do.

Disabled literally means can't do something. What can't this person not do because they have this specific condition and what do real people in the world do who have this condition?

That's not to say that characters can't use their superpowers as a super aide, but I'd just prefer some more creativity.

Like, a blind superhero that has the ability to talk and work with animals has a posse of reptiles, dogs, cats, and what have you to form a superpowered help system for their crime fighting. Or someone with autism who uses their superpower of shapeshifting to study their special interest in deer up close and personal a la Hoppers.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

How To Describe Skin Tone!

Thank you to WritingWithColor and @lemin-the-gremlin for the idea!

Cool Toned (like a blue/silver/rosy undertone):

Ivory

Snow

Porcelain

Powdery

Sandstone

Clay

Ash (may be associated more negatively unless with other positive descriptors such as alluring)

Pale (more negative/neutral), can be associated with the pallor of sickness but is more often neutral

Deep [skin]

Taupe, gray with a tinge of brown

Rich earth

Modifiers: (rich, deep, dark for dark-skinned peeps) and cool for any skin. Also just saying 'blue-ish, deep brown' could work, same with rosy, powdery skin.

Examples: Her skin was a deep, earthen tone that blended her in with the surrounding forest, her coils pulled back to reveal pointed ears as she stared with an alluring mixture of mystery and the same curiosity I have for her.

Examples: She threw her head to the side to escape my eye sight, her ivory skin turning to a faint, rosy hue, only turning back to me when the cool had returned to her cheeks.

Warm Toned (like golden, peachy, bronze):

Sunlight

Sand

Fawn

Tan (most people will assume this is a suntan, not a natural tan)

Bronze

Golden

Ochre

Terracotta

Amber

Modifiers: Copper, Bronze, Warm. again, 'warm brown', 'golden, light skin', and 'rich copper' also work

Examples: The two friends laid against each other even in the heat of summer, her sun-kissed skin and his bronze skin were dotted with freckles from their trip to the coast, exhausted from the humidity and their day at the beach.

Examples: His skin had the same color and texture of sand, he joked, so he should just lay next to the wet border of sea and coast and wait to see if his parents would notice him!

Honestly, the key to describing skin is honestly just describe everyone's skin, all your white characters, brown characters, and dark brown lovelies should be described and make sure those descriptions are mostly neutral to positive unless you're either writing a villain or that character is experiencing something that's negatively impacting their skin.

"The warm foundation made her look like an orange"

"Her brown skin turned ashen as she hacked up what little air remained in her longs from all the coughing before."

"Her fair skin turned a sickly pale as she hasn't had time to go outside in weeks with her new job in the E.R"

[also, I hope I don't have to say this but make sure all your main characters aren't white or 'racially ambiguous' or 'honorary white because their race was mentioned once at the beginning and never came up again' VS evil, putrid, mud/chocolate brown villain, okay?]

[lemin-the-gremlin]

Okay. So good terms to use when writing skin tones are:

Amber

Beige

Bronze

Chestnut

Deep

Ebony

Fawn

Golden

Hazelnut

Honey

Ivory

Mahogany

Olive

Onyx

Porcelain

Rose/rosey

Russet

Tan

Tawny

Topaz

Walnut

please note that anytime foods are mentioned it is meant to refer to the tree, not food.

LET ME KNOW IF ANY OF THESE ARE INCORRECT OR SHOULD NOT BE USED

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

The One Flaw Your Characters Have That No One Will Tell You (CLICKBAIT!)

Visible Coat Hangers!

Yeah, here comes an analogy, baby. Think of a story like a closet. You have the clothes - those are the characters that everyone shows up to the closet for, the actual bar is your plot (the literal sequence of events and character arcs) that the entire rest of the story relies on for stability and a place to give your characters some foundation, and the coat hangers.

The coat hangers are your technical details - symbolism, forshadowing, etc. For the purposes of this convo, coat hangers are also tropes, stereotypes, and expectations for characters.

You see, in a story, you never want the audience to notice the coat hangers, have them notice that characters are plot devices, because no one can feel emotions for a coat hanger. You want it to appear as if your characters are fully moving beings, like humans, so that your readers sympathize and hate them like humans.

This often happens when:

You are taking a trope and applying it one-to-one with a character without even attempting to add some flavor

A cliche plot line happens, such a cliche that the average reader can not only pick up on it but actively guess what will happen.

You re-hash old, nostalgic, or popular media

There is no emotion behind the characters

How can you make sure that your audience isn't jarred by the technical backstage of our little actors?

Stereotypical characters are easily solved by giving them a character role, a trait that doesn't exactly fit the novel's role, a fatal flaw that is an inverse of their positive qualities, and then give those qualities consequences that bounce off other characters.

For example:

Role: Love Interest

Trait: Independent

Fatal Flaw: Indecisiveness

Consequences: They rely on others to validate their choices but then pull back out of fear of over-reliance.

A cliche plot line? Honestly, it's fine to take inspiration from popular media - everyone does it. The best way to combat this is to take an opposing, thematically and genre, inspiration and combine their influence with your own plot to control the influence of the O.G genre.

For example, say you want to write a story about superheroes. Yeah, that genre is super saturated, so you'll want to turn to an opposing genre such as slice of life, maybe Ghibli. Instead of another high-stakes, fantastical, action-heavy inspiration, you could look at low-stakes, realistic, emotional stories to understand who they craft compelling narratives. Or you could go for a more tertiary genre - Adventure, Spy Thrillers, And High-Fantasy!

Instead of an Avengers group of heroes that fight in the urban city against sci-fi miscreants, maybe your superhero is trying to reclaim one of their group's cultural artifacts from the villains. Or your superhero could be a spy from the government, engaging in less punching and more suspense and mystery investigation as they spy on the opposing side.

So, I better not see any coat hangers from your stories!

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

What Do People Mean When They Ask For Representation?

A lot of writers when they hear representation might default to certain diversity quota checkmarks.

Representation, to many people, means:

More characters!

Highly competent, useful characters

Girl on the poster

Perfect

But that's not what people want.

When people ask for representation, it doesn't matter that all of your background characters are black if all the characters we are meant to care about are white. It doesn't matter how useful your gay characters are when they are desexualized, stripped of any 'uncomfortable, crass, rude, "inappropriate"' traits. It doesn't matter that a girl is on the poster when all your girls exist to motivate the actual male protagonist audiences, women and men, are meant to identify and care about.

This thought process creates archetypes like the Disposable Black Love Interest, The Inspiration 'Sexual Fun Time Video' Disabled Character, The Girlboss Trinity Syndrome Spicy Girl That Gets Broken Down Traditional and Submissive (seriously, so many 'abduction as romance' movies romanticize the act of forcibly taking a woman's agency), and Model Minorities.

When people ask for representation, they don't want "perfect, infallible minority character". They ask, "give me a character who looks like me and is valued not for their many accomplishments, not how they serve the majority characters we are meant to care about, but for their inherent humanity" Give me a character who isn't disposable, who isn't perfect but still sympathetic, who audiences are encouraged to root for by the narrative and the framing!

Ask yourself, are minorities who read/watch/listen to your stories meant to identify with the characters that look like them? Are minorities treated not as a monolith but as individuals? Are all your minority characters props, used merely as set dressing, obstacles in romance, temptations, and such for a mostly majority story?

I've definitely fallen into this box before, written a white protag. but have had the antagonist be a minority character without balancing it out. I've written indigenous Americans in a Magical Realism world without properly understanding the implications and that resulted into falling into heaps of more tropes: mentoring a kid in magic, being abused by their family, having mental illness, making money off of this, and such. Looking back, it's shocking how horrible it is.

But we live and we learn so give an honest look at your characters, not just at the stereotypes they may fall into but whether or not the narrative is sympathetic to them, does the narrative value your minority characters? If one of your minority characters died, or has died, would the narrative weep over their death? If one of your minority characters fell in love with the protagonist, would the narrative shame them, inherently dismiss them as a potential love interest?

Be honest, because learning about all my biases, discriminatory preferences, and inherent beliefs has honestly made me a better writer, a better person, and just been really fun.

(You can't tell me representation doesn't matter when on Stupendium's song about soft drinks, and nothing else, there are heaps of comments about asexual people celebrating even just being mentioned. It makes people happy. Isn't that great? You could do that for someone, or not)

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

How To Write Intersectionality

As we grow as a society, more aware of the privileges and disenfranchised identity factors, it can seem as if hierarchy is a simple pyramid, but this is a gross oversimplification.

In reality, different minority statuses often stack on top of each other, creating unique presentations for how someone interprets and is subjected to discrimination.

So how can you write a black female character? Or a disabled gay man? Well, I can show you!

Recognize Mitigating and Aggravating Circumstances

If society treats differences like a crime, we can evaluate them like crimes too!

For example, disenfranchised groups include people with disabilities, those of minority races in the wider community, indigenous heritage, economically disadvantaged, people learning the language of the wider group, religious minorities, immigrants, and the elderly (just some)

These can be considered 'aggravating factors'. They increase the severity of the perceived crime.

Black women are more likely than black men or white women to receive harassment and they are subjected to a different type of discrimination because they receive both sexism and racism - often intertwined. An example of this is the stereotype of the 'Strong Black Woman'. Women are often parentified, made to be seen as more mature than their male counterparts, even as children. This has led to pernicious dynamics such as the breadwinning, super wife and mother and the bumbling oaf of a husband who is basically a burden. This dynamic is normalized because women are always meant to be mature and orderly while men are allowed more leeway in terms of immaturity and letting other people do the work.

Black people are also stereotyped as strong, more resilient, due to the equally pernicious idea that what doesn't kill you, i.e racism and discrimination, makes one stronger. This is not true at all. Racism breaks down people, makes them depressed, anxious, and often needing outside help. By giving black people, the 'positive' stereotype of being independent and strong, it creates a stigma around receiving mental treatment.

With black women, these two stereotypes coincide to create the 'Strong Black Woman' archetype, a woman who can do everything, handle it all on her own no matter what obstacles she gets, doesn't need any support system whatsoever, and implicitly shames other women who need other people.

However, there are also mitigating circumstances, factors that decrease the severity of the perceived crime of existing as a minority. This is often in the form of coinciding privilege.

For example!

A black woman may be more likely, inherently to receive discrimination compared to white women and black men but a black woman who is in the upper middle class is more likely to be treated with less open hostility than a lower class, impoverished black woman.

This is because there is a privilege in having more money. It makes one more independent, more able to combat discrimination vocally because they have more options than a lower-class person.

In a real-life example, say that these two black women are working in an office. Their voices are constantly undermined, dismissed as being 'too angry', 'too emotional about the topic', or even 'disrupting the workplace' because of their inherent 'lack of innocence' as jezebels. The richer black woman has more of an option to leave the job, make more vocally forward demands, because even if she is fired, she has more of a support system of upper-class friends to help her, more opportunities to find a job, and a chance that her boss may try to appeal to her wealthy connections.

An impoverished black woman doesn't have this privilege. After all, this may be her one chance at having a job. If she leaves, she can't exactly rely on her also impoverished friends. So, this woman may be forced to stick her head in the sand, be 'respectable' to keep the job.

Other mitigating factors include:

Being conventionally attractive

Being white

Having a disability that doesn't impact ones' responsiveness, appearance, intelligence, or ability to have a job.

Conventional gender presentation

Having a support system

Higher education

Being a man

Being a 'natural-born' citizen

Being heterosexual

Having the majority religion

Presenting your identity - either intentionally or just by pure personality - in a more socially acceptable way. Such as having relaxed hair as a black person, having a more well-known and understood condition such as depression vs D.I.D, or not wearing religious garb

This creates a complex interweb of privileges and disadvantages. For example, I am a white woman - inherently both privileged and discriminated against, but I am also queer, fat, in poverty, and rural-born. I have the privilege of blending into general society, but I don't have that many opportunities to live a more open, secure, expressive life.

Being A Traitor - Dividing Lines

Racial-Gender dynamics are the most common dividing line - especially for black people.

For example, imagine a situation where you are a complete outsider party, and at your college, a white woman accuses her black boyfriend of abusing her.

There will likely be two very opposing sides to this argument. There will be white feminists who defend the white woman with the knowledge that women are subjected to domestic abuse, often silently and without societal support.

There will also be black men who defend the boyfriend and claim that the accusations are false with the knowledge that white women have been accusing black men with false records of abuse for decades as a way of ruining the man's reputation and getting society against him.

If you are a black woman and you side with the feminists in this debate, you will most likely be called a 'race-traitor'. If you side with the black men in this debate, you will be 'rejecting sisterhood'.

This is to illustrate the fact that mainstream parties often represent non-intersectional spaces for people which forces people who share multiple marginalized identities to 'pick a side'.

The disabled community is often represented by heterosexual, white men. The black community is often represented and spoken by black men. The feminist community is often spoken by white women. The queer community is often represented by white, gay men.

(A show that recommend for seeing how abuse intersects with homophobia, racism, sexism, and economic class is 'I May Destroy You' which features a majority black cast as they deal with personal and societal issue surrounding trauma)

This means that people who do straddle the line may feel pressure from both sides, or more sides, to align themselves with one part of their complex identity.

A mixed-race, black-white, individual may feel like they have to 'act black' to belong. 'Too black' for white people and 'too white' for black people.

A disabled lady may feel stripped of their sexual identity, reduced to a body of suffering instead of a lady that can feel and make pleasure.

A fat, gay man may feel pressure to be conventionally attractive in a heterosexual world as the only people that get represented are muscular, tall, and made to appeal to women.

A second-generation immigrant may feel pressure from their assimilated and heritage culture to either be 100% assimilated or 100% attached to their home country.

There are so many ways that people can interact with their identity. No one experiences, like, sexism on Wednesdays, homophobia on weekends, racism on Tuesdays, and ageism on Friday. People experience them at the same time, all at once.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

Signs Your Blind Character May Be Ableist!

This is apparently my thing so let's get to it!

(ALSO, THIS IS FOCUSED ON ADVICE THAT ONE MAY NOT HEAR OF - THIS ISN"T FOCUSED ON THE BLIND STEREOTYPES OF THE SEER OR ANY OTHERS)

You haven't figured out what they can and can't see. Sure, you may already know that most people with blindness/visual impairment have some remaining vision, but what does your character actually see. For example, my cat, Atropos, had an infection at birth that resulted in a cloudy eye and no eye on the other side. She can only see in light and dark so she can locate the window easily while still knocking into things on the table. Can your character see light, see things close but not far, see peripheral but not forward, or whatever? Just decide it.

They don't live proactively. Blind people, if they have a problem, will try to find a solution to the best of their ability - even if they don't have the references for O&M. If your character is constantly stumbling around, asking for assistance over and over again, just constantly relying on other people, often times sighted people for help, you've just written a non-human. Because humans are adaptable! Close your eyes and then try to navigate your house. See what types of strategies you naturally come up with and then research.

They never get assistance. Look, Daredevil already exists, don't try to do it again. I may not be blind, but I am pretty impaired without my glasses, and I cannot read anything more than a couple feet in front of me. If I would want to read it, I would ask someone for help! Give your blind characters friends who, if asked and not just volunteering unnecessarily, describe and help orient the blind character - again, if asked.

Super-duper-tastic Aides! That make your character not blind. Your sight dog is a superhero in its own right that can do everything, knows every single command in the world, knows everything, and basically serves to make your blind character not blind. Your blind character shouldn't have a superpower that makes them not blind, or just "I can see the future perfectly and I don't struggle at all with being blind".

Tragedy after Tragedy for Blind kids. Sandy Sue, non-blind girl, is a happy-go-lucky child of a loving mom and dad! Randy Due, blind boy, has been bullied since the age of conception, abused by his parents for being blind, and has had every tragedy known to man. Don't make your blind character suffer needlessly. It's a stereotype. And tragedy to the point of spectacle doesn't stoke pity at a certain point as they become more bodies and symbols of some vague concept than actual human beings.

6. "Can I feel your face?" Not a single blind person has ever said this in a non-joking way. It's a cringy thing that non-disabled seers made up for their weird little romance movies about sad, blind women who probably died in the end.

7. You haven't watched a single blind youtuber, haven't read a single book by a blind person, haven't engaged with a real-life blind person, and so on and so forth. Honestly, the best way to prevent your work from being ableist is to just explore. Watch Molly Burke. Read Paradise Lost - maybe. And just try to interact with members of the community. There are so many people on the internet. You can find somebody.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

YIKES? Is My Male Character Sexist?

I promised it, and then I got lazy, but now I'm doing it! Because sexism against women is often reflected against men. By holding women to a different standard and make them inhuman, we turn their contemporary counterparts into inhuman themselves. You'd think patriarchy would be good for men . . . but it isn't!

One type of masculinity is above all others. If a male character cries, it must be because they are about to die, but they can't be hysterical about it. If a male character shows vulnerability, boo! A gay male character can't be stereotypically masculine because they are romanticized as objects of toyful friends. Basically, if a woman wouldn't be attracted to it, it's evil.

2. Men don't need friends. You have one lone man who never interacts with other men on any level other than subordinate-boss or coworkers. No vulnerability, no jokes. If a male character starts off with a wife, children, family, they are killed immediately. And this is tragic, yes, but it's always shown as necessary for unleashing the masculine power in all men. If they find love, they are killed off. Because the masculine ideal of this man couldn't survive if they had friends. Because having friends humanizes and ideals aren't human.

3. Men are either losers of handsomeness, becoming almost cartoonishly pathetic and needy (like stereotypical women) or they are wall-like structures of manhood that are 6ft tall, get the girl, get all their goals and then some, and are hypercompetitive. Especially, they get the girl. If they fail in this competition, all of their positive aspects decay into pathetic loserdom.

4. Men can't be victims. If they are a victim, well, they secretly wanted to be with the kinky villain girl that is trying to get with them despite having a girlfriend, or they are so pathetic that they couldn't use their 'masculine strength' to just not be a victim.

5. Men always want women. If a man doesn't want the pretty girl in a story, it's almost always a set-up for the man realizing the error of his ways and getting corrected like a dog, either that or he becomes gay and gets turned into a purse for the fem character. It can't just be that not all men are attracted to all women no matter what she does or he does. Even married men are expected to ogle at every single fine piece a' meat. (In Midsommar, that was non-consensual sex against a man. He was drugged)

6. The slippery slope of femininity. No, a man can't just cook and clean, a normal man can't just care about his appearance, a man can't just be a good father - he needs to be exaggeratedly flamboyant and feminine. Men are either paragons of masculinity, gay, or failures.

7. Dads. Just dads. Look, it was unique when the Simpsons wrote a dysfunctional family but at this point, just write a good dad. He doesn't need to be perfect, 'daddy knows best' type. Just make him an imperfect guy who tries.

8. Men are animals.

9. Every moment is a chance to show off the man's man-ness. They somehow flex when they open a door. Their muscles bulge. They get aroused at the completely wrong moments (like their mom crying against them levels of wrong), men call each other bros all. the. time. A scene can't go by

10. Women's literature: Writing women as men. Good men can read the protagonist's mind and see exactly what she wants. Good men let the female protagonist shine. Good men take charge of their women partners aggressively but not too aggressively. Good men know better than their women. Good men always want sex but are cool and kind and aggressive and cruel and sweet and great gifters and rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams and super tall and super muscular and! and!. . . just a fantasy.

Men are incredibly diverse, as diverse as any other type of person. Typically, men and women's sexism are not but mirrors that reflect and refract against each other. The more a man acts like a woman, the less society, and the stories they are in, care about them. This is how words like 'simp' and 'whipped' have been taken by the manosphere to just become 'man nice to woman and who doesn't abuse her when she disagrees with him'. Men are more violent than women because women are meant to be pure, innocent, and good so if they are pure, someone else has to be unpure and evil . . . aka men. If women have to be weak all the time, someone has to save them . . . aka men.

Even if we see that things have changed slightly, we still carry these implicit biases in how we raise children. Daughters are treated as more fragile and vulnerable than sons. Sons who show girly interests are hated while girls that try to be more like men are encouraged, because who wants to be a woman??

Ultimately, this may seem like 'political correctness' and 'putting the stick in the mud' but we all have biases and examining those biases so we can write more fulfilling characters and just have more fulfilling relationships.

TL; DR: Write everyone as a human being today! Just, recognize that you probably don't see everyone as a human being, even when you think you do.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

YIKES! Is My Character Sexist? - Boys And Girls Welcome!

When you are writing a character of the opposite sex for the first time, or even the 20th time, we often write them how we would want them to act - as parental figures sometimes but most often what we would want to date. But that isn't good character building so here's some subtle signs that you classify your characters based on whether you want to f-ck them or not! (I will get to sexism against men in my next post!)

Is Your Woman Character Sexist?

You haven't added any woman experiences. As a fellow woman, I think there are some universal experiences that women tend to have: period horror stories, avoiding creepy people and having to remain extra vigilant, learning that your first-time sucked because it was just penetration, doctors not taking you seriously, the micro-transgressions that tend to happen as people at work (especially coworkers) treat you like a servant instead of an equal, emotional labor, the strange moment when you realize that getting hit on as a 12 year old was definitely not flattering or even just awkward but actually insane . . . You get the point. Basically, if your badass female character living in the apocalypse isn't worried about trying to find some sort of rag for a bad, if your female character is out at dark and isn't thinking what she would do if a creepy man came up to her, if your female character loves sex with her boyfriend that just kind of puts it in and goes . . . Yeah, pretty not great.

2. Your good women characters are either sexy, amusing, or motherly (don't have to be literally mothers). This may seem shocking but just look through Harry Potter and just try to find a female character that doesn't become a mother and lives by the end of the book.

3. Your characters are all defined by sexuality or romance - for better or worse. It seems that all your female characters need to have near-constant romantic trials and tribulations. Your female villain can't just be a sadistic villain - they need to be either in love with the hero, in love with the actual villain, or a sexual deviant.

4. Emotions, and other feminine characteristics, are demonized. If a character cries, they are automatically put down and shamed. Being 'stoic' is a good characteristic. Being hysterical when your life is at stake and you are a normal person? Cowardly and you need to toughen up . . . like a man. Your women characters are men with boobs that you want to date.

5. Your women characters aren't given the same sympathy as your male characters. Sure, your male character mass murdered an entire race of goblins and hit his wife . . . but he was really sad about it and really morally conflicted. But a female character that *gasp!* Is slightly annoying and rude and maybe a bit gossipy? Satan incarnate!

6. They are anti-woman. Your female characters are constantly backstabbing each other, not just because these are morally gray women who are trying to go after their goals. No, it's specifically because they are women - because women can't have friends? Apparently not. Women never interact in your books unless it's tense, often about rivalry for a boyfriend or attention, or five seconds of a conversation.

7. Your women characters don't have an external life. Your male characters have deep, rich backstories, complex relationships, and interactions that breed life into the world. Your women characters barely have a backstory. Even the love interest's family life, her friendships, her wider social circle, her relationship to society itself . . . is all left rather absent. We may hear sparse details about their hobbies, but we have never shown them. We may see tiny glimpses of a potential inner life, but they all exist to mean something for the male character and get brushed aside.

8. Motherhood is the end-all, be-all, and romance is a tool of force. Your skittish, men-hating, bookworm character that solely existed to be exposition and was seen as a nag? They get toned down, quieted, and shoved into romantic storylines that seem more like the whip than any actual affection. By the end of the story, your women characters are beaten and shamed into quiet romances, not anything except a mother or housewife.

9. Things always happen to your female characters. They don't decide to go after a guy. A guy goes after them. They don't lean in for a kiss, the man does. They don't go after their goals; their goals find them. They are subjected to disease, death, violence (often sexually coded), but aren't allowed to search for cures or copes or even vengeance.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

YIKES! Is My Character Racist?

Don't worry, this is an inevitable juncture that one will fall into the first time they write a character that is different from them. The first characters we write are as children, typically blind to either prejudice or, at least, the different ways prejudice and privilege change and intersect. But you're older now. You can't just fly by the seat of your pants on this one.

So, here are some indications that you may have done your character a disservice. But don't fret, you have time to change them, and this doesn't make you a morally bad person, it makes you a self-aware person that has room for growth!

Signs Your Black Character Is Racist, Not Obvious Ones:

You haven't thought about their hair yet! Black people have a deep, often spiritual, attachment to their natural coils and locs and a growing majority have decided that instead of beating their hair to be straight, they will rock their 3-4c hair. But for the straight/wavy hair peeps, styled, natural hair is hard to maintain, and it involves an entirely different routine than straight hair. If your black character is a main character, love interest, or protagonist, then you can't neglect how they wear their hair and how they take care of their hair.

You haven't figured out what type of 'black' they are. There isn't just black. There are African Americans, descendants of the original slaves, Black Americans, black people that moved to the US later on without association to slavery, Afro-Caribbeans, descendants of the originals who hit the Caribbeans first, and just straight up African people who never left.

You haven't figured out all the specifics of their country situation. Not only should you know their country but, if they are a character we spend a significant time with, you should probably know what specific location they grew up in. For example, I'm not just an American, I was born in New York, and being born in New York impacts my personality, beliefs, and filter of the world. If your character was born in, for example, Takayama instead of Tokyo, they will have a different filter. Or if your character grew up in Paraguay but you keep referencing Uruguay customs. NO NO!

They're Just A Bit 'Too' Unique and no one acknowledges it. Like, there is nothing wrong with writing a black person who is not politically minded, isn't Christian, only listens to mainstream songs (mostly by white people), wasn't raised Christian, is upper middle class and not worried about their finances, are completely neutral to their blackness (not ashamed or proud), never faced any significant racism, but, like, at a certain f'ing point . . . it kind of seems like you just reskinned a white person for diversity points. Look, I know, writing a black person when you are a different race, white or not, is scary, but blackness is not just a skin color. It's a filter that people see the world through. Sure, it's not the entire photo but filters are important.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

How To Write a Character from A Different Culture! (set in your culture)

You read the title. Immigrants, migrants, refugees, and some good old fashion "every part of the country has an entirely different culture than the state next door" ism!

A) Don't Skip the Hard Stuff by Being Insecure!

Here's a warning: The first time you write anything about anyone that you haven't written before, it's going to be rough. Maybe you accidentally wrote a stereotype into the character. Maybe you realize that, hey, all your foreign characters are in minor roles so what does that say about you? Maybe you learn that you really struggle writing characters that have such radically different value systems.

But don't skip adding these differences and don't skip adding that cultural flavor. I know, you are scared of getting insulted but not showing how a character's culture impacts them besides giving them a name of Sakura instead of Stacy or having them reference Tokyo isn't how diversity works. If you are writing a character from a different country, or even state sometimes, then they should have all those cultural-isms, values, beliefs, and such. Even if they reject those beliefs, they'll likely have such deeply imbedded ideals from that society, they will subconsciously spring out.

So, let's get a move on!

B) Immediately look up ' [Insert state, country, whatever culture you are working on] current events'

Obviously, if you are writing historical, insert the time period instead of current events.

When we write a character from a different country, even if the story is set in your country, they will have different concerns then you do about politics and economy and social systems. It doesn't have to be as extreme as "hey, my country's government system violates my human rights", but it can just be "hey, my country's president is kind of a dick, and I think he's not going to do anything".

Think about how many times what's currently happening, whether that be what the president's doing, what the economy's doing, what fashion trends are trending, what traditions are changing, impact conversations.

As an American, I can't go a day without hearing what Trump is doing. But somebody living in, like, Nigeria probably doesn't give a flying f' who Trump is. It's just not something that impacts them. Same thing with you relating to other countries.

For example, when I was writing my character, Maryam, I learned that apparently Tajikistan has a lot of human rights violations and that's a big concern for people.

So, check your blind spots and try to figure out what your cultural characters are going to care about.

C) Look up " [your country] vs [your character's country], belief systems/economy/jobs/laws/whatever]

Again, check your blind spot. We tend to assume that what our country does is the natural way countries behave. Our belief system is the default. So, comparing your country to another country more openly is going to help quickly illustrate 'oh, I guess I have to study individualistic societies and how that impacts social relations' or 'oh, I guess that country has a lot of poverty and I'm going to see if I want to explore it or not'.

Even if I don't use the info that Tajikistan is a really mountainous place openly in my story, I use that as inspo for filler detail like "okay, most Tajik people don't have access to clean water and a lot of rural infrastructure not in Dushanbe is really spread out". Or I could just use it as, like, "Oh, dad used to love hiking" slice-of-life pocket litter detail.

Good references include: WorldData.Info which literally has a feature to compare countries on currency, average income, infrastructure, average life expectancy, and so much more! Government websites, unless your country is, like, really against info-spreading. Charity sites. And so much more! It really depends on where you live . . .

C) Examine From Hofstede's Six Cultural Dimensions Theory

Is it perfect? No, obviously culture can't just be simplified so easily but it can provide a good framework for understanding cultural diversity.

Power-Distance: how comfortable are less powerful people with unequal distribution of power?

In high power-distance societies, hierarchy is not questioned. In a real-world example, in high power-distance cultures, it is impolite and even job-ruining if one questions what/why the manager's decision is, even if one disagrees. In a lower power-distance society, there is flatter organizational structures, and it's encouraged to have open-discussions.

2. Individualism vs Collectivism: Individual goals vs group harmony

In countries where individualism reigns, personal achievement is encouraged, stories where people break away from oppressive regimes reign supreme, and self-reliance is valued. Collectivism prioritizes the reputation of the family over the desires of the singular. A show of this is how, in the United States, living with your parents into adulthood is considered unattractive and a failure while in other countries, staying with your parents until you get married is the norm. Similarly, in individualist countries, marrying someone is an act of love while in collectivism, marriage is a way of expanding the family with sons-in-law becoming a genuine family member.

3. Feminine vs Masculine - what the country values

Feminine countries place value on cooperation, care, and quality of life. They tend to have higher rates of social equality. These countries also just tend to rank high in desirability, as they are the Scandinavian countries of Finland, Sweden, Norway, and Denmark which are the most feminine countries. Masculine countries place emphasis on competitiveness, achievement, and material success.

For example, in masculine countries, there is a shame around needing to rely on other people which can extend into having limited parental leave, not using social welfare even when needed out of embarrassment, and viewing inequality as competition and needing other people is failing the competition. In feminine countries, egalitarianism tends to win out.

4. Uncertainty Avoidance - How comfortable is a country with change?

In high U.A countries, rules are highly structured, stability is prized, and traditions can be so pervasive that they are legally regulated.

In low U.A countries, trial-and-error is part of the process with businesses, rules are more guidelines, and out of the box thinking is more encouraged.

5. Term Orientation: Long-Term vs Short-Term

Long-term 'consider future generations, invest in public transportation, prioritize education, and thrifting!' vs Short-Term 'social obligations need to be fulfilled, enjoy the present, celebrate quick wins, and prioritize fast results'

6. Indulgence vs Restraint - How freely can people gratify their desires?

In restrained countries, indulgence is seen as selfish and inappropriate, and there is a value on self-control, duty, and following social norms. if someone takes time off of work, it's seen as selfish and lazy but in indulgence countries, it's a mental health day and perfectly reasonable to do.

In restrained countries, celebrations are tied to tradition and not just, like, Taco Tuesdays or Fun Fridays.

D) Check of your mundane details!

Answer these questions for your characters!

How accessible is clean water, clean food, and good healthcare for your character in their home country/state?

What is the most common meal they are going to be eating, not just holiday foods?

What are common bands and musical acts they will hear on the radio?

How westernized is their country?

What is the average clothing a typical person of their social ladder would wear?

What is their house like? Is it typical of the region or unique?

Are they an immigrant? If so, what generation?

Where do they receive their money from? What's the typical income of a person and what's their job going to be?

What's their relationship with their country neighbors like?

These are just some quick little questions to help get you thinking about the mundane reality of living in a new place. Observe your own life and how that could change if you lived in, say, Quebec.

E) Differences and Shame

Even if you are sitting here being like "TL;DR, but why should I care? My Afghan character is totally separated from her country's values and she's totally not going to be like that so why should I even research"

Well, have you ever felt shame for not doing the 'conventional' thing? Even if you know the convention is morally wrong?

You see, in our mind is a little keyhole and it always feels like something is watching you, judging you. That's your SuperEgo! It's that little morality center in your mind that your parents/caretakers/society gave you as you were learning right from wrong as a kid and even if you know that you don't agree with your country's belief, there is still that inherited shame.

Maybe your character is a rebel, sure, but even rebels feel shame about their unconventional lives. It's a sad fact that many gay people, even in safe company, would never show off their queerness because they grew up in a household, community, or even an entire culture where being queer was either extremely unsafe or just . . . shameful. Even if they know that's wrong, there is still a sense of "I have to keep this down, I'm a bad person for doing this, it's embarrassing". It's the part of your brain that causes ex-religious kids to never engage in self-pleasure or even go against a lot of the religious teachings, even in private! Holding a joint in your hand for the thousandth time and still thinking 'what would grandma think?'

So, even if your character fancies themselves as a rebel, someone with completely radical beliefs, they will still feel the gaze of their parents, their teachers, their neighbors, just judging them all the time and making them walk on eggshells.

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

How To Write A Jewish Character

As someone who had written a Jewish character for one of my many stories~, I understand that it can be a bit hard, especially considering all the stereotypes so I'll break down the process for you, my lovelies!

One: What Does Ashkenazi Even Mean?

First things first, Jewish-ness is an ethno-religion, both an ethnicity and a religion. Someone can be ethnically but not religious Jewish and vice-versa. For the purposes of this, we are going to be focusing mostly on the ethnicity side but touching down on the religious portion.

There are three main groups for the Jewish world population depending on which diaspora group they follow:

Ashkenazi: Ethnically from Germany and Eastern Europe, tends to be white. Cultural signifiers are the stereotypical variety: hooked nose, black hair, pale white skin, Yiddish (basically Hebrew and German crossed), and such. While they still experience antisemitism, they have more privilege typically.

Sephardic: Spain and Portugal, spread across North Africa and the Americas after being expunged. Their language is Ladino, and their interpretation of the Jewish law is a bit different, mostly with food, and they tend to have a bit more connection to their local non-Jewish community since the Ashkenazi's had tension with their Christian neighbors in Europe.

Mizrahi: Eastern countries such as Iraq, Yemen, and Iran. They tend to be segregated off from the wider Jewish community (Israel), but they are getting slowly added in.

This is important because not all Jewish people are alike and certain groups will have different ✨ inherited trauma ✨ (because the Holocaust was, y'know, European).

Two: Jewish Personality

Now, if you are reading this, I'm guessing I don't have to go on the whole "every single person is an individual snowflake in a wide snow globe" disclosure so I'm just gonna get on with it!

Self-Criticism: A lot of Jewish people, like people of other minorities, are insecure of their minority status so they will try to make themselves smaller or go as far as to distance themselves from their Jewish community (being the good Jewish person or disavowing their religion) either for social stability or even for safety. This can be in small ways. For example, my character, Leah (yeah, I know, stereotypical, but it was also my cat's name), doesn't pray when her roommate is in the room because she doesn't want to be seen as 'that religious'. It's awkward. It's a bit shameful. Are all Jewish people insecure? No, but people who tend to 'go with the flow' or live in more segregated, collectivist cultures are going to trend more towards assimilation than identity

Keep in mind that calling another Jewish person 'self-hating', is typically used in Jewish Left vs Jewish Right debates as a way of preventing any critique of the Israeli government. So, yeah, don't use the exact term but the feelings stand.

2. Trauma. Generational trauma is a thing and Jewish people have a lot of it. Not only the Holocaust but there have been generations upon generations of forced exclusion, abuse, and blaming from the Black Plague even. So Jewish people tend to have high rates of anxiety and an obligation to live up, a kind of inherited survivor's guilt. The Holocaust, because Jewish writing and Holocaust always go together, was only 81 years ago. We still have Holocaust survivors. A lot of Jewish people have relatives who were in the Holocaust, alive and deceased, including parents and grandparents. It's incredibly recent.

3. Speaking of guilt, all the time, you'll hear about Jewish guilt. There is Christian guilt where it is "I was born wrong and in sin" because Christians believe that being born is inherited sin while Jewish guilt is more about "You could've done better".

4. Food. Ashkenazi Jewish people got Latkas, Matzo balls, bagels, challah, brisket, borscht, and tzimmes. Sephardic got eggplants, jelly donuts, and baklava. Mizrahi got kubbeh, pilaf, gondi, and so many salads. Obviously, not every jewish person eats bagels stuffed with brisket every day but it's fun to throw in. Just not Challah, that's holiday.

5. Jewish Comedy: Expect a lot of sarcasm, using satire on heavy themes, and some clever wordplay. A lot of jokes will be about Jewish stereotypes: the nagging mom, the materialistic Jewish American princess, the assimilated secular Jewish person, the gossiping yenta, and such. If this seems already common, it's because there are A LOT of Jewish people in comedy who popularized this style.

Gotta Address The Stereotype In The Room

No, Jewish people are not reptiles trying to take over the world and commit blood libel. (hey, that's Nazi ideology)

No, Jewish people are not obsessed with money. (hey, that's Nazi ideology)

No, Jewish people can't just walk into a job interview, say they are Jewish, and get the job. (yep, still Nazi ideology, and old-school, racist ideology since minorities are competing with white people and how dare they!)

No, not all Jewish people have a large, hooked nose, afros or big messy hair, speak with their hands (Nazi Propaganda), or red/brown hair.

No, you probably shouldn't make a Jewish character into a goblin in your fantasy world even if they are well-written.

No, don't make them a vampire either.

No, not all Jewish women are materialistic, white, secular, and upper middle-class peeps who dream of marrying orthodontists. (hey, that's sexist)

No, not all Jewish men are effeminate lawyers who are super obsessed with education. Jewish men can be traditionally masculine . . . or not!

No, not all Jewish people are entirely secular or entirely religious. People, like, Christians can be "Christian in name only and sometimes on the holidays" to "Die-Hard Christian" and everything in between.

No, not all Jewish people are liberal.

However, you shouldn't just make a Jewish character without stereotypical traits. Stereotypes often do come from rich aspects of the culture.

Jewish ideals do emphasize that men should be academically focused, gentle, and more emotionally entuned than other forms of femineity.

Jewish people do often care about money since there are many that live in working class families where money does have to be counted by the coin.

Ashkenazi Jewish people are often pale with dark, frizzy, brunette hair

Jewish people do place value on education, family structures, religion, charity, justice, and service

It's only negative when they are either

A: not treated with empathy and seen through a mean-spirited lense

or

B: the only Jewish representation people get.

Jewish, overbearing mothers were created as a stereotype when the Woman of Valor got placed in America, dealt with being a new immigrant before the wave of Jewish Middle Class Suburbia came, and wanted their children to take the new opportunities in America that they couldn't. In comparison to the intellectual, active personalities of Jewish women to the 'current' American ideals of sweet but not too bright apple pie women, Jewish women were seen as aggressive, unfeminine, and out-of-touch with the cushy stability middle-class Jewish Americans had achieved.

So, yeah, be a regular, compassionate human being and you'll do great!

[imtotallynotbecominggayer]

Hello World!

@imbecominggayer: This is me. Yeah, lost the password so now I'm a conservative (jk . . . or not?)

So, I'm just gonna have to post until my friends find me . . . :(