Couldn’t sleep so I was going through photos and stumbled upon things I wrote on this very blog.
To think that I spent over 5 years grieving over a boy who wouldn’t even give me a chance to see my growth after years of our separation.
I remember the moment I let you go, back in 2019 when I realized you’d never answer my call but expect me to always answer yours.
To watch a different guy pursue me for years just to not want me once he had me. *Caleb*
To hit such a low, to throw a spiritual tantrum! To blatantly tell God in 2021, "ima figure it out, you stay to the side."
I was far from figuring anything out nor getting it right.
And then God showed up anyway. Giving me my husband. Alex saw me at my darkest, and you know what he said? He said he still saw God in me. He saw me the way God saw me and loved me like that since he first uttered the words.
I watched a real man give a real pursuit to get me. He is the first man where I have never thought about going back to an ex.
And to see those posts where I thought anyone else was even remotely deserving of me. It wasn’t because you didn’t want me anymore, Julian. It’s because God didn’t want you for me.
He saved me and ensured I would get the Christ fearing man, the love, that I always deserved.
It absolutely wows me that this is my life, and that it has come full circle.
And if you find this blog and read this post, there’s no bad blood. I hope you find Jesus and that you get to be as blessed as He has made me.
I smile as I write this because God is just too good for our own good.
-Mrs. Tiffany Lord















