PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Kaledo Art
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
JBB: An Artblog!
KIROKAZE
art blog(derogatory)
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Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
DEAR READER
Andulka
Product Placement
JVL
occasionally subtle
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@inaconstantstateofmisery
Realities Delusions (2012)
The shadows of darkness Taking over one corner at a time Light disappearing Reality losing the last line Reaching for their hand Falling even further Taking one last breath As the world begins to wither Imagination running wild Differences being shattered Similarities deepening Hallucinations battered Reality set in Truth no longer lost Lies put to shame Psychotic line uncrossed
Windows (2009)
I’m looking through your window and I see all your pain
Its not a window to your house, or a building, or a car
It’s a window to your eyes, your soul, your heart
You don’t like it when people look in
But you know me, I can’t help it
I hate to see you in pain all the time
But we both know, there’s nothing we can do
I’ve tried to help, to make things better, to make there be no pain
All you do is push me away
Now look where we are now, merely enemies that used to be friends
We used to be close, we used to talk non stop
Now its like you’ve changed into the one person you didn’t want to become
The one person you said you would never become
I guess the saying about high school is true
“High school changes people into the one thing they said they’d never become”
No one can change it cause its just how things are
So I guess this is my goodbye to you
Its not A short time goodbye
It’s a “we don’t need each other anymore” goodbye
Goodbye (2012)
No one likes them but no one can control them
They happen all the time even when people aren’t expecting it to
Most people think its twowords that mean nothing
But when you do say it, its one word that means everything
It means no more chances, no more talking,
no Keeping in touch,
And it means no more seeing me
Yes, one simple word that anyone can say
But one simple word that hurts many when said
I guess you could say its like doing murder,
but Without the dead body
Its murder of someone’s soul, someone’s heart, someone’s life
Not real life, but meaning
The word hurts just as bad
It brings pain and regret, not love and remorse
It causes people to do things they never thought of
I hate to do this, and I know you would to
But that word needs to be said and no one ever cares who says it
Just as long as it’s said
So…here it goes…
Goodbye
Dropping a Bad Habit (2014)
Breaking out from the inside Shattered heart ready to die Taking one last breath Ready to be taken by the dark side Looking strong for your peers Letting out all your fears Screaming loud but no one can hear Your reaching out but no one's near Close your eyes and take a deep breath Open them wide and look at the sky There's a hand reaching out for you to take You don't realize it now but so much is at stake Take one last breath and look around There's people there to pick you up when your down Friends are better then the forgotten and physchotic After all it is your world to break your bad habits
Deceit (2014)
Two woman in love with one heart One man without a care The difference between faithful and cheating One woman made up of wear and tear Love lost in a dark abyss Heart broken in a tragic defeat The mistress won the war of love And the man walked away without discrete She gave up without a fight Heart shattered in a million pieces Covering up her sorrow Using deceiving faces Waiting to trust again Will he ever come along? Only hope and time can tell While she picks up the pieces and sings a sorrow filled song
Egotistical Hitler (2011)
I know it shouldn’t bother me but it does Probably because you were one of the people I trust One of the people I could tell anything I still think that, but I can’t say it cause I don’t want to be Disappointed in myself Disappointed for believing in someone that let Someone else treat me the way he did that one Saturday Or for believing in someone who can’t help me with anything, Especially when I cant think straight There was A lot of words to describe you when we Were friends, To choose one word would be like choosing my mom over my dad, difficult But now things have changed and im not having A hard time Picking one word to describe you What is that one word? You may ask Well it’s harsh, uncalled for, and it can hurt many That word is egotistical And if you asked me what your name should be if you changed it I would say Hitler As of now I think of you as someone who likes destruction, Pain, hurt, the cause of bullet wounds, And A person that just doesn’t care about anyone but Themselves I know its harsh but you know its true You have changed into something horrible that even the Sweetest person can’t even try to like Please explain to me why you changed And why you chose to change into something that horrible
Turning Tables (2012)
The tables are turning Our love is burning No horse an no knight Nothing is right My heart is breaking You are only good at flaking Don’t call me or tell me you’re sorry Because I won’t pick up the phone I have no more worry I’m down to the last straw My knees are raw From begging and pleading Now I’m the one left crying and bleeding
History
I’m sitting here thinking about that night. Tears running from my eyes because we both know I lost you when I met you Now I’m falling apart like wet snow. Now I’m sitting her alone Wishing I could take it all back I wish everything could start over So we can patch up what we lack It just doesn’t make sense No matter what I won’t understand How can we go from being best friends to strangers How can everything between us end I guess this is how it will always end You happy without me Me by myself at the end of the day Both of us history.
ヒーリング
It’s been a year since I broke up with the man I thought I’d marry. He was sweet, caring, loving, and quirky. He knew just how to make me smile, how to make me laugh, how to dry my tears. He was perfect in my eyes.
But he lied.
The job he said he had wasn’t real. The family he said he came from didn’t exist. And the life he said he lived was make believe.
As of today, I’m happy he lied. I’m happy he broke my heart and turned me into this hardshelled woman who refuses to let that happen to me again.
Why?
Because. Because of what he did to me I learned to love myself. I fell in love with myself. Because of him I met finally realized my best friend of 8 years was more than just my best friend, he would become the man I spend Friday night’s with. The man who makes me sigh in disbelief at just how weird he is. The man who showed me how I deserved to be loved.
Thank you for being the on who broke me and allowing him to put back the pieces.
Update: my best friend of almost ten years was just as bad as him. So. Thank you, Assface’s.
Year of Heartbreak
니는 많은 것을 경험했다. 나는 울었다. 딘단한. 많은 사림들이 나를 해 첬습니다. 이것이 일어닌 일이다:
August of 2016 I found out the man I was engaged to was not just cheating on me but he had married another woman five months prior to the day I found out. Not only had he married her while we were still together but he had also had a child with her. I was with this man for two years, ready to marry him, happy that my family loved him, when one of my two best friend felt like she needed to do a background check on him behind my back. I’m glad she did. Though it broke my heart and I felt destroyed, I was glad.
By June of 2017 I was healed, happy, and madly in love with... myself! But then my heart was broken once again but this time it wasn’t by a man but a woman, my best friend. It was her wedding day and I was so excited to be her maid of honor! I was her daughters God Mother, her best friend since the age of seven, and we had been inseparable even though she had moved thousands of miles away. However, minutes before we were due to walk down the aisle with the groomsman we took the wedding photos. That’s when my heart was broken. The moment the photographer told the maid of honor to stand next to the bride and I stepped forward but she called over someone else, someone who had only been in her life for a couple of years and definitely not the person she had asked. Her reasoning? “The photographer asked and I had to pick someone quick.” Was I not good enough? Was she disappointed that I was the one she had chosen? On that day I lost my best friend. My heart was broken and I felt destroyed.
Then December 2017 came and I was okay. I had my other best friend by my side and I had been seeing a man for almost six months! He wasn’t just anyone though, he had been a good friend of mine for almost ten years when I accidentally texted him at two in the morning at the age of fourteen instead of my “boyfriend” at the time. We had decided to take it slow and see where it goes. My mom adored him and he always talked about how excited he was to go hunting and shooting with my dad. He always called him to talk about cars. He loved my family and my family loved him. But things started to get weird. He suddenly became controlling, asking me where I was all the time, asking who I was with, asking if I had another boyfriend, and even calling me fourteen times within five minutes. I nicely told him I needed some space. We weren’t “official” yet and I didn’t see a problem. Two weeks later a girl sent me a friend request on facebook and said she caught her boyfriend texting me. After a quick discussion we both discovered her boyfriend was him, my friend of ten years that I had finally romantically opened up to. It wasn’t that simple though, that would be to easy. Their TWO YEAR RELATIONSHIP was now unintentionally ruined by me and I wasn’t even aware of what was happening. Once again I was heart broken and feeling destroyed.
It’s only been a week and I am trying. I’m trying to stay strong. I’m trying not to cry. I’m trying to tell myself that all of this has happened for a reason. But I can’t. I don’t feel strong. I can’t help but cry. I can’t believe this all happened for a reason because why would this happen to someone who has done nothing wrong? The worse part? I love myself completely, more than anyone else could. Yet, at the same time, I hate myself completely, more than anyone else could.
Yes, I’m heart broken.
Yes, I feel destroyed.
And it’s my fault.
Oh
I have very strong legs and I had a thick, plastic water bottle in between them when I looked at my bff and said "I bet I could break this with my legs." Thinking it was impossible I squeezed my legs together and stopped the moment I heard a crack and all I did was
ヒーリング
It's been a year since I broke up with the man I thought I'd marry. He was sweet, caring, loving, and quirky. He knew just how to make me smile, how to make me laugh, how to dry my tears. He was perfect in my eyes.
But he lied.
The job he said he had wasn't real. The family he said he came from didn't exist. And the life he said he lived was make believe.
As of today, I'm happy he lied. I'm happy he broke my heart and turned me into this hardshelled woman who refuses to let that happen to me again.
Why?
Because. Because of what he did to me I learned to love myself. I fell in love with myself. Because of him I met finally realized my best friend of 8 years was more than just my best friend, he would become the man I spend Friday night's with. The man who makes me sigh in disbelief at just how weird he is. The man who showed me how I deserved to be loved.
Thank you for being the on who broke me and allowing him to put back the pieces.
Ex-bestfriend
I used to have a best friend who was more like a sister to me but some things happened on her end that caused a fallout in our relationship. There's so much I need to talk to her about and I can feel my heart drop into my stomach the moment I remember that I can't. She was my person for 14 years then one day she was gone. She was someone who helped shape my personality, someone who took up most of my childhood memories, and someone I talked to about anything and everything. But now, now I don't have that, we don't have that. I miss her but I can't tell her that because if I do she'll think I forgive her and I can't do that. I'm lost without her but I'm hurt with her. This feeling is worse than a breakup.
Interview
For the first time in two years I have an interview. I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous. I used to be that girl who would do interviews constantly to one who hasn’t done one in a long time. I don’t even remember how to act in an interview. What does one do in this situation?!??!?!?!?!
So, I'm rewatching Sensory Couple and I forgot why I enjoyed it so much to begin with. The suttle connections and the constant twists is what really hooks you to the show. Then you watch it again and see things you never noticed before. LET THE BINGE WATCHING BEGIN. Will make update with spoilers!
Lost
Currently stuck in a tough spot, or should I say lost instead? I hate my job, a lot. I hate where I live, I hate the people I’m associated with, and most of all, I hate everything around me.
I’ve always loved traveling and learning new things but now I’m at that rock bottom moment where I constantly wonder “What if?” I get the whole “Be the change you want to be” concept but I can’t really do that at this moment.
I’m 22, I want to go back to school, and I want to move out of the country but my biggest issue is myself. I admit I hold myself back but I also admit that I really don’t know what to do in this case. Community Colleges around me don’t have what I want to major in and the only University that does most likely won’t accept me since I haven’t been in school since I graduated from high school. I’m stuck doing all of this studying and learning on my own, though I’m not even sure I’m learning the right things.