Adam: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Shiro: Burn the house down.
Adam: And what did you do?
Shiro: Made you dinner!
Adam:
Shiro: . . . and burnt the house down.

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@incorrect-adashi
Adam: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Shiro: Burn the house down.
Adam: And what did you do?
Shiro: Made you dinner!
Adam:
Shiro: . . . and burnt the house down.
Adam: What the fuck.
Shiro: Language.
Adam: Whomst the actual sexual intercourse.
Shiro: what
No. You're wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.
Adam to Shiro
The only running I do is out of money.
Adam
[Adam is out of town.]
Shiro, calling Adam: No, Adam, everything is running smoothly. Keith, tell Adam everything is fine.
Keith: Hey, we haven't eaten for days, your plants are dying, and I'm dropping out of the Garrison. Love you, bye.
Adam: I have very high standards.
Shiro: [smiles]
Adam: Oh no, he's meeting all my standards.
Keith: Shiro and Adam, sitting in a tree.
Shiro and Adam: Oh no-
Keith and Pidge: ho-mo-sex-u-a-li-ty.
Shiro: When you said you were "magical in bed" this isn't exactly what I was expecting.
Adam, holding up an eight of hearts: Is this your card?
Shiro, softly: holy shit.
Adam: Why are you helping me so much?
Shiro: Because my life is a mess right now and I compulsively take care of other people when I don't know how to take care of myself.
Adam: I don't care if you don't like space puns, I like space puns.
Shiro: Comet me, Adam.
Adam: Did you planet that?
Shiro: Yes, and it was very spaceal.
Keith: why are you holding Adam's hand?
Shiro: hand holding alleviates stress and anxiety.
Keith: oh, okay, I thought you were dating or something.
Shiro: we are, I thought that was obvious.
Adam, pointing to high shelf: Could you get that for me?
Shiro: I guess you do need me after all.
Adam: I could always replace you with a step-stool.
Shiro: Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you ;)
Adam: Your Netflix password.
Adam: Can you ask if Shiro likes me?
Keith: But you guys are married?
Adam: Yeah, but can you ask-
Shiro: Is this finally the sweet embrace of death?
Adam: This is . . . a hug.
Shiro: Adam, I'm expecting a baby.
Adam: But Shiro, you're no-
Shiro: Shhh, here he comes.
Keith, walking in the room: Shiro please stop doing that.
Adam: Shiro, I'm done with your shit. We're getting divorced.
Shiro: We're not even married-
Adam: D I V O R C E D