Incorrect Angbang

Incorrect quotes featuring the Dark Lords! Open to requests. Not necessarily Melkor/Mairon exclusive. All posts just involve either one of or both of them. AVATAR AND HEADER BY @melkorwashere

[incorrect-angbang]

Eru: hey sons what do you want to eat

Melkor: the SOULS of the INNOCENT

Manwë: a bagel

Melkor: NOOOOOO

Manwë: ..........two bagels

[incorrect-angbang]

Aulë: so basically, what I was thinking of, is um

Melkor: *seduces Mairon*

Aulë: aw fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this

[incorrect-angbang]

This is my first angbang shitpost and honestly I’m proud

[incorrect-angbang]

Melkor: NOT TO BE RACIST OR ANYTHING... BUT NOLDOR S U U U-

[incorrect-angbang]

Sauron: and Aulë and ya—

Yavanna:

Sauron: Aulë and MOM-

[incorrect-angbang]

Melkor: if I had a penny for every time I wasn’t cool. I’d have. No pennies

[incorrect-angbang]

Melkor: Hey uh how much money do you have

Manwë: Uh like 69 cents

Melkor: OH! You know what that means!

Manwë, crying: I don’t have enough money for chicken nugget

[incorrect-angbang]

Remember that my ask is open to any Angbang headcanons lemme Hear them

[incorrect-angbang]

Mairon: babe we did it we took over arda

Melkor: MAIRON. IM TRYING TO STEAL THE SILMARILS. WHAT DO YOU WANT

[joetamy]

A little bit of Mairon, and a little bit of Melkor- as it should be <3

[incorrect-angbang]

My BOYS. Look at THEM. They are BEAUTIFUL BOYS

[incorrect-angbang]

I may claim to be making these quotes up

But in reality most of them come from my friend’s rp acc’s vine thread on twitter

[incorrect-angbang]

Eru @ the Valar: you guys say Colorado!!!

Melkor on a sled: IM A GIRAFFE

[incorrect-angbang]

hc that melkor made the Carrion flower as a present for Sauron, or vice versa. Thoughts? please consider searching it up. this flower is ridiculous i stg. It’s the biggest flower in the world and looks like a misshaped dick. It’s totally melkor’s fault

Headcanon? He 100% did this

[thefifthbattle]

I mean, yeah. Theres pretty much nobody els who would even consider making a 100+ pound, 10 foot tall flower that looks like a shriveled dick and smells like death. Mostly Im just curious as to why. Was it accidental? What is it even for? Melkor what the hell?

[incorrect-angbang]

It was not accidental.

Idk why the FUCK he would do it (other than to see Mairon get extremely flustered) but most of his actions are questionable anyway.

[thefifthbattle]

You are correct of course. Perhaps it has to do with Mairon’s extremely popular “nickname”, mostly attributed to the fact that he’s a necromancer and works with dead bodies a Lot. Maybe it has to do with freaky Valar sex. Maybe it has to do with both. Who knows.

———

“Babe look I made you a present”

“Look Mairon, it smells like your favorite perfume”

“Melkor for fucksake it’s not my fault I can’t get the smell of dead elf off of me”

“Mairon, dearest, I made you a gift. You can call it Grond Jr if you’d like.”

“Mairon, light of my life, joy of my heart, my only love, eru’s only decent creation, my wonderful lieutenant, look at the plant! It’s a Succulant ;)”

*disembodied sigh*

“Melkor, we have a war”

“A Succulant, Mairon”

“…that’s not a Suculant, but it is impressive nonetheless. I did not know the Valar preferred plant based sex toys rather then the kinds typically preferred by Maiar. I sure do love learning new things about you, Master.”

“M a i r o n”

[incorrect-angbang]

IM DYING

[incorrect-angbang]

Credit to theabhxrred on Twitter

[incorrect-angbang]

hc that melkor made the Carrion flower as a present for Sauron, or vice versa. Thoughts? please consider searching it up. this flower is ridiculous i stg. It’s the biggest flower in the world and looks like a misshaped dick. It’s totally melkor’s fault

Headcanon? He 100% did this

[thefifthbattle]

I mean, yeah. Theres pretty much nobody els who would even consider making a 100+ pound, 10 foot tall flower that looks like a shriveled dick and smells like death. Mostly Im just curious as to why. Was it accidental? What is it even for? Melkor what the hell?

[incorrect-angbang]

It was not accidental.

Idk why the FUCK he would do it (other than to see Mairon get extremely flustered) but most of his actions are questionable anyway.

[incorrect-angbang]

Mairon: *holding baby smaug*

Smaug: SQUEAK

Melkor: DONT YOU YELL AT YOUR MOTHER.

Smaug: S Q U E E E E A A A K

Melkor: you think that’s funny???

Smaug: squeak

[incorrect-angbang]

I guess y’all want more baby dragon posts

[incorrect-angbang]

We passed 200 while I was busy with school

Thanks for bearing with my constant absences

[incorrect-angbang]

Mairon: you have a problem

Melkor, covered in baby dragons: no I don’t