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Cordelia: I think I would make a good cult leader. In fact, I could do it professionally.

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Angel: You call it manipulative behaviour, I call it diplomatic problem-solving.

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Anya: I don’t like monkeys. They scare me. I don’t like that they have little fingers and fur. It just seems wrong.

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Angel: I do like a good bit of psychological warfare. You know, as a hobby.

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Drusilla: Not all men? Not all thirteenth century rats, and yet…

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Cordelia: So-crates! The philosopher! He made a living out of telling people they were stupid! Why can’t I do that?

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Xander: If you want to be almost not lying, you can write ‘18’ on a piece of paper and stick it in your hair so that most of you is ‘under 18’

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Spike: He looks too boring for tattoos. I also feel he lacks pain tolerance. Just based on vibes.

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Buffy: I know who Mick Jagger is. He was referenced in at least 3 Ke$ha songs.

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Drusilla: I've taken to responding to everything Darla says with "as the prophecy foretold". It brings me joy.

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Giles: It was like you slapped me in the face with a fish, twice. Dear god, why?

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Buffy: I figured out that meditation is just daydreaming but about sensory input and now I know how to meditate. It's like taking a nap without the commitment.

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Cordelia: We don’t believe in looking down on ourselves on this house. Only other people.

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Xander: He is on steroids! I love being right.

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Giles: Told a kid I couldn't tell half of what he was saying because he was talking in a monotone and I was listening to black sabbath. he asked me. What black sabbath is. And told me it sounded bad. Phillistine.

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Spike: I just want to fight everybody, and if they’re better than me, I just need to fight them extra times until I win.

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Spike: I’m too busy simping to get things done.

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