Incorrect Buzzfeed Unsolved Quotes

"Because I didn't want to say 69." - Ryan B.

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Ryan: Am I right, Shane?

Shane: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair I wasn’t listening

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Shane: If something happens and I don't make it, just know I'll be looking up and watching over you.

Ryan: Up?

Shane: Oh, yeah, I'll be in hell for sure.

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Shane: I have good news and I have bad news… Which first?

Ryan: Good news

Shane: I promise I never do it again

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Ryan: This coffee tastes like dirt

Shane: Maybe because you put soil in the coffee maker instead of coffee.

Ryan: Oh. In that case it’s pretty good *Sips*

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Shane: I just realized that "Lord Farquaad" from Shrek is supposed to sound like "Lord f**k wad."

Shane: Man, that movie has layers. Like an onion- OH MY GOD.

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Ryan: Shane's been in the hospital so much they gave him a preferred customer card.

Shane: Yeah, one more head injury and I win a trip to Hawaii.

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-Sleeping in a haunted location-

Ryan: Hey...

Shane: Hey?

Ryan: I can’t sleep

Shane: I can. Goodnight.

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Shane: Strange light in my kitchen so either getting murdered or abducted. Will keep you updated.

Ryan: What if it’s Mothman?

Shane: Then it’s marriage.

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Shane: Ryan, I'm out to lunch. If the Sims I trapped in the bedroom finally fall in love text me IMMEDIATELY! Yes, I know they look like us.

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Ryan: I could strangle you

Shane: You aren’t tall enough

Ryan: You’ve sunk low enough for me to reach.

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Shane: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?

Ryan: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

Shane: Literally all you had to do was say no.

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Ryan: You can’t set all of your problems on fire.

Shane: You’d be surprised about how many things are flammable.

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Shane: I’ve never been in a snowball fight.

Ryan: Really?

Shane: I don’t even know the rules. Is there like a points system, or is it to the death?

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Shane: I like it when guys roll up their sleeves so you can see their forearms.

Ryan, looking down and realizing he only has two arms: Fuck

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Shane: I'm like 6'4

Ryan: I believe you mean 5'16

Shane: Ryan, what the fuck

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Shane: Due to personal reasons I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

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Shane: Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!

Ryan: What are you bidding on?

Shane: I’m bidding on a table