Incorrect Borussia Dortmund Quotes

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*after Mats' return*

Mats: So are we still in a fight?

Schmelle: Are you still an asshole?

Mats: I don't think so.

Schmelle: Well, then I guess we're okay.

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Mo: ‘Sleepy’ is such a cute word. Everyone needs to stop saying ‘tired’ and start saying ‘sleepy’

Marco: I’m so sleepy of this shit

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Julian: Wow, the stars are really beautiful tonight.

Thorgan: Do you know what else is beautiful?

Julian: Roman.

Thorgan, nodding: Roman.

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Flight attendant: we are about to take off. Please make sure all small packages are secure.

Emre: *looks at Rapha*

Rapha: I will stab you.

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Marco: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one, you’ll be fined.

Gio: Heck.

Marco: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Marco: Oh no.

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Marco: They ask me how I manage the teamso easily.

Marco: The secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning Youssoufa called my name and when I showed up to see what was going on Gio shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.

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Gio: Want to know something weird?

Jadon: First of all, it’s four in the morning.

Jadon: Second of all, continue.

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Marco: *staring at a cup* What kind of tea is this?

Jadon: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.

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Gio: Did you know that thot means "thoughtful person"?

Schmelle: Really? I never knew that!

Schmelle: Vladi, thank you for helping me with this, you're such a thot :)

Piszczu, wheezing : iM a wHAt

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Mats: Don’t fear death. Fear the state in which you will die.

Marco: [horrified whisper] Bavaria.

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Erling: Don’t worry I’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

Jude: I think you mean cards.

Emre: He did not

Erling: *pulling out knives* I did not.

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there are some things up in the queue again 👀

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Julian: Can I be frank with you guys?

Marco: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is going to help.

Roman: Can I still be Roman?

Marco: Shh, let Frank speak.

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Marco, holding two pieces of bread to Romans face: what are you?

Roman, without missing a beat: A snack

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Jude: Why are Dan and Rapha sitting with their backs to each other?

Lukasz: They had an argument.

Jude: Then why are they holding hands?

Lukasz: Dan gets sad when they fight.

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Satan: Hey, I bought your soul last month and-

Marco: No returns.

Satan: Please, it’s making me sad.

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Mats: thank you for agreeing to see me.

Marcel: I didn’t, you just walked in here and started talking-

Mats: I don’t have time for a history lesson.