Darkside Detective Incorrect Quotes

A Darkside Detective Incorrect Quotes blog. Go figure. Posts Daily. Submissions Open.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Armelia: How are you so calm?!

McQueen: I’ve passed beyond “stressed”, beyond “hysteria”, into the gray misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

I'm a wizard. I mixed some herbs and crystals together and now PD knows the f-word.

-McQueen

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Buzz: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

McQueen: Oh, that was all real.

Buzz: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

McQueen: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

McQueen: What are you planning to do?

Emily: Hey, now. "Planning"?! Do you KNOW who you're talking to?!

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Dooley: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.

McQueen: Dooley, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-McQueen

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

McKing, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.

McQueen, in line behind him: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

-Dooley

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Raxa: What are you drinking?

Dooley: Vodka.

Raxa: Straight?

Dooley: No, pan. Why?

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Dooley: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine?

McQueen: Patrick, what did you do?

Dooley: Take a guess.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Scully: You look really stressed.

McQueen: Haha, it’s the stress.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Raxa: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

McQueen: Thanks, it's the trauma.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

-McQueen

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

I can't imagine what Emily is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

-Armelia

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

McQueen: Are you packed for the trip?

Dooley: Yup.

McQueen: Then where are your bags?

Dooley: All I’m bringing is a good attitude and a sense of adventure.

McQueen: A change of underwear might be nice.

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Devon: I think this might be a bad idea...

Emily: Don't start thinking on me now!

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Dooley: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that’s how he met his end.

McQueen: Dear God!

Dooley: Yeah! Exactly!