Jack: Hey, remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?
Avery: No, I said "Jack, don't lick the swing set," and you said "Don't tell me what to do, Avery." And then you licked the swing set.
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@incorrect-killcount
Jack: Hey, remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?
Avery: No, I said "Jack, don't lick the swing set," and you said "Don't tell me what to do, Avery." And then you licked the swing set.
PAM: What if instead of "seven minutes in heaven" there was a "seven minutes in hell" and what you do is you put two people in a closet together for seven minutes and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other
AVERY: WHY ARENāT THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
JACK: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
JACK: If you bite it and you die, itās poisonous; if it bites you and you die, itās venomous.
XAVIER: What if it bites me and it dies?
AVERY: That means youāre poisonous. Jesus Christ, Xavier, learn to listen.
ELLA: What if it bites itself and I die?
JACK: Itās voodoo.
AVERY: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
JACK: Thatās correlation, not causation.
XAVIER: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
YUNLIAN: Thatās kinky.
JACK: Oh my god.
JACK: This is probably the second weirdest way Iāve almost died.
AVERY: What was the first?
JACK: Itās very complicated but, long story short, my family is banned from every Olive Garden in the state.
DAMIEN: My reasons for doing things: 1. Spite. 2. The Aesthetic. Thatās it.
DAMIEN: ā¦
DAMIEN: Okay, I lied. 3. Attention.
HARRISON: Iām going to Taco Bell, want anything?
JACK: I want my childhood back.
HARRISON: Yeah I got like, $12.
AVERY: Xavier told me that instead of being sad, i should "go get it, girl". so i'm going to go get it, girl.
JACK: get what?
AVERY: unclear. i'll get everything, just to be safe.
JACK: i'm a good liar
XAVIER: did someone see-
JACK: yes, it was me, i did it and i'm a horrible person, a monster, for trying to hide it from you
XAVIER: I havenāt gotten an F since I failed recess in second grade. āTeachers need a break too, Xavier.ā
JACK: I have to be responsible for my own happiness? I canāt even be responsible for my own breakfast!
PAM: donāt go to the living room
MARISSA: why
PAM: i saw a spider
MARISSA: did you kill it?
PAM: i have two arms and it has eight itās not fair
JACK: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
AVERY: Please never become a surgeonā¦
JACK: [hand hanging off the bed]
RANDOM DEMON: [grabs it]
JACK: So what are weā¦
JACK: [having a moment with Xavier] So, just know no matter Wh-
YUNLIAN: [opens a soda]
JACK: What the fuck is that?
YUNLIAN: Iām thirstyā¦!
JACK: WERE HAVING A MOMENT!
YUNLIAN: Iām having a cola!
XAVIER: If I run and leap at Avery, he will most certainly catch me in his arms.
XAVIER: [bolting towards Avery] COMING IN!
AVERY: XAVIER, NO, IM HOLDING COFFEE-
[Xavier leaps and Avery drops the coffee, catching him. And groaning in annoyance.]
XAVIER: Thatās Jack. Heās always trying to prove that heās tough.
XAVIER: [watching as Jack pours a few drops of hot sauce on his sandwich] Careful, that stuffs pretty hot.
JACK: Oh, is it? Hmm? [Jack pours the entire bottle onto the sandwich]