Incorrect Lucissa Quotes

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Lucius: I’m straight-up depressed. Narcissa has been doing her best to cheer me up. She gave me a sticker this morning just for waking up.

Severus: Ew, it’s like dating your teacher.

Lucius: I know, it’s hot.

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Lucius: Well, no rest for the sexy.

Narcissa: That’s not the expression.

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Lucius: I’m a man of my word.

Lucius: … if I feel like it.

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Severus: Why is Lucius standing on the counter?

Narcissa: He likes to feel powerful.

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Lucius: [to Narcissa] I can’t wait to own peacocks with you.

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Lucius: Can we talk one ten to another?

Narcissa: I’m an eleven, Malfoy, but continue.

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Narcissa: Lucius doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants” followed by a question mark!

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Bellatrix: How was the honeymoon?

Narcissa: Lucius got drunk and lit our marriage certificate on fire. He said, “Good luck trying to return me without the receipt”.

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Narcissa:[walking in] It’s baby making time! Pants off, Lucius!

Severus:

Lucius:

Narcissa: Didn’t see you there, Severus.

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Narcissa: What broke?

Lucius: Stupid glass!

Narcissa: Remind me to get smarter glass.

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Merry Christmas!!! 🎄💚 I hope you’re all happy and healthy!

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Narcissa: *hugging Lucius from behind* I want a baby.

Lucius: Cissa, we’ve been through this. I need to be facing the other way.

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Narcissa: You were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the porch!

Lucius: I did! I named him Lord Moseby. He likes Fruit Loops.

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Rodolphus: Who would win in a battle between our spouses?

Narcissa: I can’t answer that.

Rodolphus: So… Bellatrix?

Narcissa: Yeah.

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Lucius: Hey, but at least you have that cool, pregnant lady glow.

Narcissa: Oh, that’s sweat. You throw up all morning, you’ll have that glow too.

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Lucius: You’re cute when you’re angry.

Narcissa: *glares at him*

Lucius: But not when you’re angry with me.

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Lucius, introducing Narcissa: This is my better half.

Narcissa, introducing Lucius: This is my bitter half.