Legacy of Incorrect Quotes

Who is to say, with all the alternate timelines, that these were not said at some point? (On semi-hiatus. Submissions and reblogs will be posted on occasion, but mostly the mod is in Raziel-at-the-bottom-of-the-lake mode)

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Zephon: I got chased down a dark alley by an ant

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Raziel: Hey, sorry I'm late, I wandered into a liminal space.

Raziel: ... what do you mean I've been missing for 500 years

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Moebius: You can burn all the incense you want. I'll still be back.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Raziel: If you see something fly by your window today, it was probably me. This wind is ridiculous.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Kain: Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this empire apart.

[paragonrobits]

Raziel, probably: Alas! Once more I am faced with the chiefest and most onerous of the many foes I have been confronted with, throughout my many ages... SLIDING BLOCK PUZZLES. Kain: Do not mistake my somber tones for petulance, Raziel, but I might be nearly affronted. I had always imagined that it was I who was your chiefest nemesis. Raziel: I do have affairs outside of your schemes and plots, Kain.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Raziel: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

[a-cosmic-elf]

~Later at the party~

Raziel: “Yeah, people think it was jealousy, but… *takes swig of drink*

Look, to save the world I had to be thrown into the abyss, and if Kain hadn’t torn my wings off, I would have just flown away!” 😬

The party:

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Raziel: I wouldn't be a good sacrificial lamb. I'd be a huge bitch about it.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Raziel: I don't get why 'pretty boy' is an insult. Call me a pretty boy. Tell me I'm the prettiest boy you've ever seen.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Zephon, on all fours and whispering to a bug: Do you yearn? Is there a hunger in your heart?

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Malek: *opens closet door* See? No monsters.

Raziel: *stops crying* Okay.

Malek: Now can we please finish killing these vampires?

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Fledgling Vampire: One time during the royal parade, I teared up because I pictured Emperor Kain exploding.

Kain: ???

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Kain: I prevented a murder today.

Raziel: How?

Kain: Self control.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Kain: Do you live in a swamp, a bog, a marsh, a fen, or a general wetland?

Vorador: ...

Vorador: I... don't know.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Raziel: I am not just a pretty face.

Raziel: I am also annoying, a know-it-all, and, most importantly, a bitch.

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Janos: Vorador forgot the word "iced" so he asked for a caramel macchiato "on the rocks".

[incorrect-nosgoth]

Elder Squid: Revenge is bad for you.

Raziel: I'm not doing it for my health!