Zephon: I got chased down a dark alley by an ant

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@incorrect-nosgoth
Zephon: I got chased down a dark alley by an ant
Raziel: Hey, sorry I'm late, I wandered into a liminal space.
Raziel: ... what do you mean I've been missing for 500 years
Moebius: You can burn all the incense you want. I'll still be back.
Raziel: If you see something fly by your window today, it was probably me. This wind is ridiculous.
Kain: Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this empire apart.
Raziel, probably: Alas! Once more I am faced with the chiefest and most onerous of the many foes I have been confronted with, throughout my many ages... SLIDING BLOCK PUZZLES. Kain: Do not mistake my somber tones for petulance, Raziel, but I might be nearly affronted. I had always imagined that it was I who was your chiefest nemesis. Raziel: I do have affairs outside of your schemes and plots, Kain.
Raziel: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
~Later at the party~
Raziel: “Yeah, people think it was jealousy, but… *takes swig of drink*
Look, to save the world I had to be thrown into the abyss, and if Kain hadn’t torn my wings off, I would have just flown away!” 😬
The party:
Raziel: I wouldn't be a good sacrificial lamb. I'd be a huge bitch about it.
Raziel: I don't get why 'pretty boy' is an insult. Call me a pretty boy. Tell me I'm the prettiest boy you've ever seen.
Zephon, on all fours and whispering to a bug: Do you yearn? Is there a hunger in your heart?
Malek: *opens closet door* See? No monsters.
Raziel: *stops crying* Okay.
Malek: Now can we please finish killing these vampires?
Fledgling Vampire: One time during the royal parade, I teared up because I pictured Emperor Kain exploding.
Kain: ???
Kain: I prevented a murder today.
Raziel: How?
Kain: Self control.
Kain: Do you live in a swamp, a bog, a marsh, a fen, or a general wetland?
Vorador: ...
Vorador: I... don't know.
Raziel: I am not just a pretty face.
Raziel: I am also annoying, a know-it-all, and, most importantly, a bitch.
Janos: Vorador forgot the word "iced" so he asked for a caramel macchiato "on the rocks".
Elder Squid: Revenge is bad for you.
Raziel: I'm not doing it for my health!