ONE INCORRECT ROCK

Stuff the band members probably didn't say, but there's no proof they didn't. Only as shippy as reality. Features occasional guest appearances by friends and family.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Hey was anyone gonna tell me Toru's rapping live again. Or did I have to find that out by SEEING IT IN PERSON TONIGHT MYSELF.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Tomoya: My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.

Taka: Quit bragging.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Michelle: Did you tell anybody we’re engaged?

Ryota: Yes, Michelle, I have no self-control and I told the pretzel vendor we’re engaged.

Michelle: Okay, no need to be sarcastic.

Ryota: No, seriously, I have no self-control and I told the pretzel vendor we’re engaged.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Ella: New Year, new me.

Ryota: You can't say that.

Ella: Why not?

Ryota: You're four. You're already new.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Taka: My New Year's resolution is the same as it is every year.

Taka: Be courteous.

Taka: But fuck shit up!

[incorrect-oneokrock]

I told my son, 'Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field’. He said, ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ I said, ‘That means it’s pasture bedtime’.

Tomoya

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Toru: Your leader is very tired.

Ryota: Why?

Toru: I watched you at the children's museum all day.

Tomoya: Yeah, you just watched. We're the ones who ran around.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Taka: Tomoya, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room in the pantry.

Tomoya: No—no, thank you.

Ryota: Well, Mori-chan, you did it. He’s finally full.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Taka: My ears are ringing.

Tomoya: Are you gonna answer them?

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Toru: You’re acting off.

Ryota: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like everyone thinks, 'Oh, Ryota is such a nice guy, Ryota is so happy-go-lucky! Ryota can’t be in a bad mood!' Well, you know what? Ryota CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Ryota IS in a bad mood!

[incorrect-oneokrock]

[loud commotion in the other room]

Takeru: Are the guys singing or fighting?

Toru: Both?

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Tomoya: Sorry it took so long. Someone accidentally hit all the buttons in the elevator one the way up here.

Tomoya:

Tomoya: It wasn't me.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Toru: You meant “stronger” here, right?

Taka: What’s it say?

Toru: “I’m proud to report that our band is stranger than it was a year ago.”

Taka: Yeah, that’s a typo.

Toru: It could go either way, really.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Tomoya: Toru said that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it’s burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold.

Tomoya: So if I eat a ghost pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they’ll cancel each other out and I’ll be fine!

[later]

Tomoya: Hey everyone, guess what hellfire tastes like.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Toru: You mean you didn't have a good date?

Ryota: No, I had a great date! She knew what to do, what to say. She was so cool. But her date dropped food, tripped over seats and couldn't think of anything good to say.

[incorrect-oneokrock]

I hate going to the pantry and finding out I’m the only snack in the house.

Tomoya, probably

[incorrect-oneokrock]

Taka: You guys are not making my life easy right now.

Ryota, Toru and Tomoya: Do we ever?

Taka: Good point.