King: Well, Reed, I made it... despite your directions.
Reed: Ah, Max King! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
-Reed goes into his kitchen and sees his oven-
Reed: -gasp- Oh egads, my roast is ruined! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Reed!
-Reed begins to leave the facility-
Charles Reed with his crazy explanations,
Mr. King gonna need his medication,
When he hears Reed's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
Reed: King, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
King: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Reed?
Reed: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams!
Reed, wiping his face: Ooh…
-Reed runs out and goes to a nearby fast food-
Reed: Mr. King, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
King: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Reed: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
King: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?"
Reed: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
King: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
Reed: Uhh... upstate New York?
King: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
Reed: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
King: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at McDonalds.
Reed: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Reed burgers. Old family recipe.
King: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
Reed: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
-Reed leaves into his burning kitchen then comes out-
Reed: -yawns- Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
King: Yes, I should be- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?
King: Uh- AURORA BOREALIS!? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR. AT THIS TIME OF DAY. IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY. LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN THE KITCHEN!?
-King leaving the burning PRET with Reed on the doorstep-
Quinn: Reed, the facility is on fire!
Reed: No, Quinn—it's just the northern lights!
King: Well, Reed, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
vaporwave
stormborns
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind