Vlad: Why are you so mean to me!?
Danny: I promised to beat up anyone who hurt you, and you hurt yourself the most.
Mike Driver
cherry valley forever

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Noah Kahan
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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KIROKAZE
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Cosimo Galluzzi
The Bowery Presents

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@incorrect-pompep
Vlad: Why are you so mean to me!?
Danny: I promised to beat up anyone who hurt you, and you hurt yourself the most.
Vlad: To be fair, I was going through some stuff—
Tucker: You mean death?
Danny: Hey I went through that too and I didn't try to kill anybody.
Dan: *slowly stands up*
Danny: Sit down right now or you're grounded.
Dan: *slowly sits back down*
Danny: Dani, stick with Vlad. Make sure he doesn't say anything insane. Or steal anything.
Vlad: Too late.
Dani: Don't worry! It's just scarves and hats and stuff.
Danny: I'm not arguing with a man that has big blue eyes. Whatever you say, beautiful.
Danny, talking to Sam: Really, the main issue with politics is politicians forgetting that they can be killed.
Vlad: ...I suddenly feel very unsafe in my own home.
Vlad, to Dani: First off, through unimaginable violence, all things are possible, so jot that down—
Danny: Let's cuddle so I can steal your body heat.
Vlad: Ah Daniel, ever the romantic.
Phantom: Is this even legal?
Plasmius: Since when has the law ever stopped either of us?
Phantom: ...Touché.
Vlad: Danone, Daniel and I are going out! If we're not back in three days, avenge our deaths!
Dan: 'Kay!
Danny: Dude, why are you like this?
Vlad: The real question is why aren't you like me? Neither of us had a decent parental figure.
Danny: *falls asleep on Vlad's chest*
Vlad: ...
Vlad: *whispers* Hello happiness, I haven't seen you in a while.
Vlad: I love knitting needles. I can make a scarf, I can make a hat, I can stab people in the eyes, I can make mittens—
Danny: What was that middle part?
Dani: He can make a hat.
-At Starbucks-
Danny: Can I get a java chip frappe with three pumps of chocolate and twelve shots of espresso?
Vlad: Dear God, just do cocaine.
Danny: I love you.
Vlad: *shoving a laundry basket at Danny* Stop saying I love you to get of chores.
Danny: We have two children. Danielle would help me hide a corpse, and Dan is the reason we have the corpse in the first place.
Vlad: *walking by with a shovel* Hope that clears things up.
Danny: We have a saying in this family.
Dani: Where there's smoke there's fire...
Danny: And where there's fire there's probably Vlad.
Danny: Yes the sex was good, but now I can get back to telling you about the Tarantula Nebula did you know that it's the largest of its kind and in the most active star forming area—
Vlad: How about a second round?