Incorrect Safeway Quotes

based off of characters in the Safeway discord ☆ You can find links to the mods' blogs as well as a link to join the Safeway discord server in /links !

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[Playing Monopoly]

Neo: Oh no! I'm in jail!

Miza: You look quite comfy there.

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You can't be a nonconformist if you don't drink coffee.

Eric

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Persephone: And I'm not stalking you. Okay, I'm a little bit 'stalking you', but...

Persephone: It's not what you think! It's just...

Persephone: [kisses Miza]

Persephone: I have a crush. I'm crushing on you.

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Trevor: Did you even listen to a single word I said?

Chris: In my defense, I listened to about five of them and that's a new record for me.

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Miza: I think I died.

Neo: I've died before, it's no big deal.

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Neo: Hell yeah! We got vinegar and cereal! Y'know what that means!!

Miza: ...What does it mean??

Neo: :)!!!

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All right, I killed him, okay? What is the big deal?!

Neo

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Miza: Oh God, please help me.

Neo: Who needs God when you've got me?

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Pietro: Why don't you have an umbrella?

Trevor, under Pietro's umbrella: Because I'm a man.

Pietro, mumbling: You're an idiot. That's what you are.

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Persephone: Aesthetically, I love like coffeehouses and coffee, but I hate actually drinking coffee.

Ruth: Tea.

Persphone: Thanks for agreeing.

Ruth: You fucking buffoon.

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Trevor: You into cars?

Persephone: Yes, it truly was a masterpiece of film.

Trevor: No, I mean like are you a car person?

Persephone: I’m a human.

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Chris: Your mom grounded you? Are you in kindergarten?

Juno: I dunno about you guys, but my parents don’t play.

Markus: My parents abandoned me, and one of them is wanted for intergalactic war crimes.

Persephone: I never had parents. I was made from desert sand and the blood sacrifice of a thousand goats.

Trevor: Dead.

Pietro: Complicated.

Neo: One of mine tried to kill me. Well, I guess both of them did.

Juno: ...Y'all need some serious therapy.

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Chris: That was a joke. Say ha.

Neo: Ha.

Chris: Now do it again.

Neo: Ha.

Chris: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

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Neo: Let’s stop using the term ‘butthurt.’ We’re not twelve anymore.

Chris: You sound fannytroubled.

Persephone: A little bootybothered if you ask me.

Miza: Someone’s having a tushytantrum.

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Miza: Why are you doing this to me?

Neo, strangling Miza: Because you’re here, and I need to express my feelings.

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Literally Anyone: Do you want my advice?

Dutchie: No.

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Trevor: Please, don't break the fourth wall. We can't afford all of the plasters.

Neo: There is no fourth wall!

Trevor: Oops. I guess we broke it again.