Owen: You guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Matt: Fowl? No. Women?... No.
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@incorrect-tbp
Owen: You guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Matt: Fowl? No. Women?... No.
Reyna: [Upon applying red lipstick in preparation for a date] Fen, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
Fen: No... Barbie, no. It makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.
Reyna: Oh! Ah... that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Fen: Please tell me you have a brilliant plan.
Matt: I don't even have a regular plan.
Reyna: Bees don’t even have knees, so if someone says you’re the bees knees, it means you’re nothing and not real.
Matt: In fact, they do. Bees have segmented legs, consisting of parts called a coax, a trochanter, a femur, a tibia and a tarsus. The joints between which are considered “knees”.
Reyna: …You geek, go do a sudoku puzzle.
Baldwin: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos!
Matt: This is the most hopeful thing I’ve ever heard.
Fen: What if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Laurie: Then it’s nacho lucky day.
Matt: Get out.
Matt: Why should someone want to harm Astrid?
Fen: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?
(Source: Buffy The Vampire Slayer)
Matt: It’s funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.
(Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Matt: This computer invasion that Ray’s performing on the coroner’s office… One assumes it is entirely legal? Reyna: [in unison] Of course. Ray: [in unison] Entirely. Matt: Right. Wasn’t here. Didn’t see it. Couldn’t have stopped you.
(Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Reyna: I’m just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.
(Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Reyna: I know what’s going on in your head.
Fen: Oh, well then, welcome to the terror dome.
Baldwin: Laurie is missing. Can you find her?
Fen: Do you think I have her micro-chipped or something?
Baldwin: Well, do you?
Fen: ... Yeah, hang on.
Matt: You made a lot of people around here feel very uncomfortable.
Fen: That's because they're a bunch of bitch-ass white boys.
Matt: I hate to break this to you, but you are also a bitch-ass white boy.
Fen: I'm not afraid.
Laurie: Neither am I.
Matt: Well, I'm terrified! These guys are professional killers! It's their profession!
Baldwin: It’s gay time.
Laurie: Don’t you mean “go time”?
Baldwin: No. Where’s my boyfriend?
Baldwin: What do you want?
Matt: A lot of things, Baldwin, but right now I want money for a dog.
Baldwin: You owe money to a dog?
Reyna: God, Matt you’re such a softie.
Matt: I am not!
Reyna: Last night I could hear you sobbing while you scrolled through pictures of kitten paws.
Matt: They have little beans for toes, Reyna!
Fen: Are you okay?
Laurie, crying: Yeah, it’s just these onions.
Fen, to the onions: What the fuck did you do to her?