Jason: What if Janet kisses me?
Eleanor: You kiss her back.
Jason: Oh, okay.
Jason:
Jason: But why her back though?

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@incorrect-thegoodplace
Jason: What if Janet kisses me?
Eleanor: You kiss her back.
Jason: Oh, okay.
Jason:
Jason: But why her back though?
Michael: Can I be frank with you guys?
Eleanor: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help
Jason: Can I still be Jason?
Eleanor: Shh, let Frank speak
Michael:
Jason: Welcome to my very first blog, in which I try different hair products!
Jason: [sprays hairspray into his mouth]
Jason:
Jason: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.
Chidi: Eleanor... I’m in love with you.
Eleanor, internally: AAAAH oh my god okay it's finally happening play it cool play it cool
Eleanor, sweating and voice cracking: that’s lit
Eleanor: When I look into your eyes, I see something beautiful
Tahani: *blushes* What?
Eleanor: My reflection
Eleanor and Chidi: *come out of a room, clothes and hair mussed up*
Eleanor, to Tahani: Now, do I have to seduce you too, or are you going to listen?
Eleanor: What's your idea for a perfect date?
Chidi: DD/MM/YYYY
Chidi: Other formats can be confusing.
Chidi: Goodnight
Eleanor: Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight. Imma fight. ‘Till we see the sunlight. Tick tick. On the clock. But the party won’t stop-
Chidi: Shut the Fuck up
I POSTED A QUOTE FROM THE SHOW AND I DIDN'T EVEN REALISE I'M SO FUCKING DUMB
Eleanor: *picks up phone from unknown number* Hello?
Murderer: I see you
Eleanor:
Eleanor:
Eleanor: Do I look good?
Eleanor: I need you.
Chidi: For?
Eleanor: Ever.
Chidi, voice cracking: Oh.
[Eleanor comforting Michael]
Eleanor: Michael, you just have to remember that nothing ever comes easy.
Eleanor: Except for Tahani, she comes really eas-
Tahani: Eleanor, SHUT UP!
[during a game of Scrabble]
Jason: I will put down 'a' to make 'a'
Eleanor: I will add on to your a to make 'ant'
Tahani: I will add on to your ant to make 'anti'
Janet: I will add on to that to make 'antidisestablishmentarianism'
Tahani:
Jason:
Eleanor: GO TO JAIL
Janet: Eleanor, this is Scrabble
Chidi: *sneezes*
Eleanor: *hands Chidi a picture of himself*
Chidi:
Chidi: Eleanor what
Eleanor: I'm blessing you
Chidi: As I tried to explain before, you cannot get honey from a hornet's nest.
Jason: I just don't think there's any science to support that, man.
Michael: if you took a shot for every bad decision you made on Earth, how drunk would you be?
Tahani: Maybe a bit tipsy
Chidi: drunk
Jason: wasted
Eleanor: dead.
Eleanor to Tahani: Yeah, we're best friends, but I'd fuck you if you asked.
Tahani: What?
Eleanor: What?
Janet: She said she'd fuck you if you asked.