Incorrect Star Trek Quotes

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[deactivated-blog]

live long and prosper, lesbian

[stemmefemme]

I came back from Twitter to tell you all about Open Pike Night because let me tell you. A podcast that functions like a call in radio talk show???? Where they've INTERVIEWED SNW cast and crew???? I got to tell Dan Jeannotte that I like his character more than Jim Kirk this week!!!!

Share your thoughts! Ask your dumb questions! Mispronounce iconic titles and then forget to listen to what the writer said in response because you're too embarrassed by your inability to speak! You can do it all!!!

Also the hosts are like. Genuinely hilarious and fun and apparently I'm just doing marketing for them so here's a link to listen to them

[stemmefemme]

Here's my Strange New Worlds Pitch: make Sybok a Q like character that shows up intermittently to cause problems and flirt with Captain Pike

[incorrect-trekk]

Spock: I spend a lot of time un-suiciding this suicide mission

[incorrect-trekk]

Kirk: I think we're missing something.

Sulu: Teamwork?

Chekov: Cohesion?

Scotty: A general sense of what we’re doing?

[incorrect-trekk]

Chekov: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Chekov and Sulu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Kirk: Our turn, Spock! One, two, three- vanilla!

Spock, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

[incorrect-trekk]

Uhura: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Sulu: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Chekov: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Sulu: Good thinking.

[incorrect-trekk]

Kirk: How many kids do you have?

Pike: Biologically, emotionally, or legally

[incorrect-trekk]

"Would you fuck a clone of yourself?"

Scotty: I don't want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex and I'm not gay.

Gaila: I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.

Bones: I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.

Spock: I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.

Jim: I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.

Sulu: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?

Rand: I'd totally do all sort of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.

Uhura: To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.

Chapel: It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.

M'benga: t's not the same as masturbating; it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!

Chekov: I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.

Jim: ... Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro clone-fucking I am

[incorrect-trekk]

Bones: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

[incorrect-trekk]

Sulu: This is such a bad idea.

Chekov: Then why are you coming along?

Sulu: One of us need to be able to talk the captain out of demoting us when this inevitably goes wrong

[incorrect-trekk]

Jim: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

[incorrect-trekk]

Jim, about Scotty: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Chekov: Are we stealing them?

Sulu: New or used?

Jim: Wonderful responses, both of you.

[incorrect-trekk]

Chekov: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

[incorrect-trekk]

Nyota: Spock...

Spock: Oh no, 'Spock' in b-flat.

Spock: You're disappointed

[incorrect-trekk]

Bones: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Chapel: I do have a sense of humor you know

Bones: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Chapel: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

[incorrect-trekk]

Bones, on twitter: I snore, so I'd just like to apologise to my future husband in advance.

Kirk: As your future husband , I accept your apology