The Wenvier's Child is Full of Woe

[waviermylove]

Ajax: Yesterday I overheard Xavier saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Wednesday replying “Trust me”.

Ajax: I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

[waviermylove]

Wednesday: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Xavier: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

[waviermylove]

Xavier: You’re full of hate and loathing and I love it.

Wednesday: It’s so good to have someone to share this hate with.

Thank you @ozmathegreatand

[novemberwasgrey]

Enid: Why did you suspect Xavier in the first place?

Wednesday: I couldn't stop thinking about him. Also, he was too pretty and I thought it meant bad news, like those creatures who lure and seduce humans to their death. At some point, I even suspected his soft hair to hide razor blades.

Enid:

Enid: Oh my god, Wednesday you just have a crush-

Bianca: Don't. Let her figure out on her own. It'll be fun.

[novemberwasgrey]

Eugene: Maybe you should have some bonding time with Ajax.

Wednesday: Why would I do that?

Eugene: He's your best friend's boyfriend and your boyfriend's best friend. Besides, Xavier and Enid seem to get along great.

Wednesday: Where did you get that idea?

Wednesday *opens the door on Xavier and Enid with beauty face masks on, painting each other's nails*

Wednesday:

Xavier: What?

Enid: Oh don't look at us like that! He is a great painter after all.

[incorrect-wenvier-quotes]

Xavier: I'm bored. Wednesday: Want to commit first degree murder? Xavier: Sure. Enid, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Tyler down!!

[novemberwasgrey]

Enid: Aw, you got Wednesday a card for Valentine's Day? How cute! What did you write?

Xavier: Oh, you know just a poem about how she got me out of a coffin when we first met and that the next one I'll be in will be buried next to hers, our cold bodies decaying through time together for eternity.

Enid:

Wednesday *teary-eyed*: He is so romantic.

[waviermylove]

Wednesday: Xavier, if I bring you a sandwich and a juice box, a simple 'Thank you' is sufficient.

Wednesday: Not all this 'how did you break into my dorm' business.

[incorrect-wenvier-quotes]

Xavier: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Enid: Weight loss? Drink water. Ajax: Clear skin? Drink water. Wednesday: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

[waviermylove]

Bianca: Surely Wednesday Addams isn’t good at everything.

Kent: Maybe she’s bad at kissing.

Xavier: No. She’s good at that too.

Bianca & Kent: What?!

Xavier: What?

[waviermylove]

Wednesday: I promise to always be by your side.

Xavier, tearing up: Wednesday, I-

Wednesday: Or under you.

Wednesday: Or on top.

[waviermylove]

Wednesday: Xavier, I don't understand why you can't just tell me the name of your crush, I'm not going to assassinate her-

Xavier: I can't tell you because she’s in the room and she would hear me!

Wednesday: Xavier, we are the only ones in this room.

Xavier: Yes, yes, I know...but...

Wednesday: SO WHO IS IT?!

Xavier:

Xavier: I JUST TOLD YOU.

[incorrect-wenvier-quotes]

Wednesday: One should be able to scrape the nightmares off a dream catcher and distill it to a pure iridescent concoction one could drink and have a thousand nightmares at once

Xavier: Well that sounds- awful...

Wednesday *sighing wistfully*: Doesn't it indeed?

Dedicated to: @gambitsobsession

[waviermylove]

Tyler, annoyed: I didn't know you fancy Xavier.

Wednesday, staring at Xavier: Of course I don't.

Tyler: Then why are you blushing?

Wednesday: I'm not. It's a rash; I'm allergic to you.

[incorrect-wenvier-quotes]

Enid: I know what can cheer you up! Some gossiip~

Wednesday: I have no interest learning about anyone's petty drama, Enid, I have better things to do.

Enid: It's about Xavier...

Wednesday:

Wednesday:

Wednesday: I'm listening...

Dedicated to: @writerswho

[waviermylove]

Wednesday: Xavier told me he liked me. Who does that?! Don't you see? He's trying to get me to trust him so he can betray me.

Enid: Crazy idea: you could just say "I like you too".

Wednesday: Perhaps, but then if it doesn't work out, I'll have to kill him, go to jail, break out, and kill you for giving me that advice.

Enid: I love how our friendship is based predominantly on threats.

[waviermylove]

Xavier: You know, I think I would like to be cremated.

Wednesday: Well, you'll have to wait till the morning, because they'll be closed now.